Thank the good lord that VS has now been moved to my basic cable package. I would have had nothing to watch had it not been for Versus offering me the option of watching Girls High School Basketball.

Thank You Versus.

I'm doing a Year in Review. Why? Because I can.

The Only Live Blog I have ever done. It included a lot of Joakim Noah hate. [April 2nd]

Giving some explanation to why Noah sucks. [April 3rd]

Arod joins my good graces. Why? Because he started wearing high socks. [April 3rd]

Mets fans were talking a big game in April. Not so much late September. [April 10th]

Sometimes those open layups are tough. [April 22nd]

I'm doing a Year in Review. Why? Because I can.

Greg Maddux urinates on teammates in the shower. That's his performance enhancer. [Mar 5th]

My tracking of the Celtics Draft Positioning was in full force. [Mar 6th]

A Brazlian Newspaper lied and said that Brady knocked up Gisele. [Mar 8th]

I Busted out My NIT Bracket... It Sucked [Mar 12th]

I rounded out My Final 4 bracket... It Marginally Sucked [Mar 14th]

Max Kellerman Had a Killer Animal Tournament... My bracket sucked. [Mar 15th]

Stupid shoes to 'honor' Red. [Mar 15th]

The Celtics pretty much officially tanked a game. [Mar 22nd]

I went 0 for in picking MLB Awards. Including the joking pick of Carl Pavano as comeback player of the year. Ha. [Mar 30th]

I'm doing a Year in Review. Why? Because I can.

Mike Greenberg suggests a stupid adjustment to the NBA Draft Process. [Feb 7th]

Duke lost 4 games in a row. [Feb 12th]

Schottenheimer gets shit canned. [Feb 13th]

I moderately overestimated Dice-K's Rookie Year Stats. [Feb 16th]

Bridget lets the boat know she's preggers. [Feb 19th]

Dominic Rhodes pissed himself after a DWI bust. [Feb 23rd]

Get your Hepatitis at SI's Swimsuit Party. [Feb 28th]

I'm doing a Year in Review. Why? Because I can.

The BCS Title Game Sucked Dong [Jan 9th]

Jason Kidd got the ole heave ho from the wife ending the free throw kiss era. [Jan 10th]

ESPN Shit Canned Stephen A's Show which was obviously a good move. [Jan 12th]

Reche Brought you his best O Face [Jan 22nd]

I suggested that Ray Allen and KG were amongst the top 5 NBAers in need of a change of scenery. Little did I know that meant the Cs a few months later. [Jan 25th]

Barbaro was Euthanized on my birthday, happy birthday me. [Jan 29th]

Trying to Buy Yankee Tickets is a Pain in the Assholes [Jan 31st]

After a week on the Mitchell report it's back to some normal voting on normal scum bags. 1. Ronnie Stack - So I understand the frustration of your team losing and god only knows what I would have been like had the Jets lost to the Dolphins, could have actually morphed into the joy of locking up the 2nd pick who knows, but I would never do what this idiot is doing. Why? Cause I have atleast somewhat of a life. What kind of ass decides he's not going to leave the roof of the bar until his favorite team wins. I hope you get a nice snow storm sometime soon. 2. New York Knicks - Once again the Knicks are attempting to separate themselves from the sane. Freedom of speech does not exist in MSG. Make a fire Isiah sign or start chanting fire isiah and you will be shown the exit. Which would be perfectly ok if you were reimbursed for the ticket charge. In fact why don't they just have a website where you can get reimbursed for your ticket if you plan on heckling Isiah. 3. Jonathan Papelbon - Some important items you should probably put in a glass jar you know away from animals and children's reach. I guess Jonathan does not think that the World Series Ball is one of those items as he has come out and said that apparently his dog ate it. 4. Rory Sabbatini - Rory has come to the conclusion that he never wants to win a tournament that Tiger Woods plays in ever again. It's one thing to trash talk and say that Tiger isn't above and beyond everyone else's reproach now, which motivated Tiger to put a whoopin on Rory. It's another thing to disrespect Tiger by bowing out of his tournament early for personal reasons. The personal reason being he wanted to start his vacation a day earlier. Get Your Vote On Last Weeks Winner: Roger Clemens

Opinion Polls & Market Research

I don't have any time to do this and I forgot to make my picks yesterday, god damn thursday night game, but I would have picked the Steelers to cover so I'll give my self a 1/2 point. Eh whatever I'm taking credit for the whole thing. No suggestions this week, and probably nobody cares.

Spread Picks

Non Spread Picks

Everyone needs something to keep them occupied on Friday afternoons so the Friday Video Blowout was born. Spend your next few minutes, laughing, crying of laughter, pissing your self, whatever, but mostly wasting your companies time.

Videos In Order Courtesy of Black20, EC, With Malice, With Malice again, CGB, Adult Swim, AA, Fanhouse, Fanhouse again, Hot Clicks


Nooooo Not Kelly Leak.


Good ole fashion old man beating a younger stronger dude.


I enjoyed the head stomping, it reminded me of American History X.


This lucky bastard (With Malice) lives in Japan so he gets this stuff daily.


West Virginians might have to look in the mirror and wonder why the hell would Rodriguez want to stay.

Sorry for the hiatus, I've been busy. And by busy I mean lazy. Doubt you missed me anyway.

In case you haven’t caught this, a family in Northern California got lost for several days in a heavy snow storm. That’s right, a father, an 18 year old boy, and two teenage girls managed to get themselves so hopelessly lost that they needed rescuing. One would assume that they were on some 20 mile wilderness hike, or camping in some remote location. And one would be wrong. They went out to find a Christmas tree for the family.

I’ve got several problems with this, the first being how the hell do you get lost trying to find a Christmas tree? I’m pretty sure that at 18 years old you could have put me at the edge of the woods with a saw, and told me to go get a Christmas tree I would have pulled it off. At the very least I would have made it back, tree or not. And I assume the dad has been around the block a few more times than the kid. The kids should be fairly happy about this though, they get a free pass for the rest of their lives. Anytime the dad tells them what to do, they can play the, “Hey dad remember that time we got lost in the woods trying to find a friggin Christmas tree? Ok, thought so, go screw,” card.

Finally, the family was quick to name Jesus as the reason they got saved. I’m going to go ahead and beg to differ on this one. The reason they were saved is because they did what you’re supposed to do when you’re lost. Find shelter, and stay the hell where you are. If you go wandering around, nobody is going to find you. So they found a nice cozy culvert, stuffed their feet in each others shirts, and hunkered down, which was definitely the smartest thing they did all week. The only thing that Jesus had to do with this is the fact that they were looking for a tree to celebrate the guy’s birthday. Or his rising. Or his crucifixion. Whatever the hell we celebrate Christmas for, I don’t know. Merry friggin Christmas.

Seriously do we need for players to come out and give their admittance or denials for the Mitchell Report. You're in there for a reason; most of us, maybe not people from West Virginia, have the ability to read. The ability to read allows us to come to the conclusion that you did something, but we should be intelligent enough to know that you're not the only one. And yet the comments have been pooring in this past week.

The people who come out and admit to the usage (Pettite, Roberts, Vina) always have one caveat. I only took it for so many times and then I realized it wasn't for me. Or I took it so that I could heal and be on the team. Or in Vina's case he didn't take steroids because that's not what type of player he was. Cause being able to hit hard line drives instead of soft liners doesn't make a difference in baseball. Hell in Roberts' case everyone was damning the Mitchell Report for including him and for some reason he felt obliged to concur with the report and not ride the wave of sympathy.

My favorite comments are the ones made by players who think this justifies their stats (Mike Sweeney). "I wasn't in the Mitchell Report so I'm obviously not a steroid user." No Mike all it means is that you didn't get your HGH or steroids from either Kirk Radomski or BALCO. I'm not saying you did or did not take steroids, I'm just saying that the Mitchell Report far from clears anyone from suspicion of guilt.

And last but certainly not least is the blanket denial. There are shipments to your house or people saying that they stuck needles in your ass or your workout partner just admitted to usage however you never even touched the stuff. Come on, why would we believe any of this. If you ordered HGH or Steroids we're supposed to believe that you not once tried the substances. Or we're supposed to believe that Radomski who has nothing to gain from lying is lying solely about you but nobody else. Give me a break.

You know what kind of comments you should make? The comment of lack of acknowledgment. When someone asks you a question about the Mitchell Report just say how meaningless it was. Criticize the lack of depth of the report, criticize the fact that they uncovered only one new source that the public did not already have knowledge of. Don't give the stupid blanket rejection or the caveat laden admittance. And if you were not mentioned in the Report please don't see it as an opportunity to 'clear' your name you will just look like more of an idiot by actually acknowledging this joke of an investigation.

You have the ball in a tie game with 5.2 seconds left coming out of a timeout. Your options should be win or go to overtime. As a coach there is no way you should lose the game. If your team loses the game in regulation it should be completely put on your shoulders.

I'm not going to kill him for either of the failed decisions but the results are what matters. I understand giving the ball to Pierce on the final possession, I don't like it, but I understand it. He's the 'clutch' guy, apparently he's the man for the final second. He had an off night and probably wasn't the best option but I'll get over the decision to give him the shot. However, not instructing him to take his dumb fade away jumper when there was under a second in regulation was completely idiotic.

The next decision to put in Tony Allen was questionable but not terrible. House isn't a good defender and Rondo was getting abused downlow by Billups, so putting in the athletic Allen was not a bad move. However, you as a coach have to know that he is completely overaggressive and that Billups and Rip are two of the masters of the pump fake and rub. In the huddle you should emphasize not biting on any pump fakes, especially to Ray, who's smart enough to know better in the closing seconds, and Tony who were guarding the likely culprits.

Both decisions were bad but not terrible, but the end result is completely Docs fault and reminded me of the days which seem long ago where I wouldn't have minded if his head was on a platter.

Speaking of ESPN Bowl Mania, they couldn't get a sponsor for their game? Every meaningless bowl game is sponsored by someone yet their Bowl Pick 'Em which will probably be viewed as much as the GMAC or Independence or Poinsettia Bowl couldn't get a better sponsorship than the NBA on ESPN? That's pretty pathetic.

