The Yankees haven't been terrible this season but this is in spite of the below contestants who have done their best in attempting to foil the Yankees season. 1. Jason Giambi - He sucks in the field he's got greasy hair he strikes out all the time he gets paid a shit ton and he can't hit a baseball much anymore. Plus there is the general dislike many have for him given the fact he was a complete product of steroid abuse. 2. Robinson Cano - He struggles during the cold months every year, but .160? Seriously .160? You can't even get a hit in 2 at bats given 10? In the powerhouse Yankees lineup Cano has yet to reach double digits in either RBI or Runs scored. 3. Ian Kennedy - I don't think too much was expected from Ian Kennedy other than an ERA around 4 and a .500 record. Well try an ERA double what was expected and a record without any wins and that's what Kennedy has given to the the Yanks thus far this season. 4. Phil Hughes - And then there's Phil Hughes who may soon be diagnosed as allergic to the strike zone. He actually has a worse ERA than Kennedy, a flat run per inning pitched, and has double the amount of losses as Ian, 4 compared to 2. His WHIP sits over 2 meaning he loves pitching out of the stretch. Get Your Vote On Runners Up: Betemit for somehow going on the DL due to pink eye. Joe Girardi for allowing Mike Mussina to throw strikes to Manny, Bobby Abreu for leaking vaginal fluids near the wall

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Typing in this god damn Word Verification every single time I want to make a post is incredibly annoying. Especially considering 50% of the time I have no god damn clue what the letters are. Thanks assbags.

Before the night was over and D'Antoni had left San Antonio after his Phoenix team was eliminated from the playoffs the word was out, he will no longer be the Phoenix coach. It's pretty obvious that if he is going to leave that job he must not think the GM/President and Ownership have full confidence in him and chances are good that the Shaq deal pissed him the hell off. He wants out, he wants a fresh start and he'll let the Suns attempt to develop a half court game with Nash and Shaq, his leaving is understandable. His run and shoot window is over. But how the hell even in that situation could you possibly leave to take the Knicks job.

Can someone get Mike to a hospital please. Someone obviously took a big spill at some point in time this weekend. How exactly would Mike's offense turn the Knicks around? Perhaps I'm missing where the Steve Nash clone is on the Knicks. Perhaps I'm missing how Eddy Curry is going to run the floor any better than Shaq. Perhaps, I'm missing who can be the defensive stopper on the Knicks like Raja Bell. Perhaps, I'm missing how the Knicks have any chance of being successful in the next few seasons.

Actually, I'm not missing anything here. The Knicks suck, they will suck next year, and the year after that. They have no chance of immediately turning it around. Mike, please get checked out before you make a huge mistake.

Note: Mike's Family, please send him to the Chicago for an interview with the Bulls in the chance he gets an interview with the Knicks

Is Tampa Pitcher Matt Garza the Product of Vanilla Ice and a Tanning Bed? Me Thinks So.

The NBA coaching spots are beginning to be filled and there's two very large ends of the spectrum. Some times are opting for the coaches who have bounced around the league a bunch and have seen their fair share of up and downs, none with a more utilized suitcase than Larry Brown. On the complete opposite end, everybody and their transvestite step sons think that Mark Jackson who has never spent a single moment on the bench of an NBA team as a coach will wind up as the Knicks next coach.

Larry Brown will be 68 throughout the 08-09 season while Jackson will only be 43. Larry Brown has been coaching in the NBA, ABA or NCAA since 1975. Jackson was a 10 year old in 1975. Brown has won both an NCAA Title and an NBA title while Jackson was never a member of a champion in either the NBA or NCAA. We know Brown can be a winner but we also were witness to the epic disaster of his New York Knicks. But can you blame Brown for it? Can you believe that it was Brown and not Isiah that wanted to bring in Stevie Franchise? We also know that if Larry Brown is offered a better opportunity he'll probably jump at it. So despite the championship pedigree you know what you are getting with Larry Brown.

But what do we know about Jackson and his potential coaching prowess. As an undersized and not particularly athletic point guard Jackson had to work incredibly hard to make it as an NBA player. He worked so hard that he finished his career with the 2nd most assists in the history of the NBA. He knows how to run offenses and lead on the court but is that everything or anything really? The same could be said for both Magic Johnson and Isiah Thomas, both were terrific point guards who were both leaders and knew how to run an offense. And look what happened to their coaching career. We also know that Mark Jackson through his TV gig should be able to handle the scrutiny in NYC. But we also know through his TV gig that he isn't particularly afraid to bare his opinion and possibly ruffle some feathers.

Both of these coaches have an incredible amount of question marks. The question marks are just completely different. So which side of the spectrum would you rather sit on?

Just when I speak up yesterday the Celtics go out and play a miserable 4th quarter and now find themselves in an interesting 2-2 series. The reason? Joe Johnson throttled them for 20 points in the 4th quarter alone and pretty much got to the bucket and scored at will. Ray Ray was not the defensive answer. Perhaps the Celtics should work on some kind of game plan to keep him out of the lane and/or put a hand in his face when he actually is shooting the basketball.

Or... I guess they could just lose the series if they rather do that.

Don't like Tom Gorzelanny's 8+ ERA to start the season? Well his bobblehead says go screw.

Courtesy of The Pittsburgh Channel

One valuable little lesson that you should not have learned was that you are not supposed to make the last out at home. Rather, the last out is the last out. Home, 1st, 2nd, fly ball, strikeout, anywhere, it's still the last out. In fact it's probably beneficial if the fielder attempts to throw a runner out at home rather than 1st because there is no force play at home.

Thankfully the only thing my infield single with runners on 2nd and 3rd would have landed us, if the runner scored like he should have, was an extra inning of getting pummeled. But I guess it does say that the combination of poor talent, poor execution and poor knowledge of the fundamentals of the game is not necessarily a very good combination for a winning ball club.

I was busy getting drunk on Friday and Saturday to realize what was going on during the NBA playoffs and I've come to the conclusion that what I missed was a collective nothing. Once again the NBA postseason has been completely dull and story-less thus far. 5 series are currently at 3-1, the Lakers are at 3-0, the Celtics will most likely increase their series lead to 3-1, and the only series knotted up consists of two incredibly boring squads to watch in the Sixers and Pistons.

The Suns Spurs was the one series I was truly looking forward to watching, and thanks to their inability to hold onto a lead in San Antonio they put themselves in an almost impossible 3-0 hole. The Celtics despite them being my team of choice play uninspiring uninteresting games against the Hawks. The only interesting part of the Lakers series is watching the Nuggets internally self destruct during the postgame commentary. The Hornets eat up Jason Kidd to the point where he tried to throw Pargo's head into the parquet. The Rockets can't win a playoff series with Yao nevermind without him. The Lebron's could have found themselves in an interesting series if they lost game 4, but alas Delonte West who was the real value in their midseason trade had to make bunch of threes. The Magic are dismantling the boring Raptors. And finally you have a 2-2 series between the 76ers with zero superstars versus the boring Pistons.

The first round had potential but it's all gone now, so please someone wake me up if the playoffs get interesting at any point in time.

~First off let me just echo what my buddy Joe thought of the draft, it was boring. The one player that you really will be looking forward to watch take the field this year is going to a perennial 4 win team who won't be on TV much and additionally have 3 running backs who will compete for touches with him. The rest of the 1st round consisted of lineman, who while will be very beneficial to teams won't be players to diligently follow this year.

~The Jets draft was also boring. I obviously wanted McFadden but figured they'd end up with Gholston. I'm surprised they traded up for Keller whom everyone seems to think would have been a round when they picked in the 2nd round. The worst thing about Keller is that, it makes me think they are highly contemplating going back to Pennington this year. A tight end roaming around in the middle is the perfect complement to Chad's weak arm. One of the many remaining Wide Out who could spread the field would help someone with a strong arm, not a Tight End Dallas Clark clone. The pick of Erik Ainge was eh, it's the 5th round it's probably a good gamble. And the rest were players who I don't know. So pretty much a non-nondescript boring draft.

~The Jets apparently signed Danny Woodhead the white kid that ESPN was following all day long. That's probably the most exciting thing the Jets did this weekend.

~Meanwhile the enemy improved where they needed it the most by drafting three linebackers (Jerod Mayo (1st), Shawn Crable (3rd) & Bo Ruud (6th)). So pretty much despite losing their own 1st round pick the Patriots found a way to significantly improve the weaknesses of their roster. Makes you feel real great if you are a fan of a different AFC East team.

~It seems like the Weed penalty for the draft is severe. Let's be honest, a lot of these players whether caught or not have smoked weed before. Is it a positive? Of course not. But is it really enough to drop a stock from the 1st round to the 3rd round? I don't really think so, but what do I know.

~On that note, I think the Giants drafting Manningham in the 3rd round was a really solid selection. If Eli can improve his consistency again this season they could have an improved offense. They have depth and weapons everywhere. Boss and Shockey are two solid TEs. Bradshaw and Jacobs offer a superior change of pace in the backfield. And a wide receiver core of Plax, the emerging Steve Smith, Manningham, Tyree and Sinorice Moss will give the Giants to expand the field at will.

~Caleb Campbell the Army player getting drafted and possibly avoiding a trip to Iraq is a good story and a good policy by West Point. If a person from the Academy can be a good will ambassador for the program and possibly increase the number of Cadets than it makes sense to let the kid play in the NFL.

~Mike Hart slipping to the 6th round just shows you how valuable physical numbers are rather than playing numbers. He doesn't have the speed, he doesn't have the size, but he always got it done.

~I was hoping the Dolphins would draft Mike Hart so they could lose to Ohio St. for 4 straight seasons.

~Again perhaps it's just me, but I think I'd rather have Brohm or Henne 40 picks later than Joe Flacco.

~The Cowboys drafting Felix Jones instead of Rashard was pretty funny, but it probably makes sense.

~Chad Johnson not getting traded was stupid.

~Jason Taylor not getting traded was stupid.

~Shockey not getting traded was not stupid.

Nugent nailing this kick to help the Jets win in Overtime the final week of the season cost the Jets the best player in the draft. Woo...

If you're in a fantasy league you should never be the ass that offers insulting trades like this. Why the hell would anyone want Jason Giambi?

Who wants to win a green jacket when you can win a plaid one sponsored by erizon.

Apparently winning the Masters does not necessarily carry over to the next time you play in a golf tournament. I'm glad I didn't use him on my Best Ball team.

Every year before the NFL Draft I watch this video just to remind me that no matter how exciting the Draft is for most teams, it always seems to be a disappointment for the Jets. Anyway, just for the fun of it let's look back at each of the picks featured in this video and see whom they could have drafted instead.

1980: Johnny Lam Jones #2
Lam Jones won a gold medal in the 76 Olympics on the relay team and was a burner with not so solid hands playing for the Jets from 80-85. Picked immediately following Jones was Anthony Munoz who turned out to be not half bad at Offensive Tackle. The next wideout taken in the draft? Art Monk at 18. Solid job New York.

1981: Freeman McNeil #3
He played for the Jets from 81-92 and actually made three Pro Bowls so he wasn't a complete bust. The remaining running backs in the draft were nothing special and the only 1st round draft pick left on the board was Ronnie Lott who went 8th (LT was drafted at #2).

1983: Ken O'Brien #24
O'Brien was the Jets QB from 83-92 and made 2 Pro Bowls. Again he wasn't that good or that bad and not much of a bust really. The problem is they chose him over Marino.

1987: Roger Vick #21
Fullbacks basically never go in the first round, yet the genius Jets took Vick who only played 3 years on the team. No real standouts in this draft either, other than Bo Jackson who was picked in the 7th round by the Raiders because he was pursuing baseball rather than football at the time.

1989: Jeff Lageman #14
The Jets reached for Logeman at 14 and he ended up spending 6 seasons with the team and never made a pro bowl. Yet again there really weren't any superb other options for the Jets as the only other future pro bowlers left from the 1st round were Wayne Martin who also was a D End, Steve Atwater and Bad Moon Rison. No Hall of Famers there.

1990: Blair Thomas #2
This is where the picks get really bad. Thomas never made a Pro Bowl and was out of the Jets organization by 1993 after rushing for only 5 tds in 4 years. Perennial Pro Bowlers Cortez Kennedy and Junior Seau were taken in the top 5. While the next running back taken off the board was Emmit Smith with pick #17. Hell even Rodney Hampton at pick 24 made a pro bowl. The Jets also had another selection in 90 and went with Rob Moore at pick #26. Moore did make a pro bowl team with the Jets in 94.

1992: Johnny Mitchell #15
Played with the team from 92-95 and was out of the league by 1997. The pick following was Chester McGlockton. Basically the moral of the story is don't draft TEs.

1995: Kyle Brady #9
With your entire fan base cheering for you to pick a perennial pro bowler you slap them in the face and pick Kyle Brady who like Mitchell only played 4 seasons with the Jets and never made a Pro Bowl. The Jets later in the draft selected Hugh Douglas at pick #16 who made three pro bowls after the Jets intelligently got rid of him. Imagine how formidable a Defensive line in the late 90s centered around Warren Sapp and Hugh Douglas could have been. But why do that when there's a shitty tight end on the board.

Everyone needs something to keep them occupied on Friday afternoons so the Friday Video Blowout was born. Spend your next few minutes, laughing, crying of laughter, pissing your self, whatever, but mostly wasting your companies time.

Videos In Order Courtesy of BC, Odenized, The Beautiful Game, TBL, CO-ED, Fanhouse, FanIQ, With Leather, Everyone


This did not happen in the section I was in. Lame.


I believe I can fly I believe I can touch the rim.


Eh, not that impressive.



This is the Same idiot who voted for AJ in the 2006 MVP Vote.


Man Rick Barry's free throw is gay.


Umm, you're annoying.


Get those seats while they're hot. Or have they moved already?


http://view.break.com/492330 - Watch more free videos
Blood is fun. So much fun. Who needs a helmet.


Wow, this is pathetic.

Last year my genius gym decided that it was going to rid itself of all normal benches and and replace them with Smith Machines. I'm not exactly sure why, perhaps because they can be utilized for squats or perhaps because they are 'safer' for the person doing their bench presses, or the fact you can put an adjustable bench and do either regular bench presses or incline presses. Ok, it was probably a combination of all of those reasons, but after about 2 years of doing regular bench presses I was pretty annoyed.

