Yankees Waste of Oxygen Award

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Yankees haven't been terrible this season but this is in spite of the below contestants who have done their best in attempting to foil the Yankees season.

1. Jason Giambi - He sucks in the field he's got greasy hair he strikes out all the time he gets paid a shit ton and he can't hit a baseball much anymore. Plus there is the general dislike many have for him given the fact he was a complete product of steroid abuse.

2. Robinson Cano - He struggles during the cold months every year, but .160? Seriously .160? You can't even get a hit in 2 at bats given 10? In the powerhouse Yankees lineup Cano has yet to reach double digits in either RBI or Runs scored.

3. Ian Kennedy - I don't think too much was expected from Ian Kennedy other than an ERA around 4 and a .500 record. Well try an ERA double what was expected and a record without any wins and that's what Kennedy has given to the the Yanks thus far this season.

4. Phil Hughes - And then there's Phil Hughes who may soon be diagnosed as allergic to the strike zone. He actually has a worse ERA than Kennedy, a flat run per inning pitched, and has double the amount of losses as Ian, 4 compared to 2. His WHIP sits over 2 meaning he loves pitching out of the stretch.

Get Your Vote On

Runners Up:
Betemit for somehow going on the DL due to pink eye. Joe Girardi for allowing Mike Mussina to throw strikes to Manny, Bobby Abreu for leaking vaginal fluids near the wall

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Hey Blogger This is Annoying


Typing in this god damn Word Verification every single time I want to make a post is incredibly annoying. Especially considering 50% of the time I have no god damn clue what the letters are. Thanks assbags.

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Someone Smashed D'Antoni and Gave Him Brain Damage

Before the night was over and D'Antoni had left San Antonio after his Phoenix team was eliminated from the playoffs the word was out, he will no longer be the Phoenix coach. It's pretty obvious that if he is going to leave that job he must not think the GM/President and Ownership have full confidence in him and chances are good that the Shaq deal pissed him the hell off. He wants out, he wants a fresh start and he'll let the Suns attempt to develop a half court game with Nash and Shaq, his leaving is understandable. His run and shoot window is over. But how the hell even in that situation could you possibly leave to take the Knicks job.

Can someone get Mike to a hospital please. Someone obviously took a big spill at some point in time this weekend. How exactly would Mike's offense turn the Knicks around? Perhaps I'm missing where the Steve Nash clone is on the Knicks. Perhaps I'm missing how Eddy Curry is going to run the floor any better than Shaq. Perhaps, I'm missing who can be the defensive stopper on the Knicks like Raja Bell. Perhaps, I'm missing how the Knicks have any chance of being successful in the next few seasons.

Actually, I'm not missing anything here. The Knicks suck, they will suck next year, and the year after that. They have no chance of immediately turning it around. Mike, please get checked out before you make a huge mistake.

Note: Mike's Family, please send him to the Chicago for an interview with the Bulls in the chance he gets an interview with the Knicks

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Product of Vanilla Ice and a Tanning Bed


Is Tampa Pitcher Matt Garza the Product of Vanilla Ice and a Tanning Bed? Me Thinks So.

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Old Recycled Vagabond or Fresh New Face?

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The NBA coaching spots are beginning to be filled and there's two very large ends of the spectrum. Some times are opting for the coaches who have bounced around the league a bunch and have seen their fair share of up and downs, none with a more utilized suitcase than Larry Brown. On the complete opposite end, everybody and their transvestite step sons think that Mark Jackson who has never spent a single moment on the bench of an NBA team as a coach will wind up as the Knicks next coach.

Larry Brown will be 68 throughout the 08-09 season while Jackson will only be 43. Larry Brown has been coaching in the NBA, ABA or NCAA since 1975. Jackson was a 10 year old in 1975. Brown has won both an NCAA Title and an NBA title while Jackson was never a member of a champion in either the NBA or NCAA. We know Brown can be a winner but we also were witness to the epic disaster of his New York Knicks. But can you blame Brown for it? Can you believe that it was Brown and not Isiah that wanted to bring in Stevie Franchise? We also know that if Larry Brown is offered a better opportunity he'll probably jump at it. So despite the championship pedigree you know what you are getting with Larry Brown.

But what do we know about Jackson and his potential coaching prowess. As an undersized and not particularly athletic point guard Jackson had to work incredibly hard to make it as an NBA player. He worked so hard that he finished his career with the 2nd most assists in the history of the NBA. He knows how to run offenses and lead on the court but is that everything or anything really? The same could be said for both Magic Johnson and Isiah Thomas, both were terrific point guards who were both leaders and knew how to run an offense. And look what happened to their coaching career. We also know that Mark Jackson through his TV gig should be able to handle the scrutiny in NYC. But we also know through his TV gig that he isn't particularly afraid to bare his opinion and possibly ruffle some feathers.

Both of these coaches have an incredible amount of question marks. The question marks are just completely different. So which side of the spectrum would you rather sit on?

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Apparently the Paint Belongs to Joe Johnson



Just when I speak up yesterday the Celtics go out and play a miserable 4th quarter and now find themselves in an interesting 2-2 series. The reason? Joe Johnson throttled them for 20 points in the 4th quarter alone and pretty much got to the bucket and scored at will. Ray Ray was not the defensive answer. Perhaps the Celtics should work on some kind of game plan to keep him out of the lane and/or put a hand in his face when he actually is shooting the basketball.

Or... I guess they could just lose the series if they rather do that.

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No Way, He's More of a Scum Bag Than Me

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Don't Like the 8+ ERA? Go Screw

Monday, April 28, 2008


Don't like Tom Gorzelanny's 8+ ERA to start the season? Well his bobblehead says go screw.

Courtesy of The Pittsburgh Channel

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Valuable Life Lesson: Do Not Make the Last Out at Home


One valuable little lesson that you should not have learned was that you are not supposed to make the last out at home. Rather, the last out is the last out. Home, 1st, 2nd, fly ball, strikeout, anywhere, it's still the last out. In fact it's probably beneficial if the fielder attempts to throw a runner out at home rather than 1st because there is no force play at home.

Thankfully the only thing my infield single with runners on 2nd and 3rd would have landed us, if the runner scored like he should have, was an extra inning of getting pummeled. But I guess it does say that the combination of poor talent, poor execution and poor knowledge of the fundamentals of the game is not necessarily a very good combination for a winning ball club.

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The NBA, Where Boredom Happens

I was busy getting drunk on Friday and Saturday to realize what was going on during the NBA playoffs and I've come to the conclusion that what I missed was a collective nothing. Once again the NBA postseason has been completely dull and story-less thus far. 5 series are currently at 3-1, the Lakers are at 3-0, the Celtics will most likely increase their series lead to 3-1, and the only series knotted up consists of two incredibly boring squads to watch in the Sixers and Pistons.