The Bowls are right around the corner and since I'm doing such a horrible job with my NFL picks this season perhaps I'm due a little bit of luck. Also if you care to defeat me in Bowl Pick 'Em probably not a difficult task you can join my league 'Can't Spell Lloyd without 2 Ls' at ESPN. Anyway here's one sentence reasons why I picked each game.

San Diego Bowl: Utah over Navy cause the Midshipman Coach decided to bail ship.

New Orleans Bowl: Florida A&T over Memphis cause they are from Florida, thats it.

PapaJohns Bowl: Cincinnati over Southern Miss cause the Bearcats didn't get their coach stolen by Michigan.

New Mexico Bowl: New Mexico over Nevada cause nothing says homefield like having the same name as the bowl game.

Las Vegas Bowl: BYU over UCLA cause UCLA lost to Notre Dame.

Hawaii Bowl: Boise St. over East Carolina cause the powers extend past the smurf turf.

Motor City Bowl: Central Michigan over Purdon't cause the MAC owns the Big 10 this year.

Holiday Bowl: Arizona St. over Texas cause the Loghorns are highly overrated.

Champs Sports: BC over Michigan St. cause the Eagles always win their bowl games cause every year they face inferior teams.

Texas Bowl: Houston over TCU cause the coin landed tails.

Emerald Bowl: Oregon St. over Maryland cause the Beaver is too powerful to be contained in a fridge.

Car Care Bowl: Wake Forest over Uconn cause I drink the haterade.

Liberty Bowl: Miss St. over UCF cause nothing says Croomed like a Bowl loss.

Alamo Bowl: Penn St. over A&M cause the Aggies still haven't gotten their running back on a conditioning plan.

Independence Bowl: Bama over Colorado cause one 6-6 team must win.

Armed Forces Bowl: Cal over Air Force cause them helicopters can't stop Desean Jackson.

Sun Bowl: South Florida over Oregon cause a Leaf is going to QB for one team and not the other.

Humanitarian Bowl: Georgia Tech over Fresno St. cause the Jackets showed charity when they let Glennon use their jersey.

Gaylord Bowl: Kentucky over FSU cause Cheat St. University got caught.

Insight Bowl: Indiana over Okie St. cause this ones for Coach Hep.

Peach Bowl: Auburn over Clemson cause the ACC likes to suspend all of their players for the bowl game.

Outback Bowl: Tennessee over Wisconsin cause this time the coin landed heads.

Cotton Bowl: Missouri over Arkansas cause the Razorbacks ain't got Patrino yet.

Gator Bowl: Texas Tech over Virginia cause Al Groh will have his mind explode trying to defend the Red Raiders.

Cap One Bowl: Florida over Michigan cause the Tebow spread won't be stopped.

Rose Bowl: USC over Illinois cause there will be no Zooking in Pasadena.

Sugar Bowl: Georgia over Hawaii cause there won't be back to back BCS miracles.

Fiesta Bowl: Oklahoma over West Virginia cause Pat White will be broken in half.

Orange Bowl: VaTech over Kansas cause the Ass Face is Better than the Triple Chin.

International Bowl: Rutgers over Ball St. cause Schiano is too good for Michigan.

GMAC Bowl: Tulsa over Bowling Green cause um ain't got no reason.

BCS Title Game: LSU over Ohio St. cause the Buckeyes are inept versus the SEC.

Good luck soundly defeating me...

Deadspin had this beauty of a T-Shirt Yesterday. I made a few enhancements.

This season the NBA has listened to one of my many thoguht and has started to track a players +/- during the course of individual games. Due to my dislike of Brian Scalabrine, I am going to track he's performance in a weekly post called The Scalabrine Watch. 3 Million a year for what?

Celtics 90 Kings 78: -5
Scals got double digit minutes against the Kings and man did he take advantage of it. 2 free throws and one steal. An Epic performance.

Game Stats: 10 Minutes, 0-2, 2 Points, 0 Rebounds, 1 Steal, 0 Assists

Celtics 104 Bucks 82: -4
The Bucks somehow managed to stifle Scals from the field and shut him out completely. You really have to credit the Bucks for focusing on stopping the main weapon. Kind of similar to what the 49ers did in their loss to the Vikings when they held Peterson to 3 yards rushing.

Game Stats: 8 Minutes, 0-1, 0 Points, 0 Rebounds, 1 Assist

Celtics 90 Raptors 77: -5
Scals got those essential 2 points in the Celtics 90-77 victory over the Toronto Raptors. Who knows where they would have been without him on the court. Unfortunately his efforts were for naught apparently as he put up his 3rd negative of the week.

Game Stats: 2 Minutes, 1-1, 2 Points, 0 Rebounds, 0 Assists

Overall Week Performance: -14
Scals put in his least productive performances this week exactly when Truehoop and others were commenting on how he has become a fan favorite in Boston and is cheered whenever he touches the ball. Doc apparently is ignoring your cheers.

Week Stats: 20 Minutes, 1-4, 4 Points, 0 Rebounds, 1 Assist

Overall Season Performance: +23
Maybe I spoke to soon last week when I said I didn't think there was a way Scals could reach par this season. If Doc keeps on playing him only in the scrub minutes when the Celtics already have the games in the wraps

Season Stats:11 MPG, .340 FG%, 2.4 PPG, 1.5 RPG, 0.8 APG

Sometimes you just gotta throw stuff on the field. Like lit flares, giant chunks of ice and dead animals. You gotta do what you gotta do.


That delay lasted about 10 seconds for jagged ice balls. Why couldn't they have hit Justin McCareins in his useless hands?


Apparently the Patriots hit Phil during the tuck rule game. They should have hit him harder, cause he still sucks up to them.


Throw the ball back or Derek Lee gets frustrated and wants to hit tall white guys.


Jet Fans typically make paper planes and attempt to throw them on the field. We suck.


I always enjoyed the Octopus throw by the Red Wings.


The Top 10 moments, and Dida getting hit in the head isn't number 1? Well he is a soccer player with terrible acting skills so perhaps he embellished it a bit.

Sorry boys and gals but the ole production here may be on a bit of a decline for the next two weeks. Because I haven't taken many of my vacation days this year and they evaporate at the end of the year my last day of work for 07 is manana. Today I'm studying for a final I'm probably gonna bomb anyway, so hence the no production today.

Anyway there should be posts a plenty tomorrow, the typical Weekly Waste, and Video Blowouts on friday and a review of each months best/most interesting posts/stories and a sporadic post here and there if I get time. Otherwise there won't be too much here.

Anyway here I'm sitting here studying at home right now and have the TV on and one of those made for tv ads come on. It's for a plastic piece of garbage that you can put your laptop on for a mild incline, so its more ergonomic or whatever. It costs 20 bucks, it probably costs 50 cents to make. So god damn stupid. Porta Book < Porta Potty.

With Justin's demeanor on the football field it would be surprising if he didn't absolutely love Jewell. See if you can find Justin's hands in the video my guess is they are probably ones that are brittle and not built to maintain contact with pigskin.

Appalachian St. throttled Delaware in the Division 1-AA Football Championship Subdivision of Continental America to give themselves that trademarked threepeat.

That puts the season total at App St. 2 Winged Helmets Zero. And to add insult to defeat the Blue Hens returned a kick for a touchdown and then the returner proceeded to drill a security guard in celebration. Quite classy.

If you were smart enough to draft Tom Brady this year in your fantasy league than chances are you were bragging to all of your buddies during the first 13 weeks of the year. You had five touchdowns a week, you had Tom Brady in the Fantasy Playoffs motivated facing the New York Jets in the semifinals and the inept Dolphins in the finals. He was going to throw 5 touchdowns in both games and you were going to ride the Brady wave directly to the cash. He was far away the best player in the league. Or so you would have thought.

Instead what you got was the 27th most points put up by a quarterback this week. 14 Completions for a modest 140 yards plus one interception. The list of quarterbacks that put up more points than Tom consists of well, just about everybody because only 30 QBs have suited up so far. The immortal Todd Collins put up fractionally more points than Tom since he didn't throw any interceptions. Have Cleo Lemon on your bench for some reason? He threw for 165 more yards than Brady, you should have started him. What about Shaun Hill? You knew he was going to throw and rush for a touchdown and put up 10+ more points than Brady right? Matt Moore, Chad Pennington, Trent Edwards, Brodie Croyle, Josh McCown, Kyle Boller. All better than Brady.

The only saving grace for Brady owners would be if they played Tony 'My Girlfriend is in the stands so I can't Concentrate' Romo or Derek ' It's Snowing So Hard I can't See Three Inches in Front of My Face' Anderson or Kellen "I threw One Pass for a Pick 6' or Chris 'My Coach Quit On Us' Redman who were the four starting quarterbacks to have a worse afternoon than Tom.

1. You got your win, so are you satisfied with your Christmas gift?
2. Cleo Lemon = Santa Claus, Brian Billick = The Grinch
3. Your parents must be pretty releaved that they no longer have to spend any money on you. Perhaps they'll send Cam and the boys a thank you card.







1. Why does Chad have no arm?
2. Why is it raining, it's so damn cold?
3. Why can't McCareins catch the ball?
4. Why does my team suck?
5. Why couldn't we have broken Tom's ankle?




1. Jessica will you marry me?
2. On second thought maybe you should stop coming to my games.
3. And maybe stop seeing me period. Do you have Carrie Underwood's number? I lost it.








1. I am definitely too old for this.
2. Am I wearing Zubaz pants?
3. My grandchildren are all ashamed of me.









1. This thing smells like feet.
2. The water cannot not touch my skin or I will melt.
3. Hahaha I know that bastard McCareins has no hands and didn't catch that ball.








Eric "Hey Bill you look slender right now? Did you start dieting?"
Bill "I don't want to talk about the past I just want to concentrate on my meals for this week. The past is in the past the future is in the future but it's time to focus on the present."
Eric "So is that a yes or a no?"




1. Out of all the places to go for vacation I chose a Panther game? Stupid.
2. Mrs. Claus is getting me three beers, it's last call.
3. All I wanted for Christmas was Vinny to start, and I didn't get it.





1. Did I miss something the game is Sunday right?
2. Did they cancel the game because we suck so bad?
3. I heard first one to the game gets to play running ack.