After the year, I've gotten pretty used to the Smith Machines, I do that and mix in a few dumbell presses and some flys and call it a day. You get used to what's available to you. Until they decided, probably due to the steroid abusers whining, to bring back a regular bench press. So I figured why not try to mix it back into the rotation. The results? Holy shit my shoulder stablizers are weak as hell thanks to the stupid Smith machines. I can't bench anything heavy anymore because me arms wobble from side to side and north to south. There is not stopping it, it's pathetic and incredibly annoying. And it's all due to those damn Smith machines.

Let's be honest no one knows what the hell is going to happen for the draft. Everyone is just guessing. So here is my "Guess" Draft. I actually filled this out last week, so do I get bonus points for getting Jake Long right? No? Ok, whatever.

Also, I basically created the draft on the whole hope that McFadden will somehow drop to the Jets. So, expect it to be completely wrong.

Back when Johnny Damon was a Red Sock he was beloved by the 'Nation' and intensely hated by many Yankee fans including myself. And then his free agency loomed, should he stay with the Red Sox for significantly less money or venture to the opposite side of the rivalry and play for the Yanks. And when he chose the Yanks instead of the Sox the Nation felt betrayed and Yankee fans like myself were stuck attempting to figure out how they could possibly root for the guy. With that being said there was an explanation for why he jumped ship. It wasn't that all things being equal he decided to cross into enemy lines, no he just went where the money was. It was an understandable decision as a decent percentage of us probably would have done the same thing.

Now meet Justin Boren who as a sophomore started for the Michigan Wolverines but decided he did not like the coaching methods of Rich Rodriguez and would rather transfer. So with a multitude of options out there, all providing different playing/educational benefits, Justin Boren decided of all places he wanted to go to Ohio St. Unlike Pryor who had no affiliation and had the right to pick between the two he has spent two years of his life building a relationship with his teammates. He could have gone anywhere but he basically told all of those teammates to go screw with the only reasoning here being he wants to be a complete asshole.

Oh wait, he probably is getting paid more. Nevermind, completely understandable.

~Does Vernon Gholston look like a comic book character?

~Jake Long receiving the largest contract for any offensive lineman in the league seems completely ludicrous. This is what I don't understand about the NFL. For a league with so many restrictions built to lower the salaries in the league, from the lack of guaranteed deals to the hard cap, how do they have absolutely no salary structure for their draft picks? Why would Miami want to bring in a talented young player who may or may not become a pro bowl with the biggest contract in the league rather than bring in an already proven player and pay him less.

~I don't really see what there is to lose for the Cowboys in trading for Pacman Jones. If he doesn't play they take a mild risk in giving up a 4th round pick but receiving a pick next year in return. If he does play he will certainly be worth a 4th round pick and whatever pick they will need to give additionally next year. Seems like a solid risk-reward decision to me.

~Meanwhile I don't get the Vikings trade for Jared Allen at all. Certainly he is a superb player, but he does have two DUIs and another one lands a year suspension, so it's not like you're getting the classiest or most responsible of individuals. Additionally did you have to give him the highest contract in the league on top of packaging a 1st round pick and two third round picks. Seems pretty stupid on their part.

~Why do the Redskins not care about the draft at all? I understand the appeal of landing Chad Johnson but haven't they learned a single lesson that this league is most often by making solid draft choices?

~Speaking of that trade proposal the Bengals are idiots. Why keep Chad Johnson if you are just going to end up fighting the entire season with him? Why incite him by saying he can sit out if he wants to? Why not get potentially two first round picks for a 30 year old receiver that sooner rather than later will be on the decline of his career. If you can't find valuable players with two first round picks than maybe you should re-evaluate your entire franchise.

~Perhaps the Matt Walsh interviews will result in the Pats 7th pick being stripped. Eh, why ask for just the 7th, let's get greedy and ask for the entire draft.

~On that note, why does Chris Mortensen keep on saying we know Billy B has been taping other teams signals since 2000? When exactly was that fully established by the NFL and the media? Perhaps I just missed this.

The Devil Rays have never in their franchise history finished better than 4th or won more than 70 games and it shows.

Lineup (min. 100 games)

C: Dioner Navarro 2007: They got rid of Toby Hall cause he hit .231 and then Navarro goes out and hits .227 in 388 at bats the following year.

1B: Travis Lee 2006: .224 average and .295 On Base % in 343 at bats.

2B: Brent Abernathy 2002: 2 Home Runs with a .599 OPS in 463 ABs.

3B: Aubrey Huff 2001: .248 average and a .288 on base % with only 8 homers over 411 at bats.

SS: Kevin Stocker 1998: .208 Average, .282 On Base %, and .313 Slugging % in 336 at bats. All around awful.

OF: Damon Hollins 2006: .228 Average and .269 On Base % over 333 at bats in 121 games.

OF: Jonny Gomes 2006: The man Hollins was in a DH/OF/Bench platoon with hit a robust .216 in 2006 with 116 Ks in 385 at bats.

OF: Al Martin 2003: Split time between DHing and playing the OF but for this purpose he shall be considered in the OF. He hit 3 home runs and had 2 steals in 238 total at bats. Now that's production.

DH: Paul Sorrento 1998 : .225 average and a .313 On Base % while mostly DHing.

BN: Felix Martinez 2000: basically just as bad as Stocker at SS in 2000. Hit .214 with a .305 On Base % and .298 slugging percentage. Yes a slugging percentage below .300. Wow.

BN: Nick Green 2005: 3 Homers and 2 steals with a .239 average in 318 at bats.

BN: Geoff Blum 2004: While platooning everywhere for the Drays in 04 Blum hit .215 with a miserable .266 On Base % in 339 at bats.

BN: Jared Sandberg 2002:.229 average and 139 Ks in 358 at bats.

Starting Pitching (min. 18 starts)

SP: Tanyon Sturtze 2002: Win loss record doesn't necessarily say everything about a pitcher's performance, but damn 4-18 is bad.

SP: Ryan Rupe 2000: 5-6 with a 6.92 ERA. 160 Base runners in 91 innings. (Note was just as bad in 2001)

SP: Joe Kennedy 2003 : 3-12 with a 6.13 ERA in 32 games 22 started.

SP: Hideo Nomo 2005: Gave up over a touchdown per game with an ERA of 7.24 going 5-8 in 19 starts.

SP: Edwin Jackson 2007: Sucked less the last month of the season but 5-15 with a 5.76 ERA is terrible.

Relief Pitching (min. 25 appearances)

RP: Casey Fossum 2007: Sure he started 10 games, but he also came out in relief in 30 and finished with 76 innings pitched and an ERA of 7.70.

RP: Jesus Colome 2002: 8.27 ERA and 88 base runners over 41.3 innings.

RP: Shawn Camp 2007: 0-3 with a 7.20 ERA over 50 appearances.

RP: Brian Stokes 2007: 2-7 with a 7.07 ERA over 59 apperances.

RP: Travis Harper 2005:6.75 ERA over 52 appearances.

RP: Doug Creek 2002: No idea who this guy is but he had 6.27 ERA in 29 appearances.

RP: Seth McClung 2005: Half his appearances were starts but whatever he was miserable for 3 straight years. In 05 he finished with and ERA of 6.59 his worst over that span.

All Crap Team Index

Up 1 with seconds remaining in a huge European Clash? What to do when a ball is crossed into your penalty box? How about head the ball into you're own net? Apparently John Arne Riise thought that was a good idea. I don't know if Liverpool fans agreed.



And Because this will surely get taken down from Youtube, here are some fun pictures.

Entering the NFL draft there's many different perspectives. They range from Jake Long who is now a multimillionaire and won't have to do anything but walk up to the podium and put on a Dolphins hat again. Meanwhile players like Sam Keller will be watching the second day in the hopes that they will here their name called and won't end up playing in the arena league. But Jake Long is a 300 pound oaf who may or may not currently have a smoking hot gf. Meanwhile Keller as evidence above and in more photos at Busted Coverage, already has the smoking hot gf. So the question is, would you rather have the cash or the hot lady?

I'd imagine everyone would say cash.

It's Pig Dinner Weekend again so at the request of my assbag fraternity brothers I've put together another rankings going into the weekend. It appears as if Fors will not be suiting up for the tournament but rather will be not 100% intoxicated and yelling at people over nothing. Regardless his absence opens it up for another team to actually win this year.

1. The Mighty Putz: Jamie Carlson (1999), Mike Dorval (2002), Ryan Fournier (2000), Dana Griffin (2000)

This team should probably be monitored the entire tournament as mass cheating is most likely committed. If you're under 5 foot 6 you can't be completely trustworthy. See Conidi for a reference...

2. Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear: Ron Wright (2002), Matt Siska (2002), Jeff Costa (2002), Greg Lacamera (2002)

I feel as if they post a good score each year, but never quite remember. So they shall be placed at the same spot as last year. 2.

3. The Immortal 4: Justin Billings (2005), Daniel "Cotton" Schwab (2005), Matt Simone (2005), Jimbo Loiselle (2005)

Fuck it. These are my god damn rankings and I'm putting lofty expectations on Cotton to actually show up this weekend and for myself to be not 100% drunk and useless. No expectations will be put on Bones.

4. Conor Casey Memorial Foursome: Karl Gebhardt (2004), Gary Pedro (2004), Brian Abcunas (2004), Brian Pitreau (2002)

Pitreau has a lot of cheating to make up for. I just don't foresee him lying and saying that he has won the long drive or that the squad is 4 under better than what they actually finished.

5. 3/4 Busch Light Brigade: Andrew Frascotti (2006), Jared Deck (2006), Jeff Perras (2006), John Tehrani (2006)

Mills is apparently too lazy to join the rest of his Busch Light Brigade and instead was replaced by Deck. What kind of excuse is running 26 miles anyway, and for Country Music in the miserable state of Tennessee. I expect a return to action next year.

6. Chipper 'n' Dales: Brent Shannon (2007), Ryan DeChristoforo (2006), Drew Forrest (2006), Misael Diaz (Undergrad)

I've heard the whole Misael was a golf pro rumor before and right now I'm playing it as 2/3s truth and 1/3 Barret story. So I'm skeptical.

7. Team Ramrod: Justin Wheeler (2003), Matt Clark (2003), Paul Elliott (2003), Shawn Walker (2004)

I can't imagine Wheeler contributing much to the squad but Clarky, Elliot and Walker should be able to keep the team in contention.

8. pig 'n putt: Jon Rich (2001), Paul O'Brien (2001), Jay Cardinal (2001), Curtis Britton (2002)

A lot of time it seems like the older guys are good at golf. After a few Pig Dinner tournaments I've come to realize that these guys are not. Not good at all.

9. Golf Any Style: Wes Salomon (2005), John Courtney (2005), Toby Maglione (2005), Eric Sands (2005)

The imagery of Wes Salomon swinging a golf once is enough to burn a person's retinas. Forcing yourself to watch Wes over the course of 18 holes good lead to perminant loss of vision.

10. Clubs and Shrubs: Brian McDonough (2007), Bryan Bussone (2007), Nate Birmingham (2006), Ryan Hollister (2007)

For some strange reason I get the sense that the height of their mental state may hinder their play over the back 9.

11. The Shanksville Duffs: Lou Frascotti (1979),Joe Frascotti (Undergrad), Joe Renaud (2007), Greg Pawlowski (Undergrad)

At least this year sweet lou doesn't have to worry about some stories which are completely false. He just has to worry about whether any of the young guys he's saddled with can hit a golf ball without it going into the woods.

12. The Whalers: Joe Leverone (Undergrad), Ryan Sebastian (Undergrad), Justin Thomas (Undergrad), Michael Pagonis (Undergrad)

They're undergrads so they probably suck. Not as much as Grutt but pretty bad.

13. The Fraternity of Mu Tau: Joseph Gruttadauria (2005), Anthony Smith (2005), Sean Mahoney (2005), Rick Adams (2005)

Last year I picked them last and they didn't finish last, despite zero birdies during 18 holes of play. So this year they get a one spot reprieve. Perhaps they can actually get one birdie. Or perhaps they will make up for last year and finish in last. We shall see.

14. Aaron Vanney Memorial Foursome: Chris Hamel (2004), Sean Coughlin (2004), Derek Ransom (2005), Wes Chapman V (2004)

I'm sorry Coughlin but I had to move you guys to last this year. The squad moved from 2 people high and 2 bad golfers to three people high and 1 bad golfer. Probably not a step in the right direction.... but atleast you don't have Grutt on your team.

Unknown Soldiers

The rest of the bunch of golfers that I probably know limited about.

Fat, Drunk & Stupid: Andy "Old Man" Williams (1992), Sean "Dog" Doherty (1992), Eddie Leono (1995), Add New Member

Burnt Stumps: Bill Musiak (1993), Dave Henry (1993), Sean Conley (1995), Jim Meystrik (1995)

Over? Nothing Is Over Until We Decide It Is......: Bill (The Tuna) Trask (2001), Wally (and that foot is me) Towner (1988), Add New Member, Add New Member

FIJI Masters: David Vogt (1977), Alex Vogt (1975), Jon Wyman (1975), Robert Ferrari (1974)

Legends of the Links: Matt Jeffers (1993), Bill Johnson (1993), Chris Ledoux (1993), Add New Member

Joe Faulk Sucks: Meat Igo (1999), Dusty Dyer (1999), Matt Roski (1999), Stick Gallimore (1999)

Team Donkey Punch: BG Chabot (1996),
Alan Assner (1996), Matt O'Brien (1997), Ted Manley (1997)

We Are Who You Thought We Were: John Lehane (1999), Tim Briggs (2000), Gregg Burnett (2000), Max Gomez (2000)

Four guys one cup: Mark Simon (1996), Mark Palmer (1998), Brian Zaleski (1996), Scott Theriault (1998)

Sons of Armand: Mike Spencer (2001), Dan Erickson (2001), Greg Halloran (2000), Mike Young (2001)

Other Predictions & Facts

The Team with the lamest name is Golf Any Style which came out of Wes Swallowman's only I think it's funny mind.