The Suns Spurs was the one series I was truly looking forward to watching, and thanks to their inability to hold onto a lead in San Antonio they put themselves in an almost impossible 3-0 hole. The Celtics despite them being my team of choice play uninspiring uninteresting games against the Hawks. The only interesting part of the Lakers series is watching the Nuggets internally self destruct during the postgame commentary. The Hornets eat up Jason Kidd to the point where he tried to throw Pargo's head into the parquet. The Rockets can't win a playoff series with Yao nevermind without him. The Lebron's could have found themselves in an interesting series if they lost game 4, but alas Delonte West who was the real value in their midseason trade had to make bunch of threes. The Magic are dismantling the boring Raptors. And finally you have a 2-2 series between the 76ers with zero superstars versus the boring Pistons.

The first round had potential but it's all gone now, so please someone wake me up if the playoffs get interesting at any point in time.

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Draftie Quick Notes

~First off let me just echo what my buddy Joe thought of the draft, it was boring. The one player that you really will be looking forward to watch take the field this year is going to a perennial 4 win team who won't be on TV much and additionally have 3 running backs who will compete for touches with him. The rest of the 1st round consisted of lineman, who while will be very beneficial to teams won't be players to diligently follow this year.

~The Jets draft was also boring. I obviously wanted McFadden but figured they'd end up with Gholston. I'm surprised they traded up for Keller whom everyone seems to think would have been a round when they picked in the 2nd round. The worst thing about Keller is that, it makes me think they are highly contemplating going back to Pennington this year. A tight end roaming around in the middle is the perfect complement to Chad's weak arm. One of the many remaining Wide Out who could spread the field would help someone with a strong arm, not a Tight End Dallas Clark clone. The pick of Erik Ainge was eh, it's the 5th round it's probably a good gamble. And the rest were players who I don't know. So pretty much a non-nondescript boring draft.

~The Jets apparently signed Danny Woodhead the white kid that ESPN was following all day long. That's probably the most exciting thing the Jets did this weekend.

~Meanwhile the enemy improved where they needed it the most by drafting three linebackers (Jerod Mayo (1st), Shawn Crable (3rd) & Bo Ruud (6th)). So pretty much despite losing their own 1st round pick the Patriots found a way to significantly improve the weaknesses of their roster. Makes you feel real great if you are a fan of a different AFC East team.

~It seems like the Weed penalty for the draft is severe. Let's be honest, a lot of these players whether caught or not have smoked weed before. Is it a positive? Of course not. But is it really enough to drop a stock from the 1st round to the 3rd round? I don't really think so, but what do I know.

~On that note, I think the Giants drafting Manningham in the 3rd round was a really solid selection. If Eli can improve his consistency again this season they could have an improved offense. They have depth and weapons everywhere. Boss and Shockey are two solid TEs. Bradshaw and Jacobs offer a superior change of pace in the backfield. And a wide receiver core of Plax, the emerging Steve Smith, Manningham, Tyree and Sinorice Moss will give the Giants to expand the field at will.

~Caleb Campbell the Army player getting drafted and possibly avoiding a trip to Iraq is a good story and a good policy by West Point. If a person from the Academy can be a good will ambassador for the program and possibly increase the number of Cadets than it makes sense to let the kid play in the NFL.

~Mike Hart slipping to the 6th round just shows you how valuable physical numbers are rather than playing numbers. He doesn't have the speed, he doesn't have the size, but he always got it done.

~I was hoping the Dolphins would draft Mike Hart so they could lose to Ohio St. for 4 straight seasons.

~Again perhaps it's just me, but I think I'd rather have Brohm or Henne 40 picks later than Joe Flacco.

~The Cowboys drafting Felix Jones instead of Rashard was pretty funny, but it probably makes sense.

~Chad Johnson not getting traded was stupid.

~Jason Taylor not getting traded was stupid.

~Shockey not getting traded was not stupid.

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The Moment that Cost the Jets McFadden



Nugent nailing this kick to help the Jets win in Overtime the final week of the season cost the Jets the best player in the draft. Woo...

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Don't Be This Guy

Sunday, April 27, 2008


If you're in a fantasy league you should never be the ass that offers insulting trades like this. Why the hell would anyone want Jason Giambi?

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Golfers Fashion Watch

Friday, April 25, 2008


Who wants to win a green jacket when you can win a plaid one sponsored by erizon.

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So Much for the Masters


Apparently winning the Masters does not necessarily carry over to the next time you play in a golf tournament. I'm glad I didn't use him on my Best Ball team.

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The Annual Make Me Cry Video



Every year before the NFL Draft I watch this video just to remind me that no matter how exciting the Draft is for most teams, it always seems to be a disappointment for the Jets. Anyway, just for the fun of it let's look back at each of the picks featured in this video and see whom they could have drafted instead.

1980: Johnny Lam Jones #2
Lam Jones won a gold medal in the 76 Olympics on the relay team and was a burner with not so solid hands playing for the Jets from 80-85. Picked immediately following Jones was Anthony Munoz who turned out to be not half bad at Offensive Tackle. The next wideout taken in the draft? Art Monk at 18. Solid job New York.

1981: Freeman McNeil #3
He played for the Jets from 81-92 and actually made three Pro Bowls so he wasn't a complete bust. The remaining running backs in the draft were nothing special and the only 1st round draft pick left on the board was Ronnie Lott who went 8th (LT was drafted at #2).

1983: Ken O'Brien #24
O'Brien was the Jets QB from 83-92 and made 2 Pro Bowls. Again he wasn't that good or that bad and not much of a bust really. The problem is they chose him over Marino.

1987: Roger Vick #21
Fullbacks basically never go in the first round, yet the genius Jets took Vick who only played 3 years on the team. No real standouts in this draft either, other than Bo Jackson who was picked in the 7th round by the Raiders because he was pursuing baseball rather than football at the time.

1989: Jeff Lageman #14
The Jets reached for Logeman at 14 and he ended up spending 6 seasons with the team and never made a pro bowl. Yet again there really weren't any superb other options for the Jets as the only other future pro bowlers left from the 1st round were Wayne Martin who also was a D End, Steve Atwater and Bad Moon Rison. No Hall of Famers there.

1990: Blair Thomas #2
This is where the picks get really bad. Thomas never made a Pro Bowl and was out of the Jets organization by 1993 after rushing for only 5 tds in 4 years. Perennial Pro Bowlers Cortez Kennedy and Junior Seau were taken in the top 5. While the next running back taken off the board was Emmit Smith with pick #17. Hell even Rodney Hampton at pick 24 made a pro bowl. The Jets also had another selection in 90 and went with Rob Moore at pick #26. Moore did make a pro bowl team with the Jets in 94.

1992: Johnny Mitchell #15
Played with the team from 92-95 and was out of the league by 1997. The pick following was Chester McGlockton. Basically the moral of the story is don't draft TEs.

1995: Kyle Brady #9
With your entire fan base cheering for you to pick a perennial pro bowler you slap them in the face and pick Kyle Brady who like Mitchell only played 4 seasons with the Jets and never made a Pro Bowl. The Jets later in the draft selected Hugh Douglas at pick #16 who made three pro bowls after the Jets intelligently got rid of him. Imagine how formidable a Defensive line in the late 90s centered around Warren Sapp and Hugh Douglas could have been. But why do that when there's a shitty tight end on the board.