1. This mask signifies the inner struggles of being from Seattle.
2. That wuss Panther fan's got nothing on my horns.
3. I wear the beads to get the ladies to show me their hooters. It hasn't worked yet.








1. I'm gonna have to return this baby, cause well it isn't mine.
2. Are you sure this isn't Reggie Bush? I could have sworn I saw him running around in a pink sweatshirt before.
3. She's actually going to call all of our plays today.




1. Perhaps this is why your team lost?
2. This beer gut is a warmth machine.
3. The beard keeps my right nipple warm, that's my one weakness.




Trent "Will you make love to me later?"
Shawn "Um Trent you're being a little awkward."
Trent " But Shawn you just won the Superbowl and I always wanted to sleep with a Superbowl winning Quarterback."
Shawn "Um Trent, first we didn't win the Superbowl and second you are a Superbwol winning Quarterback."
Trent "I'll catch."
Shawn "I think your head is still injured from last week."

Does anybody in the league consistantly drop balls like Justin McCareins? Way to bobble away that easy touchdown catch. Not to mention another easy dropped catch earlier in the game plus the inability to make contact with a punt inside the five. You should have been a Dback.

I'm sorry but your entry into Team Asia has been denied. You obviously would lose a battle to both Samari and Ninja. You sir are certainly a fake asian or fakasian or fasian, don't know what sounds better.

Here's a long awaited rebus. Remember the rules are... Winner is the first to identify the associated person, place or thing in the comments section. The Ultimate winner is the person who manages to put together what all the clues and answer is. I will post the answers sometime later if this isn't accomplished.

So start your guessin...

Furthermore I think I might start a distribution list for when I do any more rebuses in the future, that way everyone is on an even playing field as to when it starts. If you want on this list just send me an email.

8-8 you can book it. Already 0-1. So what the hell let's just make this the road favorite edition of the pick suggestions.

5. Cincinnati Bengals (-8 1/2) at San Francisco 49ers
The 49ers suck. Cincy isn't a very good team but the 49ers are terrible. They are playing with their 3rd string QB now and even against the Bengals miserable defense they won't be able to put up any points.

4. Seattle Seahawks (-7 1/2) at Carolina Panthers
The Panthers suck. The Seahawks are competing for the #3 spot and while that has limited motivation they should want to continue playing well and defeating the Panthers easily should not be a problem.

3. Baltimore Ravens (-4 1/2) at Miami Dolphins
The Dolphins suck. So do the Ravens, but not as much. This is Miami's last good chance to win a game and it will end not so well for them. They're offense is going to score 10 or less points, so their defense better play superbly.

2. Tennessee Titans (-3 1/2) at Kansas City Chiefs
The Chiefs suck. The Titans need this game to keep their playoff hopes alive so they should be highly motivated off of their choke job last week and should take care of business.

1. Indianapolis Colts (-10 1/2) at Oakland Raiders
The Colts have some breathing room now for the #2 spot after the Steelers loss last week, but just cause they have less motivation doesn't mean they won't smoke the inept Raiders.
Survivor League Pick: Death to Norv Chargers

Tampa Bay sucks but they're playing the Falcons. So I'm going with the Bucs mostly because I'm running out of teams and I'm holding out on using the Cowboys until next week against the Iggles.

Non-Spread Picks

Everyone needs something to keep them occupied on Friday afternoons so the Friday Video Blowout was born. Spend your next few minutes, laughing, crying of laughter, pissing your self, whatever, but mostly wasting your companies time.

Videos In Order Courtesy of me, With Leather, Me, Who Ate All the Pies, EDSBS, The Offside, Who Ate All the Pies, AA, 100% IR, The Postmen, The Sporting Blog


I miss you Dave Chappelle.


Once again the Asians are brilliant.


Talk about a stupid celebration, Chad Johnson wouldn't even fall to this depth.


Just in case you couldn't tell, they're scoring for the wrong team.


This needs to be updated...


Kicking the ball straight up in the air was probably a bad decision.


Even backyard footballers have no scrotum.


Ya you here that Mike, avoid the fried chicken.


Hatin on Fat People is fun.


Might want to put down that last beer and hit a gym.

Well since this is the biggest story of the week by a landslide, let's just do a little Mitchell Report Themed Weekly Waste of Oxygen. There's plenty of people who obviously suck. 1. Players Association - This report in reality accomplished little to nothing. They only additional names this report dug up were from Radomski and in reality you know that sooner or later they would have just bubbled to the surface anyway. For the most part the Players Association is to blame for this. They refused all cooperation even if they were 100% clean of wrong doing, their unwillingness to do any ratting just meant that this was for the most part a waste of time and money. 2. Roger Clemens - He's the #1 target in this report and he has the most to lose after the report. He's often been described as the best pitcher of this generation if not the best pitcher of all time and now with this report and 1st hand experience of steroid injections he's no better than Barry Bonds. A cheat and a crook. 3. Paul Lo Duca - Paully comes off in this report as the little douche that got everybody on the drugs. Not only did he do it himself but he got them for Gagne, got Kevin Brown on them etc. Lo Duca is just as bad if not worse than Radomski. 4. MLB GMs - This report paints a seriously bad picture of some major league GMs. It was evident that the Giants general manager knew that Barry Bonds was juicing. It was evident that the Dodgers GM knew that Kevin Brown was juicing. And it was evident that Theo Epstein was told that Gagne's injuries were a result of his steroid use. And yet none of these GMs did anything but reward these players for their skills. One can imagine that this is just scraping the surface of General Manager's negligence around the league. Get Your Vote On Last Weeks Winner: Stephen A. Smith

Opinion Polls & Market Research

~The Friggin thing is one big citation. Every single page is practically half footnotes. Also, do they know how to create a PDF? Is it that hard to link up the damn table of contents so you can click on a topic and it will bring you directly to that point. I guess they couldn't afford the 20 extra minutes of formatting this would have taken. Anyway the way the document is put together it looks like a 5th grader did it. Now I guess onto its contents.

~Did we need the rehashing of all the BALCO stuff we already knew? Or the HGH shipments to Ankiel, Glaus, Matthews Jr. etc. that we already knew?

~In Reality this report is BALCO, Radomski, the Segui household and the Internet HGH scandal it barely scrapes the surface of the steroid era. They really have two suppliers (BALCO & Radomski) and their users to think that there were only two suppliers in major league baseball is ridiculous.

~I wonder how much money Radomski made dealing. Probably a decent chunk of change.

~Nook Logan's name is Exavier? Who knew. Dude weighs about 153 soaking wet though.

~Andy Pettite should just admit to whats in the document as should many others. The Document simply says Pettite took a few injections of HGH while rehabbing an injury. It mentions nothing about steroids at all and doesn't make claims that he had a prolonged use. So simply put this says that he took HGH to attempt to heal while not playing. Who the hell cares about that. Just come out say you did it and not answer any of the other questions. Especially regarding Clemens who is accused of doing far more than you were.

~Maybe some of these players should have met with Mitchell as many of the segments end with, I gave him the chance to meet with me and talk about this but he declined. In other words I gave him the chance to give a feasible denial, but he bitched out so he can go to hell and enjoy the smearing that will come after the report was published. One such case was Brian Roberts who all he has against him is that he apparently admitted to Bigbie that he tried steroids a few times. That's the only evidence, nothing about him buying anything or people injected him, a here say confession.

~Does Tejada now acccept a pay cut?

~Apparently a few guys when getting caught for roids blew the whistle on Radomski and this is why he decided to say f 'em all and give up everybody. I bet the folks that didn't rat him out are pretty pissed about this.

~Do normal people pay for drugs using checks? Wouldn't cash make a lot more sense?

~Paul Lo Duca responded on Dodger Stationary which is pure genius on his part.

~ESPN couldn't get their own employee, Fernando Vina, to come on camera and respond to the allegations?

~There are way too many people who are out of baseball on this list whom I don't care about at all.

~I found this funny "Radomski called Brown and told him not to check the signature waiver box on the overnight delivery package when he was sending cash, because the envelope was left on Radomski’s doorstep for several hours and could have been taken."

~But not so much this "...Steroids speculated by GM. Less than two months later, the Dodgers traded Brown to the Yankees." The Dodgers thought Kevin Brown was taking roids so they traded him to the stupid Yankees.

~I found this funny "Theo Epstein asked, 'Have you done any digging on Gagne?' Mark Delpiano [responded], 'Some digging on Gagne and steroids IS the issue... Personally, durability (or lack of) will follow Gagne...'" And yet the Red Sox still traded for the bum.

~I found this funny "Radomski said that he did not sell Vaughn steroids because Vaughn was 'afraid of the big needles.'" Ha Mo is a big pussy.

~I found the section about Tejeda taking around 50 B12 shots a season very humorous.

~A lot of these players took HGH from Radomski way after their prime. Brown, Vaughn, Pettitte, Knoblauch, etc. so many of them got the stuff from Radomski when they were starting to suck and were trying to get back from injury which for the most part didn't work.

~Man I thought my list was really good but I was obviously wrong. I picked the wrong Met apparently, I should have thought about Todd Hundley. That one was so obvious.

~Oh I got the Broncos tonight to cover against the Texans. What a useless football game.

Once again a Quick Hitters Version. Each # is associated to a person, place or thing. The entire Rebus is set under a given theme. Post the answers in the comments for both each entry and the theme. This one has another person, place or thing associated with each answer under the them. Got a question email me, else have at it.

The Falcons had a lot of bad things to say about good ole Bobby which included Joey Harrington saying that's not what a man does. Perhaps Joey should rethink insulting anybody, it's not as if he holds the greatest of track records.

ESPN came out this morning, apparently couldn't wait a few hours for the official report, and threw Clemens name under the bus. I guess the whole Les Miles debacle hasn't taught ESPN any patience but for the sake of argument let's just assume they are correct and that Clemens is in fact on the report. Is anybody surprised by this? Where there's smoke there's fire and when Grimsley came out and mentioned Clemens well that was the smoke. Plus the fact he had a low 2 ERA in his 40s, a bit ridiculous.

I honestly think that by the end of this report people just are going to care that much less about the past steroid users. Once a large amount of big names come out and everyone just can't pinpoint all of their rage on Barry Bonds people are going to lose interest. I don't even think people that did not take anything will get an added bonus, it will be well no one said he took steroids but who knows.

