Weekly Waste of Oxygen

Friday, January 11, 2008

Apparently the biggest theme of this week is miserable parenting.

1. Christopher Biechele - Whine, Whine, Whine, and maybe some cheese. The NFL cost me some money because they decided to televise the game to the masses. So because I'm a whining baby and I spent my $200 bucks to get the NFL network I want the NFL to pay me all the imaginary dollars I would have made if patrons came to my bar to watch the big game.

2. Mr. & Mrs. Thorn - Sometimes you just really really shouldn't give your child what they want, especially when giving them what they want requires you to fight the local government simply because your little boy wants to be a... cheerleader. Seriously, as parents not only are you condoning your son to get his ass whooped, you are promoting it. Genius.

3. James Gahan - Jose Canseco probably would vote for this guy as father of the year rather than a waste of oxygen. But any man who decides that his sons fame is more important than his future health, and decides that feeding his 14 year old performance enhancers is a pretty big waste of oxygen to me. Thankfully he'll be heading to the slammer for a long time.

4. The Ohio State University - Two straight years you tease us with your explosive starts only to be completely out of the game by the 4th quarter. Why must you be completely outclassed by the SEC, why must you win all of your cupcake games and not lose to the likes of Stanford like USC. Must you punish college football fans by winning all of the winnable games but getting pummeled by the superior squads in the Title game?

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Chris Burke

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