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Friday Video Blowout

Everyone needs something to keep them occupied on Friday afternoons so the Friday Video Blowout was born. Spend your next few minutes, laughing, crying of laughter, pissing your self, whatever, but mostly wasting your companies time.

Videos In Order Courtesy of BC, Odenized, The Beautiful Game, TBL, CO-ED, Fanhouse, FanIQ, With Leather, Everyone


This did not happen in the section I was in. Lame.


I believe I can fly I believe I can touch the rim.


Eh, not that impressive.



This is the Same idiot who voted for AJ in the 2006 MVP Vote.


Man Rick Barry's free throw is gay.


Umm, you're annoying.


Get those seats while they're hot. Or have they moved already?


http://view.break.com/492330 - Watch more free videos
Blood is fun. So much fun. Who needs a helmet.


Wow, this is pathetic.

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The Annoying Smith Machines

Last year my genius gym decided that it was going to rid itself of all normal benches and and replace them with Smith Machines. I'm not exactly sure why, perhaps because they can be utilized for squats or perhaps because they are 'safer' for the person doing their bench presses, or the fact you can put an adjustable bench and do either regular bench presses or incline presses. Ok, it was probably a combination of all of those reasons, but after about 2 years of doing regular bench presses I was pretty annoyed.

After the year, I've gotten pretty used to the Smith Machines, I do that and mix in a few dumbell presses and some flys and call it a day. You get used to what's available to you. Until they decided, probably due to the steroid abusers whining, to bring back a regular bench press. So I figured why not try to mix it back into the rotation. The results? Holy shit my shoulder stablizers are weak as hell thanks to the stupid Smith machines. I can't bench anything heavy anymore because me arms wobble from side to side and north to south. There is not stopping it, it's pathetic and incredibly annoying. And it's all due to those damn Smith machines.

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Draft Guessing

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Let's be honest no one knows what the hell is going to happen for the draft. Everyone is just guessing. So here is my "Guess" Draft. I actually filled this out last week, so do I get bonus points for getting Jake Long right? No? Ok, whatever.

Also, I basically created the draft on the whole hope that McFadden will somehow drop to the Jets. So, expect it to be completely wrong.

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Meet Johnny Damon, Minus the Million Dollars of Incentive

Back when Johnny Damon was a Red Sock he was beloved by the 'Nation' and intensely hated by many Yankee fans including myself. And then his free agency loomed, should he stay with the Red Sox for significantly less money or venture to the opposite side of the rivalry and play for the Yanks. And when he chose the Yanks instead of the Sox the Nation felt betrayed and Yankee fans like myself were stuck attempting to figure out how they could possibly root for the guy. With that being said there was an explanation for why he jumped ship. It wasn't that all things being equal he decided to cross into enemy lines, no he just went where the money was. It was an understandable decision as a decent percentage of us probably would have done the same thing.

Now meet Justin Boren who as a sophomore started for the Michigan Wolverines but decided he did not like the coaching methods of Rich Rodriguez and would rather transfer. So with a multitude of options out there, all providing different playing/educational benefits, Justin Boren decided of all places he wanted to go to Ohio St. Unlike Pryor who had no affiliation and had the right to pick between the two he has spent two years of his life building a relationship with his teammates. He could have gone anywhere but he basically told all of those teammates to go screw with the only reasoning here being he wants to be a complete asshole.

Oh wait, he probably is getting paid more. Nevermind, completely understandable.

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Draftie Quick Notes

~Does Vernon Gholston look like a comic book character?

~Jake Long receiving the largest contract for any offensive lineman in the league seems completely ludicrous. This is what I don't understand about the NFL. For a league with so many restrictions built to lower the salaries in the league, from the lack of guaranteed deals to the hard cap, how do they have absolutely no salary structure for their draft picks? Why would Miami want to bring in a talented young player who may or may not become a pro bowl with the biggest contract in the league rather than bring in an already proven player and pay him less.

~I don't really see what there is to lose for the Cowboys in trading for Pacman Jones. If he doesn't play they take a mild risk in giving up a 4th round pick but receiving a pick next year in return. If he does play he will certainly be worth a 4th round pick and whatever pick they will need to give additionally next year. Seems like a solid risk-reward decision to me.

~Meanwhile I don't get the Vikings trade for Jared Allen at all. Certainly he is a superb player, but he does have two DUIs and another one lands a year suspension, so it's not like you're getting the classiest or most responsible of individuals. Additionally did you have to give him the highest contract in the league on top of packaging a 1st round pick and two third round picks. Seems pretty stupid on their part.

~Why do the Redskins not care about the draft at all? I understand the appeal of landing Chad Johnson but haven't they learned a single lesson that this league is most often by making solid draft choices?

~Speaking of that trade proposal the Bengals are idiots. Why keep Chad Johnson if you are just going to end up fighting the entire season with him? Why incite him by saying he can sit out if he wants to? Why not get potentially two first round picks for a 30 year old receiver that sooner rather than later will be on the decline of his career. If you can't find valuable players with two first round picks than maybe you should re-evaluate your entire franchise.

~Perhaps the Matt Walsh interviews will result in the Pats 7th pick being stripped. Eh, why ask for just the 7th, let's get greedy and ask for the entire draft.

~On that note, why does Chris Mortensen keep on saying we know Billy B has been taping other teams signals since 2000? When exactly was that fully established by the NFL and the media? Perhaps I just missed this.

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All Crap Decade Team: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The Devil Rays have never in their franchise history finished better than 4th or won more than 70 games and it shows.

Lineup (min. 100 games)

C: Dioner Navarro 2007: They got rid of Toby Hall cause he hit .231 and then Navarro goes out and hits .227 in 388 at bats the following year.

1B: Travis Lee 2006: .224 average and .295 On Base % in 343 at bats.

2B: Brent Abernathy 2002: 2 Home Runs with a .599 OPS in 463 ABs.

3B: Aubrey Huff 2001: .248 average and a .288 on base % with only 8 homers over 411 at bats.

SS: Kevin Stocker 1998: .208 Average, .282 On Base %, and .313 Slugging % in 336 at bats. All around awful.

OF: Damon Hollins 2006: .228 Average and .269 On Base % over 333 at bats in 121 games.

OF: Jonny Gomes 2006: The man Hollins was in a DH/OF/Bench platoon with hit a robust .216 in 2006 with 116 Ks in 385 at bats.

OF: Al Martin 2003: Split time between DHing and playing the OF but for this purpose he shall be considered in the OF. He hit 3 home runs and had 2 steals in 238 total at bats. Now that's production.

DH: Paul Sorrento 1998 : .225 average and a .313 On Base % while mostly DHing.

BN: Felix Martinez 2000: basically just as bad as Stocker at SS in 2000. Hit .214 with a .305 On Base % and .298 slugging percentage. Yes a slugging percentage below .300. Wow.

BN: Nick Green 2005: 3 Homers and 2 steals with a .239 average in 318 at bats.

BN: Geoff Blum 2004: While platooning everywhere for the Drays in 04 Blum hit .215 with a miserable .266 On Base % in 339 at bats.