Pierce's bald dome covered by a hat will be highly missed. As will the missing of the drunk cheating Connor Casey of old, as the sober non hole marker destroyer version of Connor last year doesn't really count.

Tehrani will have the least hetero-sexual outfit. Which I'd imagine would include pink pants.

Bones will start saying things that don't make any sense by hole 4.

The ideal 4-some would certainly include the absent Ziggy.

The Jets will draft someone I hate (i.e. Vernon Gholston) and I will shank my shot immediately following.

I will not snap my driver in half this year.

Cotton will start giggling by the back 9.

Grutt will not win our Par 3 bet this year as I will not accept betting on the 100 foot par 3 with a green the size of the Indian Ocean.

Do Undergrads exist? All signs point to no.

8:00 I show up to Madison Square Garden and someone's in my parking spot. Boo.

8:01 I drive to the next parking spot and see a sign that says "Parking for anyone Who Isn't Named Isiah Thomas". I am sad. Tears almost shed.

8:02 Every parking space seems to have the same sign. They also have pictures of my face with a big red circle around it and a dash through the center. I don't quite understand what that means.

8:05 I search for a parking space on the street no luck.

8:15 I finally find a parking space 5 blocks away. I get out of my car. And begin walking down the street.

8:20 Man attempts to throw his coffee at me. Says I ruined the Knicks. I attempt to tell him that the Knicks are well on their way to an NBA championship and that I will see them through. He tells me to go fuck myself. I attempt to explain to him that despite the fact that I am well hung it would be impossible. He calls me an ass and leaves.

8:28 I get to MSG, yay. Home sweet home.

8:30 Security Guard is not so nice to me. He hands me a memo from Jim and Donny. I read. "Hey Isiah, You suck. I wish we didn't have to pay you 18 million dollars. But alas we do. So instead of firing you we are going to set out to embarass you in the hopes that you quit and we don't have to pay you. The security guard will direct you to you're new 'office'" Well that was a bummer.

8:40 I get to my office. It seems to be awfully close to the furnace, and there seem to be rats running around. But there is a note on the wall. "In order to make your office more homey we've given you wired internet access." Hooray I love the Interwebs.

8:45 Yay Pledge of Allegience Time. I love America.

8:46 PA Man doesn't do the Pledge of Allegience, he instead does, Pledge to Hate Isiah.

I Pledge Allegience, to the Haters of Isiah Thomas and to the Knicks who he forever scarred, one hatred under God indivisible with Hatred and Vengeance for Us All."

8:47 Sad Face.

8:50 Ohh yay a phone call. It's Jim. Yay. "Hi Isiah, just to let you know we don't want you to talk to anybody. You have no title you have no employees and you shall not talk to the team."

"Can I look at internet porn?"

"Umm Sure"

Hooray I can look at internet porn.

8:55 - 9:30 Asian Internet Porn really needs more Yao Ming. I don't think he would fit in our cap.

9:30 - 10:30 Inter-racial & Gay porn cause I'm not a racist nor a sexist

10:30-11:00 I thought I would go check out what blogs had to say about me... They weren't very nice.

11:00 I'm bored, I think I'll call Stephon maybe we can get lunch.

11:01 The phone tells me I can't call outside numbers... I'll try again.

11:10 I tried 30 times and it still won't let me call anyone. Let me try my cell phone.

11:12 No cell phone reception, I guess that's what happens when you're in the basement. I'll go outside.

11:13 Hmm that's confusing, the door is locked. I guess I can wait a while I'm not that hungry.

11:15-11:30 Check out how my fantasy team did this year. Oooh, not so good. I guess I shouldn't have drafted Jamal Crawford in the 2nd round.

11:35 I try to leave again, the door is locked. I start knocking and a nice man responds to me. "Sorry Isiah you are not allowed out of your office during working hours. We will deliver food to you. What will you like to have?"

"I would like a sushi box with extra soy sauce." I like to eat healthy.

11:35-12:35 Hour nap. I need my beauty sleep.

12:40 I get my lunch. I don't think this is sushi. It looks like a 5 day old dead fish with some white rice. I think I will wait to eat.

12:45 The not so nice man opens my door and says that it's exercise time. He throws me a basketball. Yay Basketball. I'm good at basketball.

12:46 Sad face, the basketball is flat. And the hoop was made of cardboard. Not so nice man laughs at me and closes the door.

12:47-2:00 Boredom/looking at internet porn/searching for nude photos of Anucha

2:01-4:00 Not so nice man says it's video time. Shows me this video on loop...



4:00-5:00 Not so nice man says it's reading time. He says todays mail theme is Isiah death threats....

5:01 Those weren't very nice... Ok time to go home... Not so Nice man at the door tells me I can't leave until all Knick employees have left the building.

5:01-7:00 Stare at the wall crying.

7:01 Not so Nice Man tells me I can leave.

7:20 My car window is broken and someone took a dump on my steering wheel. That wasn't nice... Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

The Red Sox have 2 World Series Titles in the past 4 seasons but damn some of those lineups in the lat 90s were miserable.

Lineup (min. 100 games)

C: Jason Varitek 2006: In an effort to look completely washed up V-Tek hit .238 with only 12 dingers in 365 at bats.

1B: Brian Daubach 2000: .248 average with a .315 On Base % and mediocre power numbers for a first baseman make Daubach the worst of the bunch. (Tony Clark didn't quite reach 100 games played)

2B: Mike Benjamin 1998: An OPS of .682 wouldn't get many of the Sabermatricians calling Benjamin's name.

3B: John Valentin 1999: At one point Valentin was a fan favorite and then he hit .253 with an on base % of .315 and he was done as the Sox regular third baseman.

SS: Mike Lansing 2001: In one of the many years Nomar got injured, Mike Lansing got the bulk of the pt to the tune of .250 batting average and 34 rbis in 352 at bats. (Pokey Reese didn't quite reach 100 games played)

OF: Darren Lewis 1999: If you have a slugging % of .309 you better have more than the 16 steals Darren Lewis had in 470 at bats.

OF: Darren Bragg 1997: No power no average centerfielders were the rave in Fenway in the late 1990s as Bragg preceded Lewis with .257 average and only 9 home runs in 513 at bats.

OF: Troy O'leary 2001:Much of his pt came when Crazy Carl (who also had a miserable season) was out, but O'Leary finished up with an average of .248 and an On Base % of .298.

DH: Dante Bichette 2001: No DH put up miserable stats for the Red Sox but Bichette's season of 12 home runs in 391 at bats with an On Base % of .325 wasn't very good.

BN: Rey Sanchez 2002: In typical 2B form had 1 home run and 38 rbi over 357 at bats with an On Base % of only .318.

BN: Manny Alexander 2000: Sure he was mostly a defensive replacement and utility guy and less of a regular, but he did get in 101 games played and hit .211 during them.

BN: Alex Gonzalez 2006: The Red Sox let O-Cab go first, then traded away Renteria and then brought in Alex Gonzalez. He rewarded them with a .299 On Base % and only 9 homers in 388 at bats.

BN: Jose Offerman 2000: Hit .255 in 451 at bats and always looked awkward doing so.

Starting Pitching (min. 18 starts)

SP: Ramon Martinez 2000: One would have thought putting Ramon behind his brother could have paid off big dividends instead Ramon was miserable posting a 6.13 ERA in 27 starts.

SP: John Burkett 2003: He looked like he should have been retired for years when he posted a 5.15 ERA in 03.

SP: Steve Avery 1997: Coming from the NL to the AL certainly didn't work out for Avery who posted a 6.42 ERA in 22 games including 18 starts.

SP: Mark Portugal 1999: Over 31 appearances including 27 starts Portugal only threw 150 innings and had an ERA of 5.51.

SP: Frank Castillo 2002: Forgive me if I forget Frank Castillo as a baseball player one would have thought a 5.07 ERA and a 6-15 record would be memorable.

Relief Pitching (min. 25 appearances)

RP: Alan Embree 2005: 7.65 ERA over 43 appearances didn't help the Sox defending their title.

RP: Ramiro Mendoza 2003: 6.75 ERA over 37 games made Red Sox fans say that he was still being paid by the Boss.

RP: Rich Garces 2002: El Guapo aka the Fat One was beloved by Sox fans until his ERA balooned to 7.59 in 26 appearances.

RP: Matt Mantei : The Sox picked up Mantei to solidify the pen in hopes that he would regain the stuff that made him a closer once. He posted a 6.49 ERA and was universally hated.

RP: John Halama 2005: Halama worked as a miserable psuedo long relief guy in 2005 to the tune of a 6.18 ERA.

RP: Kerry Lacy : Lacy was 23 year old Red Sox farm hand in 1996 when he came up and gave the Sox some solid relief work. Than in 1997 he finished the year with a 6.11 ERA. He never threw in a major league game afterwards.

RP: Heathcliff Slocumb 1997: Back in the days prior to Papelbon Red Sox fans were forced to watch Slocumb and his 5.79 ERA try to close games out.

All Crap Team Index

Michael Strahan would like to wish Tom Brady his Patriot Teammates, all Bostonians and all of those residing in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts a Very Happy Patriots Day.

Over the past 11 seasons the New York Yankees have made the postseason every year, so one would imagine that their all crap team wouldn't be that bad. Well come to find out, they are. They are very bad. Especially the pitching staff.

Lineup (min. 100+ Games)

C: Joe Girardi 1997: .264 Batting Average with 1 HR over 398 at bats.

1B: Tony Clark 2004: .221 Batting Average with 92 strikeouts over 106 games and 253 at bats.

2B: Tony Womack 2005: .276 On Base % with 0 home runs over 329 at bats.

3B: Scott Brosius 2000: .230 average over 470 at bats.

SS: Derek Jeter 1997: .291 Batting Average with only 10 home runs over 654 at bats. When DJ is your SS for over a decade it's tough to find a miserable season.

OF: Chad Curtis 1998: .243 Batting Average with 80 strikeouts over 456 at bats.

OF: Chuck Knoblauch 2001: .250 with 9 Home Runs over 137 miserably fielded games. Chuckies move to the OF was a bad one.

OF: Rondell White 2002: .288 on base % with 86 strikeouts over 455 at bats.

DH: Ruben Sierra 2004: .244 batting average over .307 at bats.

BN: Andy Philips 2006: .240 batting average with 56 strikeouts compared to 59 hits in 246 at bats.

BN: Jorge Posada 1999: .245 batting average with 91 strikeouts compared to 93 hits in 379 at bats.

BN: Charlie Hayes 1997: .258 batting average over 353 at bats.

BN: Bernie Williams 2005: .249 average with 12 home runs over 485 at bats.

Starting Pitching (min. 18 starts)

SP: David Cone 2000: 4-14 with a 6.91 ERA over 30 games including 29 starts. Allowed 192 hits and 82 walks in 155 innings.

SP: Jeff Weaver 2003: 7-9 with a 5.99 ERA over 30 games including 24 starts.

SP: Kenny Rogers 1997: 6-7 with a 5.65 ERA over 31 games including 22 starts.

SP: Mike Mussina 2007: 11-10 with a 5.15 ERA over 27 starts. Allowed 185 hits and 35 walks over 152 innings.

SP: Ted Lilly 2001: 5-6 with a 5.37 ERA over 26 games and 21 starts.

Relief Pitching (min. 25 appearances)

RP: Mike Stanton 1998: 5.47 ERA over 67 games.

RP: Jason Grimsley 2000: 5.04 ERA over 63 games.

RP: Felix Heredia 2004: 6.28 ERA over 47 games. 44 Hits and 20 Walks allowed over 38.7 innings.

RP: Sean Henn 2007: 7.12 ERA over 29 games.

RP: Ron Villone 2006: 5.04 ERA over 70 games.

RP: Juan Acevedo 2003: 7.71 ERA over 26 games.

RP: Kyle Farnsworth 2007: 4.80 ERA over 64 games.

All Crap Team Index

Inspired by the misery that is Jason Giambi and Mike Mussina's start of the 2008 season I have decided to venture into the land of research and create and all crap decade team for each major league team. The All-Crap decade teams will consist of the worst regulars from the 1997-2007 seasons. The Qualifications I will use for regular is 100+ games played for any fielder, 18+ starts for any starter and 25 appearances for any reliever. So we shall be getting started shortly.

AL East: New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, Tampa Bay Devil Rays, Baltimore Orioles, Toronto Blue Jays

AL Central: Cleveland Indians, Detroit Tigers, Kansas City Royals, Chicago White Sox, Minnesota Twins

AL West: Seattle Mariners, LAA Angels, Texas Rangers, Oakland A's

NL East: New York Mets, Atlanta Braves, Florida Marlins, Washington Nationals, Philadelphia Phillies

NL Central: St. Louis Cardinals, Houston Astros, Chicago Cubs, Pittsburgh Pirates, Milwaukee Brewers, Cincinnati Reds

NL West: San Diego Padres, LA Dodgers, Arizona Diamondbacks, Colorado Rockies, San Francisco Giants

If you watched the Mets game last night or have seen Mike Pelfrey pitch at any point in time this season than you must certainly have noticed him playing with something in his mouth. Not gum nor chewing tobacco like normal baseball players. Rather Pelfrey chews and plays with a mouth guard throughout the game. I don't know if I've ever seen another pitcher wear a mouth guard before. Nevermind pitch with it out of their mouth like below. It just seems weird.

This season the NBA has listened to one of my many thoguht and has started to track a players +/- during the course of individual games. Due to my dislike of Brian Scalabrine, I am going to track he's performance in a weekly post called The Scalabrine Watch. 3 Million a year for what?

Celtics 106 Bulls 92: DNP

Celtics 92 Pacers 77: DNP

Celtics 101 Bobcats 78: 12

6 rebounds is practically a season high.

Game Stats: 18 Minutes, 0-1, 1 Point, 6 Rebounds, 3 Assists

Celtics 107 Bucks 104: -2

The Celtics were able to overcome Scals -2 for the win.

Game Stats: 6 Minutes, 0-0, 0 Points, 1 Rebound, 1 Assist

Celtics 95 Wizards 109: 0

Does 1 minute count as playing? Not really.

