Jesus Had Nothing to Do With It

Sorry for the hiatus, I've been busy. And by busy I mean lazy. Doubt you missed me anyway.

In case you haven’t caught this, a family in Northern California got lost for several days in a heavy snow storm. That’s right, a father, an 18 year old boy, and two teenage girls managed to get themselves so hopelessly lost that they needed rescuing. One would assume that they were on some 20 mile wilderness hike, or camping in some remote location. And one would be wrong. They went out to find a Christmas tree for the family.

I’ve got several problems with this, the first being how the hell do you get lost trying to find a Christmas tree? I’m pretty sure that at 18 years old you could have put me at the edge of the woods with a saw, and told me to go get a Christmas tree I would have pulled it off. At the very least I would have made it back, tree or not. And I assume the dad has been around the block a few more times than the kid. The kids should be fairly happy about this though, they get a free pass for the rest of their lives. Anytime the dad tells them what to do, they can play the, “Hey dad remember that time we got lost in the woods trying to find a friggin Christmas tree? Ok, thought so, go screw,” card.

Finally, the family was quick to name Jesus as the reason they got saved. I’m going to go ahead and beg to differ on this one. The reason they were saved is because they did what you’re supposed to do when you’re lost. Find shelter, and stay the hell where you are. If you go wandering around, nobody is going to find you. So they found a nice cozy culvert, stuffed their feet in each others shirts, and hunkered down, which was definitely the smartest thing they did all week. The only thing that Jesus had to do with this is the fact that they were looking for a tree to celebrate the guy’s birthday. Or his rising. Or his crucifixion. Whatever the hell we celebrate Christmas for, I don’t know. Merry friggin Christmas.

Numbers On Steroids: Mickey Mantle

Numbers on Steroids is a look at baseball players during the 90s to see if anything screams out at you. This week it's throwing a curve ball and looking at All Time Great Yankees. Players that we know did not take steroids to see if this gives a defense to any of the players 'convicted' by Numbers on Steroids. Time to look at my dad's favorite athlete of all time, Mickey Mantle. Averages Say: What's with the mysterious dip at 27 and then the uptick? At Bats Per Home Run Says: That's a mighty jump from 22 to 24 Explaining As If It Was the 90s If you take a look at the numbers there are two time frames which in the 1990s would be questioned. First would be the incredible leap he took from his first year in the big leagues to his first MVP season in 1956. His batting average jumped 50 points. His slugging percentage jumped 90 points and he hit 15 more homers than his previous high. This wouldn't merrit a conviction nowadays though because the young age he...

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Guest Post: Thoughts on Sabathia Signing

I asked Grutt what his thoughts were on the Sabathia signing and I thought his response pretty much nailed it. So here it is. I don’t know. Every year I get a little more disenchanted with baseball. Yea, it’s great we signed the top pitching free agent. But we were supposed to. No team was even in the ballpark of the Yankees offer yet they still needed to jump from the already ridiculous price of $140 million to $160 million to close the deal. Now I hear we are going to sign more pitchers who will also get large contracts and the position player gaps are still glaring. Each new, large contract just adds to the feeling that the Yanks are supposed to win it all. “I think we have a good chance this year.” That is a lost feeling. If they don’t win I’ll wonder why, like there has to be some other reason besides that it’s a sport you can never predict how things will work out and some years just aren’t yours to be won. If they win I will be pleasantly smug. It gets a little more...

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Comments

Anonymous said…

The father reminds of Tom the chef and he would also say Jesus was the reason they made it out

12:22 PM

22 of us, most of which were half in the bag at the time, managed to do this 3 times at 2 in the morning on a weekday night and nobody got lost, hurt, or arrested. And one of those trees was a 40 footer.

Obviously the father never pledged in college.

6:43 PM

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