BN: Jared Sandberg 2002:.229 average and 139 Ks in 358 at bats.

Starting Pitching (min. 18 starts)

SP: Tanyon Sturtze 2002: Win loss record doesn't necessarily say everything about a pitcher's performance, but damn 4-18 is bad.

SP: Ryan Rupe 2000: 5-6 with a 6.92 ERA. 160 Base runners in 91 innings. (Note was just as bad in 2001)

SP: Joe Kennedy 2003 : 3-12 with a 6.13 ERA in 32 games 22 started.

SP: Hideo Nomo 2005: Gave up over a touchdown per game with an ERA of 7.24 going 5-8 in 19 starts.

SP: Edwin Jackson 2007: Sucked less the last month of the season but 5-15 with a 5.76 ERA is terrible.

Relief Pitching (min. 25 appearances)

RP: Casey Fossum 2007: Sure he started 10 games, but he also came out in relief in 30 and finished with 76 innings pitched and an ERA of 7.70.

RP: Jesus Colome 2002: 8.27 ERA and 88 base runners over 41.3 innings.

RP: Shawn Camp 2007: 0-3 with a 7.20 ERA over 50 appearances.

RP: Brian Stokes 2007: 2-7 with a 7.07 ERA over 59 apperances.

RP: Travis Harper 2005:6.75 ERA over 52 appearances.

RP: Doug Creek 2002: No idea who this guy is but he had 6.27 ERA in 29 appearances.

RP: Seth McClung 2005: Half his appearances were starts but whatever he was miserable for 3 straight years. In 05 he finished with and ERA of 6.59 his worst over that span.

All Crap Team Index

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Own Goals Are Fun

Up 1 with seconds remaining in a huge European Clash? What to do when a ball is crossed into your penalty box? How about head the ball into you're own net? Apparently John Arne Riise thought that was a good idea. I don't know if Liverpool fans agreed.



And Because this will surely get taken down from Youtube, here are some fun pictures.



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Cash or the Lady?


Entering the NFL draft there's many different perspectives. They range from Jake Long who is now a multimillionaire and won't have to do anything but walk up to the podium and put on a Dolphins hat again. Meanwhile players like Sam Keller will be watching the second day in the hopes that they will here their name called and won't end up playing in the arena league. But Jake Long is a 300 pound oaf who may or may not currently have a smoking hot gf. Meanwhile Keller as evidence above and in more photos at Busted Coverage, already has the smoking hot gf. So the question is, would you rather have the cash or the hot lady?

I'd imagine everyone would say cash.

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2008 Pig Dinner Power Rankings

It's Pig Dinner Weekend again so at the request of my assbag fraternity brothers I've put together another rankings going into the weekend. It appears as if Fors will not be suiting up for the tournament but rather will be not 100% intoxicated and yelling at people over nothing. Regardless his absence opens it up for another team to actually win this year.

1. The Mighty Putz: Jamie Carlson (1999), Mike Dorval (2002), Ryan Fournier (2000), Dana Griffin (2000)

This team should probably be monitored the entire tournament as mass cheating is most likely committed. If you're under 5 foot 6 you can't be completely trustworthy. See Conidi for a reference...

2. Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear: Ron Wright (2002), Matt Siska (2002), Jeff Costa (2002), Bunz (2002)

I feel as if they post a good score each year, but never quite remember. So they shall be placed at the same spot as last year. 2.

3. The Immortal 4: Justin Billings (2005), Daniel "Cotton" Schwab (2005), Matt Simone (2005), Jimbo Loiselle (2005)

Fuck it. These are my god damn rankings and I'm putting lofty expectations on Cotton to actually show up this weekend and for myself to be not 100% drunk and useless. No expectations will be put on Bones.

4. Conor Casey Memorial Foursome: Karl Gebhardt (2004), Gary Pedro (2004), Brian Abcunas (2004), Brian Pitreau (2002)

Pitreau has a lot of cheating to make up for. I just don't foresee him lying and saying that he has won the long drive or that the squad is 4 under better than what they actually finished.

5. 3/4 Busch Light Brigade: Andrew Frascotti (2006), Jared Deck (2006), Jeff Perras (2006), John Tehrani (2006)

Mills is apparently too lazy to join the rest of his Busch Light Brigade and instead was replaced by Deck. What kind of excuse is running 26 miles anyway, and for Country Music in the miserable state of Tennessee. I expect a return to action next year.

6. Chipper 'n' Dales: Brent Shannon (2007), Ryan DeChristoforo (2006), Drew Forrest (2006), Misael Diaz (Undergrad)

I've heard the whole Misael was a golf pro rumor before and right now I'm playing it as 2/3s truth and 1/3 Barret story. So I'm skeptical.

7. Team Ramrod: Justin Wheeler (2003), Matt Clark (2003), Paul Elliott (2003), Shawn Walker (2004)

I can't imagine Wheeler contributing much to the squad but Clarky, Elliot and Walker should be able to keep the team in contention.

8. pig 'n putt: Jon Rich (2001), Paul O'Brien (2001), Jay Cardinal (2001), Curtis Britton (2002)

A lot of time it seems like the older guys are good at golf. After a few Pig Dinner tournaments I've come to realize that these guys are not. Not good at all.

9. Golf Any Style: Wes Salomon (2005), John Courtney (2005), Toby Maglione (2005), Eric Sands (2005)

The imagery of Wes Salomon swinging a golf once is enough to burn a person's retinas. Forcing yourself to watch Wes over the course of 18 holes good lead to perminant loss of vision.

10. Clubs and Shrubs: Brian McDonough (2007), Bryan Bussone (2007), Nate Birmingham (2006), Ryan Hollister (2007)

For some strange reason I get the sense that the height of their mental state may hinder their play over the back 9.

11. The Shanksville Duffs: Lou Frascotti (1979),Joe Frascotti (Undergrad), Joe Renaud (2007), Greg Pawlowski (Undergrad)

At least this year sweet lou doesn't have to worry about some stories which are completely false. He just has to worry about whether any of the young guys he's saddled with can hit a golf ball without it going into the woods.

12. The Whalers: Joe Leverone (Undergrad), Ryan Sebastian (Undergrad), Justin Thomas (Undergrad), Michael Pagonis (Undergrad)

They're undergrads so they probably suck. Not as much as Grutt but pretty bad.

13. The Fraternity of Mu Tau: Joseph Gruttadauria (2005), Anthony Smith (2005), Sean Mahoney (2005), Rick Adams (2005)

Last year I picked them last and they didn't finish last, despite zero birdies during 18 holes of play. So this year they get a one spot reprieve. Perhaps they can actually get one birdie. Or perhaps they will make up for last year and finish in last. We shall see.

14. Aaron Vanney Memorial Foursome: Chris Hamel (2004), Sean Coughlin (2004), Derek Ransom (2005), Wes Chapman V (2004)

I'm sorry Coughlin but I had to move you guys to last this year. The squad moved from 2 people high and 2 bad golfers to three people high and 1 bad golfer. Probably not a step in the right direction.... but atleast you don't have Grutt on your team.