Game Stats: 1 Minute, 0-0, 0 Point, 1 Rebound, 1 Assist

Celtics 102 Bucks 86: -2

The Celtics played the Bucks two too many times over the final weeks. Scals got in but didn't exactly wow anybody.

Game Stats: 7 Minutes, 0-1, 0 Points, 2 Rebounds, 0 Assists

Celtics 99 Hawks 89: DNP

Celtics 99 Knicks 93: 0

Doc celebrated Isiah's final home game by playing Scalabrine almost 20 minutes.

Game Stats: 19 Minutes, 1-2, 2 Points, 2 Rebounds, 0 Assists

Celtics 105 Nets 94: 12

I think Doc just decided that since he wasn't going to play Scals a single minute in the postseason that he would let him play for over half the game in the season finale.

Game Stats: 29 Minutes, 2-7, 7 Points, 6 Rebounds, 3 Assists

Overall Period Performance: +20

With the Celtics haven't clinched the division and home court advantage with many games to play it was time for the bench warmers to get some burn. So Scals actually saw a decent amount of PT over the course of the April. He even played close to 30 minutes in the season finale. Somehow someway despite being on the floor so much without the superstars of the team, Scals put up a massive +20 week which in the long run almost doubled his season total. Ugh.

Weeks Stats: 80 Minutes, 3-12, 10 Points, 16 Rebounds, 8 Assists

Overall Season Performance: +47

I have to admit that come season end I am shocked that when Scalabrine was on the court the Celtics actually had a positive +/- never mind a +/- of 47. It just goes to show you how good the Celtics are this season and what kind of a difference it makes having KG and Ray Ray to go along with Pierce. I'd imagine that everyone on the roster this season had a positive +/-, which would make sense for a 66 win team. We shall continue the Scalabrine Watch during the postseason to see if he actually gets any burn. We certainly hope not.

Season Stats:10:41 MPG, .309 FG%, 1.8 PPG, 1.7 RPG, 0.8 APG

Is Manchester United Star Carlos Teves the Product of Baby Taz and the Hunchback of Notre Dame? Me Thinks So.

In America we cater to one main thing in sports, a champion. We want their to be a single champion for each of our major sports. We want that champion to fight through the regular season and into the postseason. We want that champion to go through the ringer and finish the season raising the trophy above their head as they defeat their final opponent. And this is where European Soccer tradition comes in stark conflict with American beliefs.

Unlike in American sports the biggest trophy in English Soccer is not decided on a single game or a single series but rather the entire regular season. The very idea of the regular season alone without a postseason wouldn't fly in America. Can you imagine taking away the drama of the superbowl? Can you imagine how boring the 2007 NFL season would have been if we had simply handed the Patriots the title which they would have clinched when they went 14-0 or handed the Celtics the title a few weeks ago. It wouldn't work, but that is how it's done in England. But it gets worse.

Currently two teams are vying for the Premiership title, Manchester United and Chelsea with Manchester United currently 3 points up on points (3 points for a win 1 point for a draw). The two teams face off next week at Stamford Bridge the home of Chelsea for what could put Chelsea in a position to tie for 1st place but alas that is not how it works. If Chelsea wins this weekend to tie for 1st they still would need Manchester United to falter in their final two games in order to take home the trophy. Why? Because the English tie-breaking system does not involve actually playing games on the field. Unlike, last year when the Rockies and Padres offered up a thrilling game for who would make the playoffs, the Premiership simply looks at the stats and hands over the title. Thus because Manchester United has a better goal differential this season than Chelsea, if the two finish in a tie at the end of the season, the coveted Premiership trophy will be handed over to the Reds. This shit would not fly in America.

Went with the Spurs vs. the Cs at the start of the season so I'll stick to the picks. I do plan on rooting against the Spurs in every game however.

I always enjoy a good multiple birthday celebration for Hispanic and or Japanese players. It's a time on honored tradition for people to lie about their age. And think about all the sacrifices Miguel Tejada had to go through when he initially lied and told the A's he was 17 and not 19. For one year Tejada could not go to Rated R movies by himself in certain states. For 2 additional years Miguel Tejada could not go to Bars and could not purchase alcohol for himself. That is a lot of sacrificing. Most people lie to get in the bar. Not Miguel, he lied to help keep alcohol away. Isn't that morally responsible? Shouldn't we congratulate Tejada for creating an ingenious approach to keep temptation away?

Happy Birthday to You Miguel. And Happy Birthday again. I hope you got two nice cakes.

Courtesy of AA

Am I heartless? Perhaps. But it's not as if Manny uses nor needs his brain. For once Farnsworth does something to be proud of, he unlike old man Moose actually got Manny out after this.

Everyone needs something to keep them occupied on Friday afternoons so the Friday Video Blowout was born. Spend your next few minutes, laughing, crying of laughter, pissing your self, whatever, but mostly wasting your companies time.

Videos In Order Courtesy of CO-ED Mag, Hardwood Paroxysm, Deadspin, FanIQ, Everybody, AA, Dave's Football Blog


Eh, he needs acting lessons.


Take 2 was much better.


How about Manny getting thrown at? That's a good one.


Woody Paige is not impressed.


Poor McLovin. He got cock blocked.


Ooh Sean Wanted to get Fined. Tough Guy.


He didn't even get ejected. That's great.

I set up two fantasy leagues on NBA.com for the post season. Feel free to join.

Drive to the Finals: Pick a player for each night of the playoffs. You can only use each player once.
League Name: It's Rasho's World

Pick n' Roll: Simply pick the playoff matchup winners in how many games.
League Name: WW Celebratory Binge

Somehow someway it has been accomplished. The dream basketball season. A season started with a few mishaps but leading to a most Epic Championship, thanks solely to one night.

The season started off on the wrong foot. In creating the lightest and least athletic fantasy team in the history of sports, mistakes were made, pre-rankings were botched and with the 1st pick in the first round the White Warriors selected Amare Stoudemire. He was neither White nor unathletic and after another botched pre-ranking effort which lead to the drafting of Quentin Richardson. I immediately looked for trade possibilities and within a few days traded Amare and Q for Pau Gasol and Kyle Korver. After the trade the roster looked like this:

1. (9) Amare Stoudemire PF,C 2. (11) Pau Gasol PF,C 2. (12) Mike Miller SG,SF, 3. (29) Manu Ginobili SG, 4. (32) Kirk Hinrich PG,SG, 5. (49) Mehmet Okur PF,C, 6. (52) Andrei Kirilenko SF,PF, 7. (69) Peja Stojakovic SG,SF, 8. (72) Andris Biedrins C, 9. (89) Chris Kaman C, 10. (92) Luke Walton SF, 11. (109) Luis Scola SF,PF,C, 12. (112) Quentin Richardson SG,SF, 11. (110) Kyle Korver SF, SG 13. (129) Nick Collison PF,C, 14. (132) Robert Swift C, 15. (149) Jason Williams PG

What you're probably thinking when you look at this roster is that they are completely horrible. That I was forced to draft Mike Miller before Chris Paul, Tim Duncan, Paul Pierce, Dwight Howard, etc. And you would be right, that team does look shitty, but there's no other option. After Nash and Nowitzki, who were both gone by my first pick, there is a major drop off. I was stuck picking between Hinrich, Manu and Miller in the 2nd round and ended up getting all three anyway. Throughout the season there were some roster shuffling, mostly to dump dead weight like Luke Walton, Robert Swift and Jason Williams but there were some key pickups. None bigger than the Spaniard Jose Calderon who helped solidify my assists.

Throughout the season I scratched and clawed victories away from my opponents losing points scored basically every week. In the end the Warriors won 17 of their 21 matchups during the regular season, many by 5-4 margins, and finished as the 2nd seed for the playoffs with a bye in the opening round. A week off to relax again go to Cabo with their pop star Russian wives that let them sleep around.

Then came the EPIC post season matchups. Down 5-4 going into the final night of play the White Warriors found themselves down and near dead. But not on Mike Miller's watch. Miller dropped 8 triples that evening and helped the Warriors overcome an 11 3-Pointer Made deficit to advance to the finals. The Warriors won the categories TO, FG%, FT%, 3PM, and REB while losing horribly in BLKs (38-26), Assists (245-122), Steals (77-29) and of course points (800-605).

Now onto the finals, the #1 and #2 seed. The team that had romped everyone during the season versus the team that just got by week to week. Once again going into the final night the White Warriors found themselves down 5-4 with only one category of hope remaining, a category you would never expect them to lose, Free Throw Percentage. Down nearly by nearly .020 percentage points the Warriors needed to step it up on the line. Even their opponent couldn't quite grasp who he wanted to win.

And on that fateful night where the Warriors shot .957 from the stripe, with a little help from opponent Ben Wallace, the Warriors catapulted over the number one seed with a FT% victory (.783-.776) and a championship win of 5-4. At the conclusion the White Warriors won Turnovers, Blocks, Rebounds, FT% and FG% while again getting hammered in the other categories especially points (909-769). But alas in Fantasy Basketball you don't need to score baskets to win. So perhaps when they invent a game where the object is no longer scoring than the White Basketball Player will again rise to the top of the league.


The below players shall be accepting their rings for a championship well earned:

Active Roster
Kirk Hinrich, SG Peja Stojakovic, G Manu Ginobili, SF Kyle Korver, PF Andrei Kirilenko, F Linas Kleiza, C Mehmet Okur, C Rasho Nesterovic, Mike Miller, Jose Calderon, Nick Collison, Andris Biedrins, Luis Scola, Sasha Vujacic, Pau Gasol

Seasonal Contributors
Luke Walton, Jason Williams, Robert Swift, Marco Bellinelli, Joel Pryzbilla, Chris Kaman, Vladimir Radmanovic, Wally Szczerbiak

Thank You And Good Night...

Just when you had come to hope that you would never hear anything about Carl Pavano for the rest of your life you are proven wrong. In fact sometimes its much better to hear delusional people speak. For instance take this conversation taken from an ESPN.com chat session with Baseball America's Jim Callis:

Fred (Farmingdale): Hi Jim, To paraphrase something I heard from Carl Pavano's agent: there will be a demand for Carl Pavano when he is a free agent because he is a 200 innings pitcher and a number 1 or 2 on the staff. Now I know there will be some teams that will give him a chance but would anyone reasonable think that he will a number 1 or 2 starter? Maybe on an independent league team.

Jim: (2:37 PM ET ) Did his agent really say this? Wow.

And Later:

Fred (Farmingdale): Jim, Here is the actual quote in regards to Carl Pavano: Pavano's agent Tom O'Connell -- the fourth agent the right-hander has gone through in his career -- believes that Pavano would still be a desired commodity on the free-agent market this winter, even with his injury history. "Carl's a 1-2 starter," O'Connell said. "Those guys don't grow on trees. Those guys are very rare, 200-inning guys are very rare in this game, and they're the ones that make the money. And he did it two years in a row, before he got hurt, and I'm sure he's going to do it again."

Jim: (2:42 PM ET ) Well, if Tom O'Connell is sure that Pavano will have two good years again, I'm sure teams will fall all over themselves to empty their wallets.

See how funny that was. It was well worth bringing up Carl Pavano again. How his agent could say those words and not want to play russian roulette with 3 bullets is beyond me. Perhaps he enjoys making a fool out of himself or perhaps he smokes crack. It's got to be one or the other. At the very minimum I would suspect he washes his mouth out with soap.

Thanks Goes to TMags Weekly Reading and Man Crush Over Jim Callis and Here's the Original Article

Sorry, but my sandwich was phenomenal. Feel free to wrongly disagree in the comments. And Vote I guess.

You go to the stadium to see your favorite team play with a bunch of your family members, leaving your pregnant wife at home but taking your young children. The game then ends, your team wins and you venture down from the upperdeck only to find that because you are in a shitty old stadium like Shea Stadium the escalator is broken down and not working so you have to walk down the steps. Somehow someway you lose your balance (perhaps due to an intoxicated decision to try to slide down the escalator) and you fall two stories, smash on the concrete and that's the end, you die on your way to the hospital. Perhaps the man was an idiot and tried to slide down the escalator, either way if you're in a professional ball park the god damn escalators should be functional. Maybe if they were functional the guy would have just stepped on the escalator and let it ride him down.

Perhaps I'm in the minority but I've always been afraid of heights, or falling rather. I absolutely hate escalators like this where if you look down you'll notice the ground is a far way away. I despise being close to any edges or cliffs just cause you don't know what could happen. So I'm sure tonight when I'm riding up the fun escalators at Yankee Stadium I'll be as uncomfortable as ever.

The Tigers were all over every station after their first week maladies, but after a 2 game win streak they find themselves only a single game behind the also struggling (but under the radar) Cleveland Indians. Tonight the two face off for the first time of the season and since everyone picked one of the two to win the division lets see who has a bigger cause for concern.

Injuries

Both teams have experience a decent amount of injuries at the start of the season, with the Tigers suffering more. The Indians had Victor Martinez on the shelf for a little bit but it seems that he is back to near 100%. The Tigers sat Gary Sheffield for a bit with a torn finger tendon and now he's currently playing daily with it. The Indians had to put their closer Joe Borowski on the DL early this week while the Tigers have spent the entire season thus far without Joel Zumaya and Fernando Rodney perhaps their best two setup men. Carlos Guillen is currently playing despite a hamstring strain whcih could potentially worsen at any time. The Tigers additionally have played the entire season without their leadoff man Curtis Granderson. Finally, the D-Train somehow hyper-extended his knee and will miss at minimum two starts.

It's obvious that the Tigers have suffered more injuries thus far this season but should we treat this as a cause for concern or as the reasoning for their slow start? Getting Curtis Granderson back will certainly bolster their roster and when they get back Zumaya and Rodney their bullpen will be significantly improved. But to me not having Zumaya for half the season and potentially having lingering debilitating injuries Gary Sheffiled, Carlos Guillen and the D-Train are a big time cause for concern. So the Tigers are worse off in the injury department.

