Dual Sore Vaginas

Randy: Yo Tom, I heard Gisele is gettin back with Leo.

Tom: Huh?

Randy: Just playin dog. So that game sucked eh?

Tom: No shit.

Randy: You know what else is gonna suck?

Tom: What jackass?

Randy: Playin in the Pro Bowl, that shit is lame.

Tom: Hmm...

Randy: You rather go to Cabo? Get drunk on Tequila? Tony Romo said it was a good time.

Tom: Hmm... Peyton won't be there to make fun of me right?

Randy: Nope.

Tom: K I'm in.

Comments

Big Bear said…

Another banner moment for SimonOnSports........the Pats bashing has earned a filter for the blog subscription, let me know when it's safe to come out so I can turn it off. Oh yeah, and the Jets suck.

12:47 PM

Simon said…

and... clarify?

1:19 PM

Big Bear said…

The point was, I'm boycotting until the bashing ends, just like I haven't listened to the radio or watching anything but wrestling and Jeopardy on TV since Sunday.

1:22 PM

Simon said…

Ha, sack up and stop being a little pussy. Waaaa the Patriots choked after 18 weeks of we're the best team ever.

And yes the Jets suck. I know this.

And I would expect the Pats bashing to end sometime in the future.

1:26 PM

Anonymous said…

Actually 22 weeks.

16 weeks for regular season games
1 week for the regular season bye
1 week for 1st round bye
1 week for divisional game
1 week for AFC Championship
2 weeks from AFC to Super Bowl

Give credit where credit is due.

This is all Shockey's fault.

3:11 PM

Anonymous said…

I blame George Bush.

7:58 AM

Anonymous said…

simmon is a dick hole

8:02 PM

M E T S = Mercifully End The Season

Do it before David Wright gets Hurt!

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Numbers On Steroids: Mickey Mantle

Numbers on Steroids is a look at baseball players during the 90s to see if anything screams out at you. This week it's throwing a curve ball and looking at All Time Great Yankees. Players that we know did not take steroids to see if this gives a defense to any of the players 'convicted' by Numbers on Steroids. Time to look at my dad's favorite athlete of all time, Mickey Mantle. Averages Say: What's with the mysterious dip at 27 and then the uptick? At Bats Per Home Run Says: That's a mighty jump from 22 to 24 Explaining As If It Was the 90s If you take a look at the numbers there are two time frames which in the 1990s would be questioned. First would be the incredible leap he took from his first year in the big leagues to his first MVP season in 1956. His batting average jumped 50 points. His slugging percentage jumped 90 points and he hit 15 more homers than his previous high. This wouldn't merrit a conviction nowadays though because the young age he...

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Guest Post: Thoughts on Sabathia Signing

I asked Grutt what his thoughts were on the Sabathia signing and I thought his response pretty much nailed it. So here it is. I don’t know. Every year I get a little more disenchanted with baseball. Yea, it’s great we signed the top pitching free agent. But we were supposed to. No team was even in the ballpark of the Yankees offer yet they still needed to jump from the already ridiculous price of $140 million to $160 million to close the deal. Now I hear we are going to sign more pitchers who will also get large contracts and the position player gaps are still glaring. Each new, large contract just adds to the feeling that the Yanks are supposed to win it all. “I think we have a good chance this year.” That is a lost feeling. If they don’t win I’ll wonder why, like there has to be some other reason besides that it’s a sport you can never predict how things will work out and some years just aren’t yours to be won. If they win I will be pleasantly smug. It gets a little more...

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