That same article said that the Yanks will have several players on this list and that it will be a 'Rough Day in the Bronx'. So here's to what could be an interesting day.

I think one thing that needs to come out of this report is that everyone should take an honest look at themselves and think if I was them what would I have done. Would you have taken steroids or HGH or anything to give you an edge? Be honest with yourself.

Personally I don't think I could give a flat out no. I don't know if I could say if I was in any situation in a major league baseball career that I wouldn't have tried to get any edge to improve the situation. To me there are to distinct scenarios where I would most likely differ. The first would be the situation of Barry Bonds and those players that were already superior athletes and had already made a name for themselves. I honestly think that if I was in that situation and I had already established myself in the big leagues as a good player that I would be content with that. I think I wouldn't seek out the extra edge to turn myself into a Hall of Fame player or get that extra 1 or 2 million in the contract. However if I was a struggling high minors player who desperately wanted to get into the league or someone who was bouncing between the majors and the minors and I truly thought that taking Steroids or HGH would let me establish myself as a full time major leaguer than I probably would have done it. I obviously would have known what I was doing was wrong but so close to a dream I think I would have sacrificed my morals and attempted to achieve the dream.

So what do you think, what would you have done in either of those scenarios?

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Over at EC we held a Mitchell Report Fantasy Draft where the objective is to pick out those who you think will wind up in the Mitchell Report. The only guidelines were that you could not pick Balco boys and those that have already been busted by MLB. We held the draft this afternoon and here are my selections.

1. Ivan Rodriguez - He's got no power anymore and lost like 30 pounds one off season. Plus he played with Canseco and a bunch of obvious juicers.

2. Nomar - Has anyone gotten injured more than Nomar since they started testing? Plus the guy has no power whatsoever anymore.

3. Jay Payton - I wanted to pick a Met because of the whole Radomski thing and I couldn't quite decide but landed on Jay Payton after I saw that pick and the fact that he's now a bum.

4. Jeff Bagwell - Probably my worst pick. I think he juiced but I just don't know if he winds up in the report.

5. Sammy Sosa - I guess people were not aware they could draft Sosa. But he's never been busted by anyone. But he definitely took roids so here's hoping he ends up in the report.

Check out my competition if you want.

Here's a long awaited rebus. Remember the rules are... Winner is the first to identify the associated person, place or thing in the comments section. The Ultimate winner is the person who manages to put together what all the clues and answer is. I will post the answers sometime later if this isn't accomplished.

So start your guessin...

All these people killing Bobby Petrino for leaving the Falcons need to calm down. If you signed up for a job which had one key perk and before you even started getting assessed for the job that perk was taken away what would you do? Would you stick around and fail because you're missing the ingredient you thought would make you successful or would you jump ship before your stock was irreparably damaged? The Falcons really have no hope in the short term. Teams without a quarterback don't get miraculously better in a year. The Falcons are going to have to utilize one of their top picks to bring in a Quarterback which is always an extremely dangerous proposition and usually does not lead to early success. Meanwhile the teams repeated failure would continue to weigh on Petrino's mind and his image. By leaving now he cut his losses. Most people would do the same thing.

However I don't get the move to Arkansas. They're going to lose McFadden, their #1 and #2 wideouts and possibly #2 running back Felix Jones if he wants to make money. They're in the SEC so they never play an easy schedule and they always have a ton of recruiting competition. There's a reason Arkansas has been turned down so much during this short hiring process, it's not that attractive of a job. It has tradition, but not one that is above and beyond the typical SEC tradition. It does not have the talent to win next year which will put a lot of pressure on the 2009 season. They additionally start a series with Texas next year so add another tough challenge every year on their schedule.

So in the long run Petrino has probably been kicking himself about his decision to leave Louisville everyday since Bad Newz Kennelz was first unveiled. He probably wishes he could go back to Louisville right now but when a Big Conference school came calling he had to accept.

That was a mean spike, he'd probably be sick on the Dominican Republic Olympic Volleyball team. In all seriousness though hopefully he didn't dislodge TJ Ford's to fused vertebrae in his neck, that would probably be bad.

The Cubbies are going Asian as they have won the Fukudome sweepstakes and will bring in the Japanese right fielder to replace the traded Jacque Jones. It seems like a good move for the Cubbies nothing says bonus merchandising like signing an Asian hero. Additionally in 2006 he lit up the Central league hitting .351 with 31 dingers and won the MVP. He's a lefty so he could bring balance to the Soriano, Lee, Aramis right handed overload in the middle of the lineup. They did give him $12 million a year which seems a bit much for a player who's never hit a single baseball in the majors but it was probably the right move.

Having said that with the Cubs luck chances are high that Fukudome will just end up being the Asian Jacque Jones and won't help the team at all. I can say that I can't wait for announcers to say Fukudome consistently.

Wow You Guys Suck: San Francisco 49ers, When you completely shutdown the best player on the other team, and 3 yards is a total shutdown, but you still lose by 20 points you know just how badly your team sucks. It took Trent one pass attempt to throw a touchdwown for the wrong team. The Pats will enjoy their 2nd overall draft pick. Runners Up: Atlanta is just a piss poor team, Miami needs no elaboration.

This Scarecrow Needs a Brain: Anthony Smith, Way to back up all that shit talk Anthony. You played so well this weekend and so did your team. WHy are you even talking to the press anyway. No one knows who you are. Next time perhaps you should just say next question. Runners Up: Apparently Mangini screwed up the entire last two minutes of the game to which I respond who cares, the Steelers '#1' D forgot that receivers needed to be covered and pressure needed to be put on the quarterback.

Cough Cough Cough: Detroit Lions, At half time I thought to myself damn the Lions actually might still be kicking after their piss poor 2nd half start. And then much like their season they collapsed in the 2nd half. Witten intially bailed them out with a fumble at the one but the Lions choked on the field goal attempt and then just let the Cowboys drive the length of the field yet again for the winning td. Runners Up: Tennessee equally watched their playoff hopes slip away when they coughed up a should have been win against the Bolts, Pittsburgh's secondary cause I want to pile it on.

The Shocker: Houston Texans, Um I guess you can consider this a shock but the Bucs aren't very good they are simply a product of their easy schedule. But... Runners Up: 2 of the 16 underdogs won this week one was the Texans and the other was the Giants who are going to the playoffs while the Eagles are not it was a very predictable and dull weekend for the NFL.

The Pimp: Tom Brady, this repeat cycle is already old. He's 4 touchdowns away from the all time record and he kicked the shit out of me in my fantasy playoff matchup. And in the next two weeks Tom Brady is going to win 80% of the fantasy leagues out there after he puts up 5 touchdowns against both the Jets and the Dolphins. Runners Up: Todd Collins um ya you're still in the NFL apparently and I guess you play better than well most of the QBs in the league, Tony Romo is a poor man's Brady (Typical Football Analyst Comment).

You Got JAKKED UP: Vince Young/Shawne Merriman, Young got knocked up pretty bad by a cheap shot by Merriman. And then the Titans hurt Merriman, quality karma.

My Fantasy Anti-MVP: Purple Jesus, Um hey Adrian, I know you've been awesome the entire season, but it would be nice if you god damn show up in my playoff matchup when I'm facing Tom Brady for the third time of the season. 3 yards? Nice job.

New York Jets MVP: Who Cares, I really only will care if the Jets beat the Pats this week, the rest of the games outcomes are meaningless to me.

My Picks

My Picks: 13-3
Preseason Picks: 10-6
Picks Vs. Spread: 8-8

Just call me Mr. 500.

Once again a Quick Hitters Version. Each # is associated to a person, place or thing. The entire Rebus is set under a given theme. Post the answers in the comments for both each entry and the theme. Have at it.

Looking forward to the 2008 baseball season already? Are you a Yankee fan or a Yankee Hater? Well if so you may have missed an important transaction over the weekend which may interest you. The Yankees signed hard throwing righty Latroy Hawkins to a 1 year contract to pitch out of the New York Bullpen.

What does that mean for New York fans? Well now they will have one more person that comes out of their bullpen to hate. If there's one person who just might take the 'most hated man in the bullpen tag' away from Farny it's Latroy Hawkins. Latroy was very good for the Rockies last year, but that's the Rockies and no one was paying attention to him. The one year he was a closer for the entire season? 5.96 era. His second opportunity as a full time closer? He blew 9 of his 34 save opportunities for the Cubs. The one year he spent in the AL East as a pitcher? 4.48 era. Not inspiring lots of confidence.

Maybe he'll pitch similarly to his season in Colorado last year or some of his stellar set up performances with the Twins but there's a good chance he's going to be hated by Yankee fans everywhere and cheered for when brought in at Fenway by the nation.

Just in case you for some reason needed more reason to avoid the dump that is Newark New Jersey, the kind state senators quickly voted on an act to punish anyone visiting their brand new arena. The senate has decided to inflict a 5% tax on all tickets in the new arena to help with the necessary security needed outside the arena.

"We have to provide the security we need without impacting the community we live in," said Sen. Ronald Rice (D-Essex) a former Newark deputy mayor and sponsor of the measures. Star-Ledger

So pretty much Newark is admitting that their community is a complete dump and that it needs massive security to ensure the safety of those that travel to their new arena, but they do not want to bare the costs. Instead they want to dump another annoying surcharge on those that venture into their community and actually spend money on their community. I guess the hundreds of jobs and the extra tax dollars it is generating for the community of Newark just wasn't enough. Perhaps they just want to convince people not to come to only thing worthwhile in their shit city.

Much will be made this week of the Cameragate and the Jets ratting them out and blah blah blah we've already been over this a thousand times. I'm certain that you'll hear someone say that the NFL obviously cared because they punished them by taking away their draft pick for this season. Well I think I have a better solution to the punishment received for Cameragate.

When people commit silly petty crimes in America they are often times given community service hours. Whether this be working to clean up the dirty streets of America or working at a soup kitchen they are always done for the betterment of the community. Personally I like when the punishments given force people to help those that are less fortunate than themselves. This is why I think that instead of the Patriots simply being removed their own first round draft pick, simply resulting in one less college kid saying that they were a first round draft pick, I suggest that the Patriots use this pick to give to those that are less fortunate. Give to those that are starving and have no hope.