Struggling Superstars

Both teams have gotten reduced production from players that they hoped would carry them this season. For the Indians the biggest cause for concern has been the pitching of defending Cy Young Winner, CC Sabathia. Through three starts this season Sabathia has an ERA of 11.57. That's miserable. The concern with Sabathia lies with his innings build up and post season failures of 2007. There is a reasonable chance that Sabathia simply won't return to his 2007 self because of the overwork he suffered last season. The other big time cause for concern for the Indians has been their bullpen. Both Rafael Betancourt and Rafael Perez who were studs in 2007 have ERAs over 5, I would imagine that both find a way to turn it around this season.

Meanwhile the Tigers struggles have been everywhere. No starter on their roster has an ERA below 4.5 including Verlander who has an ERA above 6. I don't expect Kenny Rogers, Jeremy Bonderman, or Nate Robertson becoming studs but I do expect them to pitch much better than they have. Similarly their hitters should turn it around eventually. Miguel Cabrera, Gary Sheffield, Ivan Rodriguez and Placido Polanco are all hitting under .216 thus far this season. There is no way that this continues.

Really with the exception of the bullpen and CC the Indians haven't performed that poorly, just run into some bad luck and poor timing. Meanwhile the Tigers have sucked for a lot. I'd expect most of the Tigers to significantly improve what they are doing right now and would really be concerned if I was an Indian fan that the 3,000,000 innings they threw Sabathia last year is going to wind up landing him on the DL in 2008.

Conclusion

If you're a fan of either team you have to be concerned, but to me the Indians fans are the ones who should be a bit more antsy. Sabathia would worry me a ton if I was an Indians fan and the fact that they are only a single game ahead of the Tigers despite Detroit playing miserably for two straight weeks. If I was a Tiger fan I'd figure that my hitting was going to come around and that my pitching is going to markedly improve but would certainly have concerns over lingering injuries and the fact they are starting somebody named Armando Gallaragga tonight. Either way both of these teams need to start winning if they want to exit April without being buried in a ditch.

...Give the opposing player a jump kick to the nuts.



Grutt you better watch out for this move next time you try and take a jump shot near the lane.

Talk Show Host: What's on your mind today Typical Caller Guy?

Typical Caller Guy: Willie Randolph does nothing on the bench. He looks like he buys a ticket for the game. They hit into five double plays, and he never hit and run once. Not once.

Talk Show Host: You're going to blame Willie for his players hitting into double plays?

Typical Caller Guy: But he doesn't try. Why is he bringing in Heilman? Why does he take out Oliver Perez in the 5th inning? Why did he leave Johan in the game when he was obviously gassed? He does nothing. And why did he cut Ruben Gotay. Gotay should be their second baseman.

Talk Show Host: He didn't think Gotay could field.

Typical Caller Guy: Well he can field. And he's better than Luis Castillo he's a bum, it's ridiculous that they cut Gotay.

Talk Show Host: Don't you think Willie Randolph, who played second base for solid teams in major league baseball knows when a player can't field?

Typical Caller Guy: No, he's out of touch. Gotay is way better than Castillo.

Talk Show Host: If Gotay is so much better than Castillo why hasn't he found a starting job yet.

Typical Caller Guy: He's buried on the Braves bench, but that's not the point he should have a starting job with the Mets.

Talk Show Host: But Randolph didn't think he could play 2nd.

Typical Caller Guy: He's wrong.

Talk Show Host: Ok, you're smarter than Willie Randolph

Typical Caller Guy: Ya, Randolph is an idiot he's a horrible manager he can't manage at all.

Talk Show Host: Ok. [click]

Last year the postseason was almost single handily ruined by the stiffness of NBA Commissioner David Stern and his insistence on following the NBA rules. Instead of watching the video below and thinking to himself "Well technically they broke the rule, but really they just left the bench, were stopped by their coaching staff and were never in a position to escalate the situation. I should let it go and let them play in the biggest series of the year." Instead of having common sense to adapt the rules in the postseason Stern lived by the book and eliminated all drama in the only thrilling matchup he had.

In stark contrast, Gary Bettman acted quickly in changing the rules. With a two man advantage Ranger Sean Avery, probably the biggest punk in the NHL if not all of sports, decided that he was going to stand in front of Martin Brodeur and wave his hands in his face to try to block his view and generally annoy him. It didn't work on that possession but the following one Avery put away a solid pass to give the Rangers a 1-0 lead. Well, one day later Bettman and his rules committee reacted and said no more. If Avery or anyone else for that matter pulls the same bush league move they will receive a 2-minute minor penalty.

See David, you don't need uniform rules for the entire season and post season. Sometimes common sense can actually be used in bending or changing the rules on the fly for the betterment of the league. It's not that hard.

Sean Avery's Douchery



Nash Hip Check and Bench 'Clearing'

The question of the day is just how drunk do you need to be to whip it out at a playoff hockey game and start urinating on people. Do you need to be 100% blackout drunk in order to do this? Do you need to be intoxicated with a bunch of friends telling you that you won't piss on all the Canadian fans sitting in front of you. Or is the game already in overtime and you just can't spare missing any game, so why not use the Canadian fan as a urinal?

I think you have to be a special brand of human being to be that drunk that you are willing to urinate on fellow human beings while enjoying a playoff hockey game. Lucky for you they probably have a urinal directly in your jail cell.

Courtesy of Barstool Sports

Looking at the 2008 NBA Mock Draft on ESPN.com, there is one consistant theme. Youth and inexperience. Amongst Chad Ford's prediction there is not one single upperclassmen set to go in the lottery. Not one junior nor one senior. Here's the breakdown:

9 Freshman: Michael Beasley, Derrick Rose, OJ Mayo, Jerryd Bayless, Anthony Randolph, Eric Gordon, Blake Griffin, Kevin Love, DeAndre Jordan
4 Sophomores: Brook Lopez, DJ Augistin, Russell Westbrook, Chase Budinger
1 Foreigner: 19 year old Danilo Gallinari

So now the question lies in how important the two year edict of age restricition set by the NBA is. With 9 freshman potentially becoming lottery picks, how much difference could one year in college possibly make? For a player like Derrick Rose, the opportunity to lead a team to a final four appearance gives him invaluable winning experience which should help in the transition to the NBA. But what about some of the other players? OJ Mayo, Jerryd Bayless, and Eric Gordon were all on teams bounced from the first round. What kind of invaluable experience do these players get for taking maybe two semesters of classes and playing a lot of minutes but against inferior talent.

The Age limit may have some benefit but looking at the current draft projections it's obvious that it really isn't doing that much.

Two weeks from now my fraternity is having an alumni golf tournament and in order to play well I think you need to dress well. So I'm going to keep a pulse on the premier fashion statements from the Masters so that I can replicate them in a few weeks in hopes that I play like a golfer who doesn't completely suck. Although I won't be wearing Light Pink or Bright Pink Pants. Check Out the Other Recaps: Thursday, Friday

I know Tiger will only wear Red on sunday but A) Is that shirt red or is it pink? and B) Shouldn't he switch to a comeback color shirt. In all of the majors he has won in his entire career he has been in the lead. Not always the sole leader but always with at least a possession of the lead. That means that never has he made a comeback charge on the weekend. I think it's time for a come back outfit consisting of perhaps something a little less conservative. How about a pair of Red Pants? It still gives you red. But it's different. It's time the greatest golfer of all time makes a god damn charge from behind on a Sunday at a major, instead of missing five foot putts like below.

Two weeks from now my fraternity is having an alumni golf tournament and in order to play well I think you need to dress well. So I'm going to keep a pulse on the premier fashion statements from the Masters so that I can replicate them in a few weeks in hopes that I play like a golfer who doesn't completely suck. Although I won't be wearing Light Pink or Bright Pink Pants. Check Out the Other Recaps: Thursday, Friday

The Winner of the Best Hair Award for the 2008 Masters is Eric Byrnes Brandt Snedeker.

Two weeks from now my fraternity is having an alumni golf tournament and in order to play well I think you need to dress well. So I'm going to keep a pulse on the premier fashion statements from the Masters so that I can replicate them in a few weeks in hopes that I play like a golfer who doesn't completely suck. Although I won't be wearing Light Pink or Bright Pink Pants. Check Out the Other Recaps: Thursday, Friday



Can you guess who was seen on Friday wearing the belt buckle above? I will give you some hints.

1. He's the fakest bad ass on the tour.
2. He played pretty damn well at the Master's last Year
3. Likes to Challenge Tiger Woods but doesn't beat him.
4. Missed the Cut
5. Not from America
6. Likes to piss off Tiger Woods.
7. Won the Par 3 Tourney.
8. Name rhymes with Tory,

Do You Have it Yet?
.
.
.
.
.
.
It's Rory Sabbatini of course.

Why Bobby are you such a complete pussy? You weren't even running hard if you hit the wall it wouldn't have hurt. I just don't understand your fear of a highly padded wall that doesn't even come up to your shoulder.

Two weeks from now my fraternity is having an alumni golf tournament and in order to play well I think you need to dress well. So I'm going to keep a pulse on the premier fashion statements from the Masters so that I can replicate them in a few weeks in hopes that I play like a golfer who doesn't completely suck. Although I won't be wearing Light Pink or Bright Pink Pants. Check Out the Other Recaps: Thursday

Poulter Apparently Only Brought 2 Pair of Pants
Who am I to Talk I Do the Same Thing


He Wears Pastel Pink So You Remember his Name
I Forgot Already, I think He's Thai


Bubba the 1980s Roller Skate Girl
But He Balanced Off the Absurd Pants with the Gator Skin Belt


Baddeley Represents Both the Fairway and the Rough
At This Pace Baddeley Will Be Wearing Spandex Chapps On the Weekend


Adam Scott Enters the Fashion Fold
Hopefully He Keeps Up the Improved Pace


Sergio Tries But Doesn't Pull Off the Green Look
Where Was the Monotonic Green Outfit


SHIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGOOOOOOOO
White Pants White Hat What a Combo


Zach Johnson Was A Day Late on White and Green Day
I Bet Nobody Wanted to Talk to Him With His Green Jacket On


Nothing Fun to Look At Here
Wait? Eric Byrnes Plays Golf?


Weaver Is So Damn High Class
Good Thing He's Guaranteed to Not Come Home with a Paycheck


Tiger Pictured Contemplating What He Would Look Like in Pink Pants
There's Always the Pink Pant Red Shirt Sunday Combo

Two weeks from now my fraternity is having an alumni golf tournament and in order to play well I think you need to dress well. So I'm going to keep a pulse on the premier fashion statements from the Masters so that I can replicate them in a few weeks in hopes that I play like a golfer who doesn't completely suck.

Occasionally when I'm perusing the mall I find myself going into random stores with no intention of buying anything. One of those stores is typically Steve & Barry's, you know the everything under 10 bucks home of the Starbury's. Well they have an assortment of celebrity stylist and one of them just so happens to be Bubba Watson. I wonder if you can get these wonderful pants at the Steve & Barry's by you.

Everyone needs something to keep them occupied on Friday afternoons so the Friday Video Blowout was born. Spend your next few minutes, laughing, crying of laughter, pissing your self, whatever, but mostly wasting your companies time.

Videos In Order Courtesy of Everybody, The Offside, Rugby Dump, CO-ED, Campus Clicks, The Footy Wrap, Big League Stew


BEEEEELLLLICHIIIICK.


In your face Charlie Murphy.


Maybe all French men aren't pansies.


http://view.break.com/484020 - Watch more free videos
Ouch.


15 minutes of fame is fun.


Hmm, were they or were they not competetive?


Calm down Ozzie, it's ok.

Two weeks from now my fraternity is having an alumni golf tournament and in order to play well I think you need to dress well. So I'm going to keep a pulse on the premier fashion statements from the Masters so that I can replicate them in a few weeks in hopes that I play like a golfer who doesn't completely suck. Although I won't be wearing Light Pink or Bright Pink Pants. Check Out the Other Recaps: Friday, Death Buckle

Green Pants Were King
Luke Thinks They Will Look Great with a Green Jacket


Apparently They Shop at the Same Store
Nick Dougherty & Luke Donald Always Seemed Like They May Be Brit Lovers.


Casey Pulls the Flip-Flopper
He Prefers the 69 Position


Baddeley Only Wears Citrus Colors
He's From Down Under, He Has to Be the Odd Ball


Is It Green Or Yellow? Who Knows?
Poulter Just Wants to Keep You Guessing.


Tanuguchi Would Like to Round Out The Christmas Color Scheme
The Red Pants Were Too Expensive for Toru to Afford a Belt Buckle


Shouldn't Curtis Be Wearing Falcons Gear, He Is In Georgia
The NFL Should Be Able to Give a Sponsorship to a Better Player


One Step Away From Thursday's Best Outfit Award
Why Did You Have the Buck the Colored Pants Trend Shingo? The Title was Yours.


Tiger Missed Out On Colored Pants Day
Thought It Was Ugly Pink Striped Shirt Day

Two weeks from now my fraternity is having an alumni golf tournament and in order to play well I think you need to dress well. So I'm going to keep a pulse on the premier fashion statements from the Masters so that I can replicate them in a few weeks in hopes that I play like a golfer who doesn't completely suck.

¿Quién es Más Macho, Ian Poulter o de su Hijo?

How? By saving the Olympic Torch from On-Coming Protesters. My High Score is 115 than those damn protesters get crazy.


Tip from AA

The season is over, so it's time to review just how dumb I was in the fall with my predictions...

Conferences I Don't Care About Winners

America East: Vermont, Actual Champ: MABC
Atlantic Sun: Belmont, Got 'Em
Big Sky: Montana, Actual Champ: Porland St.
Big South: Coastal Carolina, Actual Champ: Winthrop
Big West: Pacific, Actual Champ: CS Fullerton
Colonial:UNC Wilmington, Actual Champ: George Mason
Horizon: Butler, Got 'Em
Ivy League: Penn, Actual Champ: Cornell
Metro Atlantic: Marist, Actual Champ: Siena
Mid-American: Akron, Actual Champ: Kent St.
Mid-Eastern: Coppin St., Got 'Em
Missouri Valley: Southern Illinois, Actual Champ: Drake
Mountain West: UNLV, Actual Champ: Got 'Em
Northeast: CCSU, Actual Champ: Mt. St. Mary's
Ohio Valley: Samford, Actual Champ: Austin Peay
Patriot League: Holy Cross, Actual Champ: American
Southern: Davidson, Got 'Em
Southland: Stephen F. Austin, Actual Champ: Texas Arlington
Southwestern: Southern, Actual Champ: Mississippi Valley St.
Summit: IUPUI, Actual Champ: Oral Roberts
Sun Belt: Louisiana Lafayette, Actual Champ: Western Kentucky
West Coast: Gonzaga, Actual Champ: San Diego
WAC: Utah St., Actual Champ: Boise St.