Unknown Soldiers

The rest of the bunch of golfers that I probably know limited about.

Fat, Drunk & Stupid: Andy "Old Man" Williams (1992), Sean "Dog" Doherty (1992), Eddie Leono (1995), Add New Member

Burnt Stumps: Bill Musiak (1993), Dave Henry (1993), Sean Conley (1995), Jim Meystrik (1995)

Over? Nothing Is Over Until We Decide It Is......: Bill (The Tuna) Trask (2001), Wally (and that foot is me) Towner (1988), Add New Member, Add New Member

FIJI Masters: David Vogt (1977), Alex Vogt (1975), Jon Wyman (1975), Robert Ferrari (1974)

Legends of the Links: Matt Jeffers (1993), Bill Johnson (1993), Chris Ledoux (1993), Add New Member

Joe Faulk Sucks: Meat Igo (1999), Dusty Dyer (1999), Matt Roski (1999), Stick Gallimore (1999)

Team Donkey Punch: BG Chabot (1996),
Alan Assner (1996), Matt O'Brien (1997), Ted Manley (1997)

We Are Who You Thought We Were: John Lehane (1999), Tim Briggs (2000), Gregg Burnett (2000), Max Gomez (2000)

Four guys one cup: Mark Simon (1996), Mark Palmer (1998), Brian Zaleski (1996), Scott Theriault (1998)

Sons of Armand: Mike Spencer (2001), Dan Erickson (2001), Greg Halloran (2000), Mike Young (2001)

Other Predictions & Facts

The Team with the lamest name is Golf Any Style which came out of Wes Swallowman's only I think it's funny mind.

Pierce's bald dome covered by a hat will be highly missed. As will the missing of the drunk cheating Connor Casey of old, as the sober non hole marker destroyer version of Connor last year doesn't really count.

Tehrani will have the least hetero-sexual outfit. Which I'd imagine would include pink pants.

Bones will start saying things that don't make any sense by hole 4.

The ideal 4-some would certainly include the absent Ziggy.

The Jets will draft someone I hate (i.e. Vernon Gholston) and I will shank my shot immediately following.

I will not snap my driver in half this year.

Cotton will start giggling by the back 9.

Grutt will not win our Par 3 bet this year as I will not accept betting on the 100 foot par 3 with a green the size of the Indian Ocean.

Do Undergrads exist? All signs point to no.

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A Day in the Life of Isiah

Tuesday, April 22, 2008


8:00 I show up to Madison Square Garden and someone's in my parking spot. Boo.

8:01 I drive to the next parking spot and see a sign that says "Parking for anyone Who Isn't Named Isiah Thomas". I am sad. Tears almost shed.

8:02 Every parking space seems to have the same sign. They also have pictures of my face with a big red circle around it and a dash through the center. I don't quite understand what that means.

8:05 I search for a parking space on the street no luck.

8:15 I finally find a parking space 5 blocks away. I get out of my car. And begin walking down the street.

8:20 Man attempts to throw his coffee at me. Says I ruined the Knicks. I attempt to tell him that the Knicks are well on their way to an NBA championship and that I will see them through. He tells me to go fuck myself. I attempt to explain to him that despite the fact that I am well hung it would be impossible. He calls me an ass and leaves.

8:28 I get to MSG, yay. Home sweet home.

8:30 Security Guard is not so nice to me. He hands me a memo from Jim and Donny. I read. "Hey Isiah, You suck. I wish we didn't have to pay you 18 million dollars. But alas we do. So instead of firing you we are going to set out to embarass you in the hopes that you quit and we don't have to pay you. The security guard will direct you to you're new 'office'" Well that was a bummer.

8:40 I get to my office. It seems to be awfully close to the furnace, and there seem to be rats running around. But there is a note on the wall. "In order to make your office more homey we've given you wired internet access." Hooray I love the Interwebs.

8:45 Yay Pledge of Allegience Time. I love America.

8:46 PA Man doesn't do the Pledge of Allegience, he instead does, Pledge to Hate Isiah.

I Pledge Allegience, to the Haters of Isiah Thomas and to the Knicks who he forever scarred, one hatred under God indivisible with Hatred and Vengeance for Us All."

8:47 Sad Face.

8:50 Ohh yay a phone call. It's Jim. Yay. "Hi Isiah, just to let you know we don't want you to talk to anybody. You have no title you have no employees and you shall not talk to the team."

"Can I look at internet porn?"

"Umm Sure"

Hooray I can look at internet porn.

8:55 - 9:30 Asian Internet Porn really needs more Yao Ming. I don't think he would fit in our cap.

9:30 - 10:30 Inter-racial & Gay porn cause I'm not a racist nor a sexist

10:30-11:00 I thought I would go check out what blogs had to say about me... They weren't very nice.

11:00 I'm bored, I think I'll call Stephon maybe we can get lunch.

11:01 The phone tells me I can't call outside numbers... I'll try again.

11:10 I tried 30 times and it still won't let me call anyone. Let me try my cell phone.

11:12 No cell phone reception, I guess that's what happens when you're in the basement. I'll go outside.

11:13 Hmm that's confusing, the door is locked. I guess I can wait a while I'm not that hungry.

11:15-11:30 Check out how my fantasy team did this year. Oooh, not so good. I guess I shouldn't have drafted Jamal Crawford in the 2nd round.

11:35 I try to leave again, the door is locked. I start knocking and a nice man responds to me. "Sorry Isiah you are not allowed out of your office during working hours. We will deliver food to you. What will you like to have?"

"I would like a sushi box with extra soy sauce." I like to eat healthy.

11:35-12:35 Hour nap. I need my beauty sleep.

12:40 I get my lunch. I don't think this is sushi. It looks like a 5 day old dead fish with some white rice. I think I will wait to eat.

12:45 The not so nice man opens my door and says that it's exercise time. He throws me a basketball. Yay Basketball. I'm good at basketball.

12:46 Sad face, the basketball is flat. And the hoop was made of cardboard. Not so nice man laughs at me and closes the door.

12:47-2:00 Boredom/looking at internet porn/searching for nude photos of Anucha

2:01-4:00 Not so nice man says it's video time. Shows me this video on loop...



4:00-5:00 Not so nice man says it's reading time. He says todays mail theme is Isiah death threats....

5:01 Those weren't very nice... Ok time to go home... Not so Nice man at the door tells me I can't leave until all Knick employees have left the building.

5:01-7:00 Stare at the wall crying.

7:01 Not so Nice Man tells me I can leave.

7:20 My car window is broken and someone took a dump on my steering wheel. That wasn't nice... Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

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All Crap Decade Team: Boston Red Sox

The Red Sox have 2 World Series Titles in the past 4 seasons but damn some of those lineups in the lat 90s were miserable.

Lineup (min. 100 games)

C: Jason Varitek 2006: In an effort to look completely washed up V-Tek hit .238 with only 12 dingers in 365 at bats.

1B: Brian Daubach 2000: .248 average with a .315 On Base % and mediocre power numbers for a first baseman make Daubach the worst of the bunch. (Tony Clark didn't quite reach 100 games played)

2B: Mike Benjamin 1998: An OPS of .682 wouldn't get many of the Sabermatricians calling Benjamin's name.

