NFL Week 5 Pick Suggestions

I sucked less last week. Woo.

5. Detroit Lions (+3 1/2) vs. Chicago Bears
I'm smoking some serious stuff right now but I think the Lions actually come off the bye scoring points and hanging tough with the Bears. Maybe I've been hit in the head one too many times recently.

4. Denver Broncos (-3 1/2) vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Yes the Broncos couldn't stop the run at all last week. But LJ was a rested beast. At home this week they will put up a ton of points and win by a touchdown.

3. Washington Redskins (+5 1/2) at Philadelphia Eagles
Perhaps it was the fact that the Eagles put up a boatload of points in Dallas on primetime that got everyone so high on them. But the Redskins beat the Cowboys in Dallas. This is a tough divisional game that could go either way. I'll take 5.5 on a game that's 50/50 any day.

2. Indianapolis Colts(-3 1/2) at Houston Texans
The Texans for some reason were overrated by everybody this season for some reason. The Colts need this victory and will go into Houston and spoil the home opener.

1. New Englad Patriots (-3 1/2) at San Francisco 49ers
Bill BEEEELLLICCCHHIIICCKKK off a bye week and facing up against a shitty team only giving 3 1/2? Sign me up.

Survivor League Pick: SCREW Seattle

Ugh, go with Dallas.

Non-Spread Picks

Lou Holtz is the Homer / Annoyingly Delusional

As my buddy Joe and I always joke, if Notre Dame was suiting up against an all Jesus team, aka a team made up of 55 Sons of God, Lou Holtz would probably still pick Notre Dame to win by a touchdown. So of course this weekend when I'm watching Sportscenter and they have him and fellow old man Corso making predictions, Lou picks ND to beat Michigan. Not that big of a deal, Michigan is a big question mark this year, but of course than Lou says that Notre Dame will win 11 games this year. This is the same Notre Dame that lost to a service academy last year. And just when you thought the douchy homerism was going to end ESPN asks which BCS school is going to be the biggest surprise team in the country. Any guesses to whom it was? I'll give you a clue it was another team he coached. If you guessed South Carolina you would be a winner. Next up on Lou's prediction watch, the Jets win the Superbowl, NC St. wins the ACC, Arkansas dominates the SEC West, Minnesota wins the Big...

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Ranking the New York Jets Historical Helmets

There's no way you can't go with the Helmet they won the Super Bowl in. You just can't. Next, I really don't understand why they don't where the helmet with the Jet as their throwback uniforms. That helmet is awesome. Then I'm going with the Helmets from the 80s because it's the classic feel and the white face mask is 10 times better than the black one. And the rankings continue until you get to... The Titans Helmet. I hate everything about those Titan uniforms. The Helmets are boring and the colors are GOD awful. Navy blue and Mustard? What the hell is that. Disgusting. If they wore those unis when I was a kid I'd probably be a Giant fan, and be much happier with my life in football.

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