Overall Mid-Major/Small Conference Predictions: 5-18, Yes Shitty but who cares.

Important Conference Winners

Technically the winner in each of these conferences are their respective tournament victors. However this is meant to be a pick of whom will win the regular season as the Tourny is more of a crapshoot than a full seasons worth of conference games.

ACC Winner: North Carolina, Got 'Em

Atlantic 10 Winner: Xavier, Got 'Em

Big East Winner: Georgetown, Got 'Em

Big 10 Winner: Indiana, Actual Champ: Wisconsin. Getting your coach fired midseason doesn't help much.

Big 12 Winner: Kansas,Got 'Em

Conference USA Winner: Memphis, Got 'Em

Pac 10 Winner: UCLA, Got 'Em

SEC Winner: Arkansas, Actual Champ: Tennessee. Arkansas was atleast close.

Overall Important Conference Predictions: 6-2, I got most of the regular season winners right which in tune were half of the tournament winners as well.

First Team All-America

G Brandon Rush - Actual All American Team: 3rd team
G OJ Mayo - Actual All American Team: Didn't Make One
F Chase Budinger - Actual All American Team: Didn't Make One
F Tyler Hansbrough - Got 'Em
C Roy Hibbert - Actual All American Team: 2nd team

Actual First Team: Luke Harongody, Chris Douglas-Roberts, DJ Augustin, Hansbrough and Michael Beasley.

1 for 5. That's great, ha.

Seasonal Awards

Freshman of the Year: OJ Mayo, Actual Champ: Michael Beasley

Player of the Year: Tyler Hansbrough, Got 'Em

Coach on the Hotseat: Coach K, Actual Champ: A Lot of Fired Coaches

Coach of the Year: John Pelphrey, Actual Champ: Bruce Pearl and his playbook.

Sleeper Squad to Make Tourny: Penn St., They sucked...

Again 1 for. Hansbrough pretty much was my only saving grace here.

Final Four

Kansas - Got'em
Memphis - Got 'Em.
North Carolina - Got 'Em.
Georgetown - Didn't end up picking them opted for Kansas instead.

National Champion: Memphis Tigers

So god damn close.

Overall the top picks were on the money, but the majority of the selections were piss poor at best.

Go Vote for the Fanhouse for Who Sucks More. I'm a 15 seed and I expect to lose at the buzzer because I let someone go the length of the court.

The Celtics won last night in OT despite not playing the Big 3 during the extra session. They were helped out by some big time defense and a clutch shot from Eddie House who was struggling at this point. With 1:29 left House hit his first shot of the game, having gone 0-6 in regulation, to give the Celtics the lead. This bucket apparently should be taken as a life lesson for children according to the Doc:

“That’s a great lesson for all kids,” Rivers said. “If you’re a shooter, you’re a shooter. You can miss 20 in a row, but if you’re open you shoot again. Eddie is a great shooter because he’s thinking the chances are greater that it’s going in.” Yahoo

So Children, no matter what level of basketball you are at, effectively you should have no conscious. If you are a 'shooter' just keep on throwing up bricks if you don't have the touch on a given day. One of them might drop, and if they don't there's always the next shot, or the next shot, or the next one. Regardless just keep on firing them up if you're open, who cares about what your teammates may end up thinking.

The greatest golf tournament on the planet starts tomorrow and you should be watching all day from 4-7 when it's on ESPN (what lengthy coverage). Here's a quick rankings of the best pairings the Masters has to offer and when they will be teeing off on Thursday.

1. 10:45 a.m. T. Woods A. Cabrera S. Appleby - They could put Tiger with two amateurs and he'd still be the show. Put him with two solid players and their the #1 group to watch.

2. 10:23 a.m. Z. Johnson L. Donald G. Ogilvy - The defending champ plus two serious title contenders makes this pairing a phenomenal watch.

3. 1:52 p.m. E. Els S. Katayama J. Furyk - People may think watching past major winners Furyk and Els would be the reason to watch this group. Rather the true reason is to see Shingo's hat.

4. 1:19 p.m. A. Scott P. Casey R. Goosen - Retief as I mentioned earlier has finished top three the past three years. Casey has two top ten finishes while Scott is an excellent player who has yet to have a great Master's showing.

5. 1:41 p.m. P. Mickelson A. Romero K. Choi - If not just to see if Phil has increased the size of his man boobs.

6. 2:03 p.m. A. Baddeley C. Villegas L. Westwood - Three very good foreign golfers, plus Villegas is an entertaining player to watch.

7. 10:34 a.m. M. Weir P. Harrington J. Singh - Paddy could be in serious contention come the final day and Weir always plays well at the Masters.

8. 1:08 p.m. B. Watson S. Garcia M. Calcavecchia - Will Sergio bust out an all white outfit or a different monotone color scheme at any point this weekend?

9. 10:12 a.m. J. Olazabal W. Liang R. Sabbatini - If only so you can heckle Sabbatini, or cheer him in hopes that he pairs with Woods at some point.

10. 12:46 p.m. R. Floyd D. Weaver J. Byrd - Chances are the VaTech amateur Weaver will only be around on thursday and friday so he should get some cheers while he's still on the course.

11. 8:44 a.m. G. Player M. Jimenez D. Trahan - With Jack and Arnie no longer in the field, Player gives us that last epic golfer from the past.

12. 10:56 a.m. J. Rose H. Stenson T. Taniguchi - If you don't want to cheer for an American and would like country diversity this is the perfect group to watch. A Brit, Swede and a Jap.

13. 12:57 p.m. B. Langer P. Marksaeng W. Austin - With Woody Austin there is always the possibility of a smashed putter or flip out.

14. 1:30 p.m. V. Singh S. Stricker S. Cink - I'm not much of Vijay guy.

15. 8:22 a.m. M. O'Meara T. Kuehne I. Poulter - This group ranks this high solely for the hope that Poulter wears more ridiculous clothing or has some ridiculous hair.

16. 12:24 p.m. T. Watson B. Snedeker J. Senden - Tom Watson hasn't made a cut in five years. Let's see if the old man can get it done this weekend.

17. 11:40 a.m. B. Weekley T. Immelman S. O'Hair - If only so you can ironically jeer Boo Weekley in a low pitched voice.

18. 8:55 a.m. J. Leonard C. Howell III N. Watney - Leonard has had a phenomenal year thus far.

19. 9:39 a.m. F. Couples J. Kelly A. Hansen - Some people love cheering for Freddy but I'd rather tune in elsewhere.

20. 9:06 a.m. S. Verplank R. Allenby M. Campbell - Two solid golfers and one of those fluke major winners that gets to stick around despite being worse than everybody but the old timers and amateurs.

21. 12:35 p.m. T. Clark D. Toms N. Fasth - Tim Clark will make you feel better about your physique.

22. 8:33 a.m. L. Mize P. Lonard H. Mahan - They really loaded up on those exciting early pairings...

23. 8:11 a.m. F. Zoeller B. Wetterich H. Slocum - Perhaps Fuzzy will say something controversial during an interview.

24. 11:18 a.m. C. Stadler J. Wagner S. Flesch - The Walrus is cool in mostly name only.

25. 9:50 a.m. V. Taylor M. Kaymer A. Oberholser - Kaymer is the lowest ranked player in ESPNs Best Ball rankings this week. I selected him. Let's see if he makes the cut.

26. 9:17 a.m. B. Crenshaw M. Thompson N. O'Hern - Ben seems like a nice guy, just not exactly a classic must see golfer.

27. 12:02 p.m. S. Hansen D. Chopra R. Sterne - If Norsemen is your thing than you have a Swede and Norwegian to cheer for here.

28. 11:29 a.m. I. Woosnam R. Green S. Ames - I can't say this group offers too much excitement.

29. 11:51 a.m. S. Lyle J. Rollins J. Holmes - Jimmy Rollins plays golf?

30. 9:28 a.m. S. Lowery R. Karlsson N. Dougherty - Not exactly household names.

31. 8:00 a.m. B. Curtis S. Micheel - Well that's a great opening pair...

32. 11:07 a.m. T. Hamilton B. Bateman - They might play in front of crickets.

MY MASTERS PREDICTIONS

Is Rich Harden the Product of Balsa Wood and a Crying Little Girl? Me Thinks So. Perhaps him and Mike Hampton are actually twins.

By far my favorite golf tourny of the year. The course is cool, the tradition is phenomenal, I love the quirky way they decide the field and the best players in the World always contend and more often than not you will get a Tiger, VJ, or Phil taking it home instead of a Justin Leonard, Rich Beem, Todd Hamilton, type. Which is much more entertaining.

4 People to Watch to Contend

Obvious - Retief Goosen - Retief has finished the past three Masters in 3rd, 3rd, and 2nd place. Talk about being close but just not quite. Is this the year Retief gets over the hump and gets to wear a Green Jacket? Probably not. But will he finish top 5 again? His chances are better than just about anybody else's.

Secondary - Geoff Ogilvy - Ogilvy got off to a miserable start of the season but over the past few weeks he's been on fire. In two appearances he's yet to have a breakthrough top ten performance. This year should be the year he makes an impact on the final day.

The Relatively Unknown - Paul Casey - The Brit who kind of flies under the radar in comparison to the likes of Luke Donald and Justin Rose and others has had some solid appearances at the Masters. In three trips Casey has two top ten finishes with his best finish being 6th last year.

Darkhorse - Shingo Katayama - The Japanese guy with the funny hat. He's always fun to watch at the Master's and in his career he's never missed a cut there. Thus, eventually you would think there could be a breakthrough into contention. So here's hoping the funny hat Japanese man is on TV on sunday.

3 People Who Might Surpisingly Miss the Cut

The Old - Fred Couples - Eventually Old Grey Fred is going to miss a Master's cut. He's been automatic for decades now and seems to play better at the Master's than he does at any other tournament in the world. But you have to figure eventually there will be a cutoff. Eventually he will miss a cut. Perhaps this is the year.

The Goofy Swinger - Jim Furyk -There's just something about Furyk that I don't like. I know he's a big time golfer and finishes near the top five just about every year but there's just something not right there for me. He'll probably end up in the top ten, but I kind of hope he doesn't make the cut.

One Asian Failure to Counter the Surprise - K.J. Choi - A Ton of people love K.J. Choi's chances at being in contention for this years Master's. And chances are he will. But it's so god damn difficult to predict shocking guys that will get cut that really you just have to go out on a limb. And I wanted an Asian guy to counter the Shingo dark horse pick and K.J. is the most prevalent.

2 People to Root For this Weekend

The Great Story - Drew Weaver - Playing for his lost classmates at VaTech, Drew Weaver flew to Britain to play for the first time on links course and somehow took home the British Amateur. Thus with the Amateur victory he gets to honor his fellow classmates by playing at Augusta National. If you can't root for this kid this weekend than chances are you have some serious mental health issues and should see a psychiatrist to work through whatever issues you may have.

The Old Guys - Gary, Watson, the Walrus and others - This is what makes the Master's so great. The best players in the world typically win the Master's at least once and they come back every year to tee it up with the current best in the world. None of these guys have any chance to win, but imagine if Player made the cut I think that would be cool enough. Unfortunately the coolness is a bit less this year without Arnie, Jack or Seve playing.

1 Winner

Tigger Woo - I'm really going out on a limb on this one. Fact Tiger has been almost unstoppable since the start of the 2nd half of last season. Fact Tigger is dominant at Augusta. Fact this season has the potential to go down as Tiger's best ever, he is playing that good now. And he is going to throw on yet another green jacket. I'd take Tiger over the field this week.

I make predictions. Mostly for fun, but I shall be made accountable for all my predictions and thus why I have these reviews. Even in instances where I name the post Completely Useless NHL Season Predictions. So let's breakdown just how useless these picks were.

Western Conference Playoff Rankings

1. Detroit Redwings - Central Winners Actual Retail Price - 1. Ya got this completely right. In your face hockey experts.
2. Mighty Ducks - Pacific Winners - Actual Retail Price - 4. So two spots off. Big F'n deal.
3. Calgary Flames - Northwest Winners - Actual Retail Price - 7. A couple of seeds off again. But whatever in the playoffs.
4. San Jose Sharks - Actual Retail Price - 2 & Pacific Winner. Close but not quite.
5. Minnesota Wild - Actual Retail Price - 3 & Northwest Winner. Again close but not quite.
6. Dallas Stars - Actual Retail Price - 5. One Seed off. So close.
7. Nashville Predators - Actual Retail Price - 8. One Seed off again. Boo.
8. Colorado Avalanche - Actual Retail Price - 6. Two seeds off, big deal.

So if you can count up to 8, which may be questionable for some of the readers at this site, I nailed all of the Western conference playoff teams. 8 for 8. The seeding is off of course, but that's really not a big deal. Seeding is such a crapshoot in hockey playoffs anyway.

Eastern Conference Playoff Rankings

1. Ottawa Senators - Northeast Winners - Actual Retail Price - 7. Whoops not very close on that one.
2. Hartford Whalers - Southeast Winners - Actual Retail Price - Uh no playoffs. Whatever if Florida didn't pee on their snowman they would have won the division and been the 3 seed. So it was close.
3. New York Rangers - Atlantic Winners - Actual Retail Price - 5. Not bad only 2 seeds off.
4. Pittsburgh Penguins - Actual Retail Price - 2 & Atlantic Winners. Again only 2 seeds off.
5. New Jersey Devils - Actual Retail Price - 4. So close.
6. Buffalo Sabres - Actual Retail Price - Your Local Frosted Buffalo Golf Course. They finished 10th so no playoffs for them.
7. Philadelphia Flyers - Actual Retail Price - 6. One seed away again.
8. Boston Bruins - Actual Retail Price - 8. Wooooo. Nailed them Bruins down.