3B: John Valentin 1999: At one point Valentin was a fan favorite and then he hit .253 with an on base % of .315 and he was done as the Sox regular third baseman.

SS: Mike Lansing 2001: In one of the many years Nomar got injured, Mike Lansing got the bulk of the pt to the tune of .250 batting average and 34 rbis in 352 at bats. (Pokey Reese didn't quite reach 100 games played)

OF: Darren Lewis 1999: If you have a slugging % of .309 you better have more than the 16 steals Darren Lewis had in 470 at bats.

OF: Darren Bragg 1997: No power no average centerfielders were the rave in Fenway in the late 1990s as Bragg preceded Lewis with .257 average and only 9 home runs in 513 at bats.

OF: Troy O'leary 2001:Much of his pt came when Crazy Carl (who also had a miserable season) was out, but O'Leary finished up with an average of .248 and an On Base % of .298.

DH: Dante Bichette 2001: No DH put up miserable stats for the Red Sox but Bichette's season of 12 home runs in 391 at bats with an On Base % of .325 wasn't very good.

BN: Rey Sanchez 2002: In typical 2B form had 1 home run and 38 rbi over 357 at bats with an On Base % of only .318.

BN: Manny Alexander 2000: Sure he was mostly a defensive replacement and utility guy and less of a regular, but he did get in 101 games played and hit .211 during them.

BN: Alex Gonzalez 2006: The Red Sox let O-Cab go first, then traded away Renteria and then brought in Alex Gonzalez. He rewarded them with a .299 On Base % and only 9 homers in 388 at bats.

BN: Jose Offerman 2000: Hit .255 in 451 at bats and always looked awkward doing so.

Starting Pitching (min. 18 starts)

SP: Ramon Martinez 2000: One would have thought putting Ramon behind his brother could have paid off big dividends instead Ramon was miserable posting a 6.13 ERA in 27 starts.

SP: John Burkett 2003: He looked like he should have been retired for years when he posted a 5.15 ERA in 03.

SP: Steve Avery 1997: Coming from the NL to the AL certainly didn't work out for Avery who posted a 6.42 ERA in 22 games including 18 starts.

SP: Mark Portugal 1999: Over 31 appearances including 27 starts Portugal only threw 150 innings and had an ERA of 5.51.

SP: Frank Castillo 2002: Forgive me if I forget Frank Castillo as a baseball player one would have thought a 5.07 ERA and a 6-15 record would be memorable.

Relief Pitching (min. 25 appearances)

RP: Alan Embree 2005: 7.65 ERA over 43 appearances didn't help the Sox defending their title.

RP: Ramiro Mendoza 2003: 6.75 ERA over 37 games made Red Sox fans say that he was still being paid by the Boss.

RP: Rich Garces 2002: El Guapo aka the Fat One was beloved by Sox fans until his ERA balooned to 7.59 in 26 appearances.

RP: Matt Mantei : The Sox picked up Mantei to solidify the pen in hopes that he would regain the stuff that made him a closer once. He posted a 6.49 ERA and was universally hated.

RP: John Halama 2005: Halama worked as a miserable psuedo long relief guy in 2005 to the tune of a 6.18 ERA.

RP: Kerry Lacy : Lacy was 23 year old Red Sox farm hand in 1996 when he came up and gave the Sox some solid relief work. Than in 1997 he finished the year with a 6.11 ERA. He never threw in a major league game afterwards.

RP: Heathcliff Slocumb 1997: Back in the days prior to Papelbon Red Sox fans were forced to watch Slocumb and his 5.79 ERA try to close games out.

All Crap Team Index

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Happy Patriots Day

Monday, April 21, 2008


Michael Strahan would like to wish Tom Brady his Patriot Teammates, all Bostonians and all of those residing in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts a Very Happy Patriots Day.

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All Crap Decade Team: New York Yankees

Over the past 11 seasons the New York Yankees have made the postseason every year, so one would imagine that their all crap team wouldn't be that bad. Well come to find out, they are. They are very bad. Especially the pitching staff.

Lineup (min. 100+ Games)

C: Joe Girardi 1997: .264 Batting Average with 1 HR over 398 at bats.

1B: Tony Clark 2004: .221 Batting Average with 92 strikeouts over 106 games and 253 at bats.

2B: Tony Womack 2005: .276 On Base % with 0 home runs over 329 at bats.

3B: Scott Brosius 2000: .230 average over 470 at bats.

SS: Derek Jeter 1997: .291 Batting Average with only 10 home runs over 654 at bats. When DJ is your SS for over a decade it's tough to find a miserable season.

OF: Chad Curtis 1998: .243 Batting Average with 80 strikeouts over 456 at bats.

OF: Chuck Knoblauch 2001: .250 with 9 Home Runs over 137 miserably fielded games. Chuckies move to the OF was a bad one.

OF: Rondell White 2002: .288 on base % with 86 strikeouts over 455 at bats.

DH: Ruben Sierra 2004: .244 batting average over .307 at bats.

BN: Andy Philips 2006: .240 batting average with 56 strikeouts compared to 59 hits in 246 at bats.

BN: Jorge Posada 1999: .245 batting average with 91 strikeouts compared to 93 hits in 379 at bats.

BN: Charlie Hayes 1997: .258 batting average over 353 at bats.

BN: Bernie Williams 2005: .249 average with 12 home runs over 485 at bats.

Starting Pitching (min. 18 starts)

SP: David Cone 2000: 4-14 with a 6.91 ERA over 30 games including 29 starts. Allowed 192 hits and 82 walks in 155 innings.

SP: Jeff Weaver 2003: 7-9 with a 5.99 ERA over 30 games including 24 starts.

SP: Kenny Rogers 1997: 6-7 with a 5.65 ERA over 31 games including 22 starts.

SP: Mike Mussina 2007: 11-10 with a 5.15 ERA over 27 starts. Allowed 185 hits and 35 walks over 152 innings.

SP: Ted Lilly 2001:
5-6 with a 5.37 ERA over 26 games and 21 starts.

Relief Pitching (min. 25 appearances)

RP: Mike Stanton 1998: 5.47 ERA over 67 games.

RP: Jason Grimsley 2000: 5.04 ERA over 63 games.

RP: Felix Heredia 2004: 6.28 ERA over 47 games. 44 Hits and 20 Walks allowed over 38.7 innings.

RP: Sean Henn 2007: 7.12 ERA over 29 games.

RP: Ron Villone 2006: 5.04 ERA over 70 games.

RP: Juan Acevedo 2003: 7.71 ERA over 26 games.

RP: Kyle Farnsworth 2007: 4.80 ERA over 64 games.

All Crap Team Index

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All Crap Decade Teams

Inspired by the misery that is Jason Giambi and Mike Mussina's start of the 2008 season I have decided to venture into the land of research and create and all crap decade team for each major league team. The All-Crap decade teams will consist of the worst regulars from the 1997-2007 seasons. The Qualifications I will use for regular is 100+ games played for any fielder, 18+ starts for any starter and 25 appearances for any reliever. So we shall be getting started shortly.

