Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Breaking News Here at SimonOnSports, we have just confirmed that Tiger Woods is a man and that he desires casual sex with Strangers. Tiger Woods manhood was never really in question but we were able to dig deeper and confirm that his manhood is normal and that he, like 99.99% of other men on this planet, desire sexual conquests with attractive women.
Why are people so shocked and interested by this? Tiger Woods is a damn billionaire, who has an Ego the size of Jupiter and thinks he can do anything. When you combine these ingredients (Man, Billionaire, Massive Ego, Man, Attractive Women Dying to Get in Your Pants) and stir it up into a pot, chances are pretty damn good you're going to get an indiscretion or two.
Tiger Woods likes sex. His hot Swedish wife wasn't enough just like 75% of the other pro athletes in the world don't think their wives are enough. Hell Shaq cheated on his wife with Gilbert Arenas' girlfriend and somehow that slipped below the radar. Yet because he's Tiger Woods now every media outlet in the world is putting out article after article reiterating what we should already have known. Tiger Woods is a man, a man of power, he likes sex, it's really not that shocking or interesting.
I admit the voicemail was entertaining to listen to but other than that I've had my fill.