This is why the New England Patriots should simply forfeit their draft pick over to the Miami Dolphins. The Dolphins are going to go down as the worst team in NFL history. They've already been slaughtered by the inept New York Jets this season, they have no quarterback, they need just about every position imaginable. They really have no hope. So why not just give the Patriots pick to the Dolphins they really are the homeless guy at the soup kitchen in the NFL. The Pats should pass them a little Navy Bean soup.

This season the NBA has listened to one of my many thoguht and has started to track a players +/- during the course of individual games. Due to my intense dislike of Brian Scalabrine, I am going to track the inept deadbeat in a weekly post called The Scalabrine Watch.

Celtics 113 76ers 103: -3
Scals got in for a whopping 2 minutes against the 76ers early in the week, to which he contributed absolutely no statistic. Not a point, not a rebound, Not a foul not a turnover, nothing. Zeros across the board.

Game Stats: 2 Minutes, 0-0, 0 Points, 0 Rebounds, 0 Assists

Celtics 112 Nets 84: -4
The Celtics had this one in the bag going into the 4th with a 36 point lead. Thus Scals and the rest of the bench got a lot of burn in the 4th. The bench was pointlessly outscored by 8 points to seal a 28 point victory.

Game Stats: 10 Minutes, 1-3, 5 Points, 0 Rebounds, 1 Assist, 1 Block

Celtics 91 Bulls 81: DNP
Scals first Coach's DNP of the season. The Energy Beacon is down for a night and Doc apparently is shifting his trust to the younger guys on the bench.

Game Stats: Coach's DNP

Overall Week Performance: -7
The first negative week of the season, I'm shocked it took 6 weeks for the negative to occur but I would expect a few more coming the remainer of the season as Scals seems to only be getting burn when the game is all but over and KG, Pierce and Allen are resting on the bench.

Week Stats: 35 Minutes, 1-3, 5 Points, 0 Rebounds, 1 Assist, 1 Block

Overall Season Performance: +37
Scals first negative week of brought the +/- back down to the thirties but with his vastly decreasing pt it will be amazing if he struggles enough to ever go back to par for the course.

Season Stats:11 MPG, .349 FG%, 2.5 PPG, 1.7 RPG, 0.9 APG

Everyone seems to be so inclined to praise Jesus when things are going well. Does Jesus not exist when shit hits the fan? That's what Great Moments in Praising Jesus are for.

Once again a Quick Hitters Version. Each # is associated to a person, place or thing. The entire Rebus is set under a given theme. Post the answers in the comments for both each entry and the theme. Have at it.

Now that College Football is over you clowns probably need something to waste your time on.

Another month down in 2007 and there were plenty of scum bags to choose from. Here are your voting options for the month. Week 1, Scott Boras - A pretty easy candidate selection for this week. The man has no respect for anything. Regardless of who leaked what to the press, he's the one that sent the text messages and the voice mails saying Arod opted out during the final game of the World Series. And then to top it off you give some meaningless excuse to why he opted out and then the next day say you regret doing it during the Series. Shut up. Week 2, Don Shula - Whine Whine Whine Whine Whine. I think that's all that was coming out of elderly Don's mouth this weekend. He just seems like an old bitter man right now. He bitched and moaned last year when his son got canned at Alabama and now he obviously wants an asterisk whether he comes out and says it or not. Week 3, Milana Dravnel - So if you were a prostitute, or escort, or just general slutty woman and you dressed up a professional boxer in drag and took photographs of him and eventually published these embarrassing photos online for all to see and ridicule what would then be the next step. Suing for defamation of course because by Oscar saying those photos weren't real he was calling you a liar. Only in America. Week 4, The New York Knicks - Way to open up your mouth Q and challenge the best team in the NBA as says the current standings. You were right that the 'Big 3' have yet to win any titles, very observant of you. What you forgot is that by making a dumb ass quote like that you would give them that much more motivation to lay the hammer down on you. You're just lucky that Nate Robinson can hit flying buzzer beating half court shots so that you didn't set an all time New York Knick ineptitude record. Get Your Vote On Last Months Winner: Stan Vaughn

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Get your Pittsburgh D Brand cheese, the sweetest tasting cheese available in New England. Just listen to some of the testimonials from the New England Patriots:

"I don't need no stinkin hole to catch the ball normally, but with the Pitt D Brand Cheese Block they let me get the easiest 63 yard touchdown of my life." Randy Moss

"I spent the entire second half in the hole in the middle and I even caught a touchdown while in one of the largest holes." Wes Welker

"If I could have a hundred and twenty two yards receiving on the Pitt D Brand Cheese than so can you." Jabar Gaffney

Even Tom Brady Endorses it: "While eating up the Pittsburgh D Brand Cheese I threw for the second most passing yards in my career. I would recommend Pitt D Brand Cheese to the rest of the quarterbacks in the NFL."

Although Bill Belichick was less enthused: "Pitt D Brand Cheese is a good cheese block and doesn't have that many holes. I just thought we executed well and took advantage of the few holes they have in their quality block of cheese."

Maybe you should get a bit more height on that stool before you try to paralyze yourself again.

Another week of ugh. Perhaps I'll fall below .500 this week.


5. San Diego (-1 1/2) at Tennessee Titans
Again I'm a glutton for punishment and will continue to pick the lightning bolts for some reason or another. Maybe they're back to their 2006 form and won't let me down.

4. Dallas Cowboys (-10 1/2) at Detroit Lions
This is probably a very risky pick, considering the Lions could put up 30 in any game, but man their defense just completely blows and the Cowboys are easily going to put up 35 points in this game. So lets hope Kitna gets shut down.

3. New York Jets (+3 1/2) vs. Cleveland Browns
What I won with them last week I can't ride the miserable Mangini train for the second week in a row? I would like the Jets to draft Glenn Dorsey so the Jets will sensibly win a couple of games down the stretch to push them to far down the list to get him.

2. Miami Dolphins (+7 1/2) at Buffalo Bills
If not this week than when are the Dolphins going to win? Yes they completely suck, but come on Buffalo isn't very good either.

1. New Orleans Saints(-4 1/2) at Atlanta Falcons
The Saints are fighting for their playoffs lives against the Chris Redman led Atlanta Falcons. Maybe Reggie Bush will stop being a useless douche this weekend and finally do something good.

Survivor League Pick: Death to Norv Chargers

Going with another relatively easy choice this week after the balls to the walls pick last week. Going with the Jaguars vs. the pathetic Panthers.

Non-Spread Picks

Back to the scumbags of the world this week which consists of a lot of masterbation, some cross dressing and everyones favorite (least) sportscaster. 1. Ashley Young - Masterbating in front of a Webcam? Seriously dude? This is what you do before your games to get you pumped up? What the hell is wrong with you, did you not think that someone was going to see this and leak it to the British press especially considering how in love with tabloid news the Brits are? You're an idiot. 2. Bartholomew McInerney - Speaking of masterbation, what kid of dude wants to watch kids on his baseball team fondle themselves on video in front of him. Well thats Bartholomew and he should be repeatedly kicked in the groin is what I say. What a sick perverted dude. 3. John Maine Impersonator - First off why in the world would you be impersonating John Maine? He's A) a goofy looking dude and B) Not that big of a name drop. Next trying on woman's dresses? Seriously I hope John Maine finds you and fires a fastball into your throat, granted the fastball won't be very fast but still right in the throat. 4. Stephen A. Smith - Yes Stephen my blog and all other blogs should be shut down because we lack credibility and credentials and I haven't worked hard at journalism school. But at the very least I wasn't voted the least favorite sportscaster in America like you, and unlike some of your coworkers I don't break inaccurate stories to the country like Les Miles is going to accept the coaching job at Michigan or Eli Manning is out for atleast a month, when he plays the next week. Get Your Vote On Last Weeks Winner: The New York Knicks

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Everyone needs something to keep them occupied on Friday afternoons so the Friday Video Blowout was born. Spend your next few minutes, laughing, crying of laughter, pissing your self, whatever, but mostly wasting your companies time.

FanIQ, Sport Pie, Me, Fanhouse, With Leather, Duece of Davenport, CO-ED Magazine, CollegeGameBalls, DC Sports Bog, 100% IR

Even Lou can't save the Knicks...


Who says soccer is for pussies... Apparently the the official, that yellow card was lame.


Who does he think he is? Jackie Chan?


Shelley Duncan is the man.


I think the soccer field I played on as a kid was a missile silo, is that worse or better?


Good for you Rog...


Um he should replace all those John Mellencamp ads.

~Busy at work again today so the posts are limited, but whatever I spent way too much time on the NBA post last night so just read that a few times and stop your bitching.

~SI Hot Clicks and TrueHoop even linked up that post so maybe it was worth foregoing finishing my homework, which is due this evening which I have to finish sometime in the next few hours, to do. Might even make enough to get me a pint of Newcastle this weekend.

~Yet another thursday night game, I'll try to get the picks out later today but doubt I will have time, so the pick is Chicago to cover and win. They're getting 3 points for some reason.

~I have not posted on the Heisman yet this season and mostly because if you don't vote for Tim Tebow you're an idiot. He should runaway with this thing. He has 50 god damn touchdowns and is the entire Gator offense.

~The Big Ten is lame and is killing a blog because of copyright infringement. They should get the copyrights for Weak 11 cause the whole conference blows.

~Nondescript cornerbacks should not guarantee victories when playing against an undefeated team. He should be laughed at and ridiculed by Patriots players if they do in fact beat the Steelers on Sunday. He however should not be applauded if the Steelers win, cause chances are he wouldn't have played a big roll in the victory.

~The Tigers might already be trying to trade Dontrelle Willis which is not very surprising but kind of humorous. They've started talking to the Mets who the Marlins refused to trade Willis to. Pretty funny.

~Andruw Jones getting 18 million a year is a bit ridiculous considering his average and number of Ks was practically identical last season.

~So much for the Sox deal with the Twins being all but done. Stupid ESPN and their rumors.

~The Dolphins better win this weekend against the Bills. This is probably their best chance as the Bills aren't that good.

~Jason Kidd apparently just skipped out on the game last night cause he 'caught' a cold. What a bitch. I've always disliked that guy and his stupid free throw kiss. They lost to the Knicks because of this.

