Tuesday, January 29, 2008
As a Celtic fan you come to understand the inherent necessity of a token redhead playing in the green and white uniform. Really did anyone ever look better than Bill Walton in a Celtic Jersey? But there has to be a better option than Brian Scalabrine, and thus the new feature. Todays edition focuses on Animated Redheads.
Daphne Blake: You need someone on the bench to solve a mystery, someone on the bench with a talking dog? Daphne Blake is your gal than. Have you solved any mysteries this year Scals?
Ariel: Playing in or near the ocean and need to talk to the fishes? Need a girl who can morph into human form if needed? Than Ariel is your gal. Can Scals turn into a Merman if he wants? I don't think so.
Jessica Rabbit: Jessica Rabbit could be a key strategic asset for the Celtics. Throw her into the game and have her set screens all game long and eventually someone is either going to truck her over or start doing a little grabbing and squeezing in inappropriate places. I'm assuming that copping a feel would be a technical foul. How many technical fouls have you drawn this year Scals?
Phoenix: Need a player who can both start a fire and move things with her mind. As well as being an attractive tease to bring opponents in only to set them on flames? Well the Phoenix can knock out the best player on the other team with severe burns in every game. When was the last time you did the burning instead of the opposite Scals?
Beaker: Need a moron who can't do anything and will probably make everything he does into a disaster? Well than you can choose from Scals or Beaker.
Groundskeeper Willie: Need a Semi nuts Scottish immigrant willing to wear a Kilt, clean your toilets, run around with a shovel, and be generally pissed off 24/7? Than Groundskeeper Willie is your man. Maybe the Celtics should just have Scalabrine clean their toilets. Hmm...