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Well That's a Miserable Way to Die

You go to the stadium to see your favorite team play with a bunch of your family members, leaving your pregnant wife at home but taking your young children. The game then ends, your team wins and you venture down from the upperdeck only to find that because you are in a shitty old stadium like Shea Stadium the escalator is broken down and not working so you have to walk down the steps. Somehow someway you lose your balance (perhaps due to an intoxicated decision to try to slide down the escalator) and you fall two stories, smash on the concrete and that's the end, you die on your way to the hospital. Perhaps the man was an idiot and tried to slide down the escalator, either way if you're in a professional ball park the god damn escalators should be functional. Maybe if they were functional the guy would have just stepped on the escalator and let it ride him down.

Perhaps I'm in the minority but I've always been afraid of heights, or falling rather. I absolutely hate escalators like this where if you look down you'll notice the ground is a far way away. I despise being close to any edges or cliffs just cause you don't know what could happen. So I'm sure tonight when I'm riding up the fun escalators at Yankee Stadium I'll be as uncomfortable as ever.

Comments

Anonymous said…
broken down escalators make stairs... if you can't walk down stairs without pissing yourself i think it's time to stay in your first floor apartment for the next decade...

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