Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Every athlete who gets caught with steroids has a cockamamee reason behind their usage so I figure I might as well write my own theoretical steroids admission if I ever get caught and people want to question why I did it.
I am here today to admit the mistakes of my past. I am not proud of what I did but I did in fact use the cream and the clear during the early days of my blogging career. I apologize to all three of my readers as I know I have let you down deeply but I need to get it off my chest, it's been haunting me.
So you're probably wondering why did I do it. Why did I take performance enhancers? It obviously wasn't to improve my performance in the blog or in any of my many softball performances. Steroids obviously didn't help my grammar or intelligence which is in a steep decline. It wasn't because I want to stay healthy during the blogs early life. My fingers were strong my mind was meh but steroids did not help me there. It wasn't because GMC slipped a mickee in my products, I don't shop there. I've never met Miguel Tejada so he's never stuck a "B12" shot in my ass.
Simply put I took Steroids for the taste and smell. I got Cherry flavored clear and that shit was bangin. Damn it was delicious. Seriously I used to put that shit on everything. A pork chop. Some ice cream. My cereal. You couldn't beat it. But seriously that's the only reason behind the steroid use. It didn't help me in any manor except for the flavor of my food. That was it. I swear.