Ultimate UFL 2009 Season Prediction

And by ultimate I mean, shortest ever. I have no idea who is on these teams. I basically know that they have some washed up former NFL coaches (Dennis Green, Jim Fassel, Ted Cottrell & Jim Haslett) and that they have some mediocre former backup NFL QBS (Losman, Quinn Gray, & Brooks Bollinger). I also know it starts tonight on vs. so here's the best UFL preview out there, or the worst, or the only one.

4th, California Redwood: They're coming in last because they are wearing uniforms similar to the Seattle Seahawks highlighter green from two weeks ago and their QB is Shane Boyd. I don't know who he is, so Dennis Green you're out.

3rd, Florida Tuskers: Brooks Bollinger is a very very very bad quarterback. And look at the teams in Florida in the NFL right now, they are a combined 3-9, football in Florida is only looking up in Gainesville.

2nd, New York Sentinels: They're playing at Citi field amongst other places. This means that their roster is going to be decimated by injuries.

1st, Las Vegas Locomotives: J.P. Losman & Vegas is a combination construed by god in heaven. Vegas takes the title.

I have a 25% shot, assuming the league actually finishes up the season so this prediction is likely more accurate than my NFL one.

Comments

azjet said…

How bad is Bollinger? Come on Karnak, do some homework. Read something other than what you write.

11:22 PM

Simon said…

I unfortunately needed to watch Brooks Bollinger quarterback the Jets in regular season games. He's not good. Hence why he is no longer even a 3rd string NFL Quarterback.

If you think he's good than you are either a family member, or a delusional Badger fan.

9:23 AM

Lou Holtz is the Homer / Annoyingly Delusional

As my buddy Joe and I always joke, if Notre Dame was suiting up against an all Jesus team, aka a team made up of 55 Sons of God, Lou Holtz would probably still pick Notre Dame to win by a touchdown. So of course this weekend when I'm watching Sportscenter and they have him and fellow old man Corso making predictions, Lou picks ND to beat Michigan. Not that big of a deal, Michigan is a big question mark this year, but of course than Lou says that Notre Dame will win 11 games this year. This is the same Notre Dame that lost to a service academy last year. And just when you thought the douchy homerism was going to end ESPN asks which BCS school is going to be the biggest surprise team in the country. Any guesses to whom it was? I'll give you a clue it was another team he coached. If you guessed South Carolina you would be a winner. Next up on Lou's prediction watch, the Jets win the Superbowl, NC St. wins the ACC, Arkansas dominates the SEC West, Minnesota wins the Big

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M E T S = Mercifully End The Season

Do it before David Wright gets Hurt!

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Ranking the New York Jets Historical Helmets

There's no way you can't go with the Helmet they won the Super Bowl in. You just can't. Next, I really don't understand why they don't where the helmet with the Jet as their throwback uniforms. That helmet is awesome. Then I'm going with the Helmets from the 80s because it's the classic feel and the white face mask is 10 times better than the black one. And the rankings continue until you get to... The Titans Helmet. I hate everything about those Titan uniforms. The Helmets are boring and the colors are GOD awful. Navy blue and Mustard? What the hell is that. Disgusting. If they wore those unis when I was a kid I'd probably be a Giant fan, and be much happier with my life in football.

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