~Go look at Krik Hinrich's stats. What happened to the birdman? He sucks.

~That featured comment stuff on ESPN.com is really dumb.

All these people that keep on saying why is Bedard or why is Haren on the market are missing the point of what a market is. Everyone is on the market for the right price. Bedard and Haren's value for a trade will never be higher than it is right now. Both are moderately underpaid both had fantastic seasons which fell just short of the Cy Young and both are in the primes of their careers.

Do the Orioles or the A's necessarily want to trade either? Probably not, but there is no harm in putting them out there to see what you can get. Neither the Orioles or the A's are particularly structured to get it done next season. So why not see if they can build for the future?

Just look at the Orioles for a moment. They have one young position player that could grow into an all star in Nick Markakis. Other than that there's nobody on the roster that you think will be anything special. So what exactly is Bedard going to give them in the next two seasons? A few spectacular but meaningless seasons where his record is the difference between 65 and 75 wins? Who cares.

The Marlins just brought in two of the top prospects in all of baseball plus four additional players for one great player that they were going to lose in two years anyway. They capitalized at the precise moment when their largest chip, Miguel Cabrera, was at his highest value and got fair value for him. So if the A's don't think they have any chance in signing Dan Haren in the 09-10 offseason and believe that they can get multiple assets for that will greatly improve their chances of winning in the future than why not?

The Orioles have already rejected a deal from the Mets that would have included Carlos Gomez, Phil Humber and Aaron Heilman for Bedard. That's about the best offer the Mets could give and the Orioles rejected it. They don't want to trade Bedard, but if somebody blows them out of the water in their discussions than they should make the deal. And that's why it's called a market, everyone is available and everyg has a price.

Everyone seems to be so obsessed with creating the best of the best. Whether it be ESPN creating the ideal tennis player or Cameltap creating the hottest woman it's all about creating the best of the best. Well it's time someone does the opposite, and create the worst of the worst.

THE BRAIN

Worst Decision Maker: Ron Artest, you could take this as worst decision maker on the court, but I took it as who I would least want to be running my mind. And Ron Artest is a runaway victor there. Having him make any decision would be very scary. Although his hairstyle may be better than the one chosen.

Best Tanker: Vince Carter, No one is quite as good as shutting it down as Vince Carter. If Vince wants to play like garbage to force a trade he will. No hoopster on the planet is better than Vince with the On/Off switch.

Least Coachable: Ricky Davis, Stephon Marbury could be a possibility here but Ricky Davis gets traded like nobody else and he attempted to give himself a triple double by throwing it off his own backboard. Classic move.

THE BODY

Worst Shot: Ben Wallace, Big Ben blows everyone out of the water with his inability to get anything outside of

Least Touch: Kendrick Perkins, another one could go to Shaq here, but Perkins can't hit any shot other than a layup or dunk. He's got zero touch with the basketball.

Worst Ballhandler: Dwight Howard, Dwight Howard is an absolute beast and gets a lot of touches, but he's third in the league in turnovers and doesn't nearly come close to the amount of control of the ball as the point guards he's surrounded by on the list. His assist to turnover ratio is .41.

Weakest: Kevin Durant, he can't bench press 185 pounds...

Worst Endurance: November Shaq, Shaq may get himself worked up and in shape come playoff time, but at this point in his career he is just one out of shape nbaer in the first month of the season.

Worst Defense: Eddy Curry, Curry is a beast on offense but he has zero ability to guard anybody at any point in time.

Most Brittle: Grant Hill, Another easy one. Grant's body goes down every single season, it's only a matter of time before the knees give out.

Least Athletic: Brian Scalabrine, there's probably someone out there less athletic than him. But whatever he had to be included as he's such a legend on this here site.

Slowest: Yao Ming, so what if he's 7 foot 6. It takes the guy forever to get up and down the court.

Ugliest: Sam Cassell, gotta have atleast one superficial category in this player. And Sam Cassell narrowly defeats Chris Kaman for the ugly award as he is the product of fish-alien sex.

Worst Hair: Chris Kaman, whatever the hair needed inclusion.

And finally...

Height: Earl Boykins, Many of the players featured here are able to overcome their defaults because of their size or athleticism or strength. But if you give this bad player the height of Earl Boykins, than they won't be good enough to make your High School's JV team.

Much was made last week about terrible NBAer Marko Jaric dating the very easy on the eyes Brazilian and Victoria Secret Model Adriana Lima. And really understandably so, I mean look at her and then look at him. He's just a goofy looking Eurpoean with some poor facial hair that plays for the worst team in the league. He's certainly no Tom Brady, in looks, championships, well anything. And yet he's dating the #4 most desirable woman in the world. I mean if he can do it than perhaps he should be a hero for all averagely talented not so good looking men out there.

But with news like this of course there must be something to take the luster off. And of course there is. Apparently Lima prides herself on being a virgin and says that she is waiting until marriage, thus making her the hottest virgin on the planet. So to manipulate one of the great third person quoters of all-time, maybe it is not Lima time as I apparently the only thing Jaric is hitting is the occasional meaningless jumpshot.

Perhaps another ugly European can pull Marisa Miller, she's hotter anyway.

Last year as a Jet fan I was thrilled with the team, 10 wins and a playoff run coming off a miserable season, who would have seen that coming. But at the end of the season most were stating that the Jets were a product of their poor schedule and after their poor performance this season the criticism was probably justified. This year it's about time that everyone realizes that the Bucs are this years version of last years Jets. They aren't really good, they are simply a product of one of the worst schedules in the NFL and will win their division much like the Jets one the wildcard because of this. Let's do a quick comparison of the two teams schedules.

The 2007 Tampa Bay Bucs and the 2006 New York Jets both defeated only one team who had a record above .500. The New York Jets defeated the highly banged up New England Patriots while the Bucs defeated the Tennessee Titans in a game which Vince Young was knocked out of. Neither victory is particularly impressive, but atleast the Jets won on the road. Both teams had mixed results against teams that were/are exactly .500. The Jets defeated the Green Bay Packers and Tennessee Titans but were crushed against the Jacksonville Jaguars, while the Bucs have defeated the Cardinals but were defeated by the Detroit Lions. Both teams only faced three teams the entire season that were above hundred .500 and with the Bucs finishing off the season against teams that all sit at 5-7 or below chances are high that they will not add someone to that last.

The moral of this story is that sometimes the schedule of the NFL is as much an influence to a teams record as their actual ability. Credit this years Bucs and last years Jets for beating the teams that they should, but neither are/were particularly good football teams. And much like the Jets fate last year, the Bucs should expect an early exit this postseason.

All this talk about Johan Santana and discussion about the Cabrera to Angels deal being dead but absolutely no talk about the Tigers getting into the mix. What's the point in watching ESPN really if they just give you a bunch of rumors that don't happen and don't have any whispers of trades that actually go down?

Here's the thing that might be overlooked a bit in this deal. Dontrelle Willis and Miguel Cabrera feel like they've been around forever, but in reality they both are still pretty young. Miguel Cabrera is only 24 and Dontrelle Willis is only 25. Neither has hit their 'prime' baseball years. Both will join the Tigers and have an immediate impact. Willis sucked last year, plain and simple sucked, but only 3 seasons ago he had a 2.63 ERA and 2 years ago had a mid 3 era. If he can straighten himself out a top three of Verlander, Bonderman and Willis could be very imposing. The addition of Cabrera meanwhile makes the Tigers lineup scary good. Last year their lineup was one of the best in the AL, especially when Sheffield was healthy, now substitute Cabrera and Edgar Renteria in for Brandon Inge and Sean Casey and you have a lineup top to bottom which rivals the Yankees and the Sox.

The reality of this is, the Marlins do not want to shell out big contracts and Cabrera is going to require yacht loads of cash and if Willis can get healthy and start hitting low 90s with his fastball again he will also get a decent chunk of change. So if you're not going to pay Cabrera 20 million a year, which he will get, than they were right in what they did. Andrew Miller was a first round draft pick who many thought was the #1 talent in the 2006 draft. Meanwhile Cameron Maybin is a potential 5 tool stud who was in the top ten in all prospect lists coming into the 2007 season and even made a pit stop in the bigs the last two months. All of the other prospects they got in this trade are just icing on the cake. The Marlins weren't going to win in 2008 with Cabrera and Willis, so why try, why not bring in as much young talent for the two players you know you aren't going to hold onto. This is why the Marlins have two World Series titles while the Royals and other crappy teams do not. The Marlins don't go out and bring in dumb free agents, ala the Royals signing Jose Guillen for 3 years 36 million, and when they have players they can't afford they go out and get premium talent for them. For instance, Josh Beckett was great for the Sox and so was Mike Lowell, but Hanley Ramirez might be the best shortstop in baseball already. The Marlins are good at this sort of thing, asking them to have a minimum salary floor is just asking them to make dumb free agent moves they shouldn't.

Two random thoughts about this trade. I'm disappointed Dontrelle won't be hitting any more as his batting numbers last season were better than his pitching numbers. And fantasy wise I'm pumped by this trade. Cameron Maybin is one of my minor leaguers and he almost assuredly will slot into their centerfield slot next season, which means I could use my last round pick in my draft to call him up. Woo.

It's now the first week of December and since College Football is done and the Jets are all but out of it, I decided to check in on the Michigan Wolverines hoops squad to see if they were perhaps going to not suck this season, and what I saw was almost unbelievable. Michigan sits at 3-5 after losing their third consecutive game over the weekend, but that doesn't nearly tell the whole story. The Wolverines lost to Harvard a bad 4-4 Ivy League school team who opened the season with a 55 point loss to Stanford and is coached by someone who they should be very familiar with... The very same coach they shitcanned earlier this year, Tommy Amaker.


Are you serious, an Ivy League school with a 5 white starters, an asian kid coming off the bench, and a Chris Klein look-a-like? The Wolverines are so bad this season that they couldn't muster up enough motivation to beat their old coach who has a roster of non-scholarship players. To top it all off they lost by double digits. That's just downright embarrassing.


I was all for both the Amaker axing and the Beilein hiring but damn John how about you fire up the troops. Certainly Tommy didn't leave the cupboard more barren than the squad he picked up at Harvard. Certainly you can do better than losing to a .500 Ivy League School right?

