SimonOnSports

11 Reasons Why I Hate NASCAR WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! NASCAR is a sports, i dont care if you don't like NASCAR,whoever doesn't like it can go DIE!!! seriously!!!!!!!!!!!! (If only the Confederacy used NASCAR as motivation)

Time to take me behind the woodshed, so here are some of my predictions from 2008 that were absolutely F'N awful. 11. Your 07-08 NBA Coach of the Year will be Scott Skiles. He was fired midseason. ( Reviewing my NBA Predictions ) 10. The Saints will go 14-2 and get the NFC #1 seed. Not quite. ( NFC South Preview ) 9. Richie Sexson will be your comeback player of the year. I think he's basically out of the league now. ( AL Award Predictions ) 8. The Miami Heat will win the NBA Southeast Division and Get the 3 seed. More like the 15 seed. Who knew Wade was going to get huryt and Shaq traded? ( Reviewing my NBA Predictions ) 7. The Canadians were not going to make the playoffs. They got the #1 seed. ( Review of my NHL Predictions ) 6. The Lakers will miss out on the playoffs. They got the #1 seed, ha. ( Reviewing my NBA Predictions ) 5. NFL Comeback player of the year will be... Marc Bulger. Ugh. ( 2008 NFL Awards Predictions ) 4. The Tigers would have the best record i...

Breakin it down is 5 key stories plus a pick for each postseason game this season. Is it the Iggles or the Eagles? Which team in the NFL has been more inconsistent than the Eagles? It's almost as if they have two seperate teams that they travel with. They beat the Steelers at home and the Giants on the road. They tie the lowly Bengals and get embarrassed by the Ravens. Their offense scores 3 points against a floundering Washington then it scores 44 against a playoff fighting Dallas. I Repeat You Are Not a Power Running Team This is where the Eagles sometimes lose games. Andy Reid in his all knowing fupa decide that its time to man up and pound the rock. It never works because they just don't have the personnel to do it. It'll be benificial if the Eagles avoid manning up. Will The Fat Be In the Middle? Pat Williams is the player that makes the Vikings rush defense so formidable. You want to run up the middle? Well too bad because you have to get past a 6 foot wide man. ...

Power Rankings are a fickle thing. They truly are meaningless, well except for college football, and yet everyone seems to do them. Who's better than who is always on everyones mind so the best way to say who's better than who is to print out a 32 deep list. But then when putting together the list two things make them completely biased. First off, everyone needs expectations and preseason rankings are those biases. So the Falcons for instance started out as the worst team in the NFL and yet wound up at 7 to end the season. Whoops. The next bias is that whatever happened today is significantly more important than what happened yesterday. Look at the Jets. They get crushed on National TV in San Diego and move to #21 on the list aka pathetic then they lose to the Raiders to stay below the midway point yet weeks later when they beat the Titans they are the 3rd best team in the NFL? Whoops. Anyway here is your ESPN NFL Power Rankings . I've including graphs tracking the progress...

Jeremiah Masoli is my new favorite Quackerback. Sure his passing appeared piss poor last night, but on two seperate occasions he dropped his shoulder and absolutely trucked an Okie State Dback. Including the one shown here at the 40 second mark, which after he trucked the DB he took to the house. And... Mr. Robinson might want to check to see if his brain cell count is the same as it was yesterday after this head smash.

Breakin it down is 5 key stories plus a pick for each postseason game this season. The Health of 81 Mr. Boldin has missed out on the final two weeks due to injury, granted both games were meaningless for the Cardinals but there is still reason to be concerned. He says he's playing but if he's not 100% the Cardinals secondary is not very scary. Will the Lawyer Be At Work? Lawyer Malloy might not be the dominant force he used to be back in the day with the Pats, but he's still a veteran leader in the secondary and a warm body. The Falcons will be in nickel and dime coverage all day trying to matchup with the 3 or more wideout sets, so if the Lawyer is not in town the Falcons may suffer. Burner Turner Mr. Turner is out of the shadows and into the limelight. He seemingly scores 3 touchdowns a game and against a weak Cardinals defense he could easily take over the game and give the Falcons a first round victory. Ice Water Matty Ice is 3-0 as a starter in games in January, aka h...