Epic Failures...
Montreal Canadians - No playoffs predicted. They are the #1 seed in the East.
Washington Capitals - No playoffs predicted. They are the #3 seed in the East.

So that's two division winners I picked to not make the playoffs. Way to go on those sweet picks. But 6 of the 8 playoff teams isn't disgraceful.

Overview

For someone that watches approximately 5 regular season hockey games a year, and that might be pushing it I think my predictions were pretty pimp. I mean they're better than sports I actually watch on a consistant basis. So that's probably pathetic. Overall I predicted 14 of the 16 playoff teams. And I nailed two teams, the Red Wings with the best record in the league (went out on a limb there) and the Bruins with the 8th seed in the East. See how big of a fan I am of the Bruins, I knew exactly what kind of team they would be this season. Anyway, let's start the epically long playoffs and see if those picks can actually be proven right as well. I bet the pick of the Whalers losing in the Eastern Conference finals will be wrong.

When you watch Derrick Rose you hear lofty praise and comparisons to some of the elite guards in the NBA, starting with Jason Kidd and continuing to the likes of Dewayne Wade all the way to extremes like a smaller Lebron James. To me, I see Stephon Marbury and thus far I have yet to hear anybody else say that. Perhaps because Stephon is currently amongst the laughing stocks of the league, but to me the similarities are startling.

Let's rewind time a little bit, to the point where Stephon was not traded several times and not having sex with interns in his car. In High School Stephon was a New York hero. He lead his Lincoln High School squad to a City Title at MSG. Like Stephon, Rose comes from a major metropolitan area and lead his Chicago public school to two championship. Both coming from High School were top 5 prospects, both were the top point guards in their class, both were McDonald's All Americans and both were perceived as potential one and done college players.

After High School, both players veered away from going to the prototypical powerhouse school. Stephon chose to follow Travis Best as the point guard for the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, a solid but not spectacular ACC school. Rose chose to go to Memphis, a non-BCS school with a solid recent history but still not necessarily a national powerhouse. Both players excelled during their freshman season. Stephon averaged 18.9 points, 4.5 assists, 3.1 rebounds and 1.75 steals his freshman year and was named third team all american. Rose averaged 14.9 points, 4.7 assists, 4.5 rebounds and 1.2 steals per game and was named a third team all american. Rose helped lead his team to the Final Four, unlike Marbury, but the squad he played for had a 1st team all american in Douglas-Roberts and several pieces that were just short of making previous final fours. Simply put he was on a better team in college than Marbury.

Now all points suggest that Derrick Rose will make a similar decision as Steph did in 1996 by foregoing his college eligibility and declaring for the NBA draft. Steph went with the 4th pick of the draft following AI who was a stud for two season with G-Town, Camby who just strapped UMass on his back in dragging them to the final four and Shareef Abdur Rahim who was also a dominant freshman in winning the Pac-10 player of the year. For Rose he doesn't have that kind of talent or experience surrounding him in the draft and will likely go within the first two picks along with Michael Beasely.

So let us attempt to remind ourselves of the time when Stephon was not a joke. When Stephon jumped into the league with the Minnesota Timberwolves he made an immediate impact. Along with KG he helped lead the Minnesota Timberwolves to back to back postseason for the first two times in franchise history. He averaged near 16 points and 8 assists in his rookie year and near 18 and 9 his sophomore year. He was positioning himself to be one of the best point guards in the league. And then idiocy happened and he decided it was more important to play near home than with KG. His numbers continued to hover above 20 and 8 for several years but the winning came to a halt. Really who knows what could/would have happened to 'Starbury' had he stayed in Minnesota, but we will never know.

Let's all hope for the sake of Derrick Rose that the comparisons end with Steph's second season. That he makes a significant impact in the NBA his opening years but does not choose to foolishly demand a trade to the Bulls. Let's hope talent dominates Derrick Rose's future, rather than the pour decision making which has dominated Stephon's past.

JJ Henry's All Stars Group is ready for you to join.

Relaxation and calm aren't necessarily traits I excel at during the final minutes of watching sporting events. Meanwhile, bitterness and negativity are two traits which can easily move to the forefront of my state of mind. And this is what gambling brings out in me, a load of bitterness and negativity towards people I will never meet personally. And thus why I typically avoid it.

But I never miss out on the NCAA tournament, because its 'fun'. And with 2 minutes and change left on the clock I thought it was going to be better than fun. I thought I was going to win 2 bills. And yet, of course I couldn't be positive about it because Memphis decided to choke it all away. A dumb dumb inbounds pass turned three. A questionable foul on Dorsey, which probably deserved to get called because it was so stupid. A boatload of missed free throws and a last second canned three.

And then the good feelings I have towards the Memphis players and the excitement I had over the possibility of winning turn to anger. What the hell is wrong with you. Why the hell do you guys suck so much? How the hell are you going to miss these free throws you pussy? Get your heads out of your ass you're still playing in overtime. Nice defense you stupid pieces of shit. Hey, Derek Rose you realize your the best god damn player on the court, why don't you act like it? What do those scriptures on your arm say CDR, let's miss big free throws? Hey Anderson throw up another stupid three.

And today, I'm still incredibly annoyed at Memphis, a team I have no connection to at all, and will probably be annoyed at them for a while. Who knows how long it will linger. Maybe I will drop it tomorrow. Maybe the next time Derrick Rose or CDR has a big time free throw attempt in the clutch I will hope they choke again. Maybe I will continue to hope that Calipari's stupidity will get the best of him in future tournaments... This is why I don't gamble.

Here's a little picture fun from the Final 4.

UCLA vs. Memphis

1. He probably doomed himself when he didn't leave enough room on his shoe to include Championship Game.
2. It appears as if Love was way more excited to make the Sweet 16 than he was either the Elite 8 or the Final Four.
3. Unfortunately for Love putting marker on your shoe does not improve either athletic ability or stamina.

1. "Oh my god I think a meteor is going to hit me."
2. No, No, Not the flying ball. I once got hit in the face with sweaty balls. It was horrifying."
3. "I think I see death flying in the rafters."








1. Lorenzo Mata-Real now with 50% less playing time, 100% more last name, and consistent ugly.
2. "I liked losing in the Final Four better the last two seasons when I was only questionably the ugliest person on the court with Joakim Noah next to me."
3. "Well... at least there are no mirrors in my locker."



1. "Coach said I couldn't have 2 cookies. I don't get it, I'm not fat. I'm just big boned."
2. "I don't like it when teams run up and down the court. I get tired."
3. "Coach Howland said that I was the missing link for a National Championship. I think he lied to me."







1. If you plan on stopping Derrick Rose from getting to the basket, best put on your superman cape.
2. And the basketball hopes of New York rests on the chance of ping pong balls and the hope of Derrick Rose.
3. He actually misses this shot...





1. "Yo weze about to have a party on the River Walk. All ladies be invited."
2. CDR and AA be straight up ballin this tourney.
3. The scriptures tell us, thou shalt make thy free throws in the final four.









UNC vs. Kansas

1. "Why won't he call a foul yet? I'm Tyler Hansbrough I hustle on every play, I don't take plays off. Call a foul."
2. "Nobody every told me that Kansas had two bigger white guys than me. That's just not right."
3. "I am so going to miss this tip in right now."






1. "Why did my wife pick out this stupid looking tie?"
2. With Tyler on the bench Roy gets very uptight.
3. "Wouldn't it be funny if Kansas beats me and then wins the title? That would be hilarious."









1. He would just like to point out the massive dump he just took on Hansbrough's chest.
2. "I am the best Sasha on the planet. All other Sasha's must bow down before me. That includes both Sacha Baron Cohen and Sasha Cohen"
3. ROCK, CHALK, JAAAAAYYYYYYY-uh-uh-uh-HAAAAWWKKKKK."







1. Brandon Rush's best impression of the Reach Around pass.
2. Hansbrough once again attempts to block flying balls with his ass.
3. Hey Tyler the ball is actually by your knees and not your head. Just thought that may help your defensive positioning.









1. "I hope Dickie V still wants to give me a blow job."
2. "Well, I'm still getting my jersey retired once I call it a career, so I guess who really cares."
3. "Can we just discount the first half? I'm Tyler Hansbrough and I command it so... Shit, why didn't that work?"








1. "Coach why didn't you play me? I was so ready today. I even manage to tie my shoes all by myself."
2. "Give me a hug coach, my ass hurts from all of the bench warming I've been assigned to do this season."
3. "Coach I still get a Final Four ring despite never contributing to the team right?"

Every year it comes down to one day and one matchup for all the marbles. In every pool in American tonights game will decide the winner of the cash. For me, with a Memphis victory I shall take home around $200 bones, which is a nice bonus for a weekend trip to Fenway. But for 2 people there's much more riding on tonights game. A chance at 10 grand is at stake for two people all on the basis of filling out a free bracket for the fun of it. If Kansas wins then the current leader InsanePIV shall be given a nice 10,000 check from ESPN. If Memphis wins than Fantavet currently tied for fifth place will leap over the rest of the competition and take home 10,000 gs. Talk about a rooting interest. So what would you do if put in this situation? Would you go out and buy as much KU or Memphis apparel as possible and deck yourself out for the game? Would you get so nervous that you refuse to watch? Would you just watch the game like any other? Would you get so damn excited at the prospect of money that you would just go out and by yourself a new Hi-Def tv? Or would you just go the safe route and put a 5K Hedge Bet on the team you have losing and thus guaranteeing yourself around 5K of winnings?

Opinion Polls & Market Research

There's many important finals this week but one may stand out above the rest. There's the Men's National Championship game tonight. There's the Women's National Championship game tomorrow. There's the final round of the Master's on Sunday. But none of those finals compare to the epic quest of an unparalleled accomplishment. The quest to win a Fantasy Basketball League on solely White Players.

Down 5-4 going into Yesterday's matchups the White Warriors run looked to have reached a conclusion, but not on Mike Miller's watch. He wasn't going to let his race down. He was going to power the team through to the finals by knocking down 8 triples against the Minnesota Timberwolves. Those 8 threes gave the White Warriors an improbable category comeback and lofted them into the title game. A title for the hopes of the suburban white kid who still thinks while shooting in his driveway that he has a chance to play in the NBA. If an all white fantasy team can get it done on the basis of FT%, FG%, Rebounds, 3PM and Turnovers than son you too can prosper in the NBA one day.


One more week until history is made...

Was my bracket completely lame? Absolutely. Did my bracket completely suck massive dong the first weekend? Absolutely. Did I get the elite 8 team wrong from the bottom of every bracket? Absolutely. If Memphis wins tonight will I win my pool? Absolutely. And it's all predicated on predictions I made in early November. The ole phrase even a blind squirrel finds nuts applies.

So ya, Go Memphis.

So I spent the last few minutes searching for info on Memphis F/C Shawn Taggart and stumbled across this little article from the Iowa St. paper. Anyway the author makes the case that that when Taggart transferred from Iowa St. it was addition by subtraction.

Anyway, I just found that quite humurous. I guess Iowa St. does not need near 7 foot athletes who can shoot .360% from three and be a solid contributor to a final 4 team. Why would they need that with their 14-18 record?

Is Mike Hampton the product of Balsa Wood and a Crying Little Girl? Me Thinks So.

Apparently there's other Scalabrine Haterade out there. [Dirty Gingers]

"I would never let a white boy beat me. I couldn't go back to the projects if I let a white boy beat me." Bernard Hopkins via Fanhouse This is what Bernard Hopkins said in regards to his fight with Welshman Joe Calzaghe on April 19th. Seems a little controversial to me but we shall give the man an opportunity to explain. So this week Hopkins got the opportunity to clarify his previous statements. What he basically ended up saying is he's not a racist but losing to a white fighter would be unacceptable. So, pretty much he clarified nothing. Flip the switch, if one of the Klitschko brothers said he ain't never gonna lose to a black fighter cause his Russian comrades would find it unacceptable. Wouldn't that be perceived as racist? So isn't this?

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Everyone needs something to keep them occupied on Friday afternoons so the Friday Video Blowout was born. Spend your next few minutes, laughing, crying of laughter, pissing your self, whatever, but mostly wasting your companies time.

Videos In Order Courtesy of Fanhouse, Someone, AA, MJD, With Leather, The Sporting Blog, With Leather #2


Is that a Delay of Game Penalty?

Umm Wow, Asians are really really messed up.


This is quite unreal.


Woo Women's video games, that's a must have.


Lebron does it in a jump shooting motion you pussy.


She should work on her counting skills.


I don't think Obama could pull that off.

Probably going to be a slow day today...

So this is just for fun, mostly cause I don't feel like buying something and sending anybody something but we shall now hold a competition on given over/unders I will create myself. Post Your Answers in the comments and come seasons end we shall declare whom was the most intelligent of us ass clowns. I shall post my answers in the comments as well.

1. The Giants will score 575 runs this season. Over/Under

2. Eric Gagne will blow 8 saves this season. Over/Under

3. Mike Mussina's ERA will be 5.00. Over/Under

4. Ben Sheets will end up on the DL on July 11th. Over/Under

5. Ryan Howard will strike out 180 times. Over/Under

6. Barry Bonds will be on a roster on June 20th. Over/Under

7. The Devil Rays will win 17 games combined against the Yankees and Red Sox. Over/Under

8. Joba Chamberlain will hit Kevin Youkilis this season 1/2 times. Over/Under

9. Erik Bedard will win 19 games. Over/Under

10. The Orioles season attendance total will be 2 million. Over/Under

11. The AL East will be clinched by the completion of the games on September 25th. Over/Under

*For the dates if it doesn't happen at all than it qualifies as an over. Dates after are considered over.

There's inclement weather approaching and you have a young studly pitcher set to take the mound. What to do? Do you put him on the hill and hope that the weather subsides? Or do you decide to have him wait a day and throw out your long reliever to start the game? Or do you somehow do both? Well if you were either Bruce Boche or Joe Torre last night you somehow made the baffling decision of choosing both.