What am I missing here? The Twins don't want Hughes and Cabrera, but they want Crisp and Lester. I could argue that Hughes is better than Lester but I'll save that for another time, but the fact that Coco Crisp sucks is evident. He's hit in the .260s the past two seasons for the Red Sox, he's already 28 so he's not a burgeoning prospect, he's overpaid and the Red Sox benched him in the World Series.

The Red Sox have no place for Coco Crisp and are probably happy to include him in any deal. He shouldn't up the value of any deal at all he should probably bring down the value because he's vastly overpaid. If you're the Twins and you demand Kennedy, Hughes and Cabrera I just don't get how you settle for Coco, Lester and Justin Masterson a mid 4 ERA A-AA ball pitcher. Doesn't make much sense.

We are now 3/4 through the NFL season and typically there would be some exciting races in the NFL down the stretch run. But not in 2007, instead almost all of the division winners in Pro Football are locked in. And that's pretty boring. Here's a quick rundown of the divisions and how locked up they are.

AFC East: The Pats already won the division. You don't get much more locked up than that.

NFC North: The Packers have a 4 game lead over both the Lions and Vikings. They swept the Vikings so they are out. If the Lions run the table and the Packers lose all of their games than the Lions would win the division as they would have split and the Lions would hold a better division record.

NFC East: The Cowboys hold a 3 game lead over the Giants in the division and swept the Giants this season, thus the Giants only win the division if they win their remaining 4 games, including a matchup with the Pats, and the Cowboys lose their final 4 games.

NFC South: Tampa Bay holds a 3 game lead over both the Panthers and the Saints and the Bucs have a 4-0 division record. In order for either the Panthers or the Saints to win the division, they would need to win out and have the Bucs lose their final 4 games.

AFC South: The Colts hold a 2+ game lead over the Jaguars after their win this past Sunday. The Colts are 4-0 in the division including a sweep over the Jaguars. The Colts magic number is 2 and with games against the Raiders and Texans it's almost unfathomable for the Colts to drop 3 games the remainder of the season.

AFC North: Pittsburgh holds a 2+ game lead over the Cleveland Browns. The Steelers are currently 5-0 in the division including a sweep of the Browns and thus the Steelers magic number for the AFC North is 2. With the Rams and Ravens on the schedule for the Steelers and the Browns being the Browns its difficult to imagine the Steelers losing out on the division.

NFC West: The Seahawks currently hold a 2+ game lead over the Arizona Cardinals while the other misfits have been eliminated. If the Seahawks defeat the Cardinals at home this weekend they clinch the division if the Cardinals win they cut the gap to 1 but still have a massive uphill climb. In just about any situation a tie between the two teams will go to the Seahawks as they would end up tied in head to head, division record, but the Seahawks currently have a 7-2 conference record to the 3-5 conference record of the Cardinals. Thus if Seattle was to win a game it would be in the benifit of the Cardinals if that win came against the Ravens. Either way the Seahawks simply need to win 2 of their games the remainder of the season of which two come against the Panthers and Atlanta. Meanwhile the Cards still have a game at New Orleans which could be tricky.

AFC West: Finally the only division where no team has been completely eliminated, well atleast for this week. Any loss by the Chiefs or win by the Chargers knocks out Herm's boys. The Raiders are in slightly better standing then the Chiefs as they beat the Chargers already and if they finished tied would overcome the Chargers, so they're magic number for elimination is 2. Denver sits two back of the Chargers and could win a tie breaker with them if they defeat them in San Diego. The Broncos have two favorable games, the Chiefs at home and at Houston and will need to win both of those games. The Chargers meanwhile have games at Tennessee, should be tough, the dissolving Detroit Lions at home and the Raiders in Oakland. The Broncos are the NFL's best opportunity at a Division race and it could essentially be ended this weekend.

Wow You Guys Suck: Detroit Lions, 6-2. That's what you were a month ago. Now you sit 6-6 and tied for the last playoff spot with a much harder remaining schedule than either the Vikings or Cards. Additionally Roy Williams is out for 4 weeks. Essentially, they went from a shoe-in to out for good. Runners Up: the Pussified Officiating Crew Last night, the Dolphins which comes as no surprise.

This Scarecrow Needs a Brain: Joe Gibbs, It's been a very very long week for Joe Gibbs and his Washington Redskins but there is no excuse for being around the league for longer than I've been alive and not knowing that you can't call back to back timeouts. That killed your team, and you admitted it afterward. Runners Up: Sean Payton calling the fumbled reverse, .

Cough Cough Cough: AJ Feeley, Now there's the AJ Feeley we all know. Multiple interceptions including the nail in the coffin when the Eagles were driving into the red zone in the final minutes with a chance to win the game. Runners Up: The Bears made the Eli look clutch, David Garrard throws his first interception in the 4th quarter in the red zone.

The Shocker: Oakland Raiders, Maybe I'm just reluctant to admit that the Broncos are completely overrated, but I did not see the Raiders beating the them this weekend. And in reality the Raiders really beat them twice this season and it would have counted on the standings as so if not for that last second timeout that wiped out Janikowski's first fg attempt in game 1. Runners Up: Minnesota's complete dominance, Baltimore being competitive.

The Pimp: Tony Romo, Every week I wait for Tony Romo to show some sign of why he went undrafted and with the exception of the Buffalo game there hasn't been one. He came out hitting everybody against the Packers and has the Cowboys playing like the obvious 2nd best team in the NFL. Runners Up: Purple Jesus is back and he doesn't need 20+ carries to dominate, LDT was finally given the ball a lot by Norv the dumb ass.

You Got JAKKED UP: Donte Stallworth, was knocked out by epilepsy.

My Fantasy Anti-MVP: Jay Cutler, I had a slim chance to make the playoffs in my 2nd league and it was quickly brought down by Jay Cutler on Sunday afternoon when he put up another shitty performance. Twas a very very bad draft pick and another one of those times where I shouldn't have brought out the well I drafted the other guy in the other league so let's change it up a bit. Else I would have Big Ben in both leagues and probably be in the playoffs.

New York Jets MVP: Miami, Really Miami just sucks so bad on offense that they made the Jets defense look dominate. The Dolphins are a joke.

My Picks

My Picks: 9-7
Preseason Picks: 9-7
Picks Vs. Spread: 8-8

Mediocre, that is all.

This season the NBA has listened to one of my many thoughts and has started to track a players +/- during the course of individual games. Due to my dislike of Brian Scalabrine, I am going to track the severely overpaid redhead in a weekly post called The Scalabrine Watch.

Celtics 104 Cavaliers 109: +5
The Cs second loss of the season was dominated by Lebron James who Scalabrine failed to shut down during his five minutes of action... but he still put up a +5 in the loss.

Game Stats: 5 Minutes, 1-1, 2 Points, 1 Rebound, 1 Assist, 1 Block

Celtics 104 Knicks 59: +5
He gets a +5 in a five point loss, and he gets a plus 5 in a 45 point win? Um ya, I don't get it.

Game Stats: 22 Minutes, 1-4, 3 Points, 3 Rebounds, 2 Assists

Celtics 95 Heat 85: +9
6 minutes and a plus 9 is pretty damn good for Scals. He must not have played much during the 4th quarter when the Celtics decided they wanted to let the 30 point lead trickle down to a single digit deficit.

Game Stats: 6 Minutes, 1-2, 3 Points, 1 Rebound, 0 Assists

Celtics 80 Cavaliers 70: -13
Scals matched his season high positive with his season high negative of -13 in this game. It could have been that one missed field goal attempt that brought the team down.

Game Stats: 8 Minutes, 0-1, 0 Points, 3 Rebounds, 0 Assists

Overall Week Performance: +6
Scals got big minutes for once this season, I guess that's what happens when your team wins by 40, and he put up some odd +/-s. +5 in a 5 point loss to the Cavs, but -13 in a ten point win? Befuddling.

Week Stats: 41 Minutes, 3-8, 8 Points, 8 Rebounds, 3 Assists

Overall Season Performance: +44
Still despite the one miserable +/- showing Scals puts up another positive week, and improved his output from last week. He still pretty much does nothing of note while on the court, but he thus far has not brought down the team.

Season Stats:12 MPG, .350 FG%, 2.5 PPG, 1.9 RPG, .9 APG

This past summer when the Celtics traded for KG, I was on of the very few who didn't like the deal. I mostly didn't like how my favorite player on the franchise was getting shipped off for a much older, but better player. After the first month of the season it certainly seems as if I was wrong, but I'm going to wait atleast a bit longer before I admit full defeat and bow down to Danny Ainge.

Well now only a few months later while the Yankees are rumored to be the frontrunners to land Johan, I again feel like mister trade negativity. Is Johan the best pitcher in baseball? Most likely. Would I like him on the Yankees? Surely. Do I want the Yankees to give up multiple top prospects so that they can sign him to the richest pitching deal in the history of baseball? Absolutely not.

While what the Yankees are rumored to have to give up to obtain Johan are far ranging I just don't like any of it. So far I've seen anywhere from as little as Hughes, Cabrera, and a prospect to Hughes, Kennedy, Cano and Cabrera (credit Simmons on that ludicrous one). While the first low ball offer, which probably won't get the deal done, I still don't like it.

I could search for numbers but I honestly don't feel like it. If you watched the Red Sox win the World Series last year you should know the value their rookies and youth had on the team. Melky brings some excitement and joy to an otherwise old roster and Hughes just a season ago was the #1 prospect in baseball. They could be valuable pieces for the Yankees for a long time.

I'm not going to make a case that the trade is bad for the Yankees baseball wise either, it's just lame. I want the Yankees to win, but eventually you get sick of buying everybody else's talent and taking advantage of small market teams. Right now the Yankees roster is littered with people that came through their system. Going out and buying the best pitcher of baseball because another team can't afford him just limits some of the connection I would feel with the team.

To sum up it up, I'm not going to be pissed if the Yanks make this deal, mostly because I am not as attached to any of these players as I was to Big Al, but I'd prefer the Yanks just go out and suit up the youth for a change.

Lloyd Carr has his nightmare in front of him and thy name is Tim Tebow.