Listening to the Radio I just Heard a Jet Fan Call in and Say "Yesterday was a great day to be a Jet fan, we actually fired a coach that wanted to stay. That's the first time that's happened since like Kotite." Actually, the Jets didn't even get to fire Kotite. He resigned two days before his final game of the 1-15 season. Then we got Parcells who "retired" from coaching. Then Bill Belichick quit a day after getting the job. Al Groh quit to take the head coaching job at UVA. The Herminator left to take the Kansas City job after going 4-14. The last coach the Jets fired was Pete Carrol, and that was to hire Rich Kotite. Shit.

Jeff Wolfert is a very accurate kicker. How accurate? Wll Wolfert eclipsed the NCAA Record for accuracy percentage after he made the field goal to tie the game at 23 and so ESPN's broadcasters started to stroke his stats. The ESPN broadcasters continued to go on and on about how great of a kicker he was, and when he stepped up to kick the game winner with 3 seconds left it was just a formality. ESPN even posted the tagline showing he was the most accurate kicker of all time to give the extra confidence boost. So what does Wolfert do? He shanks it of course.

I've always been interested in where people go to college and what sort of trends pro teams may have when they recruit players. Thus last year going into the conference championship game I put that interest into action and created a spreadsheet which separated the 4 remaining NFL teams rosters by conference. I tallied up the total players, marked down which NFL team scooped up the most players, and noted some notable players from each conference. And of course pulled together a little conclusion and analysis at the end. This year I'm slightly ahead of the game and have created the list for all playoff teams. If you care to quiz your knowledge on the subject first I set up a 12 question quiz earlier . Additionally if you desire the spreadsheet you can go here for the D1 list tabulated by conference and here for the D1-AA and Lower list . Hopefully this will appease those who want more info / give some clarity to all those who may be confused. Now onto the Conference by Confere...

which_conference_dominates?

If You're Looking for Humor, go watch the Jets Highlights here and pay attention for when Eric Mangini says "Why Would He Throw That?" after a patented Gunslinger arm punt.

Jon Gruden is EMO. Wade Phillips is battling a case of the sniffles. Eric Mangini is finished watching Arm Punts. Rod Marinelli is confused as to whether the scoreboard says 0-16. Rod Marinelli is sad to see that it actually does say 0-16. Romeo Crennel is eating for the last time at his favorite Cleveland Buffet. Herman Edwards is not enjoying starting a QB from Coastal Carolina. Marvin Lewis is ready to be the mercy kill. Marvin Lewis is wishing Herman luck on his impending job search. Dick Jauron is very intrigued but baffled as to how clocks work. Mike Shanahan is uber-pissed that he lost to this chump. Lovie Smith is preparing to clean up his tear drops with a red hanky. Bill Belichick is getting blown out of the playoffs.

AFC #5 Florida at #4 Utah in Salt Lake City Florida Key Wins: Miami, LSU, UGA (n), @FSU, South Carolina Florida Losses: Ole Miss Florida Wildcard Win Over Georgia Tech (72%) Utah Key Wins: BYU, TCU, @Air Force, @Michigan Utah Losses: None Storyline: Can Urban return to Utah and dominate his former school? #3 Southern Cal at #2 Alabama in Tuscaloosa Southern Cal Key Wins: tOSU, Oregon, Cal Southern Cal Losses: @Oregon St. Southern Cal Wildcard Win Over TCU (85%) Alabama Key Wins: @Clemson, @Georgia, @LSU Alabama Bad Losses: None Storyline: Can Pete Carroll lead his Trojans to a massive victory on the road against Nick Saban? Online Surveys & Market Research Online Surveys & Market Research NFC #6 Texas at #2 Oklahoma in Norman Texas Key Wins: OU(n), Mizzou, Okie St., @Kansas Texas Losses: @TT Texas Wildcard Win Over Penn State (66%) Oklahoma Key Wins: Nebraska, Texas Tech, @Okie State, Cincy, TCU Oklahoma Losses: Texas(n) Storyline: Can the Sooners enact revenge on their homef...

