Skip to main content

Shaqsun Emits UV Rays


I am Shaqsun, I create heat for the entire Northern Hemisphere. The reason that Arizona is a desert is because I am centrally located there.

I will give Steve Nash a tan and will evaporate all local Lakes, especially ones that are created with purple and gold. I will melt down Spurs and Nuggets and sculpt a Shaqsun figurine. I will give heat stroke to any hornets in the way. I will dehydrate any Trailblazers attempting to cross through the desert. I will sweat the accuracy out of the Mavericks pistols. I will eviscerate all Warriors that attempt to travel through the desert. The trumpets will immediately rust and decompose when in view of my light. I will explode all Rockets before launch.

It is the time of the Shaqsun. The Shaqsun will dominate all.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lou Holtz is the Homer / Annoyingly Delusional

As my buddy Joe and I always joke, if Notre Dame was suiting up against an all Jesus team, aka a team made up of 55 Sons of God, Lou Holtz would probably still pick Notre Dame to win by a touchdown. So of course this weekend when I'm watching Sportscenter and they have him and fellow old man Corso making predictions, Lou picks ND to beat Michigan. Not that big of a deal, Michigan is a big question mark this year, but of course than Lou says that Notre Dame will win 11 games this year. This is the same Notre Dame that lost to a service academy last year. And just when you thought the douchy homerism was going to end ESPN asks which BCS school is going to be the biggest surprise team in the country. Any guesses to whom it was? I'll give you a clue it was another team he coached. If you guessed South Carolina you would be a winner. Next up on Lou's prediction watch, the Jets win the Superbowl, NC St. wins the ACC, Arkansas dominates the SEC West, Minnesota wins the Big
1 comment
Continue Reading the Rest of This Fine Post

M E T S = Mercifully End The Season

Do it before David Wright gets Hurt!
185 comments
Continue Reading the Rest of This Fine Post

Ranking the New York Jets Historical Helmets

There's no way you can't go with the Helmet they won the Super Bowl in. You just can't. Next, I really don't understand why they don't where the helmet with the Jet as their throwback uniforms. That helmet is awesome. Then I'm going with the Helmets from the 80s because it's the classic feel and the white face mask is 10 times better than the black one. And the rankings continue until you get to... The Titans Helmet. I hate everything about those Titan uniforms. The Helmets are boring and the colors are GOD awful. Navy blue and Mustard? What the hell is that. Disgusting. If they wore those unis when I was a kid I'd probably be a Giant fan, and be much happier with my life in football.
Post a Comment
Continue Reading the Rest of This Fine Post