What have been the Wolverines downfall over the latter stages of Lloyd Carr's tenure? The countless losses in the big games and an inability to stifle athletic quarterbacks in the spread offense. If ever there was a team that was built to rain destruction on the Wolverines defense it is the Meyer spread with Tim Tebow at the helm.

Well after the inclusion of Illinois into the Rose Bowl, the dear folks at the Capital One Bowl have decided to give Lloyd a just send off and have pitted the Wolverines against the Florida Gators. All signs point to Lloyd's defense getting throttled and him ending his Michigan career on 4 straight losses to Ohio St. and 5 straight losses in a Bowl Game.

Ironically Michigan's last bowl win was against a Sex Cannon led Florida in the 2003 Outback bowl.

Once again a Quick Hitters Version. Each # is associated to a person, place or thing. The entire Rebus is set under a given theme. Post the answers in the comments for both each entry and the theme. Have at it.

Remember this is all about Quality Wins and Bad Losses so if you hold the best out of conference win in the country and play in a far superior conference you just might have an advantage in the rankings despite an extra loss or two.

1. Louisiana State -I've had LSU at the top of the polls for now 10 of the 13 weeks this season. And I truly think that they deserved above all teams to play in the title game. They played in the toughest conference, won the title game without many of their key players, and have the best out of conference win in the country. Quality Wins: VaTech, Florida, Auburn, Miss St., Tennessee(n)

2. Oklahoma - They lost one game cause their QB got knocked out, and they lost one on the road, which was a bad loss. But they knocked off Missouri twice and killed them on a neutral field. They are better than Ohio St. this year.Quality Wins: Texas(n), Missouri, Missouri(n) Bad Loss: Colorado

3. Georgia - Mark Richt should not complain for a second about not going to the BCS title game. They never should have been ranked in front of LSU in the first place. Enjoy what should be an easy win in the Sugar bowl. Quality Wins: (n)Florida, Troy, Auburn, Kentucky, @GT Bad Loss: South Carolina

4. Missouri -Losing to Oklahoma twice isn't exactly a shame. I didn't see Ohio St. beating Oklahoma this season either. Perhaps there is a bit of a bias coming from me right now, but Mizzou beat Illinois and only lost an extra game because they had to play an extra game. Meanwhile Ohio St. lost to Illinois at home. And while the Big 12 is poor the Big 10 is probably a tad worse. Quality Wins: @Illinois, Texas Tech, Kansas(n)

5. Ohio St. - I can't argue with them in the title game. I understand why they are there. I just think that people just don't get that the Big 10 has done nothing to show it's worthy of a top 2 team this season.Quality Wins: @Penn St., Wisconsin, @Michigan

6. Virginia Tech - Tech played poorly in the 1st half but somehow managed to wind up tied. Then in the 2nd half they put the finishing touches on their revenge against the Eagles. Tech had a great finish to the season but they were justly left out of the title game as the ACC isn't exactly a robust league this year either. Quality Wins: @Clemson, FSU, @UVA, GT, BC(n)

7. West Virginia -Pat White is a little weiner. Ooh my thumb hurts take me out coach I can't hold the ball with my non throwing hand. Do not compare Pat White with Dennis Dixon, Dixon is both better and vastly tougher. Quality Wins: @Cincy, @Rutgers, Miss St., UConn Bad Loss: Pitt

8. Boston College - Matt Ryan played very well this weekend but Tom O'Brien has to be chuckling in North Carolina for atleast a second. BC was only a play here or there away from the BCS, but instead because their fan base blows they're playing in the illustrious Champs Sports Bowl. Woo.Quality Wins: Wake Forest, @VT, @Clemson, GT Bad Loss: Maryland

9. Florida - Tim Tebow will be picking up his trophy on Saturday and will be enjoying a highly productive January 1st which will be the subject of a post soon enough. Quality Wins: Troy, Tennessee, @Kentucky, FSU

10. Tennessee - Losing in the conference championship game really isn't a bad thing. It just means you made it and had to play a very good team. Plus if dumb ass Erik Ainge decided to throw the in route instead of the out route the Vols would have won, as LSU's offense was dead with Perriloux's bleeding hand. Quality Wins: UGA, @Miss St., Arkansas, @Kentucky Bad Loss: South Carolina

11. Illinois - The Zookers got that coveted trip to Pasadena for which they will be rewarded by getting their asses handed to them by the Trojans. Quality Wins: Penn St., Wisconsin, @Ohio St. Bad Loss: @Iowa

Dropped Out: Nobody

Noticeable Absences: Kansas has the 11th worst schedule in college football, thus why they have one loss. Hawaii has beaten Boise St. that's it. USC beat Arizona St. and Oregon St. but the loss to Stanford is really damning and apparently the Pac 10 was vastly overrated early this season, only 4 teams finished over .500.

Previous Weeks: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

(n) = neutral field

1. I don't know if I should shoot myself in the had now or take it out on the crowd?
2. I can't hear you or my brain is not working, the decision is yours.
3. Wait where's the Cotton bowl again? Is it that a way?








1. Darn those tricky 20 yard field goals.
2. Wanny tricked me Wanny tricked me booo.
3. I'm dropping a deuce on the field...






1. As you can see here Dennis Dixon is modeling Oregon's 44th alternate road jersey, jeans and a black sweatshirt.
2. So, apparently I'm the MVP, cause without me we suck a lot.
3. Just look at that ass clown below me, we lost to them, without me, need I say more?







1. This is my best life size photo ever, don't I look perty?
2. I've got some sweet buck teef just like the jackass on the blanket.
3. Ha I'm a beaver.









1. We're gonna look like complete tools when we're not hanging out together.
2. That's why we're going to hold hands the entire game.
3. Perhaps there will be enough of Chase Daniel's tears to wash off your paint post game.



"John John John, can you please sign my son? Ya the neck is fine. Can you make it out to Steph your number one MILF love Booty the MILF Hunter. You are the absolute greatest John. Thank you so much, my son will cherish this for a life time."






1. I should have drank Keystone Light, the never bitter beer face.
2. Kirk Herbstreit makes me very sad
3. I love my white running back.









1. Woo we're going to the Meineke Car Care GMC back woods no one cares bowl. Woooooo.
2. This is what we do for powerlifts at our school, we call it deadlift the white guy.
3. This game was so great, ESPN didn't even send broadcasters to it.







1. And now for my next performance I will juggle three exploding oranges.
2. I shall give these three oranges to Mangino before the game in hopes that he doesn't bite me.
3. I shall juice these when I get home.




1. Atleast I have my cousin to console and sleep with me.
2. I guess now we atleast don't have to pay for electricity on January 7th.
3. If it was a brawl you would think our Quarterback would have tried to sack it up with a bruised thumb or not.




1. My thumbs hurts reals bad.
2. Me gonna cry tonight after our loss.
3. No more Heisman talk for me...






1. My next profession will be professional bare handed boar hunting.
2. Our only hope of beating Georgia is bringing spears to the game.
3. Our graduation rate is the lowest of all BCS schools, I wonder why?





1. "I love me the Army football program, very strong powerful program who can win in any situation."
2. "Perhaps I backed the wrong Service Academy?"
3. I wonder wear those fingers were a few minutes ago?




1. Gauging my eyes out right now, leave a message after the beep.
2. I can't look, did Oklahoma score again?
3. We're not even going to a BCS game? I better take out my eyes before Mangino eats them.

Now that the shit hit the fan and both Mizzou and WVU lost yesterday there will be much debate over who will join Ohio St. in the National Championship game. So it's time to make a case for every single team.

Hawaii - We're undefeated. Have you noticed that zero next to our record, it means we haven't lost to anybody yet. So while you see a massive 2 next to everyone else you're considering you should notice that the zero is much much prettier and much more used to being in the title game.

LSU - We're the best team in the country. Everybody's been saying that the entire season. Plus do you really think we would have lost to Arkansas if those Bastards from Auburn didn't blow up Dorsey's knee. We just won the best conference in the country and in doing so we won without Dorsey, Flynn and for half the game Doucet. That's how good we are. Plus we have yet to lose in regulation this year, which really is like 2 ties. And if we were 11-0-2 we'd be in the game and ranked #1.

VaTech - We're the feel good story. We perceivered for our university after a tragedy. Wouldn't it be a storybook ending if we won the national championship for our community. And really if we just shut down Ryan for 6 minutes we would be there. And look past that LSU loss it was the 2nd week of the season and we hadn't gelled yet as a unit, and we're playing much better than them now.

Georgia - Who's hotter than us? Nobody. We haven't lost since our trip to Rocky Top and that was straight luck. Since then we've been dominating the SEC, to the tune of you guys ranking us 4th in the country. Why should we be jumped simply because UT won a stupid tie breaker with us and not allowing us to dominate LSU in the SEC title game.

USC - We have the most talent in the country, everybody knows this. We lost to Stanford cause Booty was playing with a broken hand. And we lost to Oregon cause they were the best team in the country when Dixon was healthy we were on the road and we were forced to play Dirty Sanchez cause Booty was still hurt. And we only lost by 7. Now we're back on track and crushing people every week. No one wants us in the title game because we're more talented than them.

Oklahoma - You watch last night? We played the #1 team in the country voted by you. And we tooled on them for the second time this year. Sure we had a stumble against Colorado, but do you think we would have lost to TT if Sam Bradford didn't get knocked out. I don't think so. We're a powerhouse every year, our QB is playing lights out and we had one stumble which is better than most teams can say.

Kansas - Hey over here. Don't forget about us. We just barely lost last week to Missouri and we only have 1 loss. You see all those other teams? They all have 2 losses. We play in the Big 12, we only have one loss, why should you reward these 2 loss teams instead of us. Just because we didn't play in the Big 12 title game because of a tie breaker? Come on.

Missouri - If we didn't play Oklahoma we would be undefeated? You don't want to listen to me do you? Ok, fine.

Arizona St. - I'd try to make a case, but I doubt you'd care. But we can go to the Fiesta Bowl right? You guys are ok with that right?

West Virginia - You see why we lost two games this season right? Pat White got hurt in both games. If he stayed on the field we would have won both games. Why should we be kicked out in favor of another two loss teams when they have less excuse then we do for our losses. And you all know you wanted to see the Mountaineers in the title game.