Wow You Guys Suck: Tampa Bay Bucs, There were a lot of collapses yesterday, but none to me was worse than the Bucs. At home against the awful Raiders in a game that could have potentially put you into the playoffs and you lay an egg. You let Michael Bush who was the Raiders 3rd running back, run all over you. Embarrassing. Runners Up: The Cowgirls can enjoy Cabo without any media attention this year, J E T S Just End the Season This Scarecrow Needs a Brain: Jerry Jones, Think it was a bright idea now to say that you are going to definitely bring back the coach next year before the game and then reiterating it after the blowout? Now when you fire him you're going to be a liar. Solid job Jerry. Runners Up: Dick Jauron is a play calling whiz, Cough Cough Cough: Denver Broncos, There were a lot of chokes this year, but the Broncos were probably the worst. They had three straight weeks where they could have clinched the division and each week they fired blanks including the beat ...

The Jets collapse in December so somebody needs to take the fall, and that man is Eric Mangini. Owner Woody Johnson and GM Mike Tannenbaum decided that it was time to let the "Mangenious" go and well to that I say meh. The Mangenious moniker came in 2006 and was strictly handed down by the media because the Jets made the playoffs when everyone thought they were going to suck. But here's the deal in the NFL, teams make dramatic turnarounds all the time. Look at the playoffs this season. The Falcons, Ravens and Dolphins were all horrible last year and then they get good quarterback and look now they're in the playoffs. In 2006 that's exactly what happened. The Jets in 2005 were a disaster mostly because Pennington got injured. In 2006 Pennington came back and played well and thanks to a weak schedule the Jets managed to win 10 games. It was certainly a welcome unexpected outcome but in heinsight it really wasn't completely shocking. Last season once aga...

Apparently being ridiculously jacked up and 264 pounds of pure muscle doesn't mean you're going to make an immediate impact in the NFL. The Jets 6th pick in the 2008 draft Vernon Gholston recorded 13 total tackles this entire season, with 5 of them being solo. Not quite the impact you look for from a top ten draft choice. The Jets in their decision making this past offseason were win now. They opted to bring in the aging Favre. They spent top dollar on free agents Pace, Faneca and Woody. They traded for defensive tackle Kris Jenkins. They were set to win this season. But why then draft a kid that everyone proclaimed had massive talent and physical skills but lacked polish and was going to be a project. The kid didn't pick up football until his sophomore year of high school so his experience isn't quite top notch. Maybe in a couple of years he'll round into a pro bowl but right now he was a complete waste of a pick and the difference between having an impact ...

I think that pretty much sums up my emotions pretty well.

Here is a recap of my thoughts throughout a Sunday afternoon at the bar. All times are estimated 1:00-2:15 Go Buffalo 2:15 Aww crap stupid Rian Lindell 2:30 Haha, can't kick through a 50 mile per hour wind can you Gostkowski. 2:45 Seriously? Dick Jauron might be the worst coach in the NFL. How do you call a run on 3rd down with 22 seconds left and no timeouts left? You're getting fired tomorrow and you deserve to get fired. The Bills are done, this sucks. 2:55 Trent Edwards you stupid prick, how the hell do you not see the rusher right in your god damn face. The Bills are screwed. 3:00 Touchdown Pats, well there goes the division.... Go Chad? 4:00 Hmm, what are the chances the Jaguars come up big? I mean the Raiders won so maybe? Please maybe? 4:20 Eh 3-0 Baltimore shit. 4:25 Nice Arm Punt Brett ya douche. 4:30 J A G S JAGS,JAGS,JAGS... 7-3 Wooooo 4:35 6-0 Jets Yay 4:40 Crappity Crap Crap the Jags are fucked... Go Chad? 4:50 Eh touchdown Chad, stupid f'n Jets 4:55 Oh ...

