Yesterday afternoon Awful Announcing explained to everyone how the folks in the Bay Area and Houston were going to be the lone poor chaps to miss out on watching the game of the century. Well not so fast AA. The Raider fans are smarter than you think. Much smarter than you think.

According the NFL rules if any NFL franchise does not sell out a home game then the cable companies operating within a 75 mile radius from the stadium will be blocked from showing the game. Currently the game is not a sellout and unless the Raider fans flock to the ticket booths and purchase every last one by 1:15 tomorrow afternoon then the folks within 75 miles of the stadium will unfortunately be barred from watching their Oakland Raiders face off against the illustrious Houston Texans.

Taking this punishment in stride, football fans in the Bay Area will instead be forced into watching CBS's coverage of the 8-0 New England Patriots traveling to Indy to face off against the Colts. And all this time you thought Raider fans were just a bunch of rowdy morons, when the whole time they have been clever savants. Utilizing NFL rules to garner coverage of the best game available instead of the mediocre battle in their backyard.

Unfortunately for the folks of Houston and people just outside this 75 mile radius, they're stuck with the meaningless contest.

So in my humble cubicle I have limited decorations. One of which is the 2007 Green Vomit, I mean New York Jet, calendar. Each month there is one putrid Jet's picture featured. For the month of October, a month where the Jets won no games whatsoever, the featured Jet was? You guessed it Pete Kendall the former Jet left guard that they decided wasn't worth the additional one million dollars this season and was sent packing to the Redskins. Who's laughing now? Certainly not me.

One of my childhood friends went to Colorado after somehow scoring tickets for Game 3 and Game 4 of the World Series and ended up at the same bar as the Sox post game 4. Most of the pics are either him or his younger sis with players so I'm not gonna post those and some are just players walking around the bar, it seems as if they weren't overly rowdy yet. Anyway these are the two that I enjoyed the most.

Julio Lugo apparently enjoys the double thumbs up and queer looking hats. That probably explains his .230 batting average this season. And now David Ortiz pissing out the window. ...

Ok, he probably is just looking out the window and is doing nothing that cool. However, if he actually was pissing out the window in a crowded bar I might be willing to wear a David Ortiz jersey to a Yankee Red Sox game because it would be that cool.

Wow You Guys Suck: Washington Redskins, We're 4-2 and should be atleast competetive for a few minutes. Nope 52-7 wiped off the face of the planet. They shouldn't have even shown up on sunday. Runners Up: Jets, Dolphins, & Rams all are miserable football teams.

Cough Cough Cough: Brian Griese, The Sex Cannon has to be semi-enjoying this from the bench. Griese sucks just as much as he did and that should be a surprise to no one. People of Chicago start scouting college QBs now. Runners Up: Minnesota can start the QB look as well, Kellen Clemens had a stellar substitution throwing 2 INTs in 3 minutes I can't wait for him to start this weekend.

This Scarecrow Needs a Brain: Jon Gruden How do you lose a home game to a team with it's third string QB who couldn't throw the ball at all until his final throw of the game. You couldn't stuff the run at all knowing their QB sucked? Runners Up: Mike Shanahan calling a QB draw on 3rd and 1 from the 4 down by 3, the Jets pussying out of 4th and 1 from the 45 in the 4th quarter.

The Shocker: Boycotting, The NFL is supposed to be the land of upsets a parity and blah blah blah. Well it certainly wasn't the week. The team with the better record won every single game. Everyone, there were no shocking upsets, there was nothing even surprising. Runners Up: Nada

The Pimp: Brett Favre, On monday I watched the closing minutes of regulation and decided that I wanted to hit the sack instead of watching overtime cause I was beat. Well that apparently saved me about 20 seconds of awake time after Brett Favre threw a perfect strike for a TD. Runners Up: The Entire Patriot and Colt rosters.

You Got JAKKED UP: Laveraneus Coles, Good ole Chad threw a nice out route high extending Coles in the air. He was immediately destroyed and was nice and unconscious for a few minutes. Go Jets.

My Fantasy Anti-MVP: Drew Brees, Another week down, another week of facing the team that puts up the most points in the league. This is getting to be so much fun. Thanks Drew for waking up when you are playing me.

New York Jets MVP: Jonathan Vilma, Why? Because he's on the IR with a knee injury which doesn't exist. Well atleast an injury that he doesn't feel it's appropriate to say what's wrong with it nor which knee is actually injured.

My Picks

My Picks: 11-2
Preseason Picks: 7-6
Picks Vs. Spread: 10-3

Everything good except for the preseason.

People keep on chiming in saying that Joe Girardi is a smart guy, he even got an engineering degree from Northwestern. Wow, isn't that great an engineer. He must be so super smart to be an engineer. I think it's pretty safe to say from personal experience that just cause you are an engineer doesn't mean you make good decisions...

That ain't Apple Cyder, thats a gallon of delicious Natty Light which was finished in 12 minutes...

Why wipe the black puke off your face when you can savor the flavor...

Front teeth are overrated and so are dentists and milk...

Naaman apparently enjoys bleeding, or playing the broken broom guitar. Not quite sure...

Unfortunately there is no photographic evidence of me urinating on Barret's door knob but regardless being an engineer isn't necessarily a sign of intelligence.

I was born and raised a Celtic fan and have never wavered from that position in my life (other than to additionally cheer on C-Webb). But this year is an odd one. I was saddened by the trade of my favorite Celtic and don't feel any real connection with the current roster given that 2/3 of the team are newly acquired studs that I will never associate with the Celtics.

In any other year I would quickly get over this fact. However this year my hatred towards all things Boston has hit its highest point. The Red Sox just won the World Series, which intensely pissed me off. The Patriots are arguably the best football team ever assembled, which is overly depressing. Even BC seems bullet proof. Hell the Bruins even had a hot start. Everything seems to be going Boston's way. Even in college when I was surrounded by Mass fans a Red Sox World Series and multiple Pats Superbowl titles I didn't hate Boston teams this much. Perhaps its the fact that I was mildly sympathetic in 2004 where as now as a statement of fact the Red Sox are and a better team and should be next season. Maybe with each additional year of dominance my Patriot hate increases. Whatever it is I just feel like more and more I am hoping for the demise of a Boston team and more and more I am disappointed by their success rate.

If the Celtics were to ever win the title this season it would fully stamp the fact Boston would have the most historic year in Sporting History and I honestly right now I don't know if I can or want to deal with that. Perhaps in a few months after the fallout of the World Series and perhaps a stunning upset of the Pats, and after watching the Celtics play a few games I will again grow to love the Leprechauns but right now I am unsure if I can throw my typical passion towards the hardwood.

Wow the NBA is starting up already, is it just me or does this seem incredibly early.

NBA East

1. Detroit Pistons, Central Champs - The safe Eastern Conference pick, the record is always good they maintain relatively the same roster and they have the talent to win games.

2. Miami Heat, Southeast Champs - Adding Ricky Davis adds a little crazy, but it also adds energy and talent which should help the Heat once again capture the Southeast crown.

3. Boston Celtics, Atlantic Champs - Three superstars and a lot of unproven players surrounding the Cs, they should be good enough to win the division but they might lag a little behind the Heat and Pistons to start the year.

4. Chicago Bulls - The Bulls are team rumor #1 for picking up Kobe, either way the Bulls have the talent to put up a good record this season.

5. New Jersey Nets -The Nets are a borderline team for me, if they all are healthy they should end up pushing the Celtics for the division crown, if Jefferson Carter or Kidd get injured they could miss the playoffs.

6. Cleveland Cavs - The Lebrons made the finals last year but in a vastly improving Eastern Conference did nothing in the offseason to help out their roster and should slide back in the pack a little bit.

7. Orlando Magic - The Magic just narrowly missed out on the playoffs last season but with the overpayment of Rashard Lewis and the continual growth of Dwight Howard they should sneak in.

8. Atlanta Hawks - I had to throw atleast one curveball in this conference and this is it. The Hawks have a lot of talent on their roster and with the addition of Al Horford have some post play to match the 7 consecutive small forwards they drafted.

9. Washington Wizards - Agent Zero is going to be very very pissed off if this team struggles and does not make the playoffs.

10. New York Knicks - The Knickerbockers should float around the playoff line after the addition of Zach Randolph, but they have too many selfish players and it will be just when the miss out and Ike gets the boot.

11. Toronto Raptors - Last years surprise team in the East will struggle this season simply because the teams surrounding them in the division are vastly improved from the offseason.

12. Milwaukee Bucks - A bad team last year who picked up one large question mark in the draft. If Yi is as good as some people think, they could make the playoffs, if he struggles to adjust the Bucks should continue to struggle this season.

13. Charlotte Bobcats - The Bobcats added Jason Richardson, but really they shouldn't be much more than a competitive team this season.

14. Philadelphia 76ers - They just lack a top tier player, if you look around the league most teams have atleast one player with superstar talent, the 76ers best player is Andre Iguodala, who is not a superstar.

15. Indiana Pacers - This team has plummeted from one of the best teams in the East to a complete mess who should have jettisoned Jermaine O'Neal in the offseason.

NBA West

1. Dallas Mavericks, Southwest Champs - The Mavs win a lot of games. I don't care to elaborate on that much.

2. Phoenix Suns, Pacific Champs - This year the Suns have to get it done. Amare should be healthier, this could be the last go round with Marion, if they don't get it done this year they never will. They might as well consider themselves the 2000s version of the 90s Kings.

3. San Antonio Spurs - Boring. The Spurs don't care about the regular season. They give Duncan and Ginobli plenty of rest. Win a ton of games and then just settle behind the Mavs for the best record.

4. Denver Nuggets, Northwest Champs - The Northwest is still piss poor and with a full offseason together the Nuggets should win the division behind Carmelo and AI.

5. Houston Rockets - So much potential every single year for the Rockets and every year they fizzle in the first round after Yao and/or T-Mac get hurt for a significant time during the season. There's no reason to expect otherwise this year.

6. Utah Jazz - Deron Williams is one of my absolute favorite players in the NBA to watch and should continue his growth towards being an elite PG in the league.

7. Memphis Grizzlies - The worst team in the league who tanked games down the stretch is going to make the playoffs? Sure why not, Pao is healthy and they have a point guard this year.

8. Golden St. Warriors - Perhaps the Warriors will drop off a tad with the trade of Jason Richardson, but they should be good enough to sneak into the postseason again.

9. LA Lakers - If the Lakers just played Kobe they probably would make the playoffs, however they seem intent on pissing him off or trading him, both are bad ideas.

10. NO/OKC Hornets - Are they still playing games in OKC this year? Either way this team should again be in the limbo of not miserable but not that good.

11. LA Clippers - The Clippers season is already essentially over after all of the injuries they had in the offseason.

12. Sacramento Kings - This team was bad last year, and now with Bibby out for up to 2 months they aren't going to be any better.

13. Seattle Supersonics - I think this team could have been good if they had kept Ray Ray and Rashard, but they let both go and went complete youth movement and really shouldn't sniff the playoffs the last two months of the season.

14. Minnesota Timberwolves -I understand the criticism of Kevin McHale for the Garnett trade, but I love Big Al and think he will mature into a perennial 24 point per game player. I don't understand the Ricky Davis trade, but I guess they really want to push for last place.

15. Portland Trailblazers - The loss of Oden is certainly bad for fans this season, however in the long run it could be a good thing. If Oden can recoop and come back healthy, the Blazers should stink this season and come back in 2008 with another excellent player from the draft.

Eastern Conference Champs: Boston Celtics

Despite the improvement of the Eastern Conference it still does not have the super teams like the Western Conference does. The Celtics come into the season with the largest three weapons of any Eastern Conference team. It could take awhile to mold the talent but by the postseason they should be ready to go and should have a better squad than both Detroit and Miami.

Western Conference Champs: San Antonio Spurs

Last year I went with the Mavericks... They got bounced in the first round, whoops. This year I'm going with the no brainer safe pick Spurs. Tim Duncan doesn't go anywhere every year, they still are well coached and they play winning basketball. There's really no sense in not picking a team you pretty much know, if healthy, will at minimum be in the Western Conference finals

World Champs: Boston Celtics

When the Garnett trade went down I expressed my frustration and thought that it was a bad deal and didn't think that they would win a title with the constructed team. Now? Well I still don't really think they will beat the Spurs and I don't know if I really think they will make the finals (so you can disregard that Eastern Conference paragraph if you like) but whatever Boston is winning everything else this year, why not the NBA as well.

NBA Season Awards

Coach of the Year: Scott Skiles, Back to back years I'm going with Scott Skiles, not quite sure why but hell why not.

Rookie of the Year: Kevin Durant, Too much talent, too much opportunity, too much hype. If Durant does not win this award I will be shocked.

Sixth Man of the Year: Ricky Davis, I really don't know if Ricky Davis is going to start or come off the bench for the Heat, but let's assume he comes of the bench. Kind of like I'm assuming he will be very good.

Defensive Player of the Year: Gerald Wallace, I went with this last year as well, probably a dumb decision but whatever.

Most Improved Player of the Year: Rajon Rondo, this award is the most impossible for anyone to predict. I'll go with Rondo cause he wasn't that good last year and maybe the 3 stars will make him look like a competent PG this year.

Most Valuable Player: Dwayne Wade, With the flux in LA, Cleveland being worse, the Spurs resting Duncan this award is up for grabs. I'll go with a healthy Dwayne Wade, who will have the hype is on a good team and should have a big year.

Well, the Sox are the World Champs again. I may take a bunch of crap for this, but you know what, it’s really just not that exciting compared to 2004. I was at a concert Sunday night in Portland, got back to my buddy’s apartment late, watched Kielty hit the homerun, and you know what I did? Got in the car and started driving home. I was fine with listening to the Sox win the World Series on the radio, and not just because Miller and Morgan are like listening to angels sing compared to McCarver and Buck.

And here’s why. For starters, the Sox pulled off the improbable comeback in the ALCS again. That was the exciting series. Young guys were coming up huge when they needed to and Beckett saved the season in game 5. I will say this, the Sox looked dead in the water in that series, then they started having fun again when they had nothing to lose, and the next thing you know Youk is sporting oven mitts in the dugout during the World Series.

Second, we didn’t have to go through the Yanks to get there. That’s the reality, the Yankees are the Darth Helmet to our Lonestar, or maybe it’s the other way around for now, and when you don’t have to go through the enemy to achieve victory, it’s just not as sweet.

Third, the National League sucks. The AL has won 11 of the last 17 World Series, and the NL has swept only one of those series. Also, with the exception Bonds, there really isn’t anybody to hate in the NL. Can anybody say that they hate the Rockies? I’ll bet even their fans aren’t that upset, that was pretty sweet run they went on, and it had to end sometime.

Last but not least, the Pats. This may be because I played football and not baseball in high school, but this is historic. They have a chance to be the most dominant team to play professional sports. And granted they were in the midst of going 14-2 in 2004 as well, but that was with half of the talent that they have this year. The Pats victories this year are like train wrecks; the carnage is so horrific you can’t even look away even though you want to change the channel.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm still amped up about this World Championship. Most of all for Mike Lowell, who my old man refers to simply as "a ball player." And that's what he is. He is the epitamy of baseball, and to have a career year and then win the World Series and the series MVP is exactly what he deserves. It will be a travesty if the Sox don't resign him. That's the diffence this time around for me, in 2004 I was overjoyed for the team and the fanbase, this year I feel more excited about the individuals on the team.

One other thing real quick here. Curt Schilling gets his balls broken about a lot of things, mostly stemming from his blogging and his love of whatever lame ass computer game it is that he plays, but I will say this, he looks like the Rock of Gibraltar in the playoffs. His lines from 2004 and 2007 are almost identical:

2004

3-1, 22.2 innings, 3.57 ERA, 13 Ks/ 5 BBs

2007

3-0, 24 innings, 3.00 ERA, 16 Ks/ 3 BBs

Now I don’t know what’s more impressive, the fact that he pitched that well in 2004 with his ankle disintegrating or the fact that 3 years later he pitched even better. His stats from this year would have been even more impressive if he didn’t get touched for 5 runs by Cleveland in the 2nd game of that series.

Stats courtesy of: MLB.com, ESPN.com
Pic: Tom Szczerbowski/US Presswire

You know your not a very strong football team when you trample your cheerleader and she walks off unhurt. Their run defense must be similar to the New York Jets.

Courtesy of With Leather

Remember this is all about Quality Wins and Bad Losses so if you lose to a top ranked team its not going to kill you, if you lose to Appalachian St. in the opener it will haunt you the entire season.

1. Louisiana State - An off week does a little bit to depreciate the LSU holding of the #1 spot in the poll. VaTech, the Cocks and Florida all lost. Additionally Kentucky fell for the 2nd consecutive week. The Bama matchup this weekend will help fortify their standing. Quality Wins: VaTech, South Carolina, Florida, Auburn

2. Oregon - One fumble at the goal line and they would be the #1 team in the country. Now they sit with wins over two perennial Rose Bowl squads. A win vs. Arizona St. will push them to the cusp of the #1 1 loss squad in the country. Quality Wins: @Michigan, USC

3. Oklahoma - The Sooners should be on cruise control until the Big 12 finals. However, with their not so stellar performance against Iowa St. and the trends thus far this season they better stay on their toes. Quality Wins: Texas(n), Miami, Missouri | Bad Loss: Colorado

4. Boston College - Matt Ryan puked his way to a win in Blacksburg. This will end up their biggest win of the season, but they still have to play FSU., Miami and Clemson. A lot of tests await the Eagles over the next few weeks. Quality Wins: Wake Forest, @VT

5. Ohio St. - The Buckeyes picked up a nice pounding of the whiteout this weekend. Still the Big 10 is atrocious. Purdue is the 3rd best team in the Big 10? Or Wisconsin? Either way those teams just are not good. Quality Wins: Purdon't, @Penn St.

6. Arizona St. - One game done in the gauntlet 3 more to go. I just can't see them beating Cal, Oregon, USC and UCLA in consecutive weeks. If they do that they will be the #1 team in the country. Quality Wins: Cal, Oregon St.

7. Kansas - Mangino is eating his way towards the top 5. What if this team somehow runs the table and picks up wins against Mizzou and Oklahoma? How would they be less deserving than Ohio St.? Quality Wins: @Kansas St., @A&M

8. South Florida - Back to back tough road losses against Big East contenders is a very difficult pill to swallow. However, they still have the win at Auburn and win over West Virginia to hang there hats on. But apparently AP voters think that Auburn with three losses is still better tahn South Florida... Quality Wins: @Auburn, West Virginia

9. Georgia - So I guess I was pretty wrong on the Bulldogs getting smoked at the cocktail party. Apparently Florida forgot how to stop the run. Now Georgia sits atop the SEC East and is LSU's best hope for a top notch SEC Title game. Quality Wins: (n)Florida, @Bama

10. Missouri - TT decided that they didn;t want to show up in Colorado thus stifling that win for Mizzou. Mizzou still has Kansas waiting for them during the final week of the season and a potential rematch vs. Oklahoma. They are on the fringe of elmination, but crazier things have happened. Quality Wins: @Illinois, Texas Tech

11. Alabama - Another week where I struggle to pick #11. I'm going with 11 because there's way too many teams that I can't rank and atleast they picked up a nice win over UT this week and have beaten 5-3 Arkansas. Quality Wins: Arkansas, Tennessee

Dropped Out: Kentucky because the Degrees don't lie, VaTech had a nice opportunity to jump up the rankings but blew it at the end, Florida with the #3 loss on the season

Noticeable Absences: West Virginia has only beaten Rutgers I await their manslaughter of Uconn in the coming weeks. Uconn beat South Florida and are in the lead of the Big East, however they really have 3 losses.