AL East: New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, Tampa Bay Devil Rays, Baltimore Orioles, Toronto Blue Jays

AL Central: Cleveland Indians, Detroit Tigers, Kansas City Royals, Chicago White Sox, Minnesota Twins

AL West: Seattle Mariners, LAA Angels, Texas Rangers, Oakland A's

NL East: New York Mets, Atlanta Braves, Florida Marlins, Washington Nationals, Philadelphia Phillies

NL Central: St. Louis Cardinals, Houston Astros, Chicago Cubs, Pittsburgh Pirates, Milwaukee Brewers, Cincinnati Reds

NL West: San Diego Padres, LA Dodgers, Arizona Diamondbacks, Colorado Rockies, San Francisco Giants

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Can You Keep It In Your Mouth Please?


If you watched the Mets game last night or have seen Mike Pelfrey pitch at any point in time this season than you must certainly have noticed him playing with something in his mouth. Not gum nor chewing tobacco like normal baseball players. Rather Pelfrey chews and plays with a mouth guard throughout the game. I don't know if I've ever seen another pitcher wear a mouth guard before. Nevermind pitch with it out of their mouth like below. It just seems weird.

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The Scalabrine Watch Week 22 & 23

This season the NBA has listened to one of my many thoguht and has started to track a players +/- during the course of individual games. Due to my dislike of Brian Scalabrine, I am going to track he's performance in a weekly post called The Scalabrine Watch. 3 Million a year for what?

Celtics 106 Bulls 92: DNP

Celtics 92 Pacers 77: DNP

Celtics 101 Bobcats 78: 12

6 rebounds is practically a season high.

Game Stats: 18 Minutes, 0-1, 1 Point, 6 Rebounds, 3 Assists

Celtics 107 Bucks 104: -2

The Celtics were able to overcome Scals -2 for the win.

Game Stats: 6 Minutes, 0-0, 0 Points, 1 Rebound, 1 Assist

Celtics 95 Wizards 109: 0

Does 1 minute count as playing? Not really.

Game Stats: 1 Minute, 0-0, 0 Point, 1 Rebound, 1 Assist

Celtics 102 Bucks 86: -2

The Celtics played the Bucks two too many times over the final weeks. Scals got in but didn't exactly wow anybody.

Game Stats: 7 Minutes, 0-1, 0 Points, 2 Rebounds, 0 Assists

Celtics 99 Hawks 89: DNP

Celtics 99 Knicks 93: 0

Doc celebrated Isiah's final home game by playing Scalabrine almost 20 minutes.

Game Stats: 19 Minutes, 1-2, 2 Points, 2 Rebounds, 0 Assists

Celtics 105 Nets 94: 12

I think Doc just decided that since he wasn't going to play Scals a single minute in the postseason that he would let him play for over half the game in the season finale.

Game Stats: 29 Minutes, 2-7, 7 Points, 6 Rebounds, 3 Assists

Overall Period Performance: +20

With the Celtics haven't clinched the division and home court advantage with many games to play it was time for the bench warmers to get some burn. So Scals actually saw a decent amount of PT over the course of the April. He even played close to 30 minutes in the season finale. Somehow someway despite being on the floor so much without the superstars of the team, Scals put up a massive +20 week which in the long run almost doubled his season total. Ugh.

Weeks Stats: 80 Minutes, 3-12, 10 Points, 16 Rebounds, 8 Assists

Overall Season Performance: +47

I have to admit that come season end I am shocked that when Scalabrine was on the court the Celtics actually had a positive +/- never mind a +/- of 47. It just goes to show you how good the Celtics are this season and what kind of a difference it makes having KG and Ray Ray to go along with Pierce. I'd imagine that everyone on the roster this season had a positive +/-, which would make sense for a 66 win team. We shall continue the Scalabrine Watch during the postseason to see if he actually gets any burn. We certainly hope not.

Season Stats:10:41 MPG, .309 FG%, 1.8 PPG, 1.7 RPG, 0.8 APG

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Product of Baby Taz and the Hunchback of Notre Dame


Is Manchester United Star Carlos Teves the Product of Baby Taz and the Hunchback of Notre Dame? Me Thinks So.

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This Wouldn't Fly in America

In America we cater to one main thing in sports, a champion. We want their to be a single champion for each of our major sports. We want that champion to fight through the regular season and into the postseason. We want that champion to go through the ringer and finish the season raising the trophy above their head as they defeat their final opponent. And this is where European Soccer tradition comes in stark conflict with American beliefs.

Unlike in American sports the biggest trophy in English Soccer is not decided on a single game or a single series but rather the entire regular season. The very idea of the regular season alone without a postseason wouldn't fly in America. Can you imagine taking away the drama of the superbowl? Can you imagine how boring the 2007 NFL season would have been if we had simply handed the Patriots the title which they would have clinched when they went 14-0 or handed the Celtics the title a few weeks ago. It wouldn't work, but that is how it's done in England. But it gets worse.

Currently two teams are vying for the Premiership title, Manchester United and Chelsea with Manchester United currently 3 points up on points (3 points for a win 1 point for a draw). The two teams face off next week at Stamford Bridge the home of Chelsea for what could put Chelsea in a position to tie for 1st place but alas that is not how it works. If Chelsea wins this weekend to tie for 1st they still would need Manchester United to falter in their final two games in order to take home the trophy. Why? Because the English tie-breaking system does not involve actually playing games on the field. Unlike, last year when the Rockies and Padres offered up a thrilling game for who would make the playoffs, the Premiership simply looks at the stats and hands over the title. Thus because Manchester United has a better goal differential this season than Chelsea, if the two finish in a tie at the end of the season, the coveted Premiership trophy will be handed over to the Reds. This shit would not fly in America.

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2008 NBA Playoff Predictions

Saturday, April 19, 2008



Went with the Spurs vs. the Cs at the start of the season so I'll stick to the picks. I do plan on rooting against the Spurs in every game however.

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A Birthday So Big You Get 2 Years

Friday, April 18, 2008



I always enjoy a good multiple birthday celebration for Hispanic and or Japanese players. It's a time on honored tradition for people to lie about their age. And think about all the sacrifices Miguel Tejada had to go through when he initially lied and told the A's he was 17 and not 19. For one year Tejada could not go to Rated R movies by himself in certain states. For 2 additional years Miguel Tejada could not go to Bars and could not purchase alcohol for himself. That is a lot of sacrificing. Most people lie to get in the bar. Not Miguel, he lied to help keep alcohol away. Isn't that morally responsible? Shouldn't we congratulate Tejada for creating an ingenious approach to keep temptation away?

Happy Birthday to You Miguel. And Happy Birthday again. I hope you got two nice cakes.

Courtesy of AA

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A Little Bit to the Left Farny



Am I heartless? Perhaps. But it's not as if Manny uses nor needs his brain. For once Farnsworth does something to be proud of, he unlike old man Moose actually got Manny out after this.

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Friday Video Blowout

Everyone needs something to keep them occupied on Friday afternoons so the Friday Video Blowout was born. Spend your next few minutes, laughing, crying of laughter, pissing your self, whatever, but mostly wasting your companies time.

Videos In Order Courtesy of CO-ED Mag, Hardwood Paroxysm, Deadspin, FanIQ, Everybody, AA, Dave's Football Blog


Eh, he needs acting lessons.


Take 2 was much better.


How about Manny getting thrown at? That's a good one.


Woody Paige is not impressed.


Poor McLovin. He got cock blocked.


Ooh Sean Wanted to get Fined. Tough Guy.


He didn't even get ejected. That's great.

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Postseason Fantasy Hoops

Thursday, April 17, 2008

I set up two fantasy leagues on NBA.com for the post season. Feel free to join.

Drive to the Finals: Pick a player for each night of the playoffs. You can only use each player once.
League Name: It's Rasho's World

Pick n' Roll: Simply pick the playoff matchup winners in how many games.
League Name: WW Celebratory Binge

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Giving Hope to White Kids Everywhere

Somehow someway it has been accomplished. The dream basketball season. A season started with a few mishaps but leading to a most Epic Championship, thanks solely to one night.

The season started off on the wrong foot. In creating the lightest and least athletic fantasy team in the history of sports, mistakes were made, pre-rankings were botched and with the 1st pick in the first round the White Warriors selected Amare Stoudemire. He was neither White nor unathletic and after another botched pre-ranking effort which lead to the drafting of Quentin Richardson. I immediately looked for trade possibilities and within a few days traded Amare and Q for Pau Gasol and Kyle Korver. After the trade the roster looked like this:

1. (9) Amare Stoudemire PF,C 2. (11) Pau Gasol PF,C 2. (12) Mike Miller SG,SF, 3. (29) Manu Ginobili SG, 4. (32) Kirk Hinrich PG,SG, 5. (49) Mehmet Okur PF,C, 6. (52) Andrei Kirilenko SF,PF, 7. (69) Peja Stojakovic SG,SF, 8. (72) Andris Biedrins C, 9. (89) Chris Kaman C, 10. (92) Luke Walton SF, 11. (109) Luis Scola SF,PF,C, 12. (112) Quentin Richardson SG,SF, 11. (110) Kyle Korver SF, SG 13. (129) Nick Collison PF,C, 14. (132) Robert Swift C, 15. (149) Jason Williams PG

What you're probably thinking when you look at this roster is that they are completely horrible. That I was forced to draft Mike Miller before Chris Paul, Tim Duncan, Paul Pierce, Dwight Howard, etc. And you would be right, that team does look shitty, but there's no other option. After Nash and Nowitzki, who were both gone by my first pick, there is a major drop off. I was stuck picking between Hinrich, Manu and Miller in the 2nd round and ended up getting all three anyway. Throughout the season there were some roster shuffling, mostly to dump dead weight like Luke Walton, Robert Swift and Jason Williams but there were some key pickups. None bigger than the Spaniard Jose Calderon who helped solidify my assists.

Throughout the season I scratched and clawed victories away from my opponents losing points scored basically every week. In the end the Warriors won 17 of their 21 matchups during the regular season, many by 5-4 margins, and finished as the 2nd seed for the playoffs with a bye in the opening round. A week off to relax again go to Cabo with their pop star Russian wives that let them sleep around.

Then came the EPIC post season matchups. Down 5-4 going into the final night of play the White Warriors found themselves down and near dead. But not on Mike Miller's watch. Miller dropped 8 triples that evening and helped the Warriors overcome an 11 3-Pointer Made deficit to advance to the finals. The Warriors won the categories TO, FG%, FT%, 3PM, and REB while losing horribly in BLKs (38-26), Assists (245-122), Steals (77-29) and of course points (800-605).

Now onto the finals, the #1 and #2 seed. The team that had romped everyone during the season versus the team that just got by week to week. Once again going into the final night the White Warriors found themselves down 5-4 with only one category of hope remaining, a category you would never expect them to lose, Free Throw Percentage. Down nearly by nearly .020 percentage points the Warriors needed to step it up on the line. Even their opponent couldn't quite grasp who he wanted to win.

And on that fateful night where the Warriors shot .957 from the stripe, with a little help from opponent Ben Wallace, the Warriors catapulted over the number one seed with a FT% victory (.783-.776) and a championship win of 5-4. At the conclusion the White Warriors won Turnovers, Blocks, Rebounds, FT% and FG% while again getting hammered in the other categories especially points (909-769). But alas in Fantasy Basketball you don't need to score baskets to win. So perhaps when they invent a game where the object is no longer scoring than the White Basketball Player will again rise to the top of the league.


The below players shall be accepting their rings for a championship well earned:

Active Roster
Kirk Hinrich, SG Peja Stojakovic, G Manu Ginobili, SF Kyle Korver, PF Andrei Kirilenko, F Linas Kleiza, C Mehmet Okur, C Rasho Nesterovic, Mike Miller, Jose Calderon, Nick Collison, Andris Biedrins, Luis Scola, Sasha Vujacic, Pau Gasol

Seasonal Contributors
Luke Walton, Jason Williams, Robert Swift, Marco Bellinelli, Joel Pryzbilla, Chris Kaman, Vladimir Radmanovic, Wally Szczerbiak


Thank You And Good Night...

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Long Live Pavano

Just when you had come to hope that you would never hear anything about Carl Pavano for the rest of your life you are proven wrong. In fact sometimes its much better to hear delusional people speak. For instance take this conversation taken from an ESPN.com chat session with Baseball America's Jim Callis:

Fred (Farmingdale): Hi Jim, To paraphrase something I heard from Carl Pavano's agent: there will be a demand for Carl Pavano when he is a free agent because he is a 200 innings pitcher and a number 1 or 2 on the staff. Now I know there will be some teams that will give him a chance but would anyone reasonable think that he will a number 1 or 2 starter? Maybe on an independent league team.

Jim: (2:37 PM ET ) Did his agent really say this? Wow.


And Later:

Fred (Farmingdale): Jim, Here is the actual quote in regards to Carl Pavano: Pavano's agent Tom O'Connell -- the fourth agent the right-hander has gone through in his career -- believes that Pavano would still be a desired commodity on the free-agent market this winter, even with his injury history. "Carl's a 1-2 starter," O'Connell said. "Those guys don't grow on trees. Those guys are very rare, 200-inning guys are very rare in this game, and they're the ones that make the money. And he did it two years in a row, before he got hurt, and I'm sure he's going to do it again."

Jim: (2:42 PM ET ) Well, if Tom O'Connell is sure that Pavano will have two good years again, I'm sure teams will fall all over themselves to empty their wallets.


See how funny that was. It was well worth bringing up Carl Pavano again. How his agent could say those words and not want to play russian roulette with 3 bullets is beyond me. Perhaps he enjoys making a fool out of himself or perhaps he smokes crack. It's got to be one or the other. At the very minimum I would suspect he washes his mouth out with soap.

Thanks Goes to TMags Weekly Reading and Man Crush Over Jim Callis and Here's the Original Article

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