Episode 8 of Arm Punt Formations starring the "Gunslinger" Check out more Episodes of Arm Punt Formations

So I have a little 2008 New York Jets Calendar hanging up in my cubical and for the entire month there has just been this chilling face staring back at me. See the Calendars are made approximately October of the previous year, so they're really just guessing who's going to be on the team the next season. They always include players who are no longer on the roster, for instance in 2007 Curtis Martin was prominently displayed despite retiring. But this year is different, this year is all about bad karma because December is Chad Pennington month. Not only is Chad 3-0 in December while the Jets are 1-2, but now the Dolphins can clinch the division in the Meadowlands during the last December game. Karma is a bitch. Chad's also on the Calendar Cover too.

Wow You Guys Suck: NFC Wild Card Contenders, First the Cowboys stumble at home against the Ravens, then the Bucs get thumped at home by the Chargers and finally the Eagles can't get it done against a Redskins team that has been imploding. Nobody wants to make the playoffs. Runners Up: the Jets don't want to make the playoffs either of course, the Lions are 0-15. This Scarecrow Needs a Brain: Every Jet Player and Coach, 4 games on the West Coast against below .500 teams. 4 games that should be wins. And yet you come home with 4 losses. Someones got to rethink travel schedules because obviously it isn't working. Runners Up: me for actually getting my hopes up, the Cardinals for even making the trip to New England. Cough Cough Cough: Three Day Old Cheeseburger, The Cheeseburger vastly outgained the Titans but then he decided to turn the ball over 4 times. Whoops. Runners Up: John Casey missed the 50 yarder to clinch home field, all the teams who held destiny in their han...

Here is the current NFL playoff picture. I didn't go into the detail of which team gets the NFC's 5th seed if the Falcons lose, if I get time to do that over the course of the week I will. Mangini can go screw.

So you're team isn't going to make the BCS Bowls this year, I know it sucks. Do you want to go to one sometime in the future (Obviously)? Do you want to know what kind of recruiting it takes to get there (Of Course You Do)? Well here's a breakdown of how many 5 star, 4 star and 3 star recruits each BCS school has recruited over the 4 years. So what do we get from such a chart? Well first of all you can see that if you're not dominating the recruiting scene in the Big 10, Big 12, Pac 10, or SEC than chances are you've got limited chance against the elite. Meanwhile VT has become the ACC elite since joining the conference but is at a notch below Florida, OU, UT, & USC in the recruiting game. This map also shows either just how solid of a coach Brian Kelly is or just how terrible the Big East is. 10-2 in a BCS conference with one single 4 star recruit in 4 years. Something tells me that his 'Cincinnati is a big time program now and not a stepping stone...

I'll be taking time away from the computer this week so the posts will be much less frequent then the norm. Everyone (except Brett Favre) have a great holiday.

JUST END THE FUCKING SEASON

Here are my selections for the Bowl Pick'Em game. If you care to soundly defeat me then join up here Tebow is a Superior Being , Password: Tebow. All the action begins tomorrow. EagleBank Bowl: Wake Forest over Navy because rematches in college football are uber lame. New Mexico: Fresno State over Colorado State cause the Bulldogs have a victory over the best football team in all of Jersey. magicJack St. Petersburg: South Florida over Memphis cause nothing says magic like the Grothe mohawk. Pioneer Las Vegas: BYU over Arizona cause the Mormons and Vegas mix beautifully. R+L Carriers New Orleans: Troy over Southern Miss because Trojan men don't lose bowl games. San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia: TCU over Boise State cause Boise St. is not on the Smurf turf. Sheraton Hawaii: Notre Dame over Hawaii cause the Irish are bound to snap that bowl loss streak against a lame opponent. Motor City: Central Michigan over Florida Atlantic cause the its the god damn Motor City...

1. New York Giants (11-3) Remaining Schedule: Carolina, @Minnesota Can Clinch Homefield With: A Win Carolina Can Clinch Bye With: A Win or a Vikings loss If the Giants win one of the next two games they get a bye. If they lose both then they could go from 11-1 to wildcard weekend. 2. Carolina Panthers (11-3) Remaining Schedule: @Giants, @New Orleans Can Clinch Division With: A Win The Panthers still have to win a game to clinch the division title as both the Falcons and Bucs would hold a the tie-breaker over them thanks to a better record within the conference. 3. Minnesota Vikings (9-5) Remaining Schedule: Atlanta, New York Giants Can Clinch Division With: A Win or a Bears Loss Can Clinch 2 Seed With: Two Wins and Two Giants Win Holds Tie-Breaker Over: Carolina, Chicago The Vikings win this week and they clinch the division thanks to common game record. If they lose this week and beat the Giants while the Bears win out than it drops down to Strength of Victory in which would...