Previous Weeks: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

(n) = neutral field

1. Talk to the hand cause the face ain't listenin.
2. Coach asked for more Sass during today's game.
3. I have five fingers, five beautiful little fingers that you will not be touching anytime soon sir.





1. I can't believe my boyfriend is wearing Jorts right now.
2. I should have stayed in the parking lot for a few more quarters and had a few more cocktails, that way instead of being depressed right now I would be throwing up in the stall and have no idea what went on.
3. Me laying Tebow is not as cool as I had imagined 3 hours ago.



1. Here at NC State we pride ourselves on having eyes.
2. We won a game I can't believe we actually won a game.
3. Coach kept on telling us that it sucked that he left BC and how BC was great and how this was the dumbest decision he ever made and that got me thinking maybe we should beat Virginia so we could leave BC as the only undefeated ACC team.



1. This would be so much funnier if it was lemon lime Gatorade.
2. Woo, I beat the Gators, I beat the Gators yippy this is awesome, I can't believe I beat the Gators.
3. I'm going to make my very own T-Bag Tebow shirt, it's going to be great.






1. What the hell does this little brown jug have to do with football?
2. I wonder if you can attach a funnel to the bottom of this thing.
3. Either way we're flowing straight Bud Diesel out of the jug this evening, we may even invite Lloyd... Sike.




What's worse? The fact that I could use a trip to the salad bar, the enormous amount of paint I have put on my face, the fact that I actually spent money on this stupid looking Wolfpack hat on my head, or the fact that I am acknowledging that I am a fan of North Carolina State.








1. I have no idea what I am but it's a pretty sick Halloween costume.
2. My goal for this trip to the game was to make as many little kids cry as possible, so far I'm at 12, let's hope I can add to that in the 2nd half.
3. Am I a Zombie Skeleton Devil with Salad on my head?








1. This losing thing is bad for my hair line.
2. We need to start paying people on a roster like we used to with Reggie.
3. I have to pick between Dirty Sanchez and a Shitty Booty for my quarterback each week, this sucks, where's my hollywood playboy.







1. This game would have been way more fun if our defensive line decided to be faster than Matt Ryan and tackle him. or...
2. If your Secondary decided to cover the receivers in the closing minutes instead of letting them float to open areas.
3. I can fly, Turkeys can fly... Except in the final 3 minutes.




Butch "This is how you properly cup the balls. Palm up fingers out."
Official "Um Butch how about you concentrate on coaching your team."
Butch "I know, I know I just wanted to teach you an important life lesson."
Official "Um... Sure Butch."





1. This is exactly why coach has us in Yoga class in the offseason.
2. I'm also trying out for small forward on the hoops team just in case you wanted a walk in Coach Gillespie.
3. If I was a pitcher in the majors this would have Oblique Strain written all over it.







1. Goodnight Heisman Dreams.
2. It was way more fun when we beat LSU and everyone thought we were really good than it is turning the ball over on every other possession and losing.
3. Atleast college basketball is only a few weeks around the corner, we kept the Kentucky fans occupied for longer than they thought they were going to be.


1. I call all of my timeouts with an upside down T.
2. Ya Degrees of Loss Separation knew we were going to win this game.
3. I on the other hand had no idea that we were going to beat a ranked team.

You do not give Iron Mike an Omelet with only 2 eggs, the omelets must have 3 eggs with decadent cheese, sausage, peppers and bacon or he will bite your ear off.

The 8th inning of the potential last game of the World Series. This is when Scott Boras decides he would like to break the news to the World that his prized client is opting out of his contract. The 8th inning of a World Series game. What an attention whore. Not only do we get the simple announcement but we even were lucky enough to get a generic bullshit statement about how the flux of the Yankees organization is behind the opt out, instead of anything closely resembling the truth.

One would have hoped that FOX would have been above all of this garbage. Told Scott to go shove his news up his ass and focus on the fact that a game was being played, a game which should be the showcase of baseball, a game that deserves the entire attention of the broadcast team. Instead, we get this garbage, and instead of focusing on the game at hand we get a conversation between Sideline Ken, Buckers and McCarver.

What an all around disgrace. Shame on Scott Boras for once again proving how greed driven he is. Shame on Arod for not having the sense to show the game and its grandest stage some respect. And shame on FOX for airing and discussing an irrelevant topic while the Red Sox were on route to their 7th World Series crown.

No serious crimes this week again, which is nice, but again proves that you don't need to go to jail for a long time to be a complete waste of life. 1. Stan Vaughn - Those 1st base, 2nd base etc. sex talks were life changing in 3rd grade. However in high school I think the lingo changed a bit, and I'm pretty sure that you understand what the hell everything is and where stuff can and can't go. But I guess principals in Kansas think Saving 2nd Base t-shirts are too inappropriate for the youth of their community. And who really cares about raising money for breast cancer anyway right? 2. Hank Steinbrenner - Apparently it didn't take very long for another Steinbrenner to start saying dumb things to the media. Yes, we all understand that you thought Joe should make the World Series next year and if he didn't he would have not gotten a contract. So why when talking about hiring a new manager do you ask your fan base for patience and say that they are not the 96 Yankees. You might want to shut up. 3. East Hartford High - What do you do when your getting shut out in a football game in the high schools of ct? Well you simply hide a razor blade somewhere on you and start slicing at your opponents hands. That'll teach them from beating the piss out of your slightly ghetto high school football team. 4. Alicia Vigil - Lawn Chairs are not a deadly weapon Alicia. If you really want to do damage to a soccer coach that is pissing you off, I would suggest using your mini van. Those thinks probably pack a mighty punch. Get up to about 35 40 miles an hour and clip 'em. That should do appropriate damage. Oh and get yourself GPS. Get Your Vote On Last Weeks Winner: El Hadji-Diouf

Opinion Polls & Market Research

I feel the mediocre results already.

5. Houston Texans (+10 1/2) vs. San Diego Chargers
Chances are the Chargers are very distracted this week with the massive fire which has engulfed much of the community. Additionally this game could end up being played in the state of Texas. Maybe it's not quite the most heartfelt pick ever made, but it's about winning imaginary money.


4. Detroit Lions (+5 1/2) at Chicago Bears
Remember a couple of weeks back when the Lions scored 34 friggin points on the Bears in the 4th quarter? Um 5 1/2 points? The Bears aren't a very good team, and apparently it's taking people way too long to realize this fact.

3. Jacksonville Jaguars (+4 1/2) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Anytime the Bucs are giving the opponent more than a field goal I will contemplate taking the opposition. When they are giving 4 1/2 points to a 4-2 team from the AFC it's pretty much a no brainer. There is no way the Bucs go out and win by more than a FG.


2. New York Jets (-2 1/2) vs. Buffalo Bills
Call this the cruelty to myself for being a Jet fan pick. The Jets are in every game and have become the kings of the choke. But come on the Bills absolutely suck. They have no offense, they're defense is overrated, they're just not good. The Jets can't lose to them twice this season right? Right?

1. Indianapolis Colts (-7 1/2) at Carolina Panthers
The Panthers are either starting David Carr or Vinny Testaverde against the second best team in the NFL. I understand the home game thing, and the fact that Peyton has never beaten the Panthers before, but who the hell cares the Colts are going to pound the Panthers on sunday.

Survivor League Pick: Death to Norv Chargers

I still hate the Chargers, but I'm back to picking teams this week. So I'm going with the Titans over the Raiders, and honestly I have no idea if Vince Young is playing or not.

Non-Spread Picks

Everyone needs something to keep them occupied on Friday afternoons so the Friday Video Blowout was born. Spend your next few minutes, laughing, crying of laughter, pissing your self, whatever, but mostly wasting your companies time.

Videos, in order, courtesy ofEDSBS, Red Sox Monster, Off Wing Opinion, Who Ate All the Pies, Campus Clicks, EC, Fanhouse


Apparently the Auburn lineman do not want Dorsey to be the #1 pick in the draft.


Yep Kevin you were just rooting for a good game. Not rooting for the Sox at all.


This received the maximum NHL fine? And that maximum is 2,500? Both Weak.


Nothing says great MLS goals like some gay female pop song. Video Best Viewed On Mute.


R.I.P. Brutus...


Why is Royce Clayton on the bench again?


Clean up at the blue line.

It's the Bottom of the 9th you've just downed the last of the 4 beers you bought at assorted stands in the park right before last call. You're bladder is ready to burst like the staples in Charlie Weis's stomach. But you don't want to move, you're team is down by one with runners at the corners and one out. If you hustle to the bathrroom you might miss the entire game. You won't be able to celebrate with your buddies and punch that rival fan a few rows down. What is there to do? Hold it and you could end up dripping urine out of your shorts run to the bathroom and you could miss the enjoyment of that rival fan lying on the ground crying.

Well fear not young drunkard, your problem is now solved thanks to the ingenious ideas of Austrians. Introducing the Roadbag, your portable and disposable urinal. Just duck down and pull the road bag out of your pocket and start your pissin. The Roadbag contains amazingly powerful crystals which turn your urine into an odorless gel which is easily disposable.

So next time you go to the stadium be sure to bring your Roadbag and just piss where ever you please.

Courtesy of The Offside

I'm going SEC free Big 5 this week. I understand the cocktail party is this weekend, but I fully expect the Gators to maul the Bulldogs.

5. South Florida Bulls at Uconn Huskies
FraudConn picked up another illegitimate win last week after they were granted a td they didn't deserve. So now 7 games into the season they are 6-1 and lead the Big East Conference. If somehow they can manage to cheat their way to victory yet again, who knows maybe they could sneak into the BCS. The Pick: No Chance, the Bulls expose FraudConn for what they are, a mediocre team.

4. California Bears at Arizona St. Sun Devils
The Sun Devils start out the Big 5s countdown of undefeated teams who this weekend will face their first legit opponent. The Sun Devils have defeated mediocre Oregon St. and Colorado this season. Despite the fact that Cal is reeling they and lost to the Beavers themselves, they are a more talented squad. The Pick: Something tells me the Sun Devils fall at a later time.

3. Ohio State Buckeyes at Penn State Nittany Lions
On the Buckeye schedule this is really one of two games you would expect them to be challenged in. Big Saturday night matchup in the white out stadium against a solid but not spectacular Penn St. squad. This game is tough to call really, because as I've stated over and over again, there is no way yet this season to know just how good the Buckeyes are. The Pick: Joe Pa goes home angry and yelling at more traffic violators.

2. Southern California at Oregon Ducks
The Trojans were hyped up as the best team in the country at the start of the season and so far have done absolutely nothing to justify that early rank. Meanwhile the Ducks are being hyped as one of the best teams in the country right now despite only defeating an overrated Michigan squad. Time to see who's for real. The Pick: Duck Power

1. Boston College Eagles at Virginia Tech Hokies
Despite their early season beatdown in the Bayou, if the Hokies run the table in impressive fashion, have a few balls bounce their way, and win the ACC championship, it isn't that far fetched to think that they could still someway creep into the National Title game. Meanwhile the Eagles run the table, they'll almost surely be there. This matchup is huge. The Pick: VaTech takes it with the home field advantage.

I already made my bed and picked the Red Sox over the Rockies, so unfortunately I'm going to stick to my guns. Here are some quick reasons why the Red Sox are going to win the season.

1. Simple, Josh Beckett. Why did the Red Sox beat the Indians? Josh Beckett. Sure they won game 6 and 7 without him but, without Beckett Manny would be who caring at the beach right now.

2. Manny Corpas has been great since taking over the closers role, but he most certainly does not have Papelbon's dance moves or intimidating stare down.

3. After Beckett, the Red Sox have an advantage at the remaining 3 starters in the rotation. Jimenez has great stuff but Schilling is an elite postseason pitcher despite his age. Fogg and Dice-K both are mediocre but Dice-K has better stuff. And Lester was lights out in the ALCS while Cook is coming off months of being on the DL.

4. The Sox have World Series experience oozing out of their key players, Beckett, Schilling, Ortiz, Manny, V-tek, etc. meanwhile the Rockies have absolutely none.

5. Manny and Papi are always great but the Red Sox tend to get ridiculous production from elsewhere in their lineup. Youk has been a Greek God in the postseason. Pedroia had a massive game 7. Hell even JD Drew had a huge game in the series.

6. The massive lay off. Why not, everyone else is already using it as a bona fide excuse for the Rockies cooling off, so I'll use it as well.

7. God got into a freak skeeball accident and is stuck on IR in a Jersey Hospital.

Personally I'm wearing Purple today, will obviously be rooting for the Rockies to pull off the upset, and will most likely be disappointed just like everything else that has happened in the 2007 sports landscape. I just pray that Purple Jesus is watching and uses his powers to push the Rockies to victory over Lucifer's favorite squad.

Purple Jesus Creation from With Leather, found at KSK

Let's again preface this with the fact that I am an avid Michigan fan and in most years hype up the Big 10. However this year it's impossible they are terrible. I updated the table from last week and have a few additional points.

1-AA Losses: Thanks to good ole Minnesota this weekend the Big 10 has 2 losses to 1-AA teams. That is an accomplishment which may never be repeated by another BCS conference. Schedule 'cupcakes' and lose them. Phenomenal.

Deceiving 5-4 BCS Record: Missouri and Oregon look better and better each weak, but they won their games against the Big 10 so that doesn't say anything very positive about the Big 10. Meanwhile their wins came against the combine 4-11 Washington squads, 2 wins against the Cuse, and a win against Wanny's crew. All bad teams. Throw in some nice losses to Duke and Iowa St. and the BCS record is actually ugly.

MAC Cake Walk: What would the Big 10 be without the MAC this season? Every team in the Big 10 has scheduled atleast one game against a MAC school all have beaten a MAC school with the exception of Illinois who has Ball St. remaining on their schedule. Even Minnesota is 1-1 against the MAC despite being 0 for against everybody else.

2 of 11: Only 2 of the 11 teams in the Big 10 have an Out of Conference schedule with teams that have a combined winning percentage above .500. Those teams being the Fighting Zookers who actually who scheduled Mizzou and Minnesota who helps those teams by losing 3 of 4 out of their out conference games including against the undefeated NDS.

Hammering a Point Home: I said this last week but this is my key point, the Big 10 does not have one identifiably good out of conference victory. The overall record of the Big 10 against teams with an above .500 record is 5-6. Discounting their wins over 1-AA teams with good records, the Big 10 has one, count it, one win over a Division 1 school with an above .500 record. That win being Michigan St. 28-17 victory over 4-3 Bowling Green who jumped over .500 with their win against Kent St. on Saturday.

Conclusion: Even the most staunch supporter of the Big 10 should be forced to temper their jubilance about the 2007 Big 10. The Big 10 has offered no supporting argument this season towards their standing amongst the other 'power' conferences. So next time a fan from the SEC or PAC 10 comes up to you proclaiming that their conference is better than yours, you really are just going to have to sit there and take it.

The Degrees of Loss Separation is a simple concept, I go out and find a highly rated team with some losses playing against a crappy team with lots of losses. Next I find a chain of losses which proves beyond a shadow of a doubt (not at all) that the underdog is going to pull the major upset and storm the field. The Final Outcome is calculated simply: Add up the scores of the losers, add up the scores of the winners in the degrees of loss separation and divide both by the # of degrees.

The Game: Mississippi State Bulldogs vs. Kentucky Wildcats

There will be many more games on your college football radar this weekend, including the SEC Cocktail Party in Jax, than the matchup of SEC opponents in Lexington. However, this is a big matchup for Kentucky. If they win no one will think twice, voters will continue to see them as a legit team and continue to vote them high in their polls. However, if they lose the victory over LSU will be thought more and more like a fluke game.

3º of Loss Separation : Miss St. beat Auburn beat Florida beat Kentucky

Coming off the loss to South Florida the Auburn Tigers returned home for their conference matchup versus the bottom feeding Bulldogs and were unceremoniously dropped. Two weeks later the Tigers went into Gainesville and knocked off the defending champs whom after another loss to LSU rebounded last week in Lexington for a big win over the Wildcats.

Final Outcome: Miss St. 28 Kentucky 23

So if you're sitting up in Lexington thinking to yourself, it's ok we're still ranked in the top 15 and everyone thinks we are still good... Think again, you're going to get dropped by the Croom Crew and pushed out of the top 15 for good.

Pretty simple, all you need is a pair of Jorts and a custom I (Heart) T (Bow) shirt and wallah you are a Florida Gators fan. If you want to be an overachiever you can even get Florida Gator Jorts as shown.

Tom Brady is better than Peyton Manning. See I don't have a problem saying it. Tom Brady, the man I wish only bad things towards, is a better quarterback than Peyton Manning and everyone else.. I don't think that was very difficult. 3 Superbowls to 1. A better postseason track record. And now that he has comparable weaponry on the offensive end he's putting up superior numbers. Everything really leans towards Tom Brady.

Yet, if you've listened to Mike and Mike in the morning or watched ESPN the past few weeks apparently people are afraid of having an opinion. Steve Young, nope didn't want to answer. Phil Simms on Mike and Mike this morning? Nope refused to answer. Mike Ditka, Bill Parcells, Ron Jaworski? Nope, Nope, Nope. Everyone refuses to have an opinion on the subject. Isn't that what they get paid for?

Even Mike Golic can't give a straight answer saying that Brady is better now but Manning is better overall. What the hell does that mean Mike? And for some reason he actually is under the impression that he is answering the question.

The only person with an apparent spine when asked the question? Mike Greenberg who easily answered Tom Brady. When Mike Greenberg and 'only one with a spine' are muttered in the same sentence it's a very very sad occurrence.

The kick coming from off the screen makes this video so much more effective. I can just imagine David Beckham off camera pondering to himself I would love to smash the ball into this kids face. And then rolling on the ground in laughter afterwards.

Wow You Guys Suck: St. Louis Rams Offensive Line, When you're being compared to the offensive lines of the Houston Texans during the David Carr era, you know that you are an atrocious unit. I understand Orlando Pace being hurt is a killer, but you guys still have Tory Holt, Marc Bulger and Steven Jackson. You should be able to put up some points. Runners Up: The Jets Overall Defense & The Dolphins Secondary were pretty pathetic.

