Finding a Better Token Redhead: Dead Politician Version

Thursday, February 07, 2008

As a Celtic fan you come to understand the inherent necessity of a token redhead playing in the green and white uniform. Really did anyone ever look better than Bill Walton in a Celtic Jersey? But there has to be a better option than Brian Scalabrine, and thus the new feature. Todays edition focuses on Dead Political Figure Redheads.


Winston Churchill: Not exactly the most athletic or talents option out there, but you know that he can with stand some intense bombings from the opponent.

Lenin: Want person could you possibly want more to create team unity. Lenin could profess that teams are best run when all are equals and none are given perks... Maybe that wouldn't work. But atleast you would have a Malkovich look a like.

Leon Trotsky: If you can't get the #1 Russian communist than why not get his right hand man. Plus look at the sweet fro, mustache beard combo. The man knows style.


George Washington: GW not only led the US in the Revolutionary War and was our first president but at 6' 2 the dude could dominate the paint in his era.

Dwight Eisenhower: During his time they used to call him Dr. D after he showed his tremendous balling skills in the down time. You know while he wasn't leading the US to a victory in World War II.

Ulysses S. Grant: 5'8 of Whiskey guzzlin Civil War Veteran. At the very least Ulysses would provide a little extra piss and vinegar on the Celtics bench.


Thomas Jefferson: Back in the day TJ used to man up on GW all the time. 6' 2 1/2 TJ and GW had cabinet pick up games daily. Both could dunk but only TJ could dunk with authority.

Martin Van Buren: At 5 foot 6 Martin probably won't get much burn, but in fights he could provide the Jeff Van Gundy ankle biting role.

Calvin Coolidge: Was a member of my fraternity and my fraternity dominated intramural sports in my career. Basketball wasn't one of them, but whatever Calvin is a unparralleled athlete.

Posted by Simon at 11:30 AM   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

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