Ugh, looking for a bounce back from last weeks debacle. 5. Philadelphia Eagles (-4 1/2) at Washington Redskins The Eagles are playing well and are still in the playoff hunt where the Redskins have officially given up on the season. 4. Houston Texans (-7 1/2) at Oakland Raiders Come on the Raiders are atrocious and the Texans are playing really well. This one is a gimme. 3. Detroit Lions (+6 1/2) vs. New Orleans Saints The Saints are done this year and the Lions are a cover machine, plus they have more motivation to win this week. Who the hell wants to be 0-16? 2. Indianapolis Colts (-6 1/2) at Jacksonville Jaguars The Colts let me down last week by only losing by ten, but I didn't no Dan-O the cover machine was playing for the Lions. This week the Colts clinch the three seed with a win and destroy the decrepit Jaguars. 1. New York Jets (-4 1/2) at Seattle Seahawks If I'm gonna go down in a heap of misery I'm going to do so with confidence. The Jets got the lucky bou...

Wow You Guys Suck: Washington Redskins, You're playoff hopes were essentially trashed coming into last week already but you certainly threw some extra dirt on your grave by losing to the friggin Bungles. Runners Up: Cardinals defense gave up 4 touchdown passes to Tavaris Jackson, Oakland's defense let the Pats score on their first 5 possessions. This Scarecrow Needs a Brain: Dick Jauron, The Jets needed a gift and I was about one more first down away from turning it off and kicking a hole in the wall, but alas Dick Jauron and JP 'Loss'man were there for me. And now the Jets have two more weeks to break my spirit. Runners Up: the Refs that decided it was indisputable that Santonio scored the touchdown, Jeff Fisher opting to throw a bomb No-Hands McCareins rather than kick a 49 yard field goal. Cough Cough Cough: The HERMINATORS, The HERMINATORS had an 18 point lead and the chance to knock the Chargers out of the playoffs. But then their offense opted to not score anym...

Episode 7 of Arm Punt Formations starring the "Gunslinger" Check out more Episodes of Arm Punt Formations

There are a total of 32 possible combinations of wins and losses over the next two weeks. The Dolphins and Jets both win 12 of the possibilities where the Pats win the division in 8 of the scenarios. 1. I highlighted two of the Dolphins wins with a 1. In this scenario the Dolphins and Pats would have the same Division Record, Common Game Record, and Conference Record. It would then come down to Strength of Victory where beating a better team helps you out. The only difference in their victories would wind up being the Chiefs and the Chargers. The Dolphins would have beaten the Chargers and the Pats beaten the Chiefs. Because the Chargers have a better record the Dolphins would win the Tie-Breaker.

1. Tennessee Titans (12-2) Remaining Schedule: Pittsburgh, @Indy Can Clinch Homefield With: A Win over Pittsburgh or A Win over Indy and a Pittsburgh loss to Cleveland The Titans can lock up the #1 seed this week with a win over Pittsburgh. A loss however sets up a situation where they would need Cleveland to show up and beat the Steelers in week 17. Doubtful. 2. Pittsburgh Steelers (11-3) Remaining Schedule: @Tennessee, Cleveland Can Clinch Homefield With: A Win over Tennessee and Either A Win over Cleveland or a Tennessee loss to Indy Thanks to the Texans the Steelers now control their own destiny. Win out and the AFC title travels through Pittsburgh. Lose to the Titans and they may have to schedule a return trip to the land of country music. 3. New York Jets (9-5) Remaining Schedule: @Seattle, Miami Can Clinch Division With: Two Wins or A Win over Miami and a Patriot Loss Holds Tie-Breakers Over: Patriots and Dolphins in the Event They Beat the Dolphins. Nobody if they lose to t...