Cough Cough Cough: Jeff Garcia, For some dumb reason QB rating doesn't include fumbles, so Jeff Garcia looks like he had a diesel 316 yard 2 td performance with a superb QB rating. But the two fumbles he lost completely cost his team the game. Runners Up: Mr. Culpepper throwing an INT while driving for the go ahead FG, Steelers D couldn't hold up Cutler in the closing seconds.

This Scarecrow Needs a Brain: Brad Childress, I don't know how anybody could make this any clearer to Brad Childress but week after week he doesn't listen. Give the ball to Adrian Peterson more than any other player on your roster. And stop starting Tarvaris Jackson while you're at it, he sucks. Runners Up: Ken Wisenhunt deciding that an end around WR option pass on a crucial 2-point conversion was the right call, Dolphins shouldn't even have shown up on sunday they should have just forfeited atleast then Ronny Brown wouldn't be out for the year.

The Shocker: Brian Griese,Who the hell saw a 97 yard game winning drive from the Chicago Bears coming? I know the Eagles aren't exactly a super team this season, but a 97 yard drive? With under 2 minutes to play no less. Wow. Runners Up: Buffalo dropping the Ravens who aren't as advertised, The Lions are 4-2 I repeat 4-2.

The Pimp: Tom Brady, If Tom Brady played and tried the entire game sunday afternoon is there any doubt that he would have ended up with 8 touchdowns? Really the fact that the Dolphins weren't allowed to plead for the mercy rule at half-time is laughable. So much for the questionable 17 point spread. Runners Up: Kenny Watson with a mediocre 130+ yards and three tds against the woeful Jets, Rob Bironas with 8 (yes 8) field goals

You Got JAKKED UP: My Psyche, I'm too reeling as a fan to pay attention everywhere. The New York Jets are the most frustrating team in the NFL to watch this season. Since week 1 they have been in every game in the closing minutes and have failed every single time. Internally I've been JAKKED UP.

My Fantasy Anti-MVP: New York Jets, As I've already mentioned I got boned by a super week. What in part sparked the super week? The New York Jets. Not only did they lose to give me agony, but Pennington threw 3 touchdowns including a meaningless hail mary td with 0 seconds and a 2 point conversion right afterwards. 2 of those 2 tds were to Coles, also on the opponents squad. And additionally the Jets gave up the huge week to Watson. Horrible.

New York Jets MVP: Nobody, I can't think of any positive thing to say about this team right now, and I can't pinpoint one player that stood out above the rest when it comes to horrendous play. They all suck.

My Picks

My Picks: 6-8
Preseason Picks: 10-4
Picks Vs. Spread: 10-4

Spread picks not so good, non spread picks pretty good.

Everyone knows the fantasy football boning. It's when you have a superb week, one of the tops in the league and yet you lose because you faced one team that had a juggernaut week. Well my ass is sore because I've received the fantasy boning in back to back weeks. Both weeks I put up the 3rd most points in the league, meaning if I faced every other team, I would have won 7 matchups and lost two. Only problem is both weeks I faced a team that put up a ludicrous amount of points and now I sit at 2-5. Ookie's Puppies are not happy.

Seriously Kenny Watson put up 30+ points against me... the luck isn't quite the same as it was in baseball.

The immortal Drew Henson is the first entrant into the Hall of the Over-Hyped. Henson is an appropriate inaugural entrant as his over-hyping came in multiple sports at multiple levels.

Michigan Credentials

The Over-Hyping began at the University of Michigan. A High School legend in the state of Michigan, Drew Henson was wanted by many fans to start over the Californian upperclassman starting quarterback. That quarterback, just so happened to be Tom Brady, on track to becoming the greatest QB in NFL history. Additionally Brady during his senior year lead the Wolverines to a 10-2 record including victories over the Buckeyes and a Bowl win, while throwing 20 tds to 6 ints. Henson in his final year at QB finished with 18 tds to 4 ints with wins over the Buckeyes and a Bowl win as well. However, the Wolverines finished the season at 9-3 and lost to Northwestern that season. Both players entered their respective NFL drafts with similar stats with the difference being Henson had declared he was solely going to pursue a career in the MLB. Despite this fact both were drafted in the 6th round.

MLB Credentials

In High School, Drew Henson was awarded the High School Player of the Year award by the USA today which resulted in a 3rd round pick in the MLB draft. Henson was eventually given a 6 year 18 million dollar contract by the New York Yankees to persuade him into choosing baseball as a profession. In 6 years in the minors Henson finished with a career 556 Ks to 460 Hits including leading the minors with 151 in 2002. After the 2003 season Henson gave up baseball and returned to pursuing his football career. He finished with one career major league base hit.

NFL Credentials

After giving up baseball and announcing his intentions to pursue quarterbacking in the NFL, Henson was traded by the Texans to the Cowboys for a 3rd round pick. Throughout his first NFL season multiple Cowboy fans questioned Bill Parcells for starting ancient Vinny Testaverde over Henson. Henson was eventually given the start on Thanksgiving day only to complete 4 of 12 passes and be replaced in by Vinny. In 2005 he was surpassed by Tony Romo on the depth chart for backup quarterback. At the start of the 2006 season he was cut by the Cowboys and since has been signed and cut by the Vikings twice and is currently not on a roster. His career numbers read 10 for 18 for 78 yards with 1 td and 1 int.

Current Status

Henson is currently not on an NFL Roster and the lone mentions of him in Google News are aligned with the likes of Tom Brady and how some how some way the hype machine led Michigan fans, myself included, to believe he was better than the greatest qb in the history of the nfl.

When watching tennis tournaments on tv, sometime I honestly do find enjoyment in the little kids running up and down the court like robots picking up the balls and tossing them to the players. The occasions where they get struck with the ball also leads to some enjoyment. But they're really nothing special to look at, just thoughtless chlidren really.

Well at the Madrid Masters, for atleast one match, they have improved the situation as you can certainly see. Instead of children run around like tennis slaves, they now have models running around the court and picking up the light green balls. Therefore if you ever get bored of watching sweaty men run around the court in tight shorts or capri pants and feel a little less hetero, you can simply glance to towards the net, see some nice jugs and feel a lot more like a man. Well done Spain, well done.

Apparently the additional breasts were a bit distracting to Roger Federer as he actually lost in the tournament finals against David Nalbandian of all people.

Here's a long awaited rebus. Remember the rules are... Winner is the first to identify the associated person, place or thing in the comments section. The Ultimate winner is the person who manages to put together what all the clues and answer is. I will post the answers sometime later if this isn't accomplished.

So start your guessin...

Apparently here at SimonOnSports I know my Gay Chinese Porn. Or atleast Google Canada thinks that this is what the site is about...

Apparently Yahoo Fantasy Sports thinks that being a Hot NFL Quarterback should be based on 2 PT Conversions and Return Touchdowns and by using these qualifications the 2nd/3rd String Quarterback of the Detroit Lions, and former Quarterback of my High School's Football Team, is the 3rd hottest quarterback in the league. Nicely done Dan, nicely done.

Remember this is all about Quality Wins and Bad Losses so if you lose to a top ranked team its not going to kill you, if you lose to Vandy it's going to kill you and if your best win is against a team nicknamed the Beavers you just might be absent from the poll as well.

1. Louisiana State -The Bayou Bengals snuck out another big victory this weekend and should be able to cruise to the SEC championship game if they can get past Bama. One thing that can be said about the Bengals is that all of their big time wins have been at home and the wins against UF and Auburn were aided by this in the closing minutes. So we'll eventually need to see them dominate on the road. Quality Wins: VaTech, South Carolina, Florida, Auburn

2. Oklahoma - The Sooners didn't do a lot to impress this weekend but they really didn't need to. Just come out with Ws and they should continue their path to the BCS title game. Hopefully for their sake they will either get an undefeated Jayhawk squad or a one loss Mizzou rematch in the Big 12 title game. Quality Wins: Texas(n), Miami, Missouri | Bad Loss: Colorado

3. South Florida - The Bulls were right there in their matchup against Rutgers and one call changed on the field goal lateral and they probably would still be undefeated. That being said they still have a victory over the Mountaineers and a road victory against the Auburn Tigers. Quality Wins: @Auburn, West Virginia

4. Oregon - The Ducks really shouldn't have fumbled away that ball on the goal line against Cal. They have the best offense in the country and would make a thrilling championship game if they were to somehow get there. The early season beatdown at the Bighouse is looking more and more impressive by the week. Quality Wins:@Michigan

5. Ohio St. - Alright I've succumbed and put Ohio St. into the damn poll. Other teams just keep losing to bad teams and Ohio St. keeps on beating them. Maybe Penn St. will actually show up this weekend and give the Buckeyes a run for their money, but it's not as if they've looked that impressive this season. They should have lost to Indiana on saturday. Quality Wins: Purdon't, Michigan St.

6. Missouri - Mizzou absolutely dropkicked the Red Raiders this weekend. The Tigers have a few weeks of cupcakes ahead of them along with overrated A&M and if they do a bit of looking ahead they will see that the undefeated Jayhawks await in the final regular season game of the year. Quality Wins: @Illinois, Texas Tech

7. Florida - It's tough to overlook the 2 close losses, but the Gators have two solid victories and their losses are to solid teams. The Gators are the best two loss team in the country and honestly with the way teams keep on dropping off left and right, if they run the table and beat LSU in the SEC title game would it be that difficult to think they might end up defending their crown?Quality Wins: @Kentucky, Tennessee

8. Kentucky - The Louisville win drops from the ranks of Quality after they lost to meager Uconn. After a tough loss to Florida the Wildcats sit tight in the top 11 based on the sole fact that they have a win over the best team in the country. Quality Wins: LSU

9. VaTech - The Hokies have the big time thursday night advantage when facing the Eagles this week. If they can beat the Eagles they will position themselves nicely in the ACC as well as in the polls. Quality Wins: @Clemson

10. Boston College - Other teams just have to go out and get beat by Vandy so that idle BC can jump into the damn poll. I'm giving them a quality win for beating 5-2 Wake Forest in the season opener. Now let's see what they can do in the land of the Hokies. Quality Wins: Wake Forest

11. Kansas - The Jayhawks remain in the poll barely despite the fact that the Wildcats, their lone quality win, lost to the Oklahoma St. Cowgirls. Really that win could be snatched from the jaws of quality in no time at all. Quality Wins: @Kansas St.

Dropped Out: California joins the bad loss brigade in losing to a team that lost to Notre Dame. South Carolina's loss to Vandy is so bad it completely counters the Kentucky win. Arizona St. has one lone borderline quality win against the Beavers which doesn't quite stack up this week.

Noticeable Absences: West Virginia has yet to beat a good team and lost to South Florida and yet they are 5 spots ahead of them in the polls, voters have some explaining to do. USC still hasn't beaten a good team and they lost to Stanford. Arizona St. hasn't played the cream of the Pac 10 yet nor a particularly good Out of Conference game, the next 4 games Cal, Oregon, UCLA, and USC will certainly give some insight on their abilities.

Previous Weeks: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

(n) = neutral field

How would you feel if your employer came to you and said we don't like you're performance the last few years we're going to ask you to stay but at a reduced salary?

I'm going to avoid the obvious comparison in that millions is 10 times larger than the normal mans salary but here's where you simply can't compare the two. In my position I make a decent amount per year, not like I'm going to be driving around in an Escalade or anything but I won't be eating pasta everyday for the entirety of the year. However, when you compare my salary to everyone else who does what I do for a living it would be about market value. I certainly am not the highest paid IT worker in the world. I certainly do not make 100% more than the next highest IT employee in the world.

This is what Joe Torre is, the highest paid person in his profession in the entire world. Comparing his situation simply with the situation of an everyday normal worker is ludicrous. The smallest of percentiles of people will ever be the highest paid person at their position on the planet, so comparing me taking a pay cut to Joe Torre taking a pay cut is just plain old dumb.

The Pacmeng has found his new niche, mentoring current WVU students. Let's here a few testimonials:
"Pacman Jones has been very influential in teaching me how to alter a strip clubs weather pattern"
"Pacman Jones has taught me how to blame anything that goes wrong on bad luck."
"Pacman Jones helped me find Jesus."





1. It worked so well last week in increasing my spine strength, that I had to try to land on my skull yet again.
2. At UVA we find it more effective to have our running backs run with their hands than their feet.
3. It's fitting that play which results in UVA being 7-1 is upside down.







1. At Nebraska we think it's best to tackle 255+ pound running backs without our helmets.
2. Hey #13 can you please catch my head?
3. What is more likely? Me suffering brain damage on this play or coach not getting fired at the end of the season.




1. If you don't get me that cheeseburger, I'm going to eat you.
2. Ya I ate Ralph Friedgen, what have you with it?
3. Post win buffet run boys.









1. Superman wears Black and Gold.
2. I heard Mangino yelling about him wanting his Cheeseburger and I attempted to fly away.
3. Do you understand how scared I was, that Man eats human beings for an appetizer.




1. My psychic powers are ineffective with deterring this game winning touchdown catch.
2. Matt Flynn Bailing out Les Miles since 2007.
3. Scoring a td down 1 with 9 seconds to go in fg range... Ballsy or Stupid?




1. We wasted 15 entire bottles of our little sisters glitter.
2. We can't want to get home and mix up the colors, it's going to be absolutely fabulous.
3. Someone told us Jenn Sterger thought glitter was hot, but apparently she's too good for FSU now.




1. I would like it very much son if you threw a pass to our own receivers and they managed to get past that thick white line on the opposite side of the field.
2. Apparently the Green Jerseys didn't work at all.
3. Do you think if I ask nicely they'll have me back in New England?




1. Because I didn't play today, Coach Carr left me in charge of calling all of the offensive plays.
2. Appalachian St. is apparently better than everyone in the Big 10.
3. Even though I didn't play today, I still think I'm averaging 40 carries per game.







1. The girl behind me went on a mustache ride.
2. Attempting to be the first black fan in Buff history.
3. I call it the Hollywood Hogan.





"Dude how hilarious is it that we just beat a Big 10 team"
"Ya no kidding, that conference sucks."
"Do you think maybe next year we can join the conference over Minnesota?"
"Na I don't think we'd want to, it would lower our BCS ranking."







1. I'm taller than you.
2. Joe Pa is a better defender than you, if Joe Pa was on the field he would have deflected the pass.
3. Next week I think my quarterback should just throw me the ball on every play rather than fumbling the ball away 3 times in the 2nd half.







1. Come on, you know I'm gonna get fired can't you just give me a little break.
2. Why did they have to bring Tom Osborne back, anybody but Tom...
3. I don't think Tom likes they fact I went to a West Coast offense over the traditional pound it up your ass Nebraska football.



1. So long #2, it was very nice to have a one night stand with you.
2. Perhaps spiking the ball on 2nd and 22 to stop the clock when we had ample time was a bad move.
3. I didn't like being in New Jersey anyway. It smells in Piscataway.





At Northwestern we learn lots of things such as: Buttoning your chin strap on one side of the helmet does not effectively keep the helmet on your head, it hurts when you dive and land straight on your chin and you can possibly make a bowl game in a season that you lost to Duke.



1. Boy we're playin Vandy, I don't lose to Vandy do you understand this?
2. I repeat I don't lose to Vandy, so get out there and throw some gosh darn touchdown passes.
3. I just might have to get out there and tackle somebody myself, I'm already wearing click clack shoes.

Just in case you were unaware Kenny Lofton is fast. We expect you to be packed up and gone by the morning. Thank you.

The 2007 New York Jet Defense as The Matador, letting opposing running backs run through their defense with ease.

The fact that this team has only one loss is a complete joke after they were given this horrible call and the Temple call from weeks ago.

That was quite impressive. He's probably equally as quick with whatever he does afterwards...

Courtesy of AOL

I've been pounding on the Big 10 for the entire season for their lack of quality wins resulting in the perceived low standing amongst the BCS conferences. After my post on What We Know About Ohio St., I received a few cranky Buckeye fans who either A) Told me I was an idiot or B) Said look at the Big 10's out of conference record in comparison to other BCS conferences. So I decided to dig into what my perceived notion and analyze exactly whom the Big 10 has played and whom they have beaten. And in conclusion it completely solidified my thoughts that the Big 10 has done nothing to prove its value this season.

Overall Record: The overall out of conference record of the Big 10 on the surface is a very impressive 30 wins and 7 losses. If that is all you look at then you just might think that they are a good conference, but you need to take a slightly deeper dive.

Overall Scheduling: Out of the 37 games only 9 of the opponents have a better than .500 record. Of which 2 came against Directional Michigan Schools, 2 from fellow BCS conference opponents and the remaining 5 from 1-AA powerhouses.

Two Losses to Loners: One large black eye in the face of the Big 10 are the two losses to BCS schools whom have a single win this season. Thus the only team bad enough to lose to Iowa St. this season were the Hawkeyes and the only team bad enough to lose to Duke (this decade) were the Wildcats.

Identify One Big 1: It's absolutely impossible to identify one impressive win by the Big 10 conference this season. Out of the 9 games against teams with winning records, the only two against BCS schools resulted in losses by Michigan and Illinois. The two against MAC schools were 4-3 squads and the remaining were again against 1-AA opponents.

Here's the complete Big 10 Out Of Conference Breakdown:

They’ve got these guys in airports who are called “screeners” whose sole purpose is to prevent people from bringing bombs, bomb parts, guns, etc, onto airplanes. And apparently they’re not that good at it.

Now, in my opinion, a 1% failure rate is unacceptable. But 75%? By my calculations, LAX missed 52 bombs, O’Hare missed 45 and San Francisco missed 29, and between the three airports they missed 43% on average. Call me a pessimist, but I don’t like the idea that I’ve got a little better then 50/50 shot of not getting blown up in midair.

It’s good to know that the Homeland Security guys think that “this is a huge cause for concern,” and they are taking a more aggressive approach on “keeping screeners attentive.” Not to worry though, screeners who miss detonators, timers, batteries and blocks that look like C4 get remedial training.

Wait, what? Will somebody please tell these ass-bags that it’s my ass on the line up there? I’ve got an idea to increase attentiveness, how about instead of getting remedial training (read: a pat on the ass and a try better next time) how about you get canned, or thrown in front of a bus, if you miss a bomb? If I go to Dunkin Donuts and order a medium regular, but 43% of the time I get handed a turd sandwich, I’m betting that employee doesn’t have his job very long.

And just to throw some sports in there, I wish Lofton would have gone after Beckett last night. Unless Kenny pulled some brass knucks out of his jock, Beckett would have been breaking osteoporosied bones left and right.

Pic: Time.com

He's the Product of a Fish and an Alien, but you came close.

Courtesy of Fanhouse

I figure I should chime in on the whole Joe Torre scenerio from yesterday and what I personally feel about the entire process.

First off I think that Steinbrenner got exactly what he wanted. I don't think he wanted him back, I think that they took a over a week to cool Steinbrenner down and see if the rabid Torre support would go away and when it didn't he felt pressured to offer him a contract. And was probably pleased when it was refused.

Now this is what I personally feel. Let's face it, the dynasty has been over for a long time. It's been 7 years since they've won a World Championship, 4 since they reached the World Series, to put it bluntly they have underperformed. The last time they won I was a senior in high school. Since then we've witnessed the biggest collapse in sports history and 3 straight ousters in the first round. Not good. And this is why I think they offered him a completely fair contract. Joe Torre should not be making twice the salary of any manager in the majors. They offered him a deal in which he would still garner 1.5 million more than the #2 man, and that's if he missed out on all of the Yankees goals. If he didn't make the World Series next year it would be time for him to go. I personally think Torre should have just taken the ego hit and signed the deal, but I'm not going to kill him for rejecting the deal.

So where do I sit now? Relatively indifferent to the whole situation. I don't believe for a second that Torre being retained has significant impact on whether or not the Yankees will be able to bring back Posada, Mo, Pettitte and Arod. If Girardi or Mattingly there will be absolutely no impact at all. If an outside guy is brought in, I don't think it makes a major deal either.

As for who I want as manager, right now I'm equally indifferent. I just don't think it will be a precipitous fall no matter who they bring in. They have the largest payroll in baseball by a mile, and now they have low paid burgeoning talents to supplement the team with. The Yankees are going to be fine in 2008 and beyond. Joe Torre in reality was probably the least important of the five (Mo, Posada, Pettitte and Arod) for the future success of the franchise.

Basically I'm just glad it's over and everyone can just move on.

I really can't stand this man and his non-hetero cowgirl up slogan. No man ever to wear a Red Sox uniform was more annoying, and there will never be a moment when I forget that his shitty ass was received the biggest walk in Red Sox franchise history. Go away...

HT: Boston.com and Tone

I feel the mediocre results already.

5. Detroit Lions (-1 1/2) vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
I'm going to keep betting against Tampa Bay in the #5 spot until I'm right. The Lions really shouldn't be the favorite in this game, but I don't care, eventually Tampa is going to show people that they really aren't good and that starts now.

4. New England Patriots (-17 1/2) at Miami Dolphins
Their top two running backs might be out this weekend, but really is that relevant? Do they even really need to run the football? Can't Tom Brady just throw 50 times for 420 yards and 5 tds? And will the Dolphins even threaten to score this weekend?

3. Tennessee Titans (-1 1/2) at Houston Texans
Homecoming for Vince Young? Vince Young is a big game quarterback and last year he had a nice homecoming, my guess is that this weekend, quad injury or not, he straps on the pads and drops the Texans.

2. New York Jets (+6 1/2) at Cincinnati Bengals
The Jets are going to lose this game on the final possession when Mike Nugent either shanks the game tying field goal or Chad Pennington throws a duck which is intercepted while attempting to get into the end zone. Thus they lose by 3, I'll take the points and more misery.

1. Minnesota Vikings (+9 1/2) at Dallas Cowboys
The Cowboys are a very good team, and should put up a boatload of points this weekend in a bounce back game. However, you just do not give Purple Jesus 9 1/2 points, it's insulting and because of that he will rush for 150 yards.

Survivor League Pick: Death to Norv Chargers

Continuing the hot streak now that you douched thousands of people over.

Non-Spread Picks
I picked all the favorites I think, so that's lame...

No serious crimes this week, which is nice, but just proves that you don't need to do something horrendous to be considered a moron. 1. Eric Schnupp - Some may choose to call him the Biggest Waste of Oxygen this weekend, I prefer to call him inspiration. When your team sucks, as Baylor most certainly does, can you think of any better way to motivate the troops than urinating on a bar the night after another painful loss. I don't know if I can. 2. El-Hadji Diouf - If you were the best player for your national team and you were only 26 the logical progression would be what? Captaincy? Or... retirement. Why because they were no longer paying for his plain flights. This coming from the same player who admitted to getting thrown out of Premiership games on purpose. 3. EA Sports - Video games aren't just for kids plenty of adults play them as well I know. But there are a lot of kids walking around the aisles who will grab EA sports games and think to themselves, wow Shawne Merriman is cool or if your Latin Luis Castillo es un gran chico. And now the children are idolizing steroid users. Good idea EA. 4. Manny Ramirez - Manny doesn't care about losing and doesn't care if he makes a mockery of the game and of the opposing pitchers. The moral of story is that the only thin that Manny Ramirez does that should be taken seriously is hit a baseball. Other than that every single thing the man does should be taken with a grain of salt. Get Your Vote On Last Weeks Winner: Dave Wannstedt

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Everyone needs something to keep them occupied on Friday afternoons so the Friday Video Blowout was born. Spend your next few minutes, laughing, crying of laughter, pissing your self, whatever, but mostly wasting your companies time.

Videos, in order, courtesy of Lion in Oil, 100% IR, Extra Mustard, Break.com, Awful Announcing, Who Ate All the Pies, The Offside, EDSBS, Fanhouse, The Offside again


Even NBC Programming makes fun of how much ND Sucks this season.


I enjoyed the ding noises at the end. Japanese Sound effects are great.


Noooo, no more sunbathing.


That's why we let the woman set the table in my family.


I certainly could go for a face rape this weekend.


Perhaps they should ease up on the Red Bulls in the booth.


Spain's advertisements are very intimidating.


He cashed in his ticket for the pain train.


Maybe my grammar is better than AI.


Best Soccer Skills Ever.

Dave Wannstedt took the Pitt in 2005 with the intentions of turning his alma mater into a powerhouse in the Big East. Coming off 5 straight bowl appearances including a Big East Title and trip to the Fiesta Bowl, it appeared as if Wanny had landed in a spot where he could be successful. And thus far that couldn't be much further from the case.

During his first two seasons Wanny went 5-6 and 6-6 respectively and missed out on the bowl games. This season Pitt, for the first time under Wanny, came in with minimal expectations and have thus far lived up to that status. Sitting at 2-4 with losses to impostors with good record Uconn and UVA as well as Wanny's mental breakdown against Navy it appears as if for a 3rd consecutive year Pitt will miss out on the Bowl season. After 3 years of ineptitude, one would expect Wanny to be on the hot seat and he is, with the already started FireDaveWannstedt site.

So what exactly could make this a worse year for Wanny? In the offseason Wanny partially tore his Achilles tendon and when given the option of rehabilitation or waiting until the offseason for surgery, he selected the latter. Tuesday while walking in the hallway he made a sudden movement and ruptured the tendon. In addition, earlier in the year he hurt his knee during a charity run, so when he went under the knife he got the double your pleasure double your fun surgery. The surgery will force Wanny to ride around in a motorized scooter this week and coach the Panthers from the booth.

For Dave Wannstedt it has most certainly been a bad year.

HT: Fanhouse

5. Kansas Jayhawks at Colorado Buffaloes
No one believes in the Jayhawks this season because they have beaten one good team, in cross state rival Kansas St. This weekend the Jayhawks face one of their tougher Big 12 North opponents in an effort to prove a bit more that maybe they are for real. The Pick: Mangino celebrates at the buffet.

4. Michigan St. Spartans at Ohio St. Buckeyes
From my perspective this is mostly a big game this weekend from a record point of view, and not really because of the teams playing in it. Michigan St. is not particularly a good team despite the 5-2 record, but as the rest of the country has noticed you don't need to be good to pull off a big upset. The Pick: The Buckeyes don't fall this weekend

3. Florida Gators at Kentucky Wildcats
Nothing like coming off the biggest win in program history and facing the defending national champs right after. There is no time for the Wildcats to breath, a loss and they are effectively out of the SEC East race. So will they come up big 2 weeks in a row? The Pick: No, Tebow surpasses Woodson on the Heisman watch.

2. Auburn Tigers at Louisiana State Tigers
No game in the remainder of the regular season is bigger than this one for LSU. Not only is Auburn the best team they have remaining on their schedule but a beat down of Auburn gives them a comparison advantage over Southern Florida which is always useful in the human polls. The Pick: Geaux Tigers bounce back.

1. South Florida Bulls at Rutgers Scarlet Knights
The Bulls are in an intriguing position, they have the wins, but people still do not believe in them. A win in Piscataway could go a ways to helping that perception, however last season the Louisville Cardinal National Title hopes were dumped on a similar Thursday Night on the same Turnpike exit. So what will it be Bulls? The Pick: The Bulls Barely Sneak By.

Who cares if the Red Sox lose? I don't and apparently Manny doesn't either.



Actually both of those apathetic opinions are lies. I care if the Red Sox lose because I don't want to continue to see multiple Boston championships. And Manny just is an idiot who doesn't speak to the media for a reason, he doesn't think before he opens his mouth and he says stupid stuff like yesterday. Really there are two ways to look at this, either he just doesn't think before he speaks and obviously cares about winning and losing or Manny is all about himself, explaining his ridiculous celebration on Tuesday, and really would not be at all devastated with losing to the Indians.

Personally I'm just going with he's everything rolled into one a selfish idiot who does care if they lose.

The Degrees of Loss Separation is a simple concept, I go out and find a highly rated team with some losses playing against a crappy team with lots of losses. Next I find a chain of losses which proves beyond a shadow of a doubt (not at all) that the underdog is going to pull the major upset and storm the field. The Final Outcome is calculated simply: Add up the scores of the losers, add up the scores of the winners in the degrees of loss separation and divide both by the # of degrees.

The Game: Notre Dame Fighting Irish vs. Southern California Trojans

Let's get this series of posts started off with a bang. This weekend Southern Cal, the former #1 team in the country, heads into South Bend to take on historic rival and 2007 team of misery, the Notre Dame fighting Irish. This season the Irish rank amongst the worst teams in the country in both offensive and defensive production. Quite a combo. Meanwhile the Trojans have taken the coveted Jeweled Shillelagh each of the past 5 seasons and come into the weekend a 17.5 point favorite.

3º of Loss Separation : ND beat UCLA beat Stanford beat USC

Coming off the loss to South Florida the Auburn Tigers returned home for their conference matchup versus the bottom feeding Bulldogs and were unceremoniously dropped. Two weeks later the Tigers went into Gainesville and knocked off the defending champs whom after another loss to LSU rebounded last week in Lexington for a big win over the Wildcats.

Final Outcome: Notre Dame 29 USC 15

So if you thought that the loss to Stanford was stunning and upsetting to Trojan fans, just wait until the Trojans go into South Bend and get absolutely pounded by the worst Irish team in my lifetime. This 29 to 15 outcome just may end in Charlie's Staples bursting in excitement.

Sometimes the difference between winning and losing a football game in the end comes down to a single play. Two weeks ago the Cal Bears were the beneficiary of such a situation as Cameron Colvin of the Oregon Ducks attempted to tie up the game by reaching the ball into the endzone, only to fumble the ball away for a touchback. This single play in the end sealed the victory and eventually the #2 ranking for Cal. Two weeks later that karma came back to haunt them. Down three with 14 seconds to go within field goal range, Coach Jeff Tedford sent out Freshman Quarerback Kevin Riley to take one sole shot at the win and the endzone. Using his natural instincts rather than his brain, Riley was pushed out of the pocket and decided to scramble rather than throw the ball away and was subsequently tackled. Additionally after being tackled and with the clock ticking away he did not instinctively get his squad to the line of scrimmage to spike the ball, but rather sprinted off the field hoping the field goal unit would have time to jump into action. So the question to ask is, who do you blame for this situation? The freshman quarterback who made all the wrong split second decisions in the closing seconds of his first college start? Or the coach for getting greedy and going for the win and trusting his wet behind the ears quarterback rather than simply kicking the field goal and trusting your team, the better team, to win a home overtime game. Video Below...

Opinion Polls & Market Research

HT to Fanhouse for the video

I find myself to be somewhere in between the middle of the general consensus when it comes to celebrations. Sometimes I'm perfectly fine with over the top celebrations and other times I think they're close to disgraceful. Last weeks walkoff homer from Manny Ramirez I was the former. It was a walk off homer, it's cause for massive celebration. If you want to sit in the box and stare at your majestic game winner go ahead, you in fact probably should make the moment last as long as possible. Last night however was completely different.

Back in the ole Fraternity days, I was thrust in Red Sox Nation and there were plenty of tolerable fans who were knowledgeable about baseball and understood the difference of game situations. And then there were a few who would jump up and down as if the the Red Sox won the Series with every beneficial moment regardless of the game situation. This absolutely drove me crazy. If your team scores a run to cut a deficit from 5 runs to 4 runs it's cause for muted celebration, not running around the fraternity house yelling at the top of your lungs.

And this brings me back to Manny. Last nights homer was semi historic, back to back to back home runs is a historical playoff accomplishment which has only been accomplished once prior, however in the grand scheme it simply cut the deficit from 5 runs to 4 runs. It wasn't that important of a hit, at the end of the game the Red Sox lost by the same exact score. So instead of treating the home run as what it was, a hit to inch the game closer, Manny once again treated it like he had hit a walkoff homerun, complete with spirit finger waving, a staredown in the batters box, and a leaping hug into Papi's arms while entering the dugout. Simply put, he acted like a complete ass last night. He showed up Indians pitcher Jensen Lewis, who proceeded to shut down the Sox the next 2 frames, and should not be surprised if sometime early in the season during a Red Sox/Indians series he receives a nice 95 mph circular rib massage.

Growing up a pitcher in Panama, Rockies' Closer Manny Corpas had one idol whom stood above the rest of Panamanian Baseball Players, Mariano Rivera. Corpas was only 13 when Rivera introduced himself to the world as the Electric Shutdown Setup man for the 1996 World Champion New York Yankees. Who else would a boy growing up in the same city idolize?

Over the course of the next 4 years Rivera would solidify his status as the greatest postseason reliever of all time and further the indelible impression he made on Corpas. Fourteen years after Rivera’s introduction to America, Manny Corpas is bursting onto the scene in a way only previously seen by his idol. Let’s take a quick look at some of Mariano’s greatest postseasons in comparison to Manny's thus far:

1998 NYY 0Ws, 0Ls, 0.00 ERA, 10 Games, 6 Saves, 13.1 Innings, 11 Ks
1999 NYY 2Ws, 0Ls, 0.00 ERA, 8 Games, 6 Saves, 12.1 Innings, 9 Ks
2000 NYY 0Ws, 0Ls, 1.72 ERA, 10 Games, 6 Saves, 15.2 Innings, 10 Ks
2001 NYY 2Ws, 1Ls, 1.13 ERA, 11 Games, 5 Saves, 16.0 Innings, 14 Ks
2003 NYY 1Ws, 0Ls, 0.56 ERA, 8 Games, 5 Saves, 16.0 Innings, 14 Ks

2007 COL 1Ws, 0Ls, 1.04 ERA, 7 Games, 5 Saves, 8.2 Innings, 6 Ks

If someone told you to strip away the year and the team info and look at those numbers and would you be able to distinguish a difference? Corpas's numbers flow smoothly in with those of his hero and even have the potential to be better. Through the first 2 rounds of the postseason Corpas has a combined 5 saves and one win, during Mariano’s illustrious postseason career his largest save total in a single postseason is 6. Thus a lone save for Corpas in the World Series will tie his hero’s high water mark and any additional save would set a mark not yet touched by his boyhood hero.

Only time will tell if Manny will join Mariano amongst the greatest closers of all-time, but for atleast this single October he can be mentioned in the same breath as his idol. So Manny the next time you are in the same stadium as Mariano, you can forego your shyness and introduce yourself to your childhood hero. You'll have some similar experiences to talk about.

Only 10 more games to go in the regular season so join now to increase the bounty on Tom Brady's Knees. $1 dollar per person in the group to the tearer of the ACL, sounds like great a incentive to all of those AFC rivals the Pats are set to play.

Thanks go to KSK for pointing me in the direction of this valiant cause.

With the Joe Torre era coming down to a decision some time in Tampa after a meeting of the Yankee Figureheads, Don Mattingly apparently has informed Yankee brass that he does not think he is ready to manage the ball club. To this I say there are only two different views of Mattingly you can come to, is he overly loyal to Joe Torre and is giving off statements to attempt to help Torre retain his job or is he that much of a wimp that he does not want to supplant a universally loved and successful manager whom the fans are against getting rid of?

Hey Guys its Kaz Matsui again just saying hi to all my fans out there. I especially want to say hi to all of the Met fans out there. Can you believe that I'm going to the World Series this year? It's only been a little over a year since the Mets organization traded me against all of the support I received from the wonderful fanbase in New York. I understand how in agony you guys were last year when you were getting eliminated in Game 7 of the NLCS, all because you were stuck with Jose Valentin as your second baseman. But I know that all of you are still in my corner and can't wait for the possibility of me walking around the diamond with the World Series trophy. That'll be great won't it, if since my entry into Major League Baseball I had more World Series rings than the Mets.

And how about the fact that I had the most RBIs in the NL in the first two rounds. How great is that? You all definitely saw it coming. 8 RBI and a .310 average, man did I put it together this postseason so far. Not to mention all of the terrific double plays myself and Tulo have turned thus far. If it wasn't for Matt Holliday being such an animal maybe I would have won the NLCS MVP, oh well I know I had the Mets fan vote regardless.

I'm going to get going though. Gonna rest up for a few days and back to practice for the start of the Series. Thanks again for all the continual support, feel free to wear all of your Met Kaz Matsui apparel over the next few days.

1. "So that 2 year period without a Superbowl? Ya I didn't like that, let's not let that happen this year."
2. "Hey Peter King and all the asshats out there that suggested that I was only good because of Cameragate. 21 and 2. I'm on pace to throw 56 touchdowns and 6 interceptions this year, so how about you shut the f*ck up."
3. "Hey Bob, thanks for agreeing to part with all those draft picks for Wes and Randy."
4. "Hey Tom, stare at the cameraman with a look that says f*ck the nay sayers."
5. "21 touchdowns, 3 Superbowls and I bang supermodels. So why is Peyton exactly mentioned in the same sentence as me again?"

Wow You Guys Suck: St. Louis Rams, At the beginning of the season there were a bunch of experts who believed that the Rams might take the NFC West. After 6 weeks the only thing they may be taking is the #1 one pick in the draft. Runners Up: Where's the Vaunted Cincy Offense, The Falcons have no Offense Whatsoever

Cough Cough Cough: The New York Jets, 2nd and 1 from the 4 down 7 points with under 4 minutes to play. Exectuion of any play puts you in the endzone regardless of poor play calling. Instead the Jets could not execute. Run with Thomas Jones no blocking 3rd and 1. QB sneak, no push on the line 4th and 1. Fade Route under thrown, game over. Runners Up: TO the Patriots enjoyed their post game popcorn.

This Scarecrow Needs a Brain: Brian Schottenheimer and Eric Mangini, I don't really need to elaborate this point as I already have. When you need one yard and your running back has 130, pound the rock. Runners Up: Brad Childress is lucky Purple Jesus only needs 20 carries to destroy the Bears, Give Purple Jesus the rock, Vince Young should not have agreed to the Madden Cover.

The Shocker: Vinny Testaverde, Last weekend he wasn't on a roster and was probably just throwing the football around the backyard. The following sunday somehow he's starting for an NFL football team and winning. Raise your hand if you thought Vinny was going to win a football game this season. Runners Up: Tampa Bay has a big lead in the NFC South after 6 weeks, Cleveland is 3-3, what the hell.

The Pimp: Purple Jesus, It's doubtful that there will be a better case this season for anyone to strap a team on their back as much. I'm just glad Purple Jesus only faced the Jets during the preseason else he might have rushed for 400 yards. Runners Up: LT hates playing the Raiders he always struggles to a limited 4 touchdowns, Tom Brady look at me I have 21 touchdowns in 6 games.

You Got JAKKED UP: Brittle Kurt, Kurt Warner got knocked out of an NFL game. Surprise Surprise.

My Fantasy MVP: Purple Jesus, I do enjoy the fact that I drafted Purple Jesus in both of my leagues this year. Too bad in one league I was facing an LT Brady combo and got crunched anyway.

New York Jets MVP: Thomas Jones, enough on the negatives of the Jets. I've already slaughtered them twice during this post. I'll give some love to Thomas who for the first time this season looked like an excellent accusition in running for 130.

My Picks

My Picks: 7-6
Preseason Picks: 10-3
Picks Vs. Spread: 8-5

Pretty weird how my preseason picks were that much better than my actual picks this week. Not sure if that makes much sense.

After another weekend of shocking upsets to the top ranked teams in America the Ohio St. Buckeyes have somehow snuck into the top spot in the AP Poll, the Coaches Poll and the BCS Poll. The Buckeyes are essentially the #1 team in the country by default, they are amongst the few undefeated teams left in the country and were the highest ranked of these squads in the preseason. This equals the top spot.

However, in my weekly poll I have them outside the top 11 essentially because they have yet to beat a good team. And looking at their schedule I do not see how they will ever make a dramatic climb in my poll when the teams ahead of them will continue to beat better squads. By any standard of calculation or reasoning the Ohio St. Buckeye schedule has been a cake walk and will end up being amongst the weakest schedules of any top team.

Schedule Thus Far

Currently the Buckeyes 7 wins. Amongst these 7 teams not a single team received a sole vote for the AP poll. Not one is ranked anywhere near the BCS top 25. Discounting the 1-AA Youngstown St. (5-2) victory their opponents combined record is 15-19. Their best victory came against Purdue whom was throttled by Michigan this weekend and whose only victory over a .500 team is against 4-3 Central Michigan. In simpler Purdue is not good. The Buckeyes have played no one of consequence and certainly have yet to beat anyone which would prove to you that they should be considered the #1 team in the country.

Schedule Going Forward

The Schedule going forward is significantly more difficult than the already completed 7 games but to put it bluntly the Buckeyes will never have a signature victory during this season unlike last seasons victories over 1 loss Michigan and the Texas Longhorns. Let's do a week by week rundown to show that Buckeyes will not have a signature victory during the regular season.

This week their opponent is 5-2 Michigan St., a squad who lost to Northwestern. No more explanation necessary.

5-2 Penn St. follows, in Happy Valley. This is one of the Buckeyes 2 chances to proclaim a big time victory, however, the Nittany Lions are currently ranked in the low 20s in the poll and outside the BCS top 25. A win against Penn St. would mark the Nittany Lions third loss of the season. Not your ideal signature victory.

5-2 Wisconsin is next. And while they should be 7-2 when they head to Columbus (Northern Illinois & Indiana), the Badgers have failed to show up in their other two big games this year. Why should a victory be proclaimed anything dramatic.

5-2 Illinois is next in Columbus. The Juice and Co. face Michigan this weekend, I expect a loss and even if they do garner a victory over the Wolverines it will still be a victory over Ron Zook and unheralded Illinois a team who lost to Iowa whom was on an 8 game conference losing streak.

Finally the showdown at the Bighouse vs. the #25 (BCS rank) Michigan Wolverines. The Wolverines are the only team in the Big 10 outside the Buckeyes to be in the BCS top 25 and if they run the table they will continue to move up and will be on 9 game winning streak and they are the arch-rival. But there is no looking past the Appalachian St. loss and the no show against Oregon. Topping the 39-7 Oregon margin is highly doubtful.

Now throw in the fact that most of these teams remaining on the Buckeyes also have to play each other and the chances of a signature victory grow even slimmer. Any number of these teams in this stretch of 5-2 squads could finish with loss total of 5 or 6 at the conclusion of the season.

What's the Conclusion?

So what can we learn from all of this? Putting it bluntly the Big 10 has done nothing to prove that anyone in the conference is particularly good this season. The Out of Conference victories can be considered thin at best and the parity around the league has left no top tier rival for Ohio St. At the end of the year the Buckeyes only chance for beating a team with less than 3 losses is if Purdue runs the table and given their performance at the big house last week that is highly in doubt.

Thus, at the conclusion of the Big 10 season if the Buckeyes finish unblemished we will still be able to proclaim the same thing about the Buckeyes, and that is we have no idea how well or where they stack up against the rest of the country. All we will know is that they pounded their meager out of conference schedule and were able to outlast all the rest of the not so great Big 10. So unless the Buckeyes lose a ball game before the start of December, the first time we will know exactly how good this team is will be when they suit up for the National Championship game.

Update: Here's a detailing of how porous the Big 10's Out of Conference Play has been.

If you know anything about my sports preferences or are a regular here at SOS than you know that I am a big Wolverine fan and you may or may not know that the sole reason for this is the Fab Five. Since those days of my youth the Wolverines legacy has been tarnished by the Chris Webber scandals and the NCAA's removal of the Fab Five's record.

15 years later however Jalen Rose just wants to let Detroit know that the Fab Five did in fact exist. Don't worry Jalen you left an indelible mark on me, you are the reason I like a team that can't win any bowl games or beat its biggest rival. You are the reason I like a College Basketball team that perennially underachieves and misses the tournament instead of liking the College in my backyard that pumps out NBA Players, has two national titles and had a sleepover camp in which I attended and met Ray Allen. You Jalen, Chris, Juwan, Ray, and Jimmy are the reason.

Remember this is all about Quality Wins and Bad Losses so if you lose to a top ranked team its not going to kill you, if you lose to Stanford it will and if you haven't beaten anyone good you will get no respect either. This weekly upset fest is making it increasingly more difficult each week to do the rankings, but here goes.

1. Louisiana State -Yes the lost this weekend, yes you can argue Kentucky via they beat them should be ranked ahead of them. However, they lost in triple OT to a top 10 team on the road, not really a terrible thing. And they have 3 huge wins. I'm keeping them at #1. Quality Wins: VaTech, South Carolina, Florida

2. South Florida - So much for the upset watch in Florida. The Bulls rolled their Floridian counterparts without even a threat of competition. If they run the table they should be in the title game, no questions asked. Quality Wins: @Auburn, West Virginia

3. Kentucky - It was triple overtime it was at home, there may have been a questionable call or two, but they pulled off the stunning upset at the end of the day. The Wildcats float near the top of the poll with the biggest win in the country thus far this season. And for this week I'll give them the borderline Cardinal win, after UL showed up and knocked off Cincy. Quality Wins: LSU, Louisville

4. Oklahoma - The Sooners have to be kicking themselves over their loss to Colorado, which in the coming weeks may end up in the Bad Loss column, but they sit nicely at 4 in this poll with some large wins. The Sooners should run the table the rest of the season and might very well end up in the title game. Quality Wins: Texas(n), Miami, Missouri

5. South Carolina - The Gamecocks played like garbage in the 2nd half yesterday but were able to hold on. The sit nicely in the top 5 with a loss to the best team in the country and two big time in conference wins. Quality Wins: @UGA, Kentucky

6. California - Unlike LSU I'm giving Cal a bad loss for this weekend. I don't care if you're QB is out and you made a big last second mistake by not getting out of bounds, the Beavers were getting mauled by everybody this season. Losing to them is piss poor.Quality Wins: Tennessee, @Oregon Bad Loss: Oregon St.

7. Oregon - The mighty Ducks continue to throw up about a million points per game and their victory over Michigan looks better with each week as the Wolverines continue to throttle their Big 10 competition. It's unfortunate that their running back could not hold onto the ball against Cal.Quality Wins:@Michigan

8. VaTech - The Hokies have their one loss to LSU, again not killing them losing to the #1 team, and went into Death Valley and took apart little Bowden's boys. Next week's showdown against BC will put either into the poll ACC position. Quality Wins: @Clemson

9. Kansas - Reluctantly I put the Jayhawks in the top 11. They have no bad losses and they beat cross-state rival Kansas St. who pulled off a big victory over the Buffaloes this weekend. We'll find out more about the Jayhawks in the coming weeks. Quality Wins: @Kansas St.

10. Missouri - Perhaps I would no more about the Missouri team if you know the game that College Gameday thought was the biggest game of the day was on any form of television. But I guess it just wasn't that important. Either way losing in Norman isn't a disgraceful event. Quality Wins: @Illinois

11. Arizona St. - This spot was pretty tough to decide for me given their are three undefeated teams with little to no resumes and a few 2 loss squads with big wins but bad losses. In the end I went with the Sun Devils because atleast their biggest wins have come against teams that beat solid competition atleast one week in Colorado (Texas) and Oregon St. (Cal). Quality Wins: Colorado, Oregon St.

Dropped Out: The Zookers drop out after their closer could not come up with the finishing touches against a poor Iowa team. Arizona St. big win against Colorado is diminished. Florida St. should never lose to Wake Forest. Ohio St. dropped out because Purdue sucks they were completely throttle by Michigan and they haven't beaten a good team this season.

Noticeable Absences: The Top 2 teams in both polls. Why are they undefeated? Because they've played shitty team after shitty team. They should get no respect for the crap they've laid out thus far this season. I will give BC respect if they knock off Tech and the Buckeyes respect when they beat... Michigan I guess, man the Big 10 sucks.

Previous Weeks: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

(n) = neutral field

1. Maybe Smelley Cocks are a turn on in South Carolina, it is in the South.
2. Hey Ladies the cheese comes free with the package.
3. Look past the acne girls and look straight at that Smelley Cock, it's delicious and nutritious.








1. F*cking Kentucky? Are you god damn serious we're going to lose to Kentucky after beating Florida?
2. I attempted to change my name to Loss Miles but the court would not allow it.
3. Being the best team in the country is not fun, it's much more fun underachieving with superb talent.



1. We got engulfed by an Eager Beaver.
2. Why was our QB leaking Vagina Juices?
3. Who wants to be the #1 team in the country anyway.







1. I got my sweater half off Get it? Half off.
2. It is hot as balls in Miami, I really should have shaved off everything.
3. Noooo, why did you take a picture of me? I look like an idiot.









1. Countdown to Paralysis, T minus 2 seconds.
2. Coach Groh told me landing on my head will build strength in my spine.
3. I'm as upside down as our record. 6-1? What the hell?









Pinkel "So why exactly aren't we on National TV Today."
Stoops "I have no idea, you guys are actually good for a change."
Pinkel "Ya no kidding #11, how sweet is that."
Stoops "Well that's for today, tomorrow you will slide a bit."
Pinkel "True."




1. Roar, Butch Davis Kill Maim Destroy.
2. The Browns have as many wins as me this season. Damn it.
3. Powder Blue does not highlight my strong features.







1. Woo we beat Notre Dame just like everybody other team on the planet.
2. We're ready to be the most overrated #2 team in the history of college football.
3. I stole Charlie's Cheeseburger and it was fantastic.



1. Hey Look we Beat Stamford, I think we're better than USC.
2. Hi Mom
3. Again Horned Frogs > Trojans









1. Um why do we get a trophy when we beat Indiana?
2. What the hell am I going with a Brass Spittoon?
3. Nevermind, I have an idea, chugging contests out of the Spittoon tonight.

So I was looking through the Yahoo NFL photos archive from this weeks action searching for some photos of the Jets game and as I was perusing the archives I noticed something a bit odd. Namely a picture of Serena Williams. Even she had a confused look on her face like, "Huh the last time I was surrounded by football players it was for a gan..."


So naturally I was curious as to what this would lead me to. And well, it got a little weirder. First off the picture is of Tampa Bay Buccaneers receiver Ike Hilliard. The team they are playing? The New Orleans Saints, so that certainly isn't from this weekend. And then the caption was for a Kevin Youkilis (Shrek) home run during the ALDS off Jon Lackey. So essentially it was a completely random assortment of sports jumbled into a singular package.

4th and 1 from the 4 yard line and you go Split Back Shotgun and throw a fade route? A Fucking fade route are you serious? Do you not have any balls? Do you have absolutely no confidence in your offensive line whatsoever? Thomas Jones had 130 rushing yards you know? 130. One Three Zero. I'll repeat, One Three Zero. That's a good chunk of change and on first down he rushed for 9 yards. But why would we want to rush the ball up the middle when we can run a low percentage fade route perhaps because we're fucking idiots and we don't want to win. Instead we'd rather for yet another god damn game this season have a possession in the final moments of the 4th quarter where a Touchdown ties or wins the game and another possession with no results. 1 God Damn yard? Additionally why the hell did you run a QB sneak on 3rd down. Chad Pennington is not athletic.

Rinse, Wash, Repeat. Every week same god damn story. Choke in the clutch. Given an opportunity only to shit it away. 6 games down this season, 5 losses and soon to be 5 games behind the Uber Patriots. Might as well say it. Just End The Season.

And my weekend is instantaneously better.

Your slide just might be made of Styrofoam.

You can't touch this.

Poor Luke Never saw that TIE Fighter coming.

It's late, I know. Very late in fact. But stop your friggin bitching and just vote. 1. Tiki Barber - Just shut the hell up Tiki. Now I have to hear you on every single radio show trying to clarify that Tom Coughlin was just one of the many reasons you retired and not the sole reason. Great. How about instead of insulting your former coaches and former teammates you just shut the hell up. 2. Bill Belichick - Everyone knows by now the whole Bill Belichick film stealing scenario, no need to elaborate. Whatever the commissioner decided to drop down as a punishment was going to be seen by some as harsh and by others as lenient. Either way it shouldn't effect them for this season. 3. Donovan McNabb - One day perhaps we will beyond this everything is a black white issue. Quarterbacks get criticized Donovan, that's how it works. And people get booed in Philadelphia. You know what probably could have saved you from criticism this week? Completing that wide open crossing route on 3rd down on monday night. 4. Michael Vick- Hmm let's see. You're awaiting sentencing for a major crime which could be up to 5 years you sit around and you want to ease the tension. So you smoke a little weed and then you fail a drug test all but convincing the judge to make his decision harder. He just isn't very bright. Get Your Vote On Last Months Winner: Jose Offerman, via tie breaking executive decision

Opinion Polls & Market Research

On Tuesday Miller and Coors decided to merge the two companies into one. The deal gives a 58% stake to the boys of Miller and a 42% percent stake to the Molson Coors cats, however the agreement states their will be an equal voting share. So how will this really effect the average beer drinker?

The answer is... Probably not that much, atleast initially. The companies are claiming that the merger will save them a combined 500 million dollars per year. This will result from "reducing shipping distances, optimizing production and eliminating overlapping corporate and marketing services." All of this will be things that most people in the country will not see the difference. So if you expect Coors Light to disappear off the shelves, because it's horrible, in favor of Miller Light than you are mistaken.

Where they will be some publicly noted difference is in "corporate and marketing services". Currently Coors Light is the official beer of NASCAR and the NFL so sometime in the near future you may expect to see more and more Miller adds during these miserable racing events and beautiful football games. Meanwhile Budweiser is the official sponsor of just about everything else, including the MLB, NBA, NHL and 28 of the NFL franchises which you would have assumed fell under the Coors sponsorship of the NFL Umbrella. The combined money of Coors and Miller could in the foreseeable future challenge Budweiser for one or several of these sponsorships.

Additionally, if you go to a bar or a ballpark that typically doesn't have both, the joint venture could put a little squeeze down and force people to accept both brands. For instance of the 28 NFL Franchises which are currently sponsored by Bud, Miller and Coors could offer a package which include a wider variety such as Killian's and Blue Moon. Similarly they may be able to get better display space at your local liquor or grocery store as now because they have a more and more brands they have more power to guide the distributor to promoting their brands.

So after this Joint Venture is finally approved it will be interesting to see if they use the combined powers simply for the behind the scenes advantages or start to put on the attack on Anheuser Busch.

I feel the mediocre results already.

5. Tennessee Titans (+2 1/2) vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
I've gone against Tampa a lot this season and that's mostly because I don't think they are any good, and I don't quite comprehend why they have 3 wins thus far in the season. They have no running back, an old qb, an old #1 wideout and an old defense. We'll go with Vince Young

4. New England Patriots (-4 1/2) at Dallas Cowboys
The Juggernaut will not be stopped by a mere NFC team. 4 1/2 points is something to scoff at and the comments by T.O. will have Randy Moss showing up to be able to run to him after the game and get in his face and say, you are not in my league.

3. New York Giants (-3 1/2) at Atlanta Falcons
Maybe I'm missing something here but the Giants have won three straight games right? The Falcons are 1-4 right? The Dome really doesn't give any kind of major homefield advantage. The Giants are better on both sides of the ball. So I'll take this for a gimmee.

2. Philadelphia Eagles (-2 1/2) at New York Jets
The Jets will end up with the ball down by 3 with 3 minutes to play, they'll drive to midfield and then Chad Pennington will throw an interception and McNabb will come out onto the field to wind the clock out. It's the story of the Jets season, why wouldn't it continue.

1. Cincinnati Bengals (-3 1/2) at Kansas City Chiefs
I understand the Bengals defense is atrocious. They probably couldn't punch themselves out of a paper bag. Good thing the Chiefs offense is built as strong as a soap bubble. The Bengals offense is going to put up enough points to easily get by Herm's wounded soldiers.

Survivor League Pick: Death to Norv Chargers

Oh now that I don't pick your team to win you go out and smoke the Broncos by a million. Thanks for that you dick.

Non-Spread Picks

It’s not that I hate LaDainian Tomlinson, but I sure as hell don’t like him. I’m also not a religious guy, but if there is a God (whose name isn’t Tom Brady) then this little tidbit will be true. I was sitting there peacefully reading Uni-Watch this morning and the whole article was about typos. Near the bottom of the page there is a link to this article which states that Tomlinson has a tattoo with the words “MY INSPERATION” under his mother’s face. Now for those of you who can’t spell your way out of a paper bag, it’s “INSPIRATION.”

Now I’ve got some tattoos, one of which I’m not overly proud of, but that’s what happens when you end up in a tattoo shop at 4:00 a.m. in Cancun that lets you drink beer while you’re getting inked up. Long story short, at least it’s spelled right. (If Drew did it I would have a giant “FIGI” on my back. Translation: Mexican tattoo artist > Drew in the smarts department.) I put no thought into it and got the tattoo done by a guy whose primary language was definitely not English, and it came out just fine. I may have hepatitis A-K, but it’s spelled right.

There may be the minute possibility that the clown who wrote the article misspelled the word and thus has completely dashed my hopes and dreams for the day. We may never know, but just in case I would like to say, "Mom, you inspere me."

A lot of baseball related losers this week and one person who thinks concussions are funny. 1. Travis Johnson - What's the best thing to do after you knock someone out and give them most likely a career ending concussion? Of course jump over them and taunt them so that while they are not moving a muscle they know that they f*cked with the wrong defensive tackle. Or maybe Travis was just trying to convince Trent he was Batman for humors sake. 2. Duane Somers & Edward McConaughey - There's contradicting stories out there that says this may not be accurate, but lets play a long and say it is. How about them Yankee fans beating the crap out of a Red Sox fan for the sole reason that he is a part of the Nation. I hate you all and I'm not going to stoop to punching you all in the face. Too much effort. 3. Chien Ming Wang - Not like it's important or anything, two starts in a 5 game series. Not like getting hammered in both of them is going to negatively effect your team, or being so bad you can't even make it out of the 1st inning. Way to be the ace of the staff you assbag. 4. Dave Wannstedt - Apparently Dave has been so impressed with Norv Turner's shitty job this year that he is attempting to go above and beyond the call of duty and show everyone on the planet that he is in fact the worst coach in football. Down 3 in overtime against Navy at the two yard line after running the ball effectively he calls a pass planet. Failed. So he kicks a field goal right? Nope he goes for it, and well they don't get it. Get Your Vote On Last Weeks Winner: Daniel Barron

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Everyone needs something to keep them occupied on Friday afternoons so the Friday Video Blowout was born. Spend your next few minutes, laughing, crying of laughter, pissing your self, whatever, but mostly wasting your companies time.

Videos, in order, courtesy of CollegeGameBalls, Fanhouse, Deadspin, Who Ate All the Pies, Again Who Ate All the Pies, 100% IR, Awful Announcing, Home Run Derby, Again Fanhouse, Mavs MoneyBall


Stupid Notre Dame, why did they need to win this weekend.


Come on Waldman get a hold of yourself you big baby.


G-Unit sponsors the Atlanta Falcons Mascots? Nice.


Two saves for the price of one. Nice.


And the exact opposite. Also Nice.


What an absolute loser.


And a good sum up of the Yanks misery in video form.


Apparently Freddie Sanchez has trouble with the riser, put that in your scouting reports.


How the hell do people dig up news stories from the 80s?


Dirk does not F around with bugs.

I already made my bed and picked a Red Sox vs. Rockies World Series so I'm sticking to those picks. Anyway here's 5 quick reasons why the series will wind up in the favors of the Rocks and the Sox.

Rockies vs. Diamondbacks

1. Doug Davis and Livan are going to get hammered eventually.
2. Kaz Matsui needs to play in the World Series.
3. +102 to -20 are the respective Run Differentials during the regular season.
4. Rockies have home fans that care, Diamondbacks can't even sell out the game.
5. Remember the whole Team of Jesus Theme.

Red Sox vs. Indians

1. The Red Sox will not start JD Drew in game 1. Advantage Sox.
2. Tim Wakefield & Dice K > Paul Byrd and Jake Westbrook
3. Manny and Papi are unstoppable come post season.
4. Josh Beckett = Best Modern Postseason Starter.
5. I want them to lose, hence they won't.

And if you're forgetful, the Red Sox lost their series this June to the Rockies 2 games to 1, which included Beckett picking up his first loss of the season.

5. UConn Huskies at Virginia Cavaliers
This is an odd pick, but still the teams are a combined 10-1 for the season (Really is 9-2, Uconn Lost to Temple). Both teams have had, for the most part, cake schedules. So which one will prove to be the phony first, or is one team actually for real this season? The Pick: Huskies I guess?

4. Louisiana State Tigers at Kentucky Wildcats
Most would probably put this as the biggest game of the weekend. I however will not. I do not see anyway that the Wildcats defeat the best team in the country regardless of whether or not its in the Bayou or Lexington. The Pick: LSU Rolls

4. Wisconsin Badgers at Penn St. Nittany Lions
Let's just call this the over-rated preseason Big 10 bowl game. Loser is completely out of the mix for the Big 10 title if Penn St. hasn't already eliminated itself. A couple of weeks ago people might have thought this game would make or break the Big 10 season. Now? Not so much. The Pick: Joe Pa's boys end the Badgers hopes

3. Purdon't Boilermakers at Michigan Wolverines
The Wolverines have beaten one moderately good team this year in Penn St. The rest of their performances have been poor at best. If they can knock off Purdon't perhaps they have a chance at being a Big 10 contender. If they can't, well then Lloyd should be expecting his papers shortly. The Pick: I can't see the Wolverines losing to Purdon't

1. Missouri Tigers at Oklahoma Sooners
The Sooners have an outside chance at the National Championship game if they manage to run the table, while the Tigers are attempting to prove that they are in fact for real. If the Tigers do somehow manage to get out of Norman with a victory than they should immediately be thrust into the legitimate BCS title game contenders list. The Pick: The Tigers get Tamed

Just in case you don't know who John Hollinger is, he's basketball analyst for ESPN who has his very own and very complicated system as to how he ranks NBA players for each minute they are on the court. The list adjusts all the time and he recently came out with a projected rankings for the entire NBA this season. These projected rankings will leave anyone a little confused as to why Player A is ranked above Player B. Most people will focus on the top of the list, however my eyes float towards the sludge at the bottom for which Hollinger is so close but just misses.

In ranking all 328 players, whom played in the league last year and garnered 500+ minutes last season, he ranked Brian Scalabrine 326. Which means that he incorrectly thinks there are two players worse in the NBA than Scalabrine. This thought is utterly preposterous, there is no way that any player in the NBA is worse than Brian. Scalabrine is amongst the worst athletes to ever tie their shoelaces nevermind suit up in the NBA.

So who could possibly be in the same ineptitude sentence as Scals? According to Hollinger the Disgrace to Redheads Everywhere is better than Yakhouba Diawara of the Denver Nuggets (who?) and Jason Collins of the New Jersey Nets. Yakhouba went to Pepperdine and has a cool name, so he's better than Scals. And Collins started for teams that went to the NBA finals for which Scals was a bench warmer, so obviously he's better than bumbling Redhead.

I'm sorry John, you were so close to nailing the all important spot on your list, the NBA's worst player, but you fell just short. Shame on you, I expect a correction to the list at some point in time during the regular season.

During Antoine Walker's time with the Celtics he pissed me off for a several reasons, amongst them was the fact that he typically seemed out of shape for a basketball player. The sole season he showed up in camp slim and in shape, Danny Ainge traded him for a few white guys. Anyway now a few years later Antoine is being reprimanded for being overweight. How is this surprising to anyone?

I really never understood how a professional athlete who's sole objective in their profession is to be in shape and be able to run and be strong could be so out of shape all the time, but Antoine probably knows.

So I got around to watching the Tivo'd Jets game last night and while I already knew the results and the final score it was still incredibly painful to watch. After 5 games this season the Jets sit at 1-4 but easily could be 4-1 and that's what sucks so much about this season.

How They Could Be 4-1

With the exception of the Patriots game the Jets could have won every single game, here's a rundown of what could have happened or what did not happen depending on your prospective.

Raven's Game

The Raven's game was in the Jets hands on the final drive. Down by 7 the Jets had multiple opportunities including two passes to Justin McCareins whom easily could have brought down either to tie the game. With a catch the Jets would have held all the momentum heading into the overtime period.

Bill's Game

One unheralded culprit in the Jets poor start is their former 2nd round pick Mike Nugent. At the end of last season he was terrific and began to make the 2nd round pick look justifiable. This season? Not so much. In week 4 against the Buffalo Bills he missed a very makable 39 yard field goal at the half which would have put them up 10-7. They lost the game eventually by 3. Additionally, Pennington's final turnover on the last drive; if a completion was thrown the Jets would have been in position to tie the game with a field goal.

Giant's Game

Again the Nugent missed a makable first half field goal which could have lead to a 20-7 halftime lead. However the biggest play of the game was with the Jets driving and up 24-21 in the fourth quarter. If the Jets could have punched one in and taken a 31-21 lead or even fizzled out at the 23 yardline where they were and kicked a field goal to make the score 27-21 the Jets would have been in prime position. Instead Pennington threw a duck to the goal line which was easily intercepted by Aaron Ross and the Giants drove 99 yards to take a 28-24 lead.

Why They Are 1-4

Pennington's Poor Play

I'm sure after this weekend there were plenty of Jet fans calling for Pennington's head and I'll admit that he made some big mistakes but I'm not going to chalk him up as the biggest culprit. 2 of the 3 interceptions he threw were good plays by Giants defenders. Sam Madison made an excellent break on the ball from his wideout to jump a different receiver's pattern and Aaron Ross made an excellent play on the clinching touchdown interception. The middle of the interceptions when he just lobbed it into the secondary was inexcusable, so ya he's a culprit but still not the biggest.

No Run in Either Direction

What's easily the biggest problem with the New York Jets this season? They apparently aren't physical at all. The Jets after 5 games rank 26th in Rush defense allowing 138 yards per game meanwhile their offense ranks 29th in the league with 81.3 yards per game. The inability to run the ball puts even more pressure on Pennington's shoulders. And the inability to stop the run wears down the Jets defense and takes valuable time off the clock.

The counter view is that Pennington's inability to throw the ball deep gives the opposing defense the chance to focus on the run. I disagree with this view however, as when you watch the Jets on the offensive end their line simply gets dominated and gets no push. On runs to the outside of the tackle there typically is one or two defensive players on the wrong side of the line of scrimmage and you can't expect Thomas Jones or Leon to make that many people miss.

Overall Miserable Timing

The Jets basically have shown miserable timing in all of their games. In their three winnable losses they had the ball in the 4th quarter within the 4 minute mark with a chance to either tie the game or take the lead. In every single instance the Jets quarterback, twice Pennington and once Clemens, threw a game clinching interception. And this is just the largest example, the Jets have also taken bad penalties, or misfired on snaps, missed field goals, missed an easy tackle resulting in Plaxico Burress touchdowns. The Jets have done the wrong things at the key moments of the season and that equals losses.

In the End

You are what you are, and the Jets are a 1-4 team that has found a way to lose most of their games and even tried to throw away their lone victory. In order for this team to make the playoffs they most likely will need to go a remarkable 9-2 down the stretch and with games vs. Pittsburgh, @New England and @Dallas on Thanksgiving, the chances are close to none. So after 5 weeks of the NFL season the Jets have thrown away their chances at being a good team and have not taken advantage of the weekly opportunities that were put in front of them leaving me disappointed and overly depressed about this season.

I'm unsure whether it was ironic timing of the playoff loss or simply complete lack of knowledge of the fact that I am a Yankee fan but when I returned from vacation yesterday and checked the oft unchecked Facebook account I had a notice. I was offered an invitation to join the Red Sox Nation.

Needless to say I will not be accepting said invitation however I did think it was a well veiled salt in the wound attempt. Well done Mr. & Mrs. Naaman, well done.

I'm not going to say that my rankings are the best or perfect system, they certainly aren't, because well no system is perfect when it's all subjective. I just personally believe in the system of crediting teams for what they have done this season and against whom, but I understand the counterpoint of not lowering someone because they haven't played anyone good because you perceive them to be an elite team. Just opposite opinions. So I'm not going to kill people for the votes usually despite these gaps in opinions.

But after looking at the polls this week it's obvious to me that the AP as well as coaches poll voters were at Disney me with me this weekend. Why? Apparently they missed the fact that Tennessee beat Georgia. Not only did Tennessee beat Georgia, they throttled them 35-14 and the game was essentially over at the half when it was 28-0. So how in the world is Georgia ranked 24th in the AP poll while UT is 25th and in the coaches poll Georgia is ranked 23rd while UT remains unranked.

Both teams have 2 losses to good teams, UT's coming at #2 Cal and at #13 Florida while Georgia lost at Tennesee (obviously) and home versus South Carolina. Both teams have one solid win UT over UGA and UGA's win at Alabama. There resumes are overly similar and only a day earlier UT put the hammer down on the Bulldogs. It was right in front of your face on Saturday, it was on National TV, I even saw a few minutes of the game. So, what the hell am I missing here?

Oh I know, last week UT was unranked and Georgia was ranked 12th so of course a #12 ranked team shouldn't fall out of the polls. A very rational decision of course.

Additionally I stumbled across these 1,2 dirty name lists which are funny.
HT: Deadspin

Remember this is all about Quality Wins and Bad Losses so if you lose to a top ranked team its not going to kill you, if you lose to Stanford it will. This weekly upset fest is making it increasingly more difficult each week to do the rankings, but here goes.

1. Louisiana State - Welcome back to #1 Tigers for most likely a very very long time. With the dramatic comeback over the Gators the Tigers have racked up three wins against top ranked squads and jumping them in the standings is going to need a bad loss which I don't foresee. Quality Wins: VaTech, South Carolina, Florida

2. South Florida - The Bulls fall a few spots because well, they played a massive cupcake and beating Florida is a pretty solid victory. Quality Wins: @Auburn, West Virginia

3. California - So, apparently Tennessee doesn't completely suck. And now the Cal Bears have what looks like two enormous wins under their belts. And in reality are the only team right now that could foreseeable ever climb over LSU in the Quality Win poll this season if LSU doesn't spit the bit. Quality Wins: Tennessee, @Oregon

4. Missouri - Welcome back to the top 11 Mizzou and a lofty spot as well. Apparently that week 1 win versus Illinois should have helped you stay in the top 11 on a weekly basis. Who knew the Zooker would have a Big 10 contender this season. Quality Wins: @Illinois, Nebraska

5. South Carolina - Losing at LSU is not a poll killer. LSU is the best team in the country so losing there, well you should lose there. The reason why the Gamecocks aren't a spot higher is because Georgia got absolutely pummeled this weekend, so that drops that win a notch or two. Quality Wins: @UGA, Kentucky

6. Florida St. - I slighted the Seminoles last weekend by ranking them behind the Sundevils, this week they jump a spot above ASU and into the rankings for the first time of the season. However, the Clemson loss is increasingly approaching a bad one by the week. Quality Wins: @Colorado, Bama

7. Illinois - The Zookers are good this season? Really? Maybe all that recruiting he's been doing the past few seasons is paying off. I really have no idea how the Zooker could possibly have turned Illinois into a contender for the Big 12 title this quickly but it appears he has. Quality Wins: Penn St., Wisconsin

8. Arizona St. - The Sundevils just barely snuck by this week and they only have one big win this season. However, we're going to give the Colorado win more bonus points than say Rutgers, Clemson, or Purdon't because the Buffs themselves have a huge win under their belt. Quality Wins: Colorado

9. Oklahoma - For the time being we'll give Oklahoma a pass on the Buffalo loss being a bad loss and not let that take away from their victories over the U and the Longhorns. However, if the Buffs start to lose to their Big 12 rivals that will most likely end up in the Bad Loss column. However I can't jump them ahead of the two teams which beat the Buffs.Quality Wins: Texas(n), Miami

10. Oregon - I'm going to remove Houston from the Quality win category after the Cougars narrowly lost to the Crimson Tide. Maybe a tough decision but that certainly effects the Ducks slipping a bit in the poll. Quality Wins:@Michigan

11. Ohio State - I debated between Ohio St., VaTech and Cincy for the final spot in the rankings. I guess for this week you have to give the Buckeyes a quality win for knocking off Purdon't but call me a skeptic when it comes to Purdue being any good this season. They have beaten all cream puffs and the same goes with the Buckeyes thus far. Quality Wins: @Purdon't

Dropped Out: Wisconsin I gave them credit for an MSU win last week that well really didn't deserve much dap and then they lose to the Zookers, Clemson getting pounded at home means adios, Southern Cal losing to Stanford is a massively bad loss, Kentucky I'm sorry but that Louisville win apparently wasn't very quality, Kansas St. you can't lose to a fat cross state rival.

Noticeable Absence: Boston College who has played absolutely no one of substance this season. The best team being Wake Forest at 3-2 who has two wins against Duke and Army. Talk to me when BC beats a good team.

Previous Weeks: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Note: I changed this, I forgot about Illinois...
(n) = neutral field

Usually when you hear alcohol and hospital in the same sentence it involves the words stomach pump. For instance, Ole Rick tried to out drink a girl at a formal and went shot for shot until he turned blue and had to go to the hospital and get his stomach pumped in addition to other unmentionable acts.

Well apparently if you do exactly the right thing in Australia, or exactly the wrong thing depending on your outlook on life and intensive care, you can get yourself served three shots of Vodka per hour for a three day period. So what do you have to do to get this treatment? It's pretty simple just digest some Antifreeze and you'll be all set. Granted the man probably had no idea what was getting drip fed into his system but damn, three shots an hour for three 24 hour periods, that'll run you a minor fortune at the bar.

Hopefully for his sake it was not Rubinoff or Mr. Boston or the classy State Liquor brand of Vodka's else he may have a permanent life hangover.

Tip from Good Ole Naaman Fletcher

~Alright I'm back from the old vacation which was overly necessary and very enjoyable as well as pretty tiring. 6 am flights are brutal. Anyway I didn't catch much sports this weekend but I'll do a quick recap of the stuff that I did catch and what else happened.

~But first let me get to something that will make most of the people that regularly read this site pleased. While down in the ole Disney myself and the better half were having a little competition as to who saw more apparel. We strictly limited it to shirts and jerseys as they were much easier to count. On Saturday at the Magic Kingdom it was only a little back of the issue story and then we decided on Sunday at Epcot we would count everything all day. At well that was a lie because at about noon after being in the park for two hours I conceded. There were far more Red Sox shirts and jerseys than Yankee jerseys. It was overly depressing for me it wasn't even close. People from New England just flock their entire families in the Red Sox apparel, and those that weren't were in Patriots apparel. They blew the Yankees stuff away.

~On to the biggest headline of the weekend, the Yankees third straight demise in the first round. Obviously I'm not pleased about this. I missed basically all of the thursday night game while at class, I missed all of the Sunday win while bouncing around the parks and I saw the end of the Friday night and Monday night loss. So basically I only saw misery. I was very annoyed with the TBS broadcasters, they were brutal with the end of an era and end of a dynasty crap. They haven't won a world series in 7 seasons, the dynasty died with Paul O'Neil.

~Now onto the possibility of firing Joe Torre. I'm kind of indifferent to be honest. I understand that what they've done the past 7 years is unacceptable but honestly who are they going to get that will do a better job? I guess its just change for the sake of change, which may or may be a good idea. I really don't know what the effect of Mattingly, Girardi, Larussa or anybody else will have on the team. Furthermore I don't think you can blame Torre for the loss this season at all. The only questionable decision you can look at in hindsight is starting Wang game 1 instead of Pettite. But it really made the most sense to start Wang 1 and 4 as he would be better suited to come back on short rest than Pettite and bring Andy back in game 5. I thought it was the right move. You can easily make an argument that Cashman has been the bigger reason for the Yanks lack of World Series success in the past 7 years, just look at the pitchers he's signed.

~On friday night when I was watching the game in the restaurant I thought it was snowing in Cleveland. It wasn't.

~Wang is the big culprit in the Yanks suckfest. Sure other people were bad, like the Captain, but when your 'Ace' goes out and gets pounded twice you can't win a series. Look at who won the series thus far, Jeff Francis 2 runs and a Win, CC Sabathia 3 runs and a Win, Brandon Webb 1 run and a Win, and finally Josh Beckett Shutout and a win. See the theme?

~Overall it seems as if I didn't miss much in the baseball world, three sweeps and the Yanks shitfest.

~As for the Jets I DVR'd the game and didn't get to it yesterday. I was attempting to avoid the score entirely but on monday morning when I got breakfast and walked towards my table they had sportscenter on in the lobby and well, it flashed the Giant Jet score as soon as I turned around. So I know they lost. That's about all I know. I'll probably get to watching it quickly tonight which will probably further piss me off.

~The Bills Offense should be absolutely ashamed with themselves. 6 turnovers, 2 defensive tds and a special teams td and all your offense can muster is 3 points. Pathetic.

~I didn't catch much of the college scores but how the hell did USC lose to Stanford? And Notre Dame won? What the hell is going on in the college football world.

~Two of my players Santana Moss and Isaac Bruce apparently didn't play this weekend. I played them though and lost by 2 points from which I could have easily gotten from the Wideout on my bunch. Boo to that.

~Now back to the vacation notes just in case you were overly curious. I went to Islands of Adventure on friday after my 6 am flight. The Hulk is still a sweet ride. Went to the Magic Kingdom and then Epcot on saturday. Epcot is a lot cooler when you are older, because of the availability of booze. And afterwards went out to a Piano bar which was surprisingly cool. I flip flopped and did Epcot in the morning and Magic Kingdom at night on sunday. It worked out well cause the better halfs brother new people working on rides so we went on Space Mountain 4 straight times without waiting in the 40 minute line. That was nice. And yesterday we did Animal Kingdom in the morning which has a solid new Coaster and then MGM at night which is probably the least cool of all the parks except for the Tower of Terror, Aerosmith coaster and the Fantasmic show which is the best at Disney. So in essence I was a little kid this weekend, except for the boozing, and its great to be back in Connecticut. Or not.

Seven Hundred and Seventy Seven, that is a pretty high number. A number Barry Bonds is still shooting for a symmetrical number. So what does it mean for today? A day I get back from vacation and hit up one more enjoyable day of work. It means that's how many posts have been made on the websites that I have within my google reader and have missed on the five days I have been gone.

Since Thursday Evening at 5 when I left work I haven't checked much of anything so this morning when I logged in I expected the number of posts to be high but 777 is pretty astronomical for the 17 blogs that I subscribe to. In the lead of course are the of Fanhouse (246) and Deadspin (125) followed by the Triumvirate of Who At All the Pies (57), With Leather (46) and The Big Lead (45). Followed by the rest. So what does this exactly mean? Well nothing other than I have a lot of catching up to do.

Wow You Guys Suck: Denver Broncos, Simon is off, you're stuck with the Bear. It may not be as entertaining, but at least the punctuation will be correct. Anyway, the Broncos really just aren't good. The two wins they have they had to pull out their ass at the last second. Then the Chargers come to town and drop the Tomlinson hammer. If there is anything worse then the Broncos themselves, it's their own run defense, which gave up over 200 yds on the ground including a 14.7 yds/carry average to Michael Turner. Oh yeah, and this was also the Broncos worst home loss since Lewis and Clark we're heading through Denver. Runners Up: Seattle getting shut out by Steely McBeam and Co and managing to only have defense get 5 minutes of rest in the 2nd half, Every single human being on the field in San Francisco (9-7? You've got to be kidding me.)

Cough Cough Cough: Joey Harrington, Now we all know Joey isn't good, he proves it time and time again, and if I told you he was 16/31 on Sunday, you'd probably think that wasn't bad. And how wrong you would be, Joe Joe was 16/31 for 87 yds, which comes out to an astounding 2.8 yard average pickup with a pass play. Even if you just do it by receptions it's only 5.4 yds/catch. I'm 100% positive that's the worst performance I've ever seen. Runners Up: Matt Hasselbeck, count your lucky stars Joey Harrington is around to distract from your performance, Jon Kitna, God must have been watching the closest thing to perfection on Earth (read: NE Patriots) .

This Scarecrow Needs a Brain: Mike Holmgren ,Wrap your heads aroudn this one; the Steelers had the ball for 24:53 of the 30:00 2nd half. And that's without their two best recievers. That's just a matter of a defense being able to do absolutely nothing, and once they get that tired it's impossible. And obviously when the Hawks did have the ball they gave it back as fast as humanly possible. I've got nobody else to blame but Mike for this, for piss sake just them score to get the D off the field. Runners Up: Every coach who keeps trotting Trent Green onto the field, every member of the Baltimore/S.F. coaching staffs who were involved in that bore-fest.

The Shocker: Washington Redskins, Apparently the Redskins are legit. Either that or the Lions really aren't that good. You know what, that's probably it. Runners Up: San Diego laying a 38 point hurtin on Denver at home, the Bills almost upsetting the Cowboys. On a side note, if the Bills defense gets 5 turnovers from Romo, I'm predicting that each Patriots defender has 3 picks next week.

The Pimp: Michael Turner, A hundred yards rushing is a good day, 147 yards is very good. 147 yards on 10 carries? That's a good day and you're probably playing Perkins Home for the Blind or the Denver Broncos.Runners Up: Aaron Ross, two picks for the G-Men, one for a TD to seal the game, Tony Romo personally turning the ball over 5 times and still managing to win the game and throw for over 3 bills. (Get it?)

You Got JAKKED UP: Trent Green, I didn't watch to much football other then the Pats game, for a couple of reasons. 1) The two games that were on late were both ass kickings involving teams I don't like who were winning (Indy and S.D.) and B) I would much rather watch the Red Sox strap on goggles, strip off some pants and hose each other down with some Andre Extra Dry. So I'm handing this to Trent Green (who probably shouldn't have been playing at all with his concussion history) for for throwing a block with the "head-to-knee" blocking style, (Copyright 2007 NFL QB Association, All Rights Reserved) thus reducing his brain to pudding.

My Anti-Fantasy MVP: Deion Branch , He's pretty consistent usually, but apparently got a little banged up, then there was that whole problem with the offense only being on the field for 5 minutes in the 2nd half and getting shut out doesn't help either.

New England Patriots Anti-MVP: Randy Moss, 3 catches for 46 yards? That's a god damn disgrace and you know it Randy, get off your ass and do something.

My Picks

Simon's Picks: 10-4
Preseason Picks: If you think I'm looking these up, you got another thing coming.
Picks Vs. Spread: 7-7

The world is full of assholes. We see this every day. For instance, the d-bag on my ass at 6:10 a.m. this morning even though there was a perfectly good left lane for him to go be an asshole in. We see mothers throwing their drug-dependant babies at cops, congressman soliciting BJs in airport restrooms, guys trying to trade Dolphins tickets for some man-boy love action as Simon mentioned earlier, and everything in between.

Those are just the little things too; there are also the occasional genocides and the extraordinarily cowardly suicide bombers. And then somebody does something that restores the ol’ faith in humanity.

The Colorado Rockies voted to give a full playoff share to the widow of their minor league coach that was killed by a line drive this year. Not only is the woman pregnant, but she has two other young children as well, who will be throwing out the first pitch on Saturday.

The Rockies seem to be doing pretty well on their own lately, but this last karmic boost should make them a lock to win the whole thing.

Everyone needs something to keep them occupied on Friday afternoons so the Friday Video Blowout was born. Spend your next few minutes, laughing, crying of laughter, pissing your self, whatever, but mostly wasting your companies time.

Videos, in order, courtesy of Deuce of Davenport, AA, TBL, Perk is a Beast, Fanhouse, Deadspin, Fanhouse, EC, 100% IR, The Offside, Fanhouse



Poor poor Mr. Met. It's been a rough week.


He can walk woo, wait wrong guy.


Way to go teammates, start a brawl on top of your unconscious friend. Nice Job.


Wow he is a friggin tool.


Where were the gators that ate chubs hand?


So who was the jerk that loosened up the bolts? Not Cool Man.


Boo Hoo Hoo, it sucks so much to be a Florida fan. Only 3 National Titles in 2 years. Maybe he should start FireUrbanMeyer.com, that wouldn't be ridiculed.


No self respecting man drinks Coors Light.


This is a lengthy one, but if you don't have time I suggest skipping to the 5:50 mark. It'll be worth your while.


Goalie 1, Other Teams 0


Koreans. No wonder Samsung makes such good TVs. There's a little Korean behind each pixel.

I'm headin to Orlando for a long weekend. We'll leave Papa Bear in charge...

I should be back to posting come Wednesday.

Apparently Saddam is both a Wolverine and a Yankee fan who knew. The weak is just there after his disappointment after the Appalachian St. collapse and the thumbs up is a sarcastic one.

Michigan is playing Eastern Michigan which means of course that they are going to lose. Why? Because Eastern Michigan does not play in the Big 10 and Michigan can only defeat the crappy teams which play in the Big 10 this season.

Here's hoping that Eastern Michigan has a slow white Quarterback who has no athleticism at all, perhaps even a Paraplegic, that way Michigan won't have to worry about the QB scramble and can perhaps break their non Big 10 losing ways. Else there could be a very disappointed Saddam Hussein in wherever he is in the afterlife.

Because the suggestive picks were so bad last week (1-4) I'm doing it at random. Odd numbers between 3 and 11 on the ESPN picks.

5. New York Giants (-3 1/2) vs. New York Jets
Why? Because the Jets are pissing me off by their inability to close games. In addition the Jets should be exhausted with the lengthy travel time this weekend from their homes to the Meadowlands.

4. New England Patriots (-15 1/2) vs. Cleveland Browns
I'm unsure if they will put out a spread yet this season in which I will not think that the Patriots will cover. My guess is that I would be best served just picking them every single week regardless of the total points they are forced to give.

3. Atlanta Falcons (+8 1/2) at Tennessee Titans
Vince Young's squad always seems to win games but they don't seem to due it in blow out fashion. Yes the Falcons suck. But I'm going to be dumb and go with Joey on this one hoping that his two touchdowns thrown go to Falcons and not Titans.

2. Seattle Seahawks (+6 1/2) at Pittsburgh Steelers
The Seahawks have been relatively good this season. And they have made all their games close except for their beatdown of the Niners last week. So lets bank on the Seahawks again keeping the games close.

1. Baltimore Ravens (-3 1/2) at San Francisco 49ers
Alex Smith isn't that good. Vernon Davis hasn't shown himself to be that good. But they are both out and eventually you have to think that the Ravens defense learns how to step it up. At least this week they can focus their entirety on stuffing Frank Gore at the line. It won't be complicated.

Survivor League Pick: Death to Norv Chargers

I lost last week so what does it friggin matter. I hope one of those lightning bolts on a Chargers helmet finds it way to Norv's ass crack.

Non-Spread Picks

5. VaTech Hokies at Clemson Tigers
A battle between two teams needing to establish footing in the ACC. Tigers have a big win but a big loss the Hokies haven't played anyone remotely good other than their drubbing against LSU. The Pick: Hokies I guess?

4. Ohio St. Buckeyes at Purdon't Boilermakers
News to the world Purdon't is undefeated. How the hell did this happen? Oh they played Notre Dame, that boosts team moral and confidence levels of course. The Pick: Buckeyes by a couple

3. Red River Squirt Gun Fight
Apparently I was wrong calling this the battle for National Title Runner Up status. The Big 12 stinks and so do their top teams Texas and Oklahoma. The Pick: Oklahoma bring out a Super Soaker.

2. Kentucky Wildcats at South Carolina Gamecocks
The ole ball coach doesn't lose to Kentucky. No way no how. Lee Corso is even going to pick them this weekend. Maybe that's a bad thing.The Pick: Cocks of course.

1. Florida Gators at Lousiana State Tigers
Dulled down after the last weeks results, but still essential for both teams. For Florida a loss nails any hopes of back to back titles down and hurts their SEC chances for LSU a loss slots them behind many squads and makes their run to the title much harder.The Pick: Florida somehow bounces back.

A Day Early cause of the ole vaca coming up. Deal with it. 1. David Nugent - Mr. Nugent, I'm sure the best pick up on the planet is not sending someone a text message of your penis. I could be wrong, I have had a girlfriend for the majority of the year and I've never been the smoothest fella with the ladies but I don't think that typically works. 2. Tim McClelland - In the most pressure packed game of the season where each team is either in or one and done you would hope that the umpiring would not be controversial. Instead McClelland had an awkward and inconsistent strike zone the entire game, his crew blew the Atkins home run ball and McClelland himself got the final game winning play at the plate wrong. 3. Claire Lyte - So you're done with your daily lesson with your coach and former professional tennis player and your mom is a little late to pick you up. What to do? Oh I know how about your coach and you, a 13 year old girl, perform sexual acts together. That's not a good idea. 4. Daniel Barron - What the hell is up with people wanting to have sex with minors this week. 11? What the f*ck is wrong with you dude? He's 11. I hope you enjoy the federal pound me in the ass prison that you will be going to. And why would anyone really want to go to a Dolphins game. Get Your Vote On Last Weeks Winner: Michael Vick

Opinion Polls & Market Research

That is Brazilian National Team and AC Milan starting goaltender, Dida, taking a vicious hit from a Scottish fan during the Celtic AC Milan Champions League Matchup from yesterday. Let's just hope that Dida didn't suffer any career threatening injuries.

Courtesy of the Fanhouse

The last time I posted about my fantasy teams was in early July, and I sat at the top of all 3 of my fantasy leagues. Well now after a full seasons worth of work I can say I achieved the Fantasy Triple Crown. Three for three.

Dell's Herp Army
This was by far the worst of my 3 teams. In the finals I lost 4 of the 5 hitting categories with my lone saving grace being the cheap Stolen Base Category. So what won me the league? Cole Hamels, Yovani Gallardo and my diesel closing squad of K-Rod, Corpas, and Nathan. I won every single pitching category to take the crown.

Dreamboat's Sperm
This was by far my best team. I mauled the opposition in the finals. Utley, Braun, Vlad, Prince, Atkins, Holliday Carlos Guillen, Tejada, Bedard, Sabathia, Lilly, Corpas, Yovani the list goes on. I built a massive lead in the regular season and wrapped up the finals with ease 15-3.

Matt
Boring name, but my father is in the league and well I didn't pick my name anyway, I just took over for an existing team in 06 and they plugged me in as Matt. I took over the lead in this roto league in the early months and held onto the lead with relative ease in the last week after a little scare in early September. J Roll and CC might take home dual awards for me this year.

Remember the episode of Seinfeld where Kramer started swimming in the rivers of New York and eventually got a bunch of people to do the same. Well that certainly seemed disgusting to me. Those rivers had to have a ton of pollution and that can't be good for your body.

Well news out of New York today is a little bit more odd and possibly more disturbing. The Gowanus Canal which extends through the borough of Brooklyn was found to have not only extended amounts of pollution but Gonorrhea as well. Yes the Venereal Disease, Gonorrhea.

If you are in the Gowanus River Dredgers Canoe Club or have ever dated one you just might want to get yourself checked out this week. And if you ever decided to canoe in the river again, please wear protection.

I don't know about you but nothing I would say to this woman would ever have any kind Sexual Content in it at all. Never. Not a once. All business. And I might even have asked her to play offensive line on my flag football team.

Yes I pay no attention to hockey, during the regular season. Why the hell does it start already? Yes this is a couple of days late I guess but why play two games in London? And yes I need to do a seasons prediction. Why? Because atleast when I get these horribly wrong I will have an excuse. The Whalers won the Stanley Cup Last Year right?

NHL West Playoff Seeds

1. Detroit Redwings - Central Winners - Snooze the Redwings with the best record.
2. Mighty Ducks - Pacific Winners - Remember the Bombay effect is still in tact.
3. Calgary Flames - Northwest Winners - They have a black captain. That's bad ass.
4. San Jose Sharks - Teal is too intimidating for most teams to handle on the ice.
5. Minnesota Wild - Trading KG in the offseason will get them into the playoffs.
6. Dallas Stars - Tony Romo captains the stars to the postseason.
7. Nashville Predators - Country music and Hockey this is what Nashville does.
8. Colorado Avalanche - They always make the playoffs right?

West Conference Finals

Mighty Ducks over the San Jose Sharks - Because they are ducks and have shades of green in their body's they can deal with the intimidating teal effect of the Sharks.

NHL East Playoff Seeds

1. Ottawa Senators - Northeast Winners - Free Healthcare in Canadia, those Senators are good.
2. Hartford Whalers - Southeast Winners - Stupid Whalers...
3. New York Rangers - Atlantic Winners - Isiah takes over midseason and pulls double duty Rangers and Knicks.
4. Pittsburgh Penguins - lead by the uber talented and first ever major professional sports female MVP Sydney Crosby.
5. New Jersey Devils - Where else would the Devil Reside other than Jersey?
6. Buffalo Sabres - I understand the Buffalo jesey logo idea. But where is the Sabre?
7. Philadelphia Flyers - Philly are the comeback kids.
8. Boston Bruins - One of these years they won't suck balls.

East Conference Finals

New York Rangers over the Hartford Whalers -Chris Drury the new leader of the Rangers goes out to a strip club and has sex with one of the Garden's interns. This fires him up to play like the Stephon Marbury of the NHL and lead the Rangers to a stunning upset of the Whalers.

Stanley Cup Finals

New York Rangers over San Jose Sharks - I thought there was a Salary Cap in hockey? How did the Rangers sign two of the biggest free agents in the sport? An Alaskan named Gomez? And a Little League stud from Trumbull. In memory of the defeat of Taiwan in 1989 the neighboorhood boys do it again.

NHL Awards

There's way too many awards in the NHL, so obviously I'm not going to do them all...

Adams - Gordon Bombay, is their any doubt he's going to be the best coach in the league, give me an f'n break. (Perennial Pick)

Calder - Ooh the Rookie of the Year award this is a good one. Hmm, is Ryan Braun Canadian? I know he's Jewish, but Jewish Canadian? Probably not. We'll give him the award anyway. Dual Rookie of the Years for Braun. Congrats.

Hart - Who's got Hart? The one female in the NHL of course. Sydney Crosby.

Norris - Named after Chuck for being bad ass. Todd Bertuzzi should win this cause he was thug life when he punched that dude from behind.

Pearson - Alexander Ovechkin, cause he scores goals and goals make people happy.

Lady Byng - Someone I will lose respect for. Awarded for Sportsmanship? It's Hockey there should be none of that.

Vezina - Henrik Lundquist es un swedish pimp from Club Vandersexxx.

I'm gonna make this quick because A) I can B) I actually unfortunately do have a job C) I'm so depressed from the results of my regular season predictions and my football picks from the past weekend that well they're probably gonna be wrong anyway, so why elaborate on wrong. In fact why don't I just do it in bullet point format.

Cubs vs. Dbacks: Cubs in 4
1. There will be more Cubs fan in the BOB than Dback fans.
2. The Cubs have a better lineup with Soriano, Lee, and Ram that Ass.
3. The Cubs have better top 3 starters with Big Z, Lilly and Hill better than Webb, Dougie D, and Livan.
4. Sweet Lou > Bob Melvin
5. This is too early and not enough build up for cub fans dreams to be smashed.

Phillies vs. Rockies: Rockies in 5
1. Lineups are relatively similar in talent, slight edge Phillies.
2. Starting Pitching both stinks, Phillies have a better top starter but weaker afterwards.
3. Both Managers were on the chopping block midseason.
4. Both Teams had a hot September and a massive last week comeback.
5. The Rockies are the team of Jesus.

Red Sox vs. Angels: Red Sox in 3
1. Lackey's career ERA vs. the Red Sox is miserable, which might be an understatment.
2. Escobar was terrible the entire month of September.
3. The Angels don't have a solid #3 starter.
4. The Angels are still riddled with injuries.
5. The Red Sox have a better everything right now (lineup, bullpen, rotation).

Yankees vs. Indians: Yankees in 4
1. No one will remember Arod lighting up the Indians after the Yanks lose to the Sox in the next round. Similar to 2004.
2. CC just might win the Cy Young, the last time I saw an Cy Young front runner pitch he was giving up 6 runs in a do or die game.
3. Did you see Hoffman monday, he's a hall of famer. Now wait until Borowski is trying to close a game, that'll be a shit show.
4. Saddam might be a Yankee Fan, the Indians biggest fan is Drew Caray.
5. The Yanks and Sox matchups don't get enough their due love on ESPN and national tv. But playing in the playoffs the TV execs will have no choice to play the games so people nationwide can experience the rivalry for the first time. [sarcasm]

We'll make the next two rounds super quick. Why? Cause I probably won't get the first round right so again why elaborate on a series that probably isn't going to happen.

Rockies vs. Cubs: Rockies in 7
1. Again Team of Jesus.
2. The Fuego don't stop in the Rockies until the snow comes. Do they get snow in October?
3. Game 7 of the NLCS is a good time for the Cubbies to lose, it was fun in 2003 it will probably be fun this year.

Yanks vs. Sox: Sox in 7
1. Homefield Advantage
2. I picked the Sox to win the World Series, and unlike Steve Philips I will not change my picks constantly
3. I hope I'm a jinx

Red Sox vs. Rockies: Red Sox in 5
1. AL > NL, much greater
2. Red Sox Pitching > Rockies Pitching, much greater
3. See note 2 above from the ALCS
4. Jesus has scheduled a vacation the last week of October

The Template is 'done' with some bugs that I need to fix. Namely the columns were fine and then I tried to add a picture at the bottom of my posts and that was larger than the posts and it messed up the columns. I deleted the picture, but the columns are still figity. So it needs more work and a little bit of tweaking, but that'll probably wait a bit. For now atleast it looks better than it did before.

Thoughts from the peanut gallery?

The Patriots are the best team in the NFL this season and possibly the best team in NFL history and they still are playing without Seymour and Harrison. Hating them causes me nothing but frustration and grief. The only way they are going to start losing games is if they start getting a rash of injuries and I'm just resigned to the fact that the Golden Boy is not going to get injured anytime soon.

So what to do? This hate only leads to misery so its time to spread the hate to franchises and people that have helped turn the Patriots into the Juggernaut they are.

Oakland Raiders
All Randy Moss really needs to be content is to be on a winning team. If he's not on a winning team then his effort levels slip. So why did the Raiders who were obviously going to be a miserable team go out and get Moss who was going to waiver with his effort levels and then deal Moss, a certain Hall of Famer with obviously not

Charlie Weis and ND
Who knows just how important Weis was for the development of the Golden Boy into this generations Joe Montana, but he was there. He had influence and he helped him along the way. So guess what, now I hope Notre Dame loses every friggin game this season. And this is a rewarding team to hate cause they suck this season, so every week they get killed it makes you feel better.

Kyle Boller
Why Kyle Boller? Because he sucks and his miserable play lead to Steve McNair. And Steve McNair makes money. Money which the Ravens could not give to Adalius Thomas. Money which the Patriots had no problem finding to give to the 270 pound beast.

Georgia Bulldogs
As much as I may feel like it sometimes I can't root against the Jets. So why should I root against the Georgia Bulldogs? They produced Mo Lewis, and since I can't find anything about what Lewis is doing now with his life I might is well hate on the college which produced the man that made the Golden Boy the starting Quarterback. So Mark Richt you have another hater.

Wisconsin Badgers
Again due to a lot of linkage. It starts with the Patriots ability to Franchise Tag Asante Samuel if this was not in place the Jets would have shipped boatloads of money to Samuel which the Pats would not have been able to match. The Franchise tag which was originally negotiated in 1993 was renegotiated and agreed to by Gene Upshaw and NFLPA president Troy Vincent. Because Troy Vincent played for 4 different NFL teams I'm going to Hate on the college which produced him. So I hope the Badgers lose this weekend and continue to struggle in the Big 10.

Any other assclowns who have contributed to the Pats Dynamo who I should also be hating?

Wow You Guys Suck: Baltimore Ravens, If you're going to challenge for your division title and for AFC supremacy than there are some teams you should absolutely not lose to. One of those would be the Browns. Runners Up: David Carr showing that he definitely isn't an NFL QB, Rams offense despite no Jackson should have at least scored a little bit.

Cough Cough Cough: Brian Griese, Poor Poor Chicago Bears fans, little did they realize that not only did the Sex Cannon Suck but so did every single QB on their roster as well as their rushing attack after the dumb trading of Thomas Jones. He did throw that clutch TD pass to the Lions DB in the 4th quarter though. Runners Up: Chadwick Pennington throwing two bad INTs which lead to the Bills 2nd TD and the end of the game, Philip Rivers likes making turnovers in the 4th quarter.

This Scarecrow Needs a Brain: Norv Turner & The San Diego Front Office, Congrats Norv you are really inching towards a legacy as the worst coach in the history of the NFL. As for AJ Smith aren't you glad you were a big bitch and fired Martyball because you couldn't get along with his 14 wins and playoffs losses. Everybody in San Diego is rejoicing. Runners Up: Eric Mangini when you have 4th and 1 in Go territory don't pick up a delay of game because you wanted to run a QB sneak but the Bills were set, Adrian Peterson rushed for 9+ per carry yet got the ball twice in the 2nd half, makes sense.

The Shocker: Kansas City Chiefs, I begged and pleaded with my survivor pick for the Chargers to win. And somehow Norv Turner managed to get outcoached by Herman Edwards. How? The Chiefs offense is terrible, it's unreal just how bad the Chargers coaching staff is. Runners Up: Cleveland just torched the Ravens defense the first half, Wisenhunt and Grimm apparently really wanted revenge on the Steelers.

The Pimp: Osi Umenyiora, I really don't understand how this is possible in a football game. 6 sacks? At no point in time did Andy Reid think to himself, you know what I think we should be double teaming him? He is owning our Right Tackle. Apparently the answer was no.Runners Up: Daunte Culpepper's overall numbers weren't huge but 5 tds are, Brett Favre again what the hell.

You Got JAKKED UP: Jerricho Cotchery, A lot of people got hit hard this weekend but I just feel like pointing to a Jet who got lit up. Why? Because they suck balls. Pennington threw a duck high which Cotchery leaped up to catch, thus exposing his whole body to pain. Lots of pain.

My Anti-Fantasy MVP: Eli Manning, He didn't suck but he didn't do much, I guess I needed him to rush the passer. He could have gotten me a few sacks.

New York Jets Anti-MVP: Mike Nugent, Way to Doink one off the crossbar jackass.

My Picks

My Picks: 6-8
Preseason Picks: 4-10
Picks Vs. Spread: 5-9

Quite possibly the most miserable week of picking ever. I don't even want to look at what games I got right and wrong.

This guy really really likes saying Cocu.

Courtesy of Who Ate All the Pies

"Hi Met fans it's me your favorite former second baseman, Kaz Matsui. I just want to express my condolences to you as a fan base for your difficult week and point out that you guys can still root for me this week against your hated Phillies. I know how disappointed you all were when I was traded away but fear not Philadelphia is only a Two Hour drive from Queens so you even can take a trip down the Jersey Turnpike and see me in person. How exciting is that? You must feel better already.

And how about last night? Wasn't I great last night? I went 2-6 scored a run in the first, had the go ahead sac fly in the 6th and that huge leadoff double in the 13th. You guys all knew I was going to come through in the clutch. I didn't even have to say that, of course you guys did, you know how top notch of a player I am. Oh and didn't you love the charging off balance play I made as well? That was a good one, maybe even a Web Gem.

Alright guys I need to take some BP so I can get ready for the Playoffs instead of golfing and a flight back to Japan. Again I'll be in Philadelphia on Wednesday afternoon in the leadoff slot for a Playoff team unlike Jose who'll probably in a club drinking, so if you want to improve your mood I'm sure you can find some tickets on Ebay or something."

As I sat down last night at 7:37 to watch the Rocks and Padres I initially thought I was going to do a lot of Remote Control work. I'm addicted to Heroes and Prison Break and thought that I would have atleast mild interest in the Patriots beating the crap out of the Bengals. But I was completely wrong, my remote control remained idle for the entire night. Glued on TBS for the entirety of the best baseball game of the entire season.

The atmosphere, the intensity of the game and the nervousness you got watching the game were second to none. Last night is why people love sports. Every inning there was pressure, every inning either team could have taken it home. There was no reason to go to bed, to reason to change the channel, this was the best show you could possibly get.

The game had millions of story lines and great plays for which to keep you thinking and tuned in:

~Jake Peavy the Cy Young winner was pitching like garbage, yet was left in the game forever.

~Josh Fogg was not my hero.

~How were the Rockies going to piece together their bullpen for the rest of the game with Fogg getting dumped in the fifth.

~The Padres looked in trouble and immediately Gonzo goes deep and flips the switch on who you think is screwed. Then the Rocks fight back take the lead until the Padres tie it up. Then the Pads get the two run homer and the Rocks are in trouble. It was a roller coaster.

~Tim McClelland's strikezone was horrendous and inconsistent the entire game.

~The Kouz who has been mediocre at third base made multiple solid plays including a great play on Helton.

~Todd Helton hits a homerun in the biggest game of his career.

~Brady Clark blew a bunch of plays in centerfield which made you think what if Cameron was playing? Would Cameron have gotten to that diving ball that went off Clark's glove, or those two ball over his head? Would Cameron have gunned the runner out at the plate on the Sac Fly? Why was Mike Cameron in the game in Extras?

~How do the umpires and broadcasters not understand that balls don't ricochet 30 feet off of yellow padding? Atkins ball had to hit some kind of metal, aka the poll behind the yellow padding. Is that bar in play anyway?

~Atkins gets pinch run for for what reason, if this game gets to extras having Jamey Carroll kills their lineup right? And then Carroll gets a hit and the winning sac fly.

~The Padres continue to get the leadoff man on and bunt him over and continue not to score them.

~How is Matt Herges pitching lights out baseball? He's still in the league?

~Matt Holliday and his Batting Title and RBI race coming down to his final at bat.

~Holliday getting tons of MVP love by the fans and than blowing the Giles flyball in the 8th to tie the game.

~Jorge Julio is a miserable pitcher.

~In back to back days future Hall of Famers Tom Glavine and Trevor Hoffman have sealed the demise of their teams.

~And finally Matt Holliday never touched the plate.

I even got into commenting at Awful Announcing on their live blog during the latter portion of the game. During which people continued to question where Hoffman was in the early extra innings to which I responded with them wanting Hoffman to blow the save and that Bud Black is aware that Hoffman is in fact not clutch. Then when they brought in Julio immediately everyones comments went to 'oh shit' Julio is going to blow this game. And then Hoffman comes in and immediately gets rocked.

What a game.

Notes: I expanded on Hoffman being not clutch and possibly not a Hall of Famer this morning at EC if you want another read.

And by them I mean the two losers Jorge Julio and Tim Mcclelland...



Note* I guess this was a rash before the game was over post. Whatever I was annoyed. And they both still suck anyway.

This here be the Chokers Version...

1. "And what point in time this season did we show anybody that we were good."
2. "So much for the Red River Shootout being the Runner Up Bowl." [1]
3. "Remember when Simon picked us to lose in the Title Game, What an Idiot."








1. "Remember when we were good and we expecting to beat top ranked teams? Nope? Neither do I."
2. "So much for the Red River Shootout being the Runner Up Bowl."[2]
3. "It's Division 1 Football, It Ain't Intramurals Brotha."



1. "Woah Baby I haven't felt this randy since last year when we beat Florida."
2. "This is so much better than when we took it in the Ass against Miss St."
3. "Florida isn't even the best team in Florida."







1. "If we win boys I promise I won't eat all of the Cheeseburgers."
2. "The Rutgers Running Back makes me hungry. MMMM, Rice."
3. "Yes one more year of UnderArmour Sponsorship. That translates to 4 Cheeseburgers a day."




1. "On Second thought maybe it's ok if you take the Michigan Job."
2. "For every additional loss I promise to lose, I mean gain 20 pounds. I desire sponsorship as I am struggling to afford enough paint to cover my surface area."
3. "I think Friedgen ate all my Cheeseburgers..."







1. "By proxy Clemson is now a worse team than UVA. Right?"
2. "I'll see you guys tomorrow during our Electrical Engineering course."
3. "I haven't been around this many tools since I worked at my Uncle's Garage."




1. "Ha I can't believe that douche fumbled into the end zone."
2. "So much for their Nikefied Super Uniforms."
3. "I am so happy right now, I can't wait until we have an undefeated showdown against USC and get throttled. National TV woo."


1. "I just vomitted in my own mouth."
2. "It's a good thing I'm too blind to see this."
3. "Does Michigan have new Orange and Blue Unis? What year is it?"








The End

Alright maybe that's going a bit too far but Josh Fogg could lead to a very very intriguing postseason matchup if he can someway outpitch a stupid Padre. Who cares if it just so happens that he is facing the best pitcher in all of baseball this season, Jake Peavy, Josh Fogg is going to be a beast tonight.

A quick analysis of why it is imperative for entertainment purposes for the Rockies to beat the Padres tonight. The Padres have been one of the lowest scoring teams in the National League this entire season. And after last week are without Milton Bradley who was hitting in the 3-hole and Mike Cameron who may or may not be ready for the NLDS. Additionally because Peavy is pitching today they won't have their ace going twice in a series against the Phillies. In essence I think they'll get trounced. Meanwhile a matchup of the Rocks and Phillies would pit two suspect pitching staffs versus two of the most explosive lineups in baseball. Anything could happen in any game. No lead would be safe ever. It would be arguably the most entertaining Divisional Series.

So lets go Josh Fogg, be our hero and save us from another year of the boring Padres getting crunched in the first round.

Prior to the season I put a few predictions forth and well, I didn't do so hot. Out of the entire predictions I got one spot 100% right and that was selecting the Angels to win the West, wow that was a tough one. In the AL I had the Red Sox and Yanks in but flip flop the Wild Card and Division. I had the Tigers in so that was the big error in the AL. Meanwhile my NL predictions were miserable. I only got one team right and that was the Phillies in the playoffs. I had them as the Wildcard however and not the Division leader. My picks of the Dodgers, Astros and Mets as division leaders were.... Terrible.

In addition I don't think I predicted a single Award winner in either the NL or AL right, especially my joke of putting Carl Pavano as comeback player of the year. Ha.

AL East, AL Central, AL West, NL East, NL Central, NL West

Remember this is all about Quality Wins and Bad Losses so if you lose to a top ranked team its not going to kill you, if you lose to Colorado or App St. it will.

1. South Florida - I was inches away from putting South Florida at number 2 but decided that the difference between the South Carolina victory at home for LSU and the victory at Auburn for USF was smaller than the gap of the WVU to VaTech w/Glennon. And thus for a single week South Florida a team who didn't have a program very long ago now sits on the top of my little poll. Quality Wins: @Auburn, West Virginia

2. Louisiana State - Dropped for one week because they played a shit squad and South Florida beat a National Title contender. LSU will regain the spot if they go out and defeat Florida however, and if they do that they will firmly plant themselves as the #1 team in the country. Quality Wins: VaTech, South Carolina

3. California - A nice little comeback victory for the Bears at Oregon. Cal has to continue to keep focus and watch for trap games before their showdown with USC for the Pac 10 crown. Quality Wins: Tennessee, @Oregon

4. Kentucky - Sittin pretty this weekend while everyone else got knocked off. Playing Florida Atlantic will do that for you. Quality Wins: Louisville, @Arkansas

5. Southern Cal - Southern Cal sucked this weekend and is lucky they came away with a victory, but again this isn't a style points ranking. The Trojans victory at Nebraska was a good one and they soon will tally up some more big wins. Quality Wins: @Nebraska

6. Oregon - Losing at home to Cal certainly sucks, if they had won that they would be #1. But there isn't much shame in losing to one of the best teams in the country. Quality Wins: Houston, @Michigan

7. Wisconsin - I'm not quite sure if Michigan St. is really going to be a quality win for much longer but they were an undefeated team and too many squads had a bad loss this weekend and needed to get shipped out of the top 11. Quality Wins: Michigan St.

8. Kansas St. - If Florida can lose to Auburn at home than losing to Auburn on the road is not as miserable and a victory at Texas is certainly bigger than a win at home against Tennessee so the Wildcats leap frog the Gators into the rankings.Quality Wins: @Texas

9. South Carolina - Nothing like playing Mississippi St. on the weekend for a nice way to recoup from playing against the Purple Tigers the prior weekend. The Gamecocks and the Ole Ball Coach have to be thrilled with the Gators loss as the SEC East is a big crap shoot. Quality Wins: @UGA

10. Clemson - I debated whether or not to count a loss to Georgia Tech on the road as a bad loss. It's very debatable considering Tech did lose to UVA the week prior. For this week I'm giving Clemson the benefit of the doubt and will say that if Tech loses a couple more games than we'll throw it in that column. Quality Wins: FSU

11. Arizona St. - The Sun Devils maintain their spot at 11 despite some shakeups in the rankings. The Beaver win needed to be pulled from the quality column while the Buffalo win can be added. Quality Wins: Colorado

Dropped Out: Florida losing at home to Auburn who previously lost to Miss St. is a bad loss, Oklahoma losing to Colorado is a miserable loss and certainly cancels out the Miami win, Georgia really to no fault of their own Bama's loss just diminishes that win quality

Previous Weeks: 1, 2, 3, 4