With the rain in the near forecast, Joe Torre made the first act, deciding to start Hong Chih Kuo, king of the bat toss, rather than Chad Billingsley. Not to be outdone Bruce Boche right before the opening pitched decided, hey why should I pitch my young stud if they're not going to pitch theirs, so he decided to start Merkin Valdez rather than Tim Lincecum. So then it started relievers throwing the start of the game, getting pinch hit for and replaced. This lasted 3 1/2 scoreless innings. Then someone hit Bruce Boche with a bottle, or atleast that's the only thing that makes sense. Why, because he brought out Tim Lincecum to start the 4th inning. Perhaps this would make sense if the weather cleared up, but rather it was actually raining now. Lincecum proceeded to give up a run during the first inning of work to break the tie.

Not to be outdone in the realm of stupid, Joe Torre decided to warm up his starter Chad Billingsley, again during the hardest part of the rain, and brought him out at the start of the 5th inning. Billingsley gave up two hits while recording an out before, guess what, a rain delay. The rain delay lasted an hour and 15 minutes and when they came back out for the start of the game guess who wasn't on the mound anymore. That's right Chad Billingsley. He was replaced by Esteban Loiaza who proceeded to lose give up another run and lose the game.

Lincecum unlike Billingsley actually came back to the mound and threw 3 more innings following the rain day. Lincecum finished with 4 innings thrown and managed to get the win thanks to Esteban. Either way it was an incredibly baffling display of managing by these two.

So here are the breakdowns of the bracket from yesterday. As you may have expected it was just as chalky as my original bracket. Yay.

West Regional


East Regional


South Regional


Midwest Regional

Every year when the bracket is complete there seems to only be about 5 teams thazt actually play in there region. Then with the new system opening week games for the 'East' somehow could end up being played in California or Colorado. All in all it seems like a lot of efforting to simply make the tournament seeded appropriately. So my question is is it truly worth it? Is all this maneuvering and reorganizing of seeds and where opening games are played worth it? What would the bracket have looked like if they had truly organized teams within their region, rather than by the so called 'snake' ranking system.

So let me just quickly run through how the regions were organized. I ran through and grouped all schools first by there state location. This way I could pool all teams from a given state in a given region. Next I organized the states into their associated region as closely as possible. For instance Connecticut in the East, California in the West, etc. The following are the state breakdowns per region:

West: California (6), Oregon (2), Washington (2), Oklahoma (2), Arizona (1), Idaho (1), Nevada (1), Utah (1)

East: Pennsylvania (4), Maryland (3), North Carolina (3), DC (2), New York (2), Connecticut (1), Virginia (1)

Midwest: Indiana (4), Kentucky (3), Wisconsin (2), Ohio (2), Kansas (2), West Virginia (1), Iowa (1), Michigan (1)

South: Tennessee (5), Texas (4), South Carolina (2), Mississippi (2), Florida (1), Georgia (1), Arkansas (1), Alabama (1)

For the most part the brackets align quite smoothly when organized in this fashion. The only exception being the West didn't have an abundance of teams and thus Oklahoma. more of a Midwestern state, was lumped in the West. The South has 17 teams and thus was assigned the play-in game. So let's do a quick breakdown of the regions to see just how much worse if at all the matchups would be.

West Regional

The West region lacks depth. The majority of the reason is that only one BCS conference truly sits in the West while other regions can lay claim to several schools from a multitude of BCS conferences. Thus when the rankings are complete the Pac 10 holds over the top 4 seeds followed by the the 'West' school of Oklahoma. The last portion of the regional includes the typical assortment of 16, 15, and 14 seeds.

Games in Anaheim, CA
1. UCLA vs. 16. Portland State
8. UNLV vs. 9. Oregon
5. Oklahoma vs. 12. San Diego
4. USC vs. 13. Oral Roberts

Games in Denver, CO
6. Gonzaga vs. 11. Arizona
3. Washington State vs. 14. Boise State
7. BYU vs. 10. St. Mary's
2. Stanford vs. 15. Cal State Fullerton

East Regional

For all the talk of the East being the mecha of basketball this region is a little underwhelming. Sure it's strong at the top with UNC, G-Town, Duke,, Pitt and UConn, but then there is a major drop off. Cinderella Davidson would have wound up a 6 seed, which certainly would have dulled the story some. After that you have basically Philadelphia and then the bottom of the regional consists of a whole lot of very very bad teams. The East would make an interesting bracket after the 1st day but most likely the first day would be incredibly boring.

Games in Raleigh, NC
1. North Carolina vs. 16. Coppin State
8. Temple vs. 9. Villanova
5. Connecticut vs. 12. Cornell
4. Pittsburgh vs. 13. UMBC

Games in Washington D.C.
6. Davidson vs. 11. Siena
3. Duke vs. 14. American
7. St. Joseph's vs. 10. George Mason
2. Georgetown vs. 15. Mt. St. Mary's

Midwest Regional

The Midwest is actually the power area for the world of college basketball. After Kansas the Midwest lacks a current #2 seed but includes 3 of the #3 seeds and 3 of the #5 seeds. The depth doesn't stop there with it going all the way to #16 where Western Kentucky a sweet 16 seed would have been seeded. And just how sweet would a matchup between Kentucky who would have been the #15 seed vs. Louisville the #2 seed have been. This would be one incredible bracket to watch from round 1 to its conclusion.

Games in Omaha, NE
1. Kansas vs. 16. Western Kentucky
8. Marquette vs. 9. Purdue
5. Notre Dame vs. 12. Indiana
4. Xavier vs. 13. Kent State

Games in Little Rock, AR
6. Michigan State vs. 11. West Virginia
3. Wisconsin vs. 14. Kansas State
7. Drake vs. 10. Butler
2. Louisville vs. 15. Kentucky

South Regional

The South regional consists of a variety of conferences. It includes teams from the SEC, ACC, and the Texas schools of the Big 12. Thus the top seeds of the bracket includes two 2 seeds in Texas and Tennessee as well as Final Four team Memphis. This bracket is probably the closest bracket to the typical 1-16 seeded bracket with most teams falling on or 1 spot away from their actual 2008 seed.

Games in Birmingham, AL
1. Memphis vs. Play-In Game: Mississippi Valley State vs. Texas Arlington
8. Texas A&M vs. 9. Arkansas
5. Clemson vs. 12. Winthrop
4. Vanderbilt vs. 13. Georgia

Games in Tampa, FL
6. Miami (FL) vs. 11. Baylor
3. Texas vs. 14. Belmont
7. Mississippi State vs. 10. South Alabama
2. Tennessee vs. 15. Austin Peay

Benefits vs. Negatives

Benefits: Eliminates the dumb POD system, Reduces Unnecessary Cross Country Travel, Creates a True Regional Champion, Final Four Always includes a team from each region of the country

Negatives: Regionals will Never Have Equal Talent, Creates Several Early Round Rematches, Eliminates the Opportunities for Certain Conferences to Dominate

Conclusion

Obviously this will never happen but I don't think it is nearly as bad as I initially thought it would be. In this years situation all the Final 4 teams were the 1 seeds of their actual bracket and would have remained the #1 seeds if the bracket was conducted as such.

The biggest problem of this bracket is obviously the distribution of talent. But isn't that a problem that typically comes up every year regardless? How could anyone have made the case this year that the West Regional had an equal amount of talent as the other regionals? This would make the distribution of talent worse, but its still a controversy we have every year, and would it be that much of a bad thing to get a stacked bracket where almost all of the regions games were competitive?

To me the negatives of teams playing each other again could also be construed as a benefit. For instance you could get additional rivalry games in the tournament each year rather than hoping that Tennessee and Memphis make the finals for Memphis to avenge their one loss this season. Plus by distributing the teams in this fashion each region would always be represented in the Final 4. Never would there be a Final Four consisting of 3 ACC teams and 1 team from the Big East. That way there would be interest around the country for the Final 4. Plus, the fans that attend the games within their region will be more likely to get teams they actually know and care about, rather than going to a game in Denver and watching Clemson or Vandy.

In the end we all know that this will never happen, but honestly I don't think it would negatively effect the tournament that much.

Breakdown of How This Tourney Would Have Gone

Dice-K's projected stats are unreal. 108 Games, in your Mike Marshall Dice-K's got you by two. 594 innings, what a rubber arm but just shy of Will White's single season record of 680. 54 wins again just shy of Old Hoss Radbourn's 59 wins. But with 810 strikeouts, Dice-K can knock off Old Hoss in the K department. That WHIP of .77 is phenomenal but just shy of good ole Pedro's mark in 2000. Perhaps knocking off Bert Blyleven's home runs allowed record would be bad, but whatever, that's what happens when you throw 594 innings.

Barack Obama apparently is the equivalent of a 5 year old girl when it comes to bowling as he bowled a 37. That is pretty damn pathetic, he better not give foreign leaders the option to a bowling competition when negotiating foreign policy.

Plus what's up with 1/2 Black Men and their inability to high five without incredible awkwardness. First the richest sports figure in the world, Tiger Woods, and now potentially the next president of the United States. Both can't high five.

Courtesy of Hugging Harold Reynolds

Certainly it would be a brash to say that after two games this season the Mets are screwed because of Pedro's Hammy Pop but it's not a reach to say that this makes their post season chances significantly more questionable. As of now we do not know the full extent of Pedro's injury nor the given amount of time he will be sidelined, but for these here purposes let's assume near the worst and use Phil Hughes as a guideline. Hughes last season left his no hit bid with a hamstring strain and then went on to miss 3 months.

So if Pedro is gone for 3 months of the season, just where will the Mets go? Will the Mets be worse than last season? The simple answer is no, not really. They didn't have Pedro at all last season and this year they have Johan Santana. They're still a better team. So if Pedro, whom I named the Mets Key Player, is out for 3 months whom will be the new key Mets? I believe the pressure will now fall firmly on Mike Pelfrey's shoulders. Last season he wasn't ready and was eventually sent down. This season he won the 5th spot mostly because El Duque started the season on the DL. Now Pelfrey could potentially be in the rotation for a long time. At the very worst Pelfrey must transfrom himself into a .500 pitcher. Without their #2 starter the Mets need Pelfrey to better than average #5 starter to make up for the wins Peetey will be leaving on the DL.

With all that being said and even without Pedro, I still think the Mets have the best team in the NL East, and will still win the division even if he does miss 3 months.

Kenyatta I understand you are a large 300 lb former New England Patriot but in just about every single circumstance it is unacceptable to urinate on the dance room floor. I'm assuming that at this club there was a very large bathroom with several urinals, and if you really need to piss yand all the urinals were taken than you could have just lifted one of the guys who was already pissing up and moved him. And then taken his urinal.

Now if you were at ATO I would completely understand given there 1 toilet for the entire party policy. Plus there was that dark spot in the basement by the second unused bar. So that would be a different story, but alas you were at a Club with a bunch of cops. And thus were arrested and now we have a very unfortunate urination story.

This season the NBA has listened to one of my many thoguht and has started to track a players +/- during the course of individual games. Due to my dislike of Brian Scalabrine, I am going to track he's performance in a weekly post called The Scalabrine Watch. 3 Million a year for what?

Celtics 111 Sonics 82: DNP

Celtics 92 Jazz 110: DNP

Celtics 99 Bucks 77: +4
Scalabrine actually in uniform and on the court for the first time in weeks and the last time in weeks. 2 assists and 2 rebounds in 6 minutes isn't all that bad. But he's a better cheerleader than player, so Doc has been using him in his more natural position.

Game Stats: 6 Minutes, 0-0, 1 Point, 2 Rebound, 2 Assists

Celtics 93 Spurs 91: DNP

Celtics 94 Rockets 74: DNP

Celtics 94 Mavericks 90: DNP

Celtics 106 Hornets 113: DNP

Celtics 90 76ers 95: DNP

Celtics 117 Suns 97: DNP

Celtics 112 Hornets 92: DNP

Celtics 88 Heat 62: DNP

Overall Period Performance: +4
In the span of three weeks, Scalabrine has only seen the floor one time. One measely game to which he had a +/- of positive 4. Yes one game in 3 weeks and he's making 3 million dollars. Why doesn't he atleast put on a cheerleaders outfit and start hucking the dancers in the air?

Weeks Stats: 6 Minutes, 0-0, 1 Point, 2 Rebounds, 2 Assists

Overall Season Performance: +27
With the DNPs coming full steam ahead it looks as if Scals will finish the season with a positive plus/minus. I can't decide whether I just want the DNPs to continue or if I want him to get a ton of PT over the last week of the season while the Cs rest Allen, Pierce and KG and hope that his +/- dips closer to par. We shall see what the Doctor orders.

Season Stats:10:18 MPG, .317 FG%, 1.9 PPG, 1.5 RPG, 0.8 APG

So I was listening to the Michael Kay show on my way home from work yesterday and they were discussing how the Mets as a franchise still do not have a no hitter during their long history. Than somehow that divulged in to mentioning the Yankees two perfect games in back to back seasons by the David's, Cone and Wells. Than for some reason LaGreca's illogical Met fanaticism stepped in and he started discrediting Cone's Perfect Game because it came against a miserable team in the Expos. Discrediting a perfect game against anyone is stupid, but saying the Expos were a lousy hitting team that season was even more stupid.

Let's first point out the fact that the Expos roster which David Cone threw a perfect game against consisted of several all stars. First off they had Vlad Guerrero, the same player who has never in his entire career hit below .300. I'm sure it was very easy to get out Guerrero in every at bat given the fact he had 194 hits that season. Yep easy. They also had Jose Vidro at the start of his prime. Vidro hit .304 in 1999 and went on to hit in the higher .300s for the next 5 seasons. Additionally they had Rondell White in his prime. In 1999 arguably had the best season of his career when he hit .312. Finally they had a young Orlando Cabrera who has spent a year or so in the league.

I'm not going to make the case that it was a great Expos line up, but how can you seriously discount a perfect game simply because their opponent has a bad record. They had Vlad Guerrero, a player that has averaged well over a hit per game his entire career. And furthermore, didn't the 1999 Mets play the very same Expos several more times during that season than the Yankees? Where was their No-Hitter if the Expos were so miserable? Perhaps you should have just agreed that it is piss poor than in their entire franchise history the Mets